7. Empty

Jack felt empty. Just as empty as his beloved's open stomach. The cavity gaped, devoid of the life it had held for eight and a half months. It had been several hours but it could have been several years for all Jack cared. He wasn't ready to let go yet. Maybe he never would be. Not again.

His son now resided in Martha's arms and she tried to hand him to his father but Jack couldn't bear to let go of Ianto's cooling hand.

He knew he should take him and let her take Ianto's body but he just didn't care.

Gwen sobbed quietly as she tried to contain her emotions. With shaking hands she continued to clean Ianto's lower limbs. The blood that had pooled under his buttocks and thighs had been wiped away and any sign of blood on his torso was now absent as well but she couldn't stop.

Jack bent close to Ianto's face and stared into his vacant eyes. Still open, they betrayed the previous owner's sudden eviction, shattering any illusion of life. Dull and opaque, they were already starting to glaze over.

Jack's lips eagerly sought Ianto's but that taste was gone. Metallic and alcohol tinged from the life saving attempts. They had even taken his taste.

The baby cried out as Martha thrust him at Jack. Jack's arms automatically closed around his Son as he found himself looking into his own eyes. Twin pools of sorrow regarded each other.

"Hello Bump" Jack croaked, his voice still raw from his screaming.

Gwen looked up from Ianto's feet and looked at the child for the first time. She understood Jack's conflicting emotions. This baby had meant the return of Ianto for such a short time, but also his loss. She had promised Ianto that she would love his son and help Jack when this was bound to happen.

Ianto's calm explanation to her had cut her to the core. His shoulder hitching as he told her of his impending death like he was telling her he forgot to pick up the laundry. Jack had refused to listen to him, demanding he live.

"No! He'll live. I won't let him leave me again!" Jack had screamed, shouting and raging at any suggestion of Ianto paying the final bill.

When it had come time and she had been forced to watch Ianto comforting Jack through his own pain the reality of it was too much.

She stepped in by Martha to stand beside Jack and reached around him forming a nervous embrace of both father and child. Looking down on the tiny face she saw Ianto. Jack's eyes but definitely Ianto's button nose and cupid mouth.

"Oh Yan," she sighed to her friend as though he might still be there listening with a hitch in her voice. "He's perfect."

"Did you expect anything less?" Jack whispered. "Ianto made him after all."

Jack watched his son's hand grabbing tight to his index finger and the battle of the wills continued as they examined one another.

"Well? Do I cut the mustard Soldier?" Jack said softly.

The grip tightened and the little blue eyes blinked in time to the big blue eyes above. Jack's other fingers and thumb rubbed the little wrist and arm that protruded from the blanket and he was struck by the irony of the design on the fabric.

"Are these stars and moons? Do you like this blankie?" he crooned, finally leaning back from the bed and into Gwen's warmth.

"I thought you might like it. Ianto did" the Doctor said softly, adding his own arms to the hug.

"Hello little angel. What's your name then?" He whispered. "Montague? No, I think you're making fun of me. No. I don't believe All Knowing Coffee King or Manly Beast either. You have your Tad's lovely mouth but definitely your Daddy's tongue!"

Gwen looked at the Doctor like he was growing an extra head but Jack snorted and frowned at Bump.

"Come on now, tell the truth. I'm sure Tad talked to you where I wasn't around. What names did he offer?" Jack asked the bundle.

After a moment the Doctor lent back with a grunt and stared into space at something past Gwen's shoulder. He hummed softly and then looked at Jack.

"Ifan, Flynn and for some reason Miller." The doctor finally provided. "He liked Miller the most."

"Yeah. Our song" Jack sighed.

"Ah!" the Doctor recognised it at last "Glen Miller, the music we … um …. danced to."

"Yan knew how much I loved you and Rose. I bet if Bump had been a girl he would have chosen rose." Jack sighed at his lover's choices.

"Actually …" the Doctor looked back at Bump for clarification, "that's right."

"Are you telling me you can understand Bump?" Gwen asked.

"Oh yes, I speak baby. Little Miller here is quite shy but wonderfully clever" the Doctor smiled. "TARDIS can't wait to get to know you!"

Jack sat listening to the conversation but couldn't find the energy to join in. He couldn't find the joy he needed for this child or even anger at the loss of the one he needed to make this work. He just felt empty.