Light's Tombstone

I know you're not my mom but… can I call you mother?

Angela stared at nothing as her fingers moved her knitting needles in a flurry. She was moving so fast she could feel the heat coming off the metal needles. The rhythmic clicking was almost soothing as she tried to process the events that happened over the past few days.

It had been a good idea to send Sam and Dean off on a job by themselves and leave her with Jack. Dean hadn't liked the idea but she had been firm and told them to go and enjoy. She knew that Dean couldn't find anything to argue back about when she didn't rise to the bait. So she was left with Jack and the others that resided in the bunker.

It hadn't been too bad since Jack and Gabriel got along well together. She taught Jack the basics in reading and writing and he figured out how to use a laptop. In between, she started him on the list of chores that were necessary and basics on training with his new dog. Sherlock insisted on schooling lessons. All in all it was pleasant and worked out really well. So much that Jack asked to call her 'mother'. That was until the last job.

Jack had actually found it and she couldn't help but be proud of him and she signaled that with an approving pat and rub on his shoulder. That was after she spent about three minutes looking at Castiel with that bland look Sam didn't like. She couldn't believe that her angel was alive. She felt the burn on her shoulder when he died and Sam treated it. That she didn't sense him being alive… that had her wary.

Castiel stared back at her and she was about to dismiss him as not her angel when she heard him in her head like they used to. She couldn't help let out the breathy sigh that had tears forming and she hugged the angel. It almost turned into bawling when her angel hugged Jack. It only seemed to put Jack's finding of a potential job on cloud nine and she suggested that he go with the boys and Castiel on the job and she also warned Dean not to get too overboard with the cowboy thing.

It made things a little lonely without Jack around but things went on as normal and she had the baby to take care of. Gabriel was bored and asked when Jack would be back. She had to admit that having to 'raise' the angel that looked after her over the centuries and rescued her from hell was strange but also ironic and funny. Gabriel was determined to milk the whole teen years for what it was worth.

"Come on, Cat. It's so boring. Why did you tell Jack to go?"

It had her laugh and just continue to put him to work on his homework and chores. It was punishment enough making him live like most other mortals on the straight and narrow. It was poetic justice since he had used his abilities to deliver just desserts among other things. It was just another day until the boys came home.

She was in the kitchen making dinner. It was fun to make Dean think she had a sixth sense. In reality, it was Sam giving her a heads up. It was old since Dean knew about the bond between her and Sam but it was still fun to play. Right away though she could tell that something was wrong. She could sense it and Jess started making noises that sounded like distress from her basket she had been placed in while her mother cooked. Immediately, she turned down the pilots on the stove and came out asking if everything was alright.

It was like when the boys got in trouble and knew it. Sam, Dean and Castiel were shuffling uncomfortably. Jack was looking defeated and wanting to cry. She looked at Sam and he gave her the rundown silently. Without fear, even when Jack told her not to, she wrapped her arms around the boy. She was well aware that he could hurt her but her trust was implicit enough to ignore the potential danger. She held him even when he struggled until he relaxed in her arms.

Sam and Dean meant well trying to explain to Jack that what he did was an accident to the security guard. They were nervous though having experienced firsthand what Jack could do. She experienced it too but it tool centuries to get to the level of calm she could exhibit even when she was scared. Her reaction to Jack ended up being an eye flare in his direction. It was meant to tell him to calm down but also letting him know that she was not tolerating shenanigans in her house.

In the end, Jack only say himself as a monster and that he couldn't stay. Angela knew what that meant and braced herself, which was a good thing. Jack used his powers to short out something while sending Sam, Dean and Castiel flying, knocking them nearly out. She was the only one standing when the sparks flew at the same time Gabriel came in. He shouted at Jack not to go and started towards him. Her instinct was parental and she grabbed him and held him to her body as another set of sparks occurred before Jack was gone.

The only sound that occurred was the sound of Jess bawling at the top of her lungs. Angela checked to make sure Gabriel was okay before going to soothe the baby whose face was red from crying. She put the baby up to her shoulder and came back with the urge to check on Gabriel who was standing where Jack was last seen and looking around, distress. He looked at her and asked, "Why did he go, Cat? Why?"

She could answer that question and she couldn't. In fact, the whole thing seemed to put her into a state of shock. She managed to do what she usually did and that was taking care of the bunker, Gabriel, who was actually sobbing and moping and the baby who was still sniveling. Everything seemed to go into a tailspin and she was trying to stay afloat but she was not in a good place herself. Now she was sitting and…

"Hey."

Angela looked up to see Sam walking in, looking like he wasn't sure if she was going to throw a book at him either with her hand or her abilities. He eyes watered slightly but she forced the tears back as she replied in their usual fashion, "Hey yourself."

Sam studied the love of his life as she sat in the rocking chair that Castiel had gotten as a baby gift, rocking and knitting. He glanced over at the crib and made a gesture and asked softly, "Jess, doing okay?"

Angela looked over at the crib and replied just as softly, "She's asleep. The crying wore her out. Poor thing."

Sam watched as Angela's expression shifted into that sad look she used to get when Castiel seemed to have melted into the reservoir and the whole thing with the Leviathans. He offered, "I guess she uh… really likes Jack."

"Probably to the point of a bond and coupled with the fact that she picked up on pain, fear, anger, sorrow…" Angela turned to look at Sam. She blinked as she studied him before asking, "And Gabe?"

"Behaving like a teenager," Sam replied with a slight frown. He thought it was weird and he went with it but it still was strange to think about an angel being a teenager. "He stopped crying and is asleep now. He asked why Jack left."

"I've been asking that myself." Angela shifted and adjusted the project that was on her knees. She picked up the needles and looked at her project as she clicked the tips of the needles together. "I know what happened but… is it possibly my fault?"

Sam frowned at that, "No. Why would you think that?"

"While you two were gone, I started teaching him things. More practical things. Sherlock did the book learning and Gabe was just happy to have a partner in crime. I think I messed up on a few things."

Sam pulled up a chair to sit next to her. "I highly doubt that." He reached over and took her hand gently, forcing her to lay whatever she was doing in her lap. "Jack… he responded to you more than anyone. You showed that you weren't afraid of him. You were like… a mother…"

Angela made a slight snort, "Not good enough. I didn't even teach him about mistakes and what he's going through."

It had been a long time since she had degraded herself like this. Sam knew that the whole thing affected her more than she had shown but she was being like she always was. And that was the one wearing the brave mask for everyone's sake. Taking a soft breath, he leaned in and pressed his forehead against hers and gave a slight rub. "You are a good friend, teacher, partner, mother… all the things I know and love about you. And Jack knows it too."

Angela sighed when Sam rubbed his head gently against hers. It looked childish but held a lot of comfort and was a nonverbal sign of affection that her full blooded kind used. Over the years since she and Sam got together, he had become comfortable with those nonverbal cues. He was less shy about being affectionate when in front of Dean and he had the alpha dominance down like a pro. That was from way before they mated. In any case, Sam liked using nonverbal cues with her and they held a lot more meaning when he added his own touches to them. Like the tip of his nose barely touching her cheek. It was so feathery light.

Feeling comforted, she voiced, "I ask myself why he left and… I figured out a few things."

Sam finished and sat back to let her talk. He knew well enough she could get distracted if he kept it up and nothing turned her on more than when he got aggressive and predatory. He studied her and asked, "What did you figure out?"

"That I know what he's feeling and what he did… I did the same thing."

Sam swallowed slightly. He knew she was going to talk about her past and it was obvious that it was a more painful part. She knew that he would respect if she didn't want to tell him anything and he wasn't one to pester her unless it was something that would affect their family. "When?"

"When I first killed an innocent… after my father." Angela cleared her throat and looked away. "It was an accident but it didn't feel like it. And it didn't help that there were others who were quick to judge."

Sam swallowed, his throat convulsing with the desire to protect her even though he knew he couldn't. That was the problem with memories. Unless you took them away, you couldn't do much, but he could listen. "What happened?"

Angela gave a smile at Sam and gently squeezed his hand, "It was one of those times where you try to stay out of history but kind of hard not to considering it was the Irish Rebellion of 1641."

"The Irish Rebellion?"

"Aye," Angela replied automatically using the colonial expression. "History calls it the failure of the English to assimilate the native Irish elite. And funnily enough history repeats itself a century or so later. Anyway, at the same time the monsters were trying to take advantage of the fact that people were having wars over religious beliefs… again. I was tracking down a demon and wandered into the conflict and ended up with a tagalong."

"Another one of your strays?"

"No. Just someone who was idealistic and wanting a better future." Angela gave a wry smile before snort slightly and adding, "And it wasn't even a demon but the conflict that killed him." She looked at Sam and said pointedly, "I wasn't on anyone's side and I have the Irish elite on one side and the English state on the other and both demanding if we were friend or foe since I didn't have an accent to either and with my tagalong, he was damned on principle."

"So what happened?"

"I tried to get us out of it and I ended up using my abilities. Didn't go so well." Angela sighed as she put her hands in her laps and thought for a moment before continuing, "We got separated and the English killed him because he was Irish. They killed him but my foolishness led to it and he died. He died and it… pissed me off."

Sam watched as she looked at him with a look. He knew right away what she did then. "I'm sorry," he offered. "I suppose that was what…"

"Oh yeah. And the Centurion were not happy."

"Well they are dicks."

Angela snorted in laughter, "Yeah well the point is that I did get someone killed and there were others by my own hand. That just stuck with me because we were minding our own business and I did end up killing humans with my abilities. You can probably ask Sherlock and he'll have something about that from a survivor."

Sam studied her thoughtfully. He knew she killed people but it was always for a good reason. Actual humans usually ended up being witches doing evil or she administered justice for those that truly deserved it like when she took care of a couple of child molesters when she trekked it home on foot after getting out of the cage. Not to mention the would be rapist that thought that she was an easy target when she tracked him down to the cabin after Purgatory. This was retaliation killing and while he could point out she did the same with the demons, he couldn't.

"You know I've killed people, actual human," Angela said softly. "I even killed a few of the renegades. So I get what Jack is feeling. I just…"

"You're sad because he left," Sam finished as he reached out to caress her cheek.

"He asked to call me mother. Surprised me at first but I let him."

"Well you were mother to a half god and an angel resurrected and now you're mother to the most beautiful baby girl. It's you."

Angela smiled at Sam's declaration. He always thought the best of her even when they had their disagreements. It wasn't just love that said it but honest evaluation and it had been since the beginning before they realized their feelings. She replied with a smile, "Flatterer."

Sam smiled back, "Honest truth."

It grew quiet as Angela picked up her knitting and put it away. Sam watched her. He noticed she had started it when Jack entered into their lives and she had worked on it every night. She had done the same for Jess before she was born and figured it was her way of showing acceptance of the situation and of Jack in particular. He didn't forget that she had marked Jack and didn't doubt it was similar to what Gabriel and Castiel did to her, especially after she said what she did at the tattoo parlor.

Jack leaving them hit them all hard. He was growing on Dean and Sam saw him as a scared kid that needed a port in the storm. Angela was like a mother to him and Sam got that. It was similar to when they had to say good bye to Hibah when they returned her to her real mother. It only showed that she cared but it did hurt her. He could tell even when she put on the brave face to get through the day and he could tell that this affected her and she had come to think of Jack as one of her own. Forget the other stuff, to her Jack was family.

A sound distracted Sam and he looked up to see that Angela had gone over to Jess' crib to look in on her. He got up from his chair and joined her, wrapping his arms around her from behind. In a low whisper he said, "It'll be okay, Angie. We'll find him."

"I know."


A/N: Angie tries to understand and cope with Jack leaving them. Having a hug from Sam helps. Tag to Tombstone.