A/N: Sorry if this chapter is a little bit shorter than the others. Just couldn't think of anything to add into this specific chapter, but no worries there is still more to come. I hope you enjoy this chapter and stay on the ride. Cause shit is getting bumpy.
Stan's POV:
I run into my room, slamming and locking the door behind me. Leaning against the door, I try to catch my breath as I start to internally breakdown. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK! Why is he here! Why!? Sliding down the door I already knew I was crying as I grab chunks of hair. I just can't believe he's back...after ten years of not seeing him, he's back...Back to torment me. Back to make my life a living hell. God dammit! I just know what's going to happen just from seeing him. He had that smirk I have always despised. That smirk that would always haunt me in my dreams. That smirk that I've been trying to throw away, but never can. I pull my knees to my chest and start to sob, just wishing and hoping he would go away. Or even better if I went away so I wouldn't have to deal with him or anything anymore. I don't understand why he's here with my sister. Does she know what he's done to me? Does she not fucking know how this man ruined my childhood? All the things he did to me that sicken me to this day. He's a disgusting human being that took a child's...a child's innocence. A child's strength. Even a child's fucking mind. He took everything from me that I can't take back to this day...He's a monster, a monster that fed off of my soul, burning me and eating me alive. And he's back to take more. I can't even imagine what he has in store for me this time. What he plans to do with me and ruin me more...I just can't even think of anything else he plans on taking from me this time...I regret ever giving this man the trust of a child, of me to even take advantage and just snatch away my purity at the age of eight. Only an eight year old child...that felt disgusted and violated by an older male...A young child that couldn't even fight back...Yet here he is. Downstairs talking to my mother along side my sister. Acting as if nothing ever happened. Like he committed no wrong. I hate him...
My mind refused to stop racing at this point. All these thoughts and images flashing through my mind on replay. I can't stop it, it won't stop. Yanking at my hair I don't know what to do to make this all stop! But, there is only one thing that came to mind. One of the only things I've been able to rely on ever since day one. The thing that would always give me comfort in my times of need. The one thing I know hasn't failed me yet. My fingers starting to twitch and on cue my veins were pulsing, yearning me to do what I felt would help. I want to do it...no I need to do it. But...I couldn't move, no matter how much I wanted to. I couldn't. I was scared stiff. I wanted to run into my bathroom and just end it all. But I couldn't. I couldn't even calm my shaking body to even move towards the bathroom to grab my stash. I couldn't. I was too scared. Scared to what would happen. Scared to even try to move away from the door and him just busting in and...and...Fuck...Why can't I move! Why can't I calm my body down enough for me to grab my blade! Why can't I just do something other than sit here and cry…
Why am I so weak...I feel like I'm drowning. Drowning in a sea of my emotions. Struggling for air, I can feel my breaths become shorter and shorter as I try to keep a steady breathing pattern. But was failing. Slowly I feel my vision blurring as I start to lose consciousness. I've drowned and no one is here to save me. Then everything turns black and I pass out on my floor. With only a small word to echo through my silent room.
"Help"
Kenny's POV:
God I swear Craig can be pretty fucking stupid at times. He may act like a smartass, but let's face it, if he never really knew his own damn feelings-he sounds like an utter dumbass to me. And to think the guy didn't even know this about himself for years and after him telling me a couple of sentences I already knew what was really is going on. Lucky for him I was able to knock some sense into his thick skull, especially for Stan's sake. I would do anything to protect and help that boy, even if I have to risk my life to save him. I would. I've been through the thick and thin with him. We know almost everything about each other, I mean I know there are still things he hasn't told me. But I'm not going to force it out of him like I almost had to with Craig. Some things are hard to tell others, even your best friend which is why I completely understand. I just hope he doesn't do anything stupid and well if he does, he'll always have me to lean on. Not once have I ever found him a burden or even a problem like he thinks he is. If anything I'm glad I'm able to be there with him through his rough times, as weird as it sounds. It's probably cause I know I'm able to be by his side through the rough times. I wouldn't ever turn my back to him unless he needs something to lean on. I'll always be there for Stan. He and Karen are the reason why I keep fighting, along with Butters of course. I just hope he won't ever forgot it cause I am a hard kid to get rid of once I start caring. And for Stan I won't ever stop caring, even if it kills me.
I glance up at the sky and smile. Life is like the universe if you think about it, it's always filled with wonders waiting to be discovered. Just needs a little push to start moving forward.
Craig's POV:
I didn't know what to think anymore. With all the things Kenny has told me still running through my mind. Was everything he told me true? About Marsh crying and everything I didn't know about myself as well? I know for a fact I'm not ready to see Marsh yet. I know that much, but the fact that I might've always liked him for so long still leaves me questioning. When did it ever really start? Did I really just hate him cause I liked him? And have I always hide my emotions for him? Even these emotions from myself since I didn't know how to handle liking him? So many things still didn't make sense to me, but for some reason I don't know if anything ever made sense. Why would I even do this to begin with? Have I always made up reasons to dislike him and continue to make up reasons to why I should dislike him instead? For a fact I really need to figure this all out. Yet for some reason I'm still in disbelief. Maybe I really don't know myself. I know I'm an asshole and don't really care what other people think of me, but maybe all along I cared for Marsh and what he thought of me. Maybe the reason why I was so harsh to him to begin with was to try to get him to hate me all this time. And then the fact that Kenny also mentioned that Stan had cried and was blaming himself because of my reaction to the kiss. I feel like shit just knowing that. Knowing that I caused him to cry cause I didn't know how to react. I mean I might've made him cry a lot of other times, but this just makes my heart sink to an endless abyss. Now just thinking back to all of those times I might've made him cry by harassing him and just being an utter dick to him just makes me sick. Why couldn't I accept it before. Why did I have to lie to myself and keep lying to myself to hate him. I mean yeah I did dislike him for a long while, but when did that turn to love? Why did I not realize it on my own instead of having an outsider tell me otherwise. Why have I been an idiot all this fucking time. I should have accepted liking him instead and showed him I cared. And now that I think about it, did my eyes always search for him to find him instead of to avoid him? Was the only reason I called him names was cause I didn't want to admit I found him cute? Fuck why have I've been so stupid! I wish I knew sooner. I wish I never hurt him...He's probably has been hurting for so long...and it's because of me. The real reason why I would get mad at anyone for being mean or harsh to him wasn't cause I wanted to be the only one doing it, but rather me wanting to protect him from others. But the one who's been hurting him all along was me. And only me. God I'm such a douchebag. Even to the only guy I've probably ever really cared for. The one who would always catch my eyes from across the room. The one that I had an amazing fucking date with. The same guy I tutor after Red Racer ends. The only guy I know that completely put up with all my bullshit and harshness for years and still kept smile on his face...
I know what I have to do. Tomorrow I'm going straight to Marsh's house and telling him I never hated him and that I'm sorry for ever being an asshole to him to begin with. That I didn't hate the kiss and was too stupid to ever realize my true feelings for him. The fact that I love him. I love Stan Marsh. And I wanted him to be mine and only mine.
