A/N: I guess I forgot to formally announce this or something, but remember when you guys voted on if you wanted G!P Tori, G!P Jade, or no G!P? Welp, G!P Tori won, hence the condom tidbit from last chapter.
"Whoever's calling you is really persistent, luckily." We've been searching for my goddamn phone for ten fucking minutes, ten minutes that could've been spent doing something more productive like fucking or videogames or watching movies or fucking. My phone's hidden well but thankfully it keeps ringing so we can keep trying to locate it by sound.
"Yeah," I say as I look under my pillows. "It's my dad's ringtone, he's one persistent prick."
"I wonder what he wants," Vega says, looking under my bed, giving me a great view of her ass. God fucking damn it, why am I so horny today? I can't go one second without sexualizing Vega.
"Yeah." I'm still dazed from her ass.
Vega pokes her head out from under my bed. "You okay, Jade? You sound a little off."
"Yeah, I'm fine," I say as I stumble over to her. "I'm just intoxicated by the sight of your backside." My head hurts. "Girl, whatchu hiding in them jeans?" I fall to the floor. Why is it so comfy down here?
"Oh my god, Jade. Are you okay?" Vega hoists me up onto my bed. I giggle at her.
"I want you to fuck me. Like, right now. Pretty please? Pretty pretty please? Pretty brown eyes, you'll be fucking me later tonight. I'm hot."
Vega presses the back of her hand against my forehead. "You're burning up."
"Yeah, burning up for you," I chortle. I point to the ceiling fan. "Turn it on, like you turn me on."
Vega flips the switch on and my phone immediately flies off of it.I gasp before bursting out into a fit of giggles. "Oh, Dad's gonna be upset about that. That phone costed, like, money. He's gonna have to break out some more mullah to fix it. Mullah, that's a funny word. How does that even mean money? It's just moo and la. Mooooo la. Mooooo. I'm a cow."
"Okay. Somehow, you're drunk. I mean, you sound seriously wasted right now. Maybe this has something to do with Sikowitz's coconut juice. I'm calling him," Vega says as she picks up my phone. "Oh, the screen's just cracked."
"Drats," I say, snapping my fingers. "I was hoping for a new phone. Maybe I can build my own, and start my own company. I'll call them 'JadePears'."
Vega ignores me as she dials Sikowitz's number on my phone. She puts it on speakerphone as soon as he answers. "Sikowitz."
"Jade, why in great Gandhi's solar system did you leave me at Sinjin's? I'd rather you left me surrounded by a pack of ravenous dogs or Sam, covered in bacon cream and barbeque sauce!"
"Sikowitz, it's Tori. About that coconut juice.."
"Tori! Why'd you let her leave me at Sinjin's?! His mother is holding me hostage and is trying to feed me some green substance thing. It honestly smells like chlorine."
"Sikowitz! Shut up. I'm trying to ask a question."
"Ask way, Toro. But you really could've been more polite about it..."
Vega rubs at her temples. "I need to know more about that coconut juice. Are there any other side effects you forgot to mention to us?"
There is a moment of silence on the other line before Sikowitz speaks again. "Ah! I did forget to mention a tiny piece of information. See, the effects of the coconut juice last 24 hours, occurring at spontaneous intervals of time after initial consumption."
"How is that a tiny piece of information?!"
"I thought that you'd already know. Anyways, the effects will keep occurring with heightened sexual appetite and libido until 24 hours have passed. Now, can you please rescue me from-"
Vega hung up before Sikowitz could finish his sentence. "Ughhhhh."
"Come over here. I bet I could get you making that sound again in less than 5 minutes."
Vega settles next to me in bed and wraps her arm around my waist. "I just wanna use those 5 minutes to not have anything to stress or worry about. Is that too much to ask?"she whispers against my shoulder.
"Mmm, okay. But after that, I'm riding you like a pony. My lil Hispanic pony. My hony."
Vega snorts. "Whatever you say, Jade."
Gold, gold bones, bones
I pull my phone from Vega's grasp. "Gotta see what the old man wants." I click answer. "Yellow?"
"Jadelyn. I've been trying to contact you all day. Did you pick up my rings?"
