A/N: Hurray, another chapter. Love all your support guys. This one is from Guestperson's request. And here let me tell you something, maybe somewhere in the story it's going to be a bit confusing but basically the plot is Astrid furious with herself to let strange, mushy feelings inside her. So, yeah. It'll make it more clear. The story's kind of a little over-dramatic for my taste, but I wouldn't judge you guys.
Maybe she's a bit OOC in this but I rather keep her that way, since it's her soft side we're talking about. And this is the first chapter in this story that contains a flashback (you probably don't care). So please don't blame me for the half-expected confusion you will have (although I prefer not to) and read it carefully again if you still don't understand the story. I said maybe confusing. Maybe.
And thank you for all the reviews, followers, and those who favorited this story. I'm accepting idea's in every kind of way. Prompts, request, suggestion, bla bla bla... Now on with the chapter already. Read and Review!
Summary: Who said the strong and hard ones always win? For once Astrid is going to prove that wrong. Or maybe Hiccup is going to make her do it.
Disclaimer: I do not own How To Train Your Dragon, it respectfully belongs to Cressida Cowell and DreamWorks Animation Studios.
Mellow
Rays of sunshine began to fill the room. I shut my eyes as the light blinded my vision. I threw my blanket away and made my way out of the house. It's a nice day, usually I would spend it by wandering around the island on my own, or practicing with axe throwing and flight stunts. But today Hiccup asked me to fly with him, on Toothless. I clenched my fist in anger for making the decision of agreeing with him.
Flashback
The gang are now in the academy. Today's lesson was axe throwing as per my suggestion. I heard the others groaned in lack of enthusiasm. I ignored it as I picked my axe up and started doing the lesson myself. I've been distracted lately. Yes. I admit that something had kept me from focusing on training. I always stayed late up night to figure out what it was but to no avail and decided to sleep. I hate being distracted. Distraction is… Distracting. How obvious is that. I may sound dumb at the moment but it's true. No matter how much I tried to focus there is always something tugging at the back of my head. And it's not easy to get rid of.
Crack!
Crack!
Crack!
The targets crushed one by one as my axe grind them. I'm angry. No, I guess that still doesn't covers it. Infuriated might be right. Every time I was focused on something there's a whisper in my ears that the words I can't make out. It made my stomach all fluttery and full of butterflies. I never intended to grow up like this. I want to become a shield maiden as I grow up, not some sappy girlish kind of woman. I retrieved my axe and throw it again, unleashing my frustration to the force. The others watched me in mild amusement as I was exasperatedly trying to obliterate all the targets, literally.
I glared furiously at them and they immediately looked away with utter horror scattered on their faces. Except for one person. Him. He's just looking at me as if I'm kid waiting for a Snoggletog present. He just smiled lopsidedly and waved to me, giving complementary comments about how good I was at the lesson. He cheered encouragements and looked at me eagerly. If that wasn't him at the moment, I would've chopped his head off.
Crack!
Crack!
I growled menacingly with every thought of that problem. I was really desperate to finding the source of my distraction and planning how to get rid of it. Vikings doesn't have distractions. They have unending stubbornness and equivalent strength. They're not supposed to have feelings and those kind of things.
I threw my axe for the hundredth time that day as I began to feel abhorrent of the academy. I grabbed my axe with a swift tug and stormed out the ring. I can also feel that the others were staring at my demeanor while I flew off with Stormfly.
I spent the rest of the day practicing with Stormfly's spike shots non-stop. Until a black figure and another atop it flew by and landed beside us.
"Astrid, what happened back there?" He asked concernedly.
"What happened?!" I snapped back at him. He raised his arms defensively and spoke again.
"A-Astrid, please calm down. I just wanted to know if something is upsetting you" He lowered his hand before walking towards me. I kept my gaze onto the ground before he gave me an offer. My heartbeat suddenly quicken. I felt like something inside me was tied up like a knot. I gripped my axe tighter before I could do something I'll regret. My teeth was clenching against one another, I could feel anger inside me boiling.
"Would you like to fly together tomorrow on Toothless?" I was about to punch him on the gut before realizing he hadn't meant any harm. He's only showing his care towards me. Argh- I scolded myself harshly for turning to the soft side. I looked back at him and he looked at me with big rounded eyes and eyebrows furrowed. His lips frowned feigning disappointment while begging for acceptance at the same time.
I nonchalantly replied just so he wouldn't bug me again. "Fine. But if you cancel it at the last minute, I swear you won't be able to walk for a week" I held my axe threateningly as he gulped in fear and nodded obediently. I almost felt guilty for my reaction to his tender approach. Almost. He mounted Toothless and flew back to the village. I kept practicing and trying to figure out what's the thing that's keeping me from focusing. I was more than angry to fail, but to fail and not able to solve the problem made my head fumed and face red as a ripe tomato from fury.
After the sun settled down, I returned home to sleep the night away. I really couldn't get the problem away as it haunted me with displeasure and mocks. Like I was being laughed for not being able to control myself. I released my wrath as I chopped a piece of log with my axe and continued until it became little bits of wood. I calmed down and climbed onto my bed and tucked in the covers. Blackness consumed me while random insults was heard. Then I realized, that the distraction is caused by, him. It was him all this time.
'He made you like this. He turned you into a lowlife, disgrace of a warrior. He turned you from a fierce warrior into a squirmish girl. With all his touches, all his words-' ARGH-! I shook my head in my sleep as the thoughts invaded my mind.
'I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM! I HATE HIM!' Those words repeated itself inside my head like a mantra. But the other side of me just wouldn't let go and doubted my thoughts. 'Do I?'
Flashback over
I walked up to the chief's house where he lived. I knocked for a couple of time before the boy in question showed himself and readied to fly. I joined him on his saddle and hugged him from behind to prevent falling. I could feel the warmth radiating from his body. Argh- I did that again!
The dragon quickly flapped his wings as we launched up from the ground. We flew around some part of the island while satisfying ourselves with the landscaping. The emotional part of me was surfacing but I held it down before it could do so. We landed on a cliff, secluded by the trees and bushes. Facing the sight of sunset as we sat on the edge, feet dangling above the high fall towards the dark deep blue ocean.
"Astrid" He spoke abruptly. I tilted my head and looked at him as patient as I can. I'm not exactly in the mood for this, especially with him.
"Are you okay?" The question hit my head like a blow from a punch. I was really not into discussing myself. I gritted my teeth and answered.
"Of course I'm okay. Do I look sick?" I snapped while he seemed surprised by the coldness of the tone.
"Astrid, I don't know what is bothering you, but if it is me I want to say I'm sorry" He grabbed my hand and held it in his. My skin became warm and my face was hot. A taint of red appeared without any notice. I growled in anger in my head and harshly pulled my hand from him, and when I did that I saw hurt in his eyes. I suddenly felt guilt before being consumed by indignation once again. I stood up and walked to forest. I was about to run back to the village before a pair of arms hugged me from behind.
"I'm sorry" He apologized tearfully.
"Please forgive me Astrid. For whatever I'd done" His grip tightened and I felt like elbowing him on the face but instead I knelt and buried my face in my hands. He suddenly followed and stayed silent. I looked at him from behind my hands and muttered something to him.
"I'm sorry, I didn't quite catch it" He frowned and placed his ear next to my head before I snapped again at him.
"I SAID, YOU DON'T NEED TO APOLOGIZE" I shouted at him before tears flowed on my cheeks. He gasped in surprise and swept them away. He looked straight into my eyes.
"Astrid, please tell me what happened, why are you angry at me, why do you act so cold around me recently, I want to know Astrid. I want to apologize properly" He pleaded despondently. I turned around while he didn't move, instead keeping his ears ready for what I was going to say.
"I'm- I'm… Afraid" I confessed disgracefully.
"Afraid of what?" He asked softly.
"I'm afraid…" I stopped for a moment.
"Mhmm?" He hummed to let me continue. But I couldn't hold it any longer. I can't take all his forgiveness and kind nature. It's tearing me apart from the inside. I screamed to him without a care for whoever might be listening.
"I'M AFRAID TO LOVE YOU HICCUP!" I said in a cracking voice while facing him who look shocked. I broke down again and he unexpectedly hugged me in a calming manner.
"So you don't want to love me?" He asked hesitantly yet with a little relief. But I could sense disappointment and sadness too. I don't want to hear him or see him like this. But I also don't want myself to look infirm. To look frail. To look vulnerable.
"I- I…" I stuttered as I can't form a word. He put a finger on my lips as he silenced me and became comfortable in the hug.
"I'm afraid… To be weak" After I said that, I hugged him back roughly as his breath was caught in the middle. Then I felt a hand touched my face and two fingers cupped my chin lifting it upwards.
"Astrid…" He brushed a few tear drops.
"You are a Hofferson. You are fearless. A warrior that can standup to himself, herself for your case" He chuckled lightly and a smile tugged at the end of my lips. He can still lighten the mood in such situation.
"You have proven yourself many times of your deadly fighting abilities. But I don't care for what you thought of yourself other than that. For me, you are always the strongest yet bravest Viking woman I've ever met" He said meaningfully while caressing my hair.
"And I know that you will not let petty girlish feelings to take over you, because, you are not that kind of girl. You always have the ambition to be the greatest shield maiden Berk ever know. And I won't force you to love me and leave what your heart desire" His hands came down to my face and he began caressing it.
"But I only want you to know, I will always love you whatever choice you make" That's the last thing I heard before a set of lips came brushing down to mine. It's smooth and delicate surface warming me as his tongue begged for entrance. I gave it nonetheless while my hands traveled up to his neck. I pulled him towards me to deepen the kiss. I parted first and looked at his face.
"Does that answer it?" He smiled gently before hugging me for the third time that moment.
I decided that this time, I'll let my soft and mellow side win against the hard and strong one. And maybe for hereinafter.
A/N: So... Yeah, that's it. I don't know if you guys will like it but please tell me in the reviews. Writing this is pretty hard apparently, seeing that the plot was already used in the second chapter. But I guess I took a shot at it to please my reviewer.
I'm sorry for the lack of Astrid's thoughts. But I think it's not unusual since knowing her, she's more of an action than verbal person. So if she gets mad or frustrated, she'll likely yelled at herself. I guess that would explain a lot. So, for Cyclone20's review, I meant for her to be like that. I didn't write some of the thoughts you would think she would thought on purpose. It's not that confusing really. And not too much missing information or description also. If you read it carefully, and I mean not rushing it you'll get the idea. I still think this is not one of my best works. I admit that there is lack of explanation. But I hope you like it.
The next chapter will be based on HiccupHaddockLover's request. Well, good day and keep up to date! See you in the next chapter!
-MDzkM
