Chapter 7: Won't Hold Back
A/N: I'm so sorry guys but life has been kicking my butt! Between work and barely sleeping, I've rarely had time to write so I apologize for these super long breaks between updates. I promise to try and get better. I'm going to also have to apologize for the length of this chapter. I give you guys all permission to beat me up for it, but that's just how it turned out. On a brighter note, I'd like to thank everyone for all the reviews and the lovely feedback. I'm SO glad you guys are liking this story, that originally started as just a one-shot but grew. Only a few more chapters left to go!
As usual, please ignore the grammatical/spelling errors as I do not have a beta and I'm too lazy to re-read my own writing.
The experience had been everything she imagined. Rachel and Kurt explored the entirety of what New York could offer in one weekend and they had enjoyed every single moment of it. It seemed as though their fathers had planned an action planned visit since they never found a second to rest. They were either on the subway rushing between locations, spending their money shopping as if there was no limit or observing its attractions in awe. With every jaw-dropping moment, Rachel found herself falling in love more and more with the city. By the time she was on the train, exhausted and prepared to return home, Rachel had made up her mind. New York was where she was meant to be and the trip had definitely reinforced it.
However now, she couldn't see herself there all alone. After every twist and turn through her journey in New York, Rachel continuously made mental notes of moments she couldn't wait to share with Finn when she returned home. He had been on her mind the entire time, no matter what she was doing. Rachel could easily picture the wide grin on his handsome face as he would listen to her stories intently; his eyes beaming with interest. Yes, she was able to survive a period of time without him but she had kept him in her thoughts. However, Rachel wasn't sure if she would be able to withstand being apart for four years, only visiting each other at times. She wanted him there with her; holding her at night when she'd have a rough night at school and supporting her as she lived her dreams.
Rachel wanted Finn to be with her in New York. She wanted to be with the man that she loved in the city that she loved.
Though her thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the feel of her phone vibrating ferociously in her short pocket. Lifting her head up from Kurt's shoulder - her pillow for the trip - Rachel reached gently to pull out the device.
Her face lit up when her screen read: Message from - Finn .3 (Yes the heart at the end of his name was corny but the couple had chuckled about it as they changed their names on one anothers phones for fun.)
F: Hey babe, are you on your way back? I miss you.
A bright smile took over her face, as she typed out a response. His short message had been so simple yet so endearing. There was no doubt in her mind that their feelings were mutual with the amount they missed each other.
R: I'm on the train now. I'll be home soon. Hangout? xo
As she was now used to, it only took him mere minutes to reply.
F: I can't tonight - Puck declared bro weekend isn't over until midnight :( - but how does Tuesday sound for you? I could pick you up at the pool. Maybe a swim? I miss that bathing suit of yours ;)
Rachel couldn't help the loud chuckle that escaped her lips - waking up Kurt - at his comment. It was only a matter of time before something sexual would appear in their texts after all the cutesy ones she had received that weekend.
R: Just for you ;) Sounds good to me.
Her smile spreading from one ear to the other as she waited for a reply, Rachel didn't realize that Kurt was reading her messages.
"Sexting the boyfriend?" calmly pointed out Kurt, a sly smirk appearing.
Shocked and embarrassed, Rachel quickly put away her phone as her cheeks reddened. She hadn't intended anyone to see their interaction, even though it was quite innocent if you thought about what they could be saying.
"Ever heard of a thing called privacy?" retorted Rachel, crossing her arms over her chest with a pout once her phone was put away.
"Well I'm not sure. Is there something I shouldn't be seeing in those texts?" coyly replied Kurt, raising an eyebrow at the brunette.
He had her.
"Nope, all innocent," she promised him.
"Yeah, sure," he rolled his eyes, before turning his attention to the view outside his window.
She knew that Kurt didn't really care about the messages but was just trying to tease her - she had basically given him a pass to do so when he gave her the thumbs up. But now with his head turned, Rachel returned her attention back to her cellphone.
F: Can Tuesday come any faster?
He had no idea how badly she wished for the same thing.
0-0
She was wearing her tiny little black bikini underneath her sundress, just as she had promised him. It was finally Tuesday and Rachel couldn't wait to re-unite with the man who never left her thoughts. They had continuously texted back and forth during their time apart, just building the anticipation for the reunion. By this time, Rachel couldn't wait for the moment when she'd see his beautiful hazel eyes once more and be able to run towards him finally having his large strong arms wrapped around her petite figure once again. She sighed to herself as she thought about how much she missed him though it only had been a few days. How was she going to manage New York when her heart was so clearly in his hands?
Her heart nearly skipped a beat when she saw him standing at the gate, a big goofy grin on his face.
Rachel had never thought that she could run that fast or jump that high, but within seconds she was on him. Her legs wrapped around his waist as she collided her own lips with his, tasting him feverishly. Finn eagerly returned her kisses, while effortlessly walking them over to the bubbling hot tub. They kissed until they were breathless, causing them to eventually separate for some air. The couple stared into each other's eyes during this moment, both glowing with happiness.
It felt so good to be together once more.
Remembering that her dress was still in place, Rachel motioned for Finn to get into the water so she could remove it without giving him the temptation to do it himself. Rachel almost began chuckling as she watched Finn's eyes widened as she slowly lifted up the fabric, revealing her tanned body and his favourite swimsuit. As awful as it was, Rachel loved the feeling of power she gained when she teased him like this. He looked like he had basically stopped breathing, making him putty in her hands.
God, she missed him.
Once it was off and on the ground, Finn practically pulled her into hot tub.
Instantly, Rachel straddled his lap, returning her lips to his. Their kisses now more passionate and lingering as their sense of urgency and touch faded and a need to express how much they had really missed one another, began appearing. Their bodies were pressed tightly together, her arms wrapped around his neck, as their tongues explored. Shivers flew through her spine at the intimacy she felt between them with every new sweep of the tongue or hand movement.
Rachel could feel herself getting overheated not sure if it was from the water or from the sensuality, but with sweat beginning to to form, she decided to cool down. Reluctantly, she pulled away from him watching as his eyes went from confusion to sadness at the lack of touch.
"It's boiling in here," she commented, smiling at him in hopes that he'd mimic hers.
"Well they call it a hot tub for a reason babe," teased Finn, extending his arms along the ledge as Rachel climbed off of his body and sat across from him.
"I know but still," whined Rachel, fanning her face in attempt to cool herself down, shooting him a playful pout.
Finn simply smiled at her, creating a short silence before replying, "I missed you."
"I missed you too. The trip was amazing but it would have been so much better with you there," she beamed, her face lighting up as she thought about New York.
"Oh yeah?" inquired Finn, raising an eyebrow up at her.
"Of course! You would have loved it. We were running all over the place going from attraction to attraction, in awe of how beautiful it all is. I can't believe I'm going to be living there in less than two weeks," she continued, her smile still spread from ear to ear.
Though she expected an enthusiastic response from him, Rachel watched as Finn just mumbled in agreement, his eyes lowering as a deep frown settled onto his usually beaming face.
"What's wrong?" asked Rachel, her eyebrows scrunching up in worry and confusion. She thought he'd be happy to hear about her trip, since he had always supported her in the past.
"It's just...you talk about you leaving like it's the best thing in the world, and like I get that New York is you and stuff but it kinda feels like you don't care about the fact that you're leaving me," hesitantly answered Finn, his eyes dropped down as he watched the water, not daring to see the expression of heartbreak on her face.
Rachel went quiet and took in everything he had just said to her. Did he really feel that way because that's not what she wanted at all? She wanted him with her. She wanted to experience New York with him. Nothing in the world would make her happier.
"Finn...that's not true," she choked out, holding back the sudden sobs that appeared, "I don't want to leave you. I'm not excited to leave you. I...just...performing is my passion. I need the stage. I need New York. I'm just happy to finally get one step closer. Can't you understand that?"
"Of course I understand, Rach" exclaimed Finn, completely offended by her statement, "I support you on your decisions. I want you to be happy. I just wish your happiness didn't include leaving...me"
His face dropped once more; both their hearts aching as they thought about the future.
She didn't want to be apart from Finn. If only there was a way they could stay together. If only she could convince him to come to New York with her. If he really cared for her...even loved her...maybe he'd consider moving there.
"Why don't you come with me then? We can live in a little apartment together; spending the days at school and the nights with one another. It'd be perfect," she stated, her tone layered with hope.
"So you want me to just drop everything and follow you to New York?" practically growled Finn, his dimples far from apparent, "What do you expect me to do there? Live on your coattails while working any job I can find to support us?"
Their conversation was going south, very quickly. Rachel definitely did not like this angry tone clear in his voice. She had to change the direction it was headed in before this argument? got worse.
"No! Of course not! You could transfer to a school in the city and finish your degree there! You could still be a teacher, Finn. This could work,"she pleaded, moving towards him in attempt to close the distance and calm him with her touch.
"It's too late for that. I'm set to go for school. I can't do that. I'd have to drop out of school and take some time off, depending on the transfer process, before I could apply for NYU. Nothing is that simply," sighed Finn, his head shaking in disapproval.
"Oh well...it's just a year! You can work and get us some money and then re-apply. We could do this, Finn. I know we can," sternly said Rachel, completely sure of herself and her future plans with Finn.
Suddenly, the tall man got up from the hot tub and began trudging out. When his body was out of the hot water, he turned to face her.
"Can you stop thinking about yourself for a second and what fits your future the best? I'm not dropping my life for you Rachel," he growled at her, his face blank of any emotions.
Without allowing her to reply, Finn turned his body and began heading for the pool gates, leaving Rachel sitting there in shock. Everything had occurred so quickly, not even giving her the opportunity to process anything. What was happening? What was Finn trying to say?
"So...what does this mean?" hesitantly asked Rachel calling after him; tears now beginning to fall.
He stopped in his tracks and turned to face her once more, looking her right in the eye. His own were glistening; his own tears forming.
"Rachel, I love you," choked out Finn, "but I can't put my life on hold for you."
Her big brown eyes widened in shock, while her heart melted. Did she hear that right?
"You.. you love me?" she mumbled out, taking a few steps towards him.
Rachel had been waiting for this day for so long; anxiously hoping that one day, he would utter those words and make her the happiest girl in the world - his love for her finally proclaimed.
His face instantly softened, as he let out a light chuckle, "Of course I do Rachel. I've been falling in love with you since the moment you decided to barge into the break room - you were just about the most beautiful yet adorable girl I had ever seen." Finn now carried a smile that could shined brighter than the lights on the pool deck, as his mind flickered to that image he had saved in his mind. Though it suddenly disappeared when he asked her, "Don't you love me?
She took a few more steps to close the gap between them; their bodies were now pressed together as her arms wrapped around his waist and she looked up at his beautiful hazel eyes, her own smile glowing.
"I've never loved a boy more in my life," she confessed to him, "That's why I want you to come to New York with me. I can't imagine living my dreams without the man I love by my side... and I'm too just selfish to let you go. Please Finn."
She was practically begging him at this point, but every word she had uttered was true. Rachel loved him too much to be so far away, for so long. He was the peanut butter to her jelly; the milk to her cookies. Without him, she just didn't feel whole and her visit to New York had just confirmed that for her.
There had to be a way that they could be together.
Finn simply nodded his head, and pulled away from her grasp. The lose of touch made her heart drop; was this the end? Was he saying no? But before the fears of potentially losing him could settle in, his large fingers intertwined through hers. His hand now holding hers, Finn walked them towards his car without uttering a word. Rachel's eyes didn't leave the back of his head as she intently watched him, curious as to what he was doing.
He led her to her car door, opening for it like a gentleman and motioning for her to enter the vehicule. She did so and then anxiously waited for him to do the same. It wasn't until he was the car and the engine was running did Finn finally say something.
"Are your dads home?" he asked her, turning her head to look at her. His dimples had re-appeared as the young man smiled at her, and then brought his attention to the road.
0-0
They drove up onto her driveway. They had not said a word to each other just building the anticipation for Rachel. She really wished she could read his mind at the moment to figure him out but no such luck. He had gone from angry and upset to quiet yet calm.
It wasn't until they were standing in front of her door that Rachel realized that she was still in her bathing suit. How had she not noticed that before? However, knowing it was too late to say something now, she simply shrugged it off and unlocked the door under Finn's direction.
Once they walked into the home, Finn suddenly grabbed her and pulled her into his arms. He held her closely, looking down at her and locking his eyes with hers. They were sparkling at her. God, he has beautiful eyes, she thought.
"Our time's almost up. I'll be here in Ohio and you'll be off in New York wrapping the city and all its inhabitants around your beautiful fingers. Maybe one day we will be able to re-unite but for now, for the next however long we have, I want to just love you and spend every minute up until that moment, loving you," he practically purred to her as he lowered his head and whispered that into her ear. Shivers ran down her spine at the feeling of his breath on her air.
His words sent a heat bubbling within her, as her mind and body clicked in. This was the moment. They were finally going to be completely connected.
Their lips attached within seconds, shooting her into straight bless. Her entire body relaxed as his hands propped her head up, aiding him in deepening the kiss. She had never felt so much passion exuding from him than right at this moment. Having been waiting so long for this, Rachel's body instantly began reacting. Rachel already felt a throbbing between her thighs where she wanted him most, only increasing when she felt him grinding his growing hardness against her left inner thigh.
As their mouths continued to explore each other, Finn lifted Rachel up - her legs instinctively wrapping around his waist - and carried her to his bedroom. She couldn't believe how strong her boyfriend was as he didn't even flinch as he lifted her up the stairs, all his concentration on tasting her. When they reached the top of the stairs, Rachel realized that Finn had never been in her home before, so she pulled away for a second to whisper "to the left" before attaching her gently lips to his neck, peppering him with kisses.
Finn playfully tossed Rachel onto the bed once the door was prompted open with his free hand, and joined her; placing lingering kisses on her now burning skin as he climbed up to her lips. As they were still in their bathing suits, all sensations were heightened since they barely had any fabric between them. Finn gave her a long deep kiss, as his hand lowered to cup her sex winning him a loud moan. Rachel had never felt so incredible in her life. Her body was feeling things she never knew she could feel as sensations of ecstasy were taking over.
Suddenly, Finn stopped his motions and sat up, his swim trunks clearly tented. Rachel blushed as she remembered that she was the one that had caused that reaction.
"I really do love you, Rachel. I've never said it to get us to this moment. I just want you to know that, " he shyly confessed, looking down - his usual defensive mechanisim.
"I love you too," confidently replied Rachel, sitting up herself. Knowing what she wanted, she reached to her back and untied her bathing suit top letting it fall of her olive skin and setting her breasts free, "Will you make love to me, Finn?"
He let out a loud groan as she pulled his hands to her breasts, allowing him to squeeze and touch them anyway he liked. The touch deepened her own need for him, as she felt the throbbing grow.
"Condoms in bottom cabinet," moaned Rachel when Finn suddenly flicked her already rock hard nipples.
Finn nodded in response, reaching over her to grab the condoms. While he did that, Rachel hastily shimmed out of her bottoms exposing herself to him, but not even giving a care in the world. He thought she was the most beautiful girl in the world and had made that clear.
When he sat back up he opened the package, and pulled down his boxers causing Rachel's eyes widen in awe. He was so...huge. Questions and fears suddenly hit her as she stared at his dick. How was he going to fit into her? Was it going to hurt? Could he rip her open with his large girth? Santana had once told her that the first time always hurt but would Finn cause her more pain then an average penis? This man was definitely larger than average.
But all thoughts slipped away, as Finn bent down to kiss her one more time, lining himself up with her entrance.
"You're so beautiful," he whispered before sliding into her.
A harsh pain shot through her once he filled her. She couldn't help the tear that slipped down her face. Luckily, Finn didn't move.
"Rach, are you okay? Do you want to stop?" he asked, only re-assuring her that this was the right thing to do. He cared about her and wanted her to enjoy the experience just as much as he was.
So with a gentle smile Rachel mumbled back, "gimme a second." Rachel moved her hips a bit, adjusting to his size until the pain lessened. "Okay, you can keep going."
Everything was a blur after that. Finn had quickly found a rythm, making sure to be careful and avoid causing her pain while hitting all the right spots, sending her into a land of bliss and ectasy. As he pumped in and out of her, sometimes taking a slow pace and others speeding up, Rachel couldn't hold back the loud moans and groans that escaped her throat - extremely unladylike on her part. She had never thought that it could feel this good, but what made it that much more incredible was that with every thrust, Rachel could feel she and Finn growing closer and closer, their love deepening - if that was possible. Each movement was joined with a tender kiss on some part of her body, just making everything that more heightened as he constantly reminded her that this wasn't sex. They were making love.
His large member filled her perfectly, as if they were two puzzle pieces fit perfectly together, and Rachel was falling over the edge quickly. She was drawing closer and closer to her climax, when Finn suddenyl lowered his hand to massage her bundle of nerves, sending stars to her eyes as she let go. Her body shuddered as all her muscles clenched and this strong tidal wave shot through her, causing Finn to arrive at his climax alongside her. They both finished together, but Finn didn't immediately pull out. He stayed inside her for a bit, until they both came down from their high; his kisses never ending.
When he did pull out of her, he quickly got up from the bed without a word to dispose of the used condom into the garbage - causing a slight whimper from Rachel at the lose of touch. However, he returned to her side just as quickly, pulling her naked body to tightly to his. They both had a layer of sweat covering them, but neither cared. Instead, they just looked into each other's side, both still catching their breath.
"Have I told you how much I love you?" chuckled Finn, leaning down to place a chaste kiss on her lips but suddenly froze when he heard a noise.
"Rachel?" called out a voice from outside the door.
Instantly, her own body froze alongside his, still wrapped in his arms.
They were no longer home alone.
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