Happy Birthday, Leonhard (24.4.19)

Firelight, starlight. Quiet flames splashing the walls of a palace sitting room.

'What do you want for your birthday, Leonhard?'

Heine looked up from a week's worth of lessons to see Prince Bruno holding a leather-bound yearly planner in one hand and a pencil in the other. Micro-managing as usual, I see…

Leonhard and Licht were curled up on the other side of the room, and it was a close draw between which of them was closer to falling asleep.

Leonhard opened one eye. 'What?'

'Birthday, Leo,' Licht murmured, sitting up a little. 'Wake up.'

'I'm awake — wait, why are you braiding my hair?'

'Because I'm bored?' Licht prised a hairpin open with his teeth and fastened the braid in place. 'Stay still.'

Leonhard shook his head slightly, and pursed his lips. 'Hm…' His expression went completely blank. 'What did you all give me last year?'

Bruno pushed up his glasses with a weary grimace. 'Truth be told, I barely remember either…'

Heine looked up again. What does one buy for a prince who has everything, anyway?

'…Cake,' Kai said.

Leonhard nearly jumped out of his seat, and said, 'Ooh, I know! Zachertorte!'

'My word.' Bruno sighed, but he couldn't help but give Leonhard an affectionate grin. 'Now that I think of it, you ask for the same thing every year!'

'Because I want the same thing every year!'

'Come onnn, Leo.' Licht gestured dramatically and nearly took Leonhard's eye out with a jewelled comb. 'Get creative!'

'Hmm.' Leonhard bit his lip, thinking. 'Zachertorte… A world of Zachertorte… There you go, a room full of Zachertorte.' His eyes sparkled in shades of dreamy blue pastels, then he laughed and flicked Licht's hand away. 'Are you done?'

Licht chuckled. 'Eh, I guess.'

Leonhard's eyes flickered, and within a moment, he'd fallen asleep on Licht's shoulder.

Licht carefully held up three fingers. 'Three… Two… One… And… he's gone.'

Heine raised an eyebrow. 'Are you quite certain?'

'Oh yeah, totally. He crashes instantly every single time he closes his eyes, without fail. Feel free to call in a mariachi band or a firing squad for a twenty-one gun salute if you wanna test my theory.'

'I will take your word for it, thank you.' Heine paused, and tipped his head to the side. 'Well. How do we propose to pull that off, then?'

'Pull what off, Master?'

'A world full of Zachertorte. It sounds like a rather arduous undertaking.'

Kai blinked. Bruno dropped his planner. And Licht's comb fell out of his fingers.

'U-Uh, Teach, I think he was kidding.' Licht looked as though he didn't know whether to laugh or stare. 'Right?'

Heine shook his head. 'On the contrary, I think he was quite serious. You asked him to get creative and he did. You only have one birthday a year after all, and isn't it the least we can do to give fulfilling his wish a go?' He gave the princes an unimpressed look. 'And I thought the royal palace had the resources to pull off… such theatrical stunts. What was it that you heralded my arrival at the palace with, pray tell? Wind effects, lights and… doves, was it?'

'Well.' Licht shrugged, saying. 'You have a point.'

Bruno glanced down at his planner again. 'Hm. The palace certainly does have the budget and the capacity to do something along those lines, yes.' A slightly ill expression crept onto his face. 'But this would be quite… ridiculous.'

Kai put a hand on Bruno's shoulder. 'But it would make him happy… Isn't that more important?'

Bruno started, then stopped. 'You're right, Kai. And besides, as Master said: It's a simple wish, and if that's what he's wishing for for his birthday, then who are we to ignore it?'

'Great! Now—what the h_ does a world of Zachertorte look like?' Licht deadpanned.

The three princes and the tutor were stumped for a moment. Then Bruno said, 'Did he not also say, "a room full of Zachertorte"? Couldn't we simply fill a room with some Zachertorten?'

'Brunie, that is a lot of cake and kiiind of an easy way out, yeah?'

Kai considered. 'Build… out of Zachertorte? A room?'

'Kai, please try not to use so many sentence fragments. At least not with other people who aren't as well-versed in your speech patterns as we are.' Bruno sketched something out in his planner and said, 'To build a room out of Zachertorte, Kai? Similar to stacking cakes on top of each other?'

'Mm.'

Licht grimaced. 'That sounds like playing fort with pillows, and that's not really the look we're going for.' He scuffed a heel against the sofa. '"To build a room out of Zachertorte"…'

Heine put up a hand. 'I have an idea…'

'Fantastic, because we're running out.'

'…But it may be somewhat difficult to accomplish. We'll need a construction foreman; a dessert artisan, and a horrifyingly large amount of ingredients. Ah, and I'll need to ask your father if he'll mind us installing new chandeliers.'

'WHAT?!'


'Keep your eyes closed, yeah?'

'I'm blindfolded.'

Heine stayed well out of the way — in case the prince decided to take out half their party in a sudden, unpredictable move — but Prince Leonhard kept walking down the hall until Prince Licht pulled him to a halt.

'Okay, you'll need to step lightly now... Forward a little—no, back it up, and to the right a bit… no sorry, your right… okay, too far, to the left—'

'Licht…' Leonhard growled.

'Ah, whatever.' And Licht pulled the blindfold off.

The fourth prince looked like he'd just fallen down a rabbit hole and ended up in wonderland.

The floor had transformed from marble to parquet, with white and dark chocolate tiles meshing in a geometric pattern that covered the entire floor. Candied flowers dusted with shimmering orange powder bloomed from tempered-chocolate vases. Five chairs with seat cushions made of chocolate cake were arranged in a ring, surrounding a chocolate table inlaid with a transparent top made of crystallised sugar. The table was scattered with a selection of Zachertorten, as well as tableware crafted from sugar and chocolate. And overhead was the most dramatic touch — chandeliers made of crystallised apricot gel and whipped cream candles with tiny chocolate wicks.

Leonhard turned around and snatched the blindfold out of Licht's hand, saying, 'What did this thing do to my eyes?!'

Bruno coughed behind a gloved hand in an attempt to not laugh. 'No, Leonhard, your eyes are fine.'

'Oh. Then I must be sleepwalking. '

Kai shook his head. 'Not dreaming…'

'Maybe I'm hallucinating?' Leonhard muttered, looking around. 'This is a really elaborate hallucination—'

'Leo?' Licht snapped off a chocolate tile from the flooring and popped it in Leonhard's mouth before the prince could even argue. 'Tell me if you're still hallucinating now.'

Leonhard blinked. Then turned back to the sugary tableau in total shock. 'W… W-W… WHAT?!'

'There we go,' Licht said dryly. 'Third time's the charm.'

Heine glanced at the floor with some skepticism, saying, 'Pray tell, has anyone walked on that section yet?'

'Let's hope not…'

Leonhard was still rooted to the spot, and he finally stammered out, 'What the even is this?'

'An oversized birthday present and a diabetes-inducing piece of theatre,' Licht said, bowing elaborately. Then he flicked his golden hair over his shoulder and winked. 'A "sweet" surprise, if I do say so myself—bad pun intended. Happy birthday, Leonie.'

Leonhard blinked. 'Happy—Wait, what?'

'It's your birthday, you silly thing?' Licht chided. 'What, did you think we'd forgotten?'

'Well, no — I forgot, because someone blindfolded me and…' He trailed off, and glanced over his shoulder. 'Is this really for me?'

'You told us what you wanted for your birthday, didn't you, Leonhard?' Bruno prompted. '"A world full of Zachertorte"?'

Leonhard's face went blank. '…I have absolutely no recollection of that.'

'Probably because you were half asleep…'

'Wait,' Licht said. 'Does that mean we went to all that effort when that was something he basically said that in his sleep?'

'Oh—'

Leonhard suddenly darted off, dashing around the room in a quick circuit. And it must have suddenly clicked that he wasn't hallucinating after all, because his smile was so bright that it was nearly blinding.

'Heh, whatever. Look at him,' Licht said fondly. 'He looks like a kid in a dozen candy stores.'

'It is not physically possible for someone to be in a dozen candy stores at once, Licht, but it's a relevant comparison nonetheless.'

'Looks happy…' Kai paused. 'Expensive…'

'That reminds me,' Heine said. 'Who is paying for this little venture? I lost track of who was managing our finances.'

The other three princes glanced at each other.

'Uh.'

'Um.'

'Licht…?'

'I may have, kind of, uh… put it on Dad's credit tab?'

A beat of silence.

'LICHT!'

'WHAT?! He's always telling us that if we need to buy anything then to just "put it on his tab," right?!'

'I think he was referring to books or a new pair of shoes — not an entire edible art installation—'

'Brothers?'

They turned mid-spat to see Prince Leonhard, eyes sparkling and nearly jumping out of his shoes in his excitement. Then he crash-tackled the three other princes in a hug, and Heine could hear, 'Thank you, thank you, thank you!' under the sound of cracking chocolate tiles and startled yelps.

They finally disentangled themselves. 'Calm down, you,' Bruno said affectionately.

'But whose idea was it?' Leonhard asked. He grinned, 'Let me guess: It was dearest brother Bruno, ever the genius!'

'I regret to inform you that I didn't come up with this one, Leonhard,' Bruno said with a smile.

'Oh. Licht, then?'

'Sorry, Leo — I'm into coffee, not cakes!'

'Uh…' Leonhard was looking a little confused now. 'Kai…?'

Kai shook his head. 'Uh-uh.'

'What?'

Heine raised a hand slightly. 'It was my idea, Highness.'

Leonhard looked as though he'd stepped in wet paint. 'What?' He crossed his arms and glared, saying, 'There's no way you could have come up with something so… cool…' After a lengthy silence, he finally said, '…It's not bad. Considering it's Heine's idea.'

'Now now,' Licht chided. 'He came up with this whole thing, so the least you can do is talk about him in the second person rather than the third.'

'Hmph…' Leonhard gritted his teeth. And blushed slightly. 'Thanks. It's… pretty cool.'

Heine bowed slightly, and said, 'You're welcome, Highness. Now that you've finished subjecting yourself to verbal torture, would we all care to take tea?'

The four princes took their seats at the table, then caught Heine by the hands. 'What, did we think we'd let you run off?' Licht teased. 'Why do you think we've got an extra chair?

'Join us, won't you, Master?' Bruno asked.

'Mm…'

Heine blinked. Then glanced at Leonhard. 'Well, it is Prince Leonhard's birthday tea, after all. It's his prerogative to choose who he invites—'

And Leonhard pulled Heine down onto the chair. 'Just sit down already,' he grumbled, then brightened up instantly at the sight of all the sugar and chocolate on the table. 'Is this really all… eatable?'

'Edible,' Bruno corrected. He was right, Heine knew, as even the chairs they were sitting on were able to be eaten. 'And don't make yourself sick, please.'

'You underestimate me, dearest brother!'

'I don't know whether that's meant to inspire confidence or not—'

The doors slammed open and someone yelled, 'Wait, don't—!'

They froze. And Herr Niche, the court painter, sighed and collapsed against the doorframe. 'Ugh. I knew we should have put up signs…'

'What's that freak-job doing here?' Leonhard whispered.

'We needed an artistic consultant,' Licht whispered back. 'Heine came up with the idea, but we needed someone who could draw up the designs, blueprint it, and coordinate the dessert artisans we picked from the royal warrant list. And, uh… Heine's a smart little thing, but we all know he can't draw to save his life.'

'Oh, right.'

'Don't call me little,' Heine said under his breath.

Herr Niche finally pulled himself together, and said, 'My darlings. Just because it is all edible does not mean it is all functional?'

'Er… Would you care to explain?'

Niche grumbled in Netherlanden, then said, 'Pray tell, would you brew tea in a chocolate teapot?'

Leonhard's brow creased. 'Sure. Why not?'

'It would melt!' Bruno hissed. He cleared his throat and said, 'No, Herr Niche, one would not.'

'Exactly.' Niche pointed and said, 'And would one sit on chairs with cushions that are literally made of chocolate cake and glued in place with chocolate cream, pray tell?'

The five of them froze. Then risked glancing down.

'Uh… oh dear,' Licht finally said.

'"Oh dear"?! That is more than "oh dear"—this more like total and utter calamity!' Herr Niche snapped, gesturing so wildly that he nearly set a chandelier swinging. 'At best you could have covered the chairs with cloths first, yes — but those chairs were designed for artistic purposes, not for the placement of your koninklijike kleine kont! Vloek het—' he turned away and hammered a fist on the doorframe with frustration, '—the things I put up with!'

Kai gingerly poked his seat cushion. 'Soft?' Then he froze. 'Oh. Sticky. Help…'

'Are you quite serious, brother?!' Bruno snapped, then winced. 'Ugh. This is a less than desirable outcome…'

'Well—Hey, Teach, are you all right?!'

Heine opened one eye and said wearily, 'Just fine, Prince Licht. Just trying to pretend as though this isn't happening.'

Licht grimaced, then realised that even his hair was becoming chocolate-streaked, and he hastily tied it up into a knot. 'And I'm trying to work out if I can charge our dry-cleaning bill to Dad's tab before he blacklists us from using his accounts, but—'

'Oh, come on.' They turned to Prince Leonhard, who gestured idly with a forkful of cake and a smile. 'Worry about it later, okay?'

A silence, then embarrassed laughter and smiles.

'I suppose we may as well,' Bruno said. 'Delaying the inevitable, yes?'

'Mm. Soft. Sticky, but soft.'

'Yeahhh, why deal with today's crisis when you can deal with it tomorrow? And we have a cartload of these uniforms in our wardrobes anyway—'

'That is beside the point!'

'And irrelevant to me, as I only have one uniform and am very much regretting not thinking through the logistics of this prior to the occasion…' Heine grumbled.

'Oh, cheer up,' Leonhard said pointedly. From the way that the prince's eyes were sparkling, he must have been on a sugar high. 'You can't be unhappy while eating cake, right?'

'…True, Highness. True.'

The End


A/N: A belated happy birthday to Leonhard, and thanks to Karla Cipher for coming up with the world-full-of-zachertorte idea when I was complaining that 'zachertorte' was not a plot in and of itself. And don't worry, Licht, I'll get to you soon so just be patient…

Also, my darlings (which generally means those of you who read my Royal Tutor stuff for whatever reason)... if you'd like to check out the next chapter of this story when I post it, because I'll be including a status update of sorts on my writing. Okay, I'm out of here!