Les Âmes Soeurs
AnniKay
Sam/Mercedes/Puck
Disclaimer: I own Nothing…Murphy, Falchuk, and Brennen along with Fox and others own this fandom and all the characters there in…Anything you recognize obviously belongs to them
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The more I hear about this last season of Glee the more I realize that it is a very good thing I'm not still watching. RIB and his writers can each collectively and individually kiss my big black ass. SamCedes is EndGame. If they can't see that then they need new, not stupid, eyes.
Thank all of you for being avid readers & reviewers of my stories
Rest In Peace
broomstick flyer
***One of the very best Harry Potter Fiction writers there ever was. You will be greatly missed.***
***MerlinsApprentice, her fans thoughts, well wishes and prayers are with you and your family during this time of grief and loss***
Special thanks to KayBee80 & Illiandyanndra who have been Beta rock stars for all of my thirteen stories
Summary: The gang has moved to New York. College and career are on the horizon…Are the Original New Directions ready for what all the future holds?
AN: THERE IS A NEW POLL! You Can Pick Mercedes SongBird Red Carpet Look. Choices are at the Illy&Anni Yahoo group. Vote until Sunday, April 5th!
Warning: I took a Dare there is a sexual situation in this chapter that some may find offensive.
The Learning French Series is up to 1377 Reviews. WooHoo…1500 we're gunning for you!
Chapter 7
Its Growing (James Taylor)
Aidan PoV
Thanksgiving my senior year was way too hectic for any one soul to deal with. A lot of our college age friends were home, all of Tessa's brothers and sisters were around. Her family was going to have a grand total of three weddings the next summer and she, and in one case we, were going to be in them. I'd known about her dad's and Kevon's…but finding out about her 'uncle's' was something no one in their family was expecting. Tessa was totally happy about it though. She loved Saul and Mills. I hadn't had a lot of time to talk to them and the time we'd spoken had basically boiled down to their version of the 'Shovel Speech', so I liked them just because of how much they loved Tessa.
Unfortunately, we hadn't been able to spend the day together. My mom and dad had been invited to the Jones/Puckerman/Altman/Evans Thanksgiving Dinner, but mom had turned down the invitation, instead saying that they had already invited her family to come to our house for dinner. My Dad and I were both a little surprised at that news. It wasn't our turn to host the Richards family for Thanksgiving that year. But I had noticed that since 'the incident' Mom had been slowly but surely pulling back her support of me and Tessa as a couple. At first the two of them had gotten along great. Mom had done cheerleading from pee-wee football all the way through college. So she had loved the fact that I was dating a cheerleader, especially one who was part of the national championship team. But then IT had happen.
The weekend before Halloween I was supposed to be home alone. Mom and Dad were supposed to be camping with Evan and Stevie at the Cub Scout Spook-a-ree. They had left Friday evening after the game and everything. Tessa was free, the cheerleading state competition, which the Cheerios had won, had been the week before the show choir sectionals, which the New Directions had won. Both of which had already taken place meaning that we didn't have anywhere to be until Sunday when we were supposed to go worship at the Jones' church to make up for Tessa missing Temple that Saturday.
George and Becah knew where she was even though she told them that she was spending the weekend with the newest New Direction girls. The truth was that one of the new girls, Marley was dating Jake and Tessa hated being around the two of them because the two of them made making out without going too far into an Olympic sport. Fire liked Marley, but she said that every time she looked at her she couldn't help but get grossed out. That night, things started out perfect. We'd had dinner at Hunan Garden, Tessa's favorite. Then we'd gone for a walk in the park and made out in this gorgeous grotto under a bunch of really old oaks. When we got back to my room, Tessa wanted to play. Hell, I wanted to play. So after a nice quick, hard fuck to get our first orgasms out of the way, we retreated to my bathroom to try something we'd been talking about since prom night and never had the time to try. We turned the shower on a comfortable temperature and let it warm up the bathtub before I got in and Tessa joined me.
"Alright Tess. I want you to suck my cock first." I told her keeping my voice strong and commanding. "Fuck." I hissed as she took me into her mouth. I loved the way her little pink lips looked sucking me. I was hard enough to pulverize diamonds in no time…the anticipation coupled with the sights and sounds of Tessa kneeling between my slightly spread legs blowing me had me aroused in minutes.
"You sure you're ready for this, Blaze?" she asked quietly. Tessa had adopted the nickname Blaze for me when she'd looked up the meaning of my name. Since Aidan was Celtic for little fire, she'd really enjoyed going there.
"Fuck yeah, Fire…Buckbeak isn't even on the same continent." I told her referring to the safe word I was to use if things were too much for me. My nickname for Tess wasn't anywhere near as deep. I'd just gone with the color of her fiery locks. Plus it matched the one she had given me, so it felt kind of perfect.
Her smile was sexy as hell as she gracefully, mostly, climbed to her feet before squatting over my hips and lowering herself down my erection. She worked her hips; the feeling of her pussy enveloping me was different than when she knelt, the visual starker and deeply more erotic. I leaned forward and captured one of her petal pink nipples between my teeth, worrying it with my tongue until her breaths started to come in gasps and pants. Only then did I change to the other and torment that one. Her rising and falling pulled the nubbin away from her body in what had to be delicious pain. My fingers slid up her thigh to find her tiny little clit I stroked it, my thumb massaging it from about an inch above the hood all the way to just above where the clit peaked out. "Oh God Aid." She moaned as she was overtaken by her first orgasm of the 'round'.
The sight and how good she felt pulsing and throbbing around me, the rhythm of her undulations so different from the pounding of the blood in my veins, it was almost too much for my tenuous grasp on my control. My free hand found its way to her mouth. "Get them wet." I commanded as I shoved two fingers into her mouth. Her talented little tongue licked at my fingers getting them slick. Before she could drag me into cumming hard and early, I pulled my fingers free only to slip the digits into her tight little asshole. "Do it. Do it now."
A stream of hot, pale gold liquid came out of her right above where my dick was enveloped in her hot wet heat. "Oh My Fucking GOD!" She screamed.
My back arched so hard I hit my head on the rim of the bathtub. Tessa was squeezing me so tightly; my screams of pleasure joined hers. "Oh Fuck." I murmured over and over again as I emptied myself into my girlfriend. We almost never went without condoms, despite Tessa being on the shot, but given what we'd wanted to try there was no way that we could have used one. And that was the best decision ever. Her piss and the slick juices that escaped from around our joining boiled down over my balls making my orgasm the single most intense I'd ever experienced. Tessa's seemed to go on and on and on until she finally dropped against me panting and whimpering. I pulled my hand from between her legs and the other from her backside. Rinsing them both, I carefully pulled her wet curls back from her face before capturing her lips in a grateful kiss.
When we could move again we got cleaned up and wrapped up in towels. I opened the bathroom door for her and as soon as we got back in my bed, we attacked each other with our hands and mouths. The intensity of the orgasm from our shower play only made us want more. "Blaze…I want you to fuck my throat." Fire murmured in my ear after nibbling on my earlobe.
"I wanted to eat your pussy." I growled. We quickly decided to do both. Tessa turned across the bed, hanging her head off one side, while she pulled her knees up and spread her legs wide on the other. The height of my bed made it easy for me to pump my hips, drilling my cock in and out not just of her mouth, but of her throat as well. Once my rhythm was well established, I leaned over and buried my face in her cunt lapping greedily at her honey. She tasted so fucking good all I could think of was the taste of us on my tongue. I didn't hear the door open. I didn't hear my mother drop the bags she had brought back. I didn't hear her outraged gasp. I was entirely focused on the pleasure Fire was causing as she moaned and whimpered around my pistoning dick.
"Aidan Zachary Harding!" my mother shouted. Now that I heard.
I wish that I could say that I stopped. But I didn't I bit down just hard enough on Tessa's clit to force her into an orgasm. Just the fact that someone was watching us made me cum even harder than I had in the bathtub. I rolled my head to the side as my body was buffeted by waves and waves of pleasure. I didn't realize that I was giving my mother a full frontal view of Fire's spasming pussy and my cum rolling out of it was her walls undulated.
When we were cognizant enough to realize who was in the room with us, we scrambled to our feet and grabbed pillows and the bedspread to try and cover our nudity and in Tessa's case the cum quickly running down her thighs and neck. Mom was totally incensed. Apparently she hadn't felt like sleeping outside in the cooling fall night so she had decided to make the fifteen minute drive back to Lima to sleep in her own bed. On the way to her room, she had heard 'sounds of distress' coming from my room and decided to check on me. Mom shouted and fussed. She made me take Tessa home and then I was grounded for a month. . Thankfully I was able to explain everything to my Dad and he managed to talk her down.
I got really lucky when it was time to go get Dad and Ethan the next afternoon, Mom sent me. Her reasoning was that I might get 'up to something' with Tessa during the half hour she would be gone. In the car on the way back, I laid it all out for Dad. Well not all. I didn't tell him about the very successful 'golden shower' experiment. I sure as hell didn't tell him that I'd gotten off on the idea of getting caught. Instead I just told him that mom had caught us making love and that she had grounded me for a month. Mom had told him her version of events which seemed to include Tessa trying to get pregnant, which she, of course hadn't; and Tessa trying to trap me into marriage…which she, of course, wasn't. Then the arguing started. Dad didn't see anything wrong since we were both over the age of consent and George had let him know a long time back that he was pretty sure we were either active or heading that way, and Becah had put Tessa on birth control to be safe. They argued about the duration of the punishment and what Dad saw as Mom's overreaction. Then they argued about the reason I should have any punishment at all.
I did get grounded for two weeks. According to dad it was for being devious and not using a condom. Mom said it was for 'fucking my obviously deviant little girlfriend' in their house. I stood to defend Tessa, but Dad beat me to it and totally put Mom's business all out there. My mother had been a cheerleader. But she hadn't been a cheerleader like Cede or Kurt or even Quinn…no my mom had been a cheerleader like Santana and Brittany had been cheerleaders. She had even gotten pregnant twice when she was in high school trying to keep her quarterback boyfriend happy. They didn't say what happened to the babies, but I got the feeling that she hadn't put them up for adoption. Dad had pretty much stepped in and saved her from a really toxic relationship. Personally, I could have lived without ever knowing that stuff, but Dad had been insistent that if I was going to be man enough to make certain decisions, then I needed be man enough to face the consequences and the determination thereof.
So for two weeks I only saw my Fire at school where she was pretty much safe from my lecherous advances. Or she would have been if Puck hadn't given her the keys to two of his campus hiding spots. Jake had gotten the keys to the other five that Puck called the less comfortable ones. Monday morning after the incident, she dragged me into the janitor closet closest to the choir room. "So how bad was it?" she asked me after kissing me like she hadn't seen me in a month.
"I'm housebound for two weeks. No phone and only school related activities or internet. In the future, I am to let Dad know whenever you're coming over if no one is home. Granted, he said that was so that he could find a way to keep Mom out of our hair until we've had some alone time…but I don't think that is how he presented it to Mom." I said with a smile. "Yeah, probably not." She agreed. "I'm sorry you got in trouble."
"What about you?"
She shrugged. "Dad was a little mad. But I really only got in trouble for the sneaking part. One week no cell phone…which since you don't have yours and MeDe and the guys call the house phone…it's not that bad at all."
I made a sound of agreement. "I have to say though…the 'shower' experiment was a complete and total success." Tessa gave me a weird look. "What? Don't try and tell me you didn't like it. You came so hard you almost passed out."
"No, I really, really, really liked it. I can't wait until we have a chance to do it again. I wish we'd had the chance to try it the other way too." She told me with a wicked little smile.
I nodded. Since guys couldn't actually pee while they came like women could, we'd planned to try my going inside Tessa's back door the next morning with my morning wood. "We'll work it out. I'm not gonna rest until we've exhausted every single fantasy in your naughty little mind." I assured her.
The kiss she laid on me was reward and incentive enough to make sure that I kept that promise. "Is it wrong that I thought it was hot when we got caught? I mean not that it was by your mom…that was a definite eewww! But-"
"If it had been someone cool…someone our age and not related." I whispered.
She nodded emphatically. "I got off a bunch of times yesterday to the thought of getting caught by like Reggie, Chase, Jess or one of the guys, like, Steven…that would be so fucking hot."
"Especially if they wanted to stay and watch." I said quietly. We kind of lost our cool there and were late for first period. Before I left her at the door of her first class, Tessa asked me again if I thought that we might be able to join her family for Thanksgiving dinner. I told her that I would ask again.
I will say that Dad had tried really hard to get mom to let up on the whole 'not allowed to spend Thanksgiving with Tessa's family' deal. He had heard about Danica Jones' cooking enough that he wanted to have Thanksgiving there too. But Mom was determined to punish Tessa and me. In the end she really only punished herself. Ms. Dani sent Daddy a plate and Ms. Gabby sent him a pecan pie. Ethan and I went over on Friday to hang out and help with the leftovers…and escape our annoying Richards cousins.
The three weeks between Thanksgiving break and winter break were full of projects and exams and perfecting college applications for me. Tessa and I made time to at least talk and make out every day. But we got locked in a vicious cycle. Because we weren't able to make love, we were masturbating like crazy. Because we were masturbating like crazy, we came up with more and more increasingly kinky fantasies. Because we were coming up with more and more increasingly kinky fantasies, we wanted to make love. It was really pernicious. I will say that Coach was happy. My sexual frustration was leading us to victory after victory. But the truth of the matter was it was making me unbearable to be around. So much so that when we celebrated my birthday a few days early, Dad got me a hotel room as my gift from him for the weekend Christmas break started. We were scheduled to check in after the game on the twentieth…well after we go and see Mercedes' movie, and check out on Sunday morning. I couldn't wait.
Mom looked like she wanted to say something, but Dad stopped her with a snarled. "Oh for God's sake Heather."
Instead she changed the subject. "You were trying to get your applications finalized by the end of Thanksgiving break…did you get them all in?"
"Yes, Ma'am. Columbia, Rutgers, Princeton, Harvard, NYU, Cornell, and MIT." I told her with a smile.
Mom looked at me and didn't seem happy. "I thought you were going to apply to Penn State. That's almost Ivy League and it's not as far."
"It's not. But you and Dad gave me enough to apply to seven schools. Ms. Pillsbury said that with my grades and my extracurriculars, I could probably get into Columbia or MIT, so I switched them out for Penn State and University of Chicago. The rest were already on the list. I mean, I have a four point 0 GPA a twenty three fifteen on the SAT, I'm Captain of a three time state championship football team and I head the STEM club. If I can get into MIT or the Ivy League…shouldn't I try for them?" I didn't mention that all the schools I was applying to held the distinction of being within driving distance of Manhattan. Since George and Rebecah were already paying for the house there, Tessa was determined to go to college there so they wouldn't have to try to pay for her room and board anywhere else.
"Aidan's right Heather." Dad chided her gently. "He is uniquely placed to have a chance for a scholarship to an Ivy League school. Let him try."
"Well, did you apply for any fall back schools?" Mom queried.
"Just Oberlin, CUNY and Fordham…but Becah helped me get a fee waiver for those applications." I told them honestly. I guess she was happy that there was at least one school close to home on the list, because she finally let the subject rest. I put away the gift cards and stuff that my parents and Ethan had given me and headed to grab Tessa for the party Sugar was throwing for me. I had to admit my life had changed by leaps and bounds in the year since Tessa Altman had moved to Lima Ohio, and I couldn't have been happier."
Savin' Me (NickelBack)
Jake PoV
Sometimes I wonder what my life would have been like if Noah and his family hadn't decided to eat at Mom's diner last New Years'. Looking back at the way I was living, I was destined to be dead by thirty. I mean, I was either gonna sleep with the wrong woman and catch something incurable, or I was going to sleep with the wrong woman and get got by her father or husband or whatever. Talking with Becah, Gabby and Dani had showed me that I treated women like just notches on my belt because I didn't respect them, or myself, very much. It took more conversations with them and phone calls with Noah, Sam and MeDe to figure out why. I was the son of a single mother. I should respect women more than anybody. Even when Noah had been all slutty, he'd been better about how he saw women that I had been. Because he'd been able to see a clear difference between his mom and his Bubbie and the women that threw themselves at him, he'd felt that some women were worthy of respect, those that carried themselves with respect. I didn't really believe that those women existed. Not until I got to know the Moms, and MeDe and Tessa. Danica Jones, Rebecah Puckerman…soon to be Altman, and Gabrielle Evans were all women who truly respected themselves and others. Through no effort on their own part, they showed me the difference between women like them and women like my mom.
My mother had been a pretty good mother. She worked hard to make sure that I always had a roof over my head and clothes and food. I knew that she loved me and that she would fight the world to see me safe…but she was probably entirely too permissive. I was fifteen years old and had never had a curfew. When I was thirteen, I went to Dayton all by myself to see a Ke$ha concert and hooked up with a college broad and spent the rest of the weekend ballin' her in her dorm room. Mom didn't say boo. My mom had caught me getting head from a chick behind her restaurant the year before that and she didn't fuss or run broad off or even indicate that there was anything wrong with a grown ass woman blowing her underaged son behind her place of business. I had no rules at all other than if I wanted spending money; I had to help out around the house and at the diner. Beyond that, my mom was obsessed with finding a husband. I'd always know that if she liked a guy and wanted him, she didn't care if he was with someone, but it wasn't until I watched her around Becah that I realized that included if old dude was married. My whole life she had told me that she hadn't known that Paul was married.
Watching her around Becah and later Saul and Mills, I realized quickly that she had always lied to me. She'd known Paul was married. She had just been so sure that he would leave Becah for her. She really had looked at Becah as if, as Paul's wife, she was the home wrecker keeping him from being with his side chick full time. The joke was on her though; even after Becah kicked him to the curb, Paul Puckerman still hadn't gotten with Mom. And while Saul clearly liked black women…he loved Mills with a depth I didn't believe was possible until I got sucked into my half-brother's life and family.
Mom had finally given up on dating when I hit high school. But before then it was just one busta after another. Half of them didn't have jobs; the other half had more kids than those Duggar people…and an equal number of baby mommas. They were all just train wrecks. When they weren't being all sexual with my mother right in front of me, they were trying to be my damn daddy…usually by trying to physically force me to ascribe to their rules. I probably would have respected Mom more if she had kept her sex shit to her room and her men out of my face until she knew if they were gonna stick or not. To be honest I had managed to keep at least a modicum of respect for her until the year before my sophomore year of high school.
Noah and his boos had gotten Paul arrested. He'd broken into Becah's house and tried to steal from them, something that he said was a particular habit of our shared pater. Now Paul Puckerman had no discernible source of income. No actual address. He didn't even own the car he was driving when he popped back up in Lima. So he had gotten no bail and had to stay in jail until his trial. He couldn't afford a lawyer, and ended up with a public defender. So of course he got convicted. Now this man, who was arrested, judged and incarcerated for crimes so foul…I mean stealing from your daughter and granddaughter…that's borderline disgusting, that man called my mother. A woman whose missed child support payments numbered in the hundreds and the lack of payment thereof had been an outstanding warrant in said asshole's name and had added ten years to his sentences for fraud, breaking and entering, attempted grand larceny, identity theft and grand larceny. He had been in jail for a quite a few months before he got around to calling my mother, asking her to come and visit him.
When she told him that we'd be there, and actually made me go with her to visit my ignoble sperm donor, I thought that she was basically going so she could laugh all up in his face. But instead when we got there, she actually talked to him. That son of a bitch owed her over a hundred grand in back child support and she sat there chatting and reminiscing with him like he was a long lost love. I was so fucking ashamed of her I wanted to get up and leave, but it was like watching a train wreck. I knew the outcome could only suck, but I just couldn't turn away. Unfortunately the little bit of respect that didn't die upon realizing that Mom was there just to play catch-up with the old man, died a horribly painful death when he turned to me and laughingly said, "Did your mom ever tell you how we met? She was dancing under the stage name Precious at the Pink Pony down in Atlanta. She was damn good too. Had managed to put herself through college and was saving up to open her own restaurant." I actually didn't mind that. I'd figured out long ago Mom had either put herself through college one of two ways…stripping was definitely the better option.
After she graduated high school, she had finished culinary arts school and gotten a business degree online in four years, so I knew she hadn't worked a whole lot of jobs to come up with the money. She was always proudly boasting about her not having a boatload of student loans. So I knew that Uncle Sam hadn't paid for it. It was nice to know she hadn't found a suga daddy…that just screamed prostitution to me. I zoned back into the conversation just in time to hear, "It may have been the first time we met…but no matter what Chris Rock says, there was definitely sex in the champagne room that night."
I looked around hoping that none of the cops would be close enough to stop her from busting him in the face one good time. I figured if they were really slow I could get a jab in my damn self. But my mother just giggled like a school girl. Like he hadn't just totally said something that inappropriate to me about her. Like he hadn't just demeaned her and everything. She just laughed. "Paul, stop."
"What stop? You were so good in that back room, I was happy as hell when you moved up her a couple of months later." Paul crowed. "We had a lot of fun until you got knocked up."
In that moment I realized that I was wasting my respect on someone who didn't respect herself at all. I knew that I would never outright disrespect her because, hey, she was my mother. But the rose tinted glasses got drop kicked from my eyes in that instant. "Hold up. You're gonna sit here and disrespect her, right in front of me and not expect me to say boo? Hell to the naw." I growled. "Noah was right about you. As surprising as it is since he really, really, really wants to kill you and leave your ass in a shallow grave somewhere where animals can tear you apart, Saul was right about you. You ain't worth shit…matter of fact, you ain't worth killin'." I told him and looked at my mother. "Can I have the car keys? I'm done here." She started to apologize for me but I stopped her. "Can I please have the car keys? And don't apologize for me. I have way too much respect for me, for my brother and my sister…for my, hell I guess stepmother or whatever Becah is…to sit here and talk to this being, like he really is a man."
She gave me the keys after that. Paul looked at me. "So I guess you think you're hot shit like Noah…he's a fag, son. I wouldn't spend too much time around him. It might be catching."
I rolled my eyes. "I'd rather be the gayest lad in Gaytown than be anything at all like you." Granted I would somehow have to steal the title from Kurt Hummel, but I didn't say all that. "Besides in case you didn't notice he has a girlfriend too. Bisexuality…look it up…it's a thing."
"It's an abomination against God." Paul said with a snarl on his face.
I laughed. "It's an abomination against God to break your wedding vows to dip your wick in anything that would stand still long enough. It's an abomination against God to go through your life breaking even the most fundamental of his rules and laws. You are an abomination against God. You're literally the single most pathetically sinful person anyone has ever seen and you want to stand in a glass house and throw stones. Thank God the only things Noah and I inherited from you were your good looks and the size of your dick." Thankfully they let me head out to the car after that. When Mom finally came out almost twenty minutes later, she gave me the side eye, but she didn't bother to scold me so I didn't say anything. Things at home did not improve for our silence.
But while things at home were really fucked up, shit at school was tight. With Aidan as our quarterback, and my ass at running back and safety we'd won every game so far that season. After my confrontation with Paul, working my way through the entire Cheerio line up…minus Tessa…just didn't hold the same appeal it had. When Marley and I got closer it seemed like it was going to easy to have a normal relationship with her, just one boy and one girl. But it got all screwed up because Ryder, one of the newest newbies, decided he wanted to be with her. Then I found out that another of the new chicks, Kitty, was messing with her head trying to convince Marley that she needed to lose weight or end up as large as her mother. Now, that was impossible considering that Marley looked like she didn't get enough to eat because her mom stole it all…not that she ever would. Mrs. Rose might have had a weight problem, but she was a great mom.
Now, Ryder I could handle myself, but Kitty…she was a chick. I couldn't lay hands on a woman, even if she needed to be punished severely. But fortunately I knew some people to handle her ass. "Yo, Sis…got a minute?" I grabbed Tessa in the hall the morning after I'd found out Kitty's dumbass plan. "I need you to check that Kitty chick."
Tessa looked at me like I'd spoken a foreign language. Thankfully Aidan knew what I meant. "What did Kitty do that means she needs to get straightened out?"
I laid out the whole fucked up situation for them and Tee got pissed. "Alright. You leave that Kitty bitch to me. Her ass will be out of uniform by the end of the day and wishing she could transfer to Dalton by the end of the week." She pulled out her phone and started texting someone. I wasn't sure who, but if I'd liked Kitty better I'd have said I hoped it was Cede not Tana. But I didn't like her at all so unleashing Satan on her was cool with me. "But you need to talk to Marley and help her see the truth of what was going on. Take Unique with you. She isn't MeDe, but there is something about her that tells me she can help when you shove your size ten into your mouth."
I agreed and turned to leave when Aidan stopped me. "Jake, I know something is going on with you and Ryder, but you're gonna need to squash that. You two are teammates twice over now. Get to know him. The two of you might even find some common ground."
I hate it when he is right. Not only did Ryder and I kill our duet cause we sounded fucking awesome together, but come to find out we were both hiding shit behind our 'popular jock' personas. I was having issues with being biracial in intolerant ass McKinley High and Ryder was hiding his reading problems. He was having trouble in all his classes because he wouldn't just confess that his ass had trouble reading. I dragged him to Ms. Pillsbury and she led him through some testing and then got him hooked up with the same program Cede had found for Sam. Then that afternoon after football practice, I introduced him to Sam-I-Am over FaceTime and Sam was able to explain to him that having dyslexia didn't have to be a limiting thing. He just needed to figure out how to work with and around it to excel.
Tessa never confessed to anything, on the way to football practice, I'd seen Kitty in the hall completely out of uniform. She'd been stripped to her bra and thong and she looked like the scene from Nip/Tuck where the doctor would draw on the woman with the black marker showing her all he was gonna change. Apparently Ms. Wilde wore Spanks under her Cheerio uniform, because she had a major muffin top, her legs and ass had dimples everywhere and she needed more definition in her arms. She was lucky the halls were pretty empty. Something told me that the idea had been Santana's but the time of execution had been Cede. Tana would have had her out right before the last bell rang…not after the halls had pretty much cleared. When the blonde disappeared down the hall, Tessa and RJC came strolling out the locker room with sharpies high fiving and looking really happy with themselves.
Unique had proven Tessa right too. I wasn't privy to the conversation but Marley was back to herself. Unfortunately, it also made her realize that she wasn't really ready for a serious relationship yet. She asked for time to get to know me and get to know herself better. I couldn't argue with that. She was right. So instead of getting a new girlfriend, I ended up with three really good friends, because Unique had become part of the Marley friendship package. Plus, there really weren't that many black guys at McKinley…even if he did spend more time as a chick than a dude. Wade/Unique was still the best of the few.
Despite all the drama, we were still ready for Sectionals. The Warblers had stolen the NHSSCA trophy from our trophy case, but Coach Sylvester and Shelby had lo-jacked that bad boy. Shelby was like a mafia don. She made one call, said like ten words, and boom some skinny ass white boy Sebastian was bringing us our trophy back and the Warblers were disqualified from the competition. Granted, we didn't know that until the judges read out the places, but still.
Our performance was on point. The theme was 'Foreigner'. Shelby had decided that we'd look at each of the theme's possible interpretations. Songs by foreign performers or groups, songs by the rock group Foreigner, or songs in foreign languages. Our first song was the foreign language song. Tessa and Kim shared the lead on '99 Luft Balloons' in German. We followed that with RJC and Unique sharing the lead in Foreigner's 'I Want to Know What Love Is'. Then we finished off with Joe, Ryder, Steven and myself leading 'Story of My Life' from One Direction. It was a risk doing such a new song, but it paid off in dividends. Not to mention that our dancing was so off the chain. I mean, me, Regina, Chase and Jessica had taken up where Mike and Brittany had left off and we integrated more gymnastics and hip hop moves too. The second place winners, The Unitards did George Michaels' 'Careless Whisper', then Mr. Mister's 'Broken Wings' and finished up with Depeche Mode's 'Never Let Me Down Again'. Personally it was way too much eighties British music for me but I guess the judges felt that way too. They did come in second. Third place went to the Rosedale Mennonites who'd regaled us with the 'Over the River & Through the Woods and She'll be Coming 'Round the Mountain', then finished off with Leonard Cohen's Hallelujah…which always made me think of Shrek. The Warblers had given the judges 'Whistle' by Flo Rida…who was neither foreign nor speaking in a foreign language…but hey only one of the three songs had to fit the bill and they managed that with their One Direction cover of 'Live While You're Young'. They had finished off with 'We Weren't Born To Follow', a song Ryder had to tell me was from Bon Jovi. Sometimes I forget he started off as a rocker not a bad actor.
The seniors were hella happy that we'd won. They were determined to take us all to Nationals again, even if the best voices were now among the juniors and sophomores. In reality, I think they were kind of relieved. They got to concentrate on their SATs, ACTs, and classes a lot more than they would have if they were the featured voices. We got to do a celebration song. The judges had heard about our rendition last year of a song that had broken hugely across the global music landscape since then, so we did Macklemore's 'Same Love', per their request. Unique and Tessa took the chorus while Steven and I handled the rap. It was different than last year's, but no less great…if I do say so myself. It was also bittersweet for those of us who were missing our older crew from the year before.
The time between sectionals and the November break flew by. The alumni New Directions all called or skyped in to congratulate us and Shelby. When they came home for Thanksgiving they took the time to reconnect with each other, but they also made time to touch bases with the younger crew. I introduced my siblings to Marley and she and Unique picked Mercedes brain for an hour about Jill Scott and recording and how it had felt to hear herself on the radio…which was totally cool by the way. Noah and Sam told me and Ryder, who'd popped up just to actually meet Sam, all about performing on a stage and singing with Rascal Flatts, whose music they'd had to introduce me to, 'cause I was not a country kind of guy.
It hadn't even been a full year since my brother noticed me and made me tell him who I was and yet everything in my whole world was different. Some good different, some bad different, some just plain different…but I was happy as hell. I finally really knew who the hell I was and it felt fucking awesome.
It's My Life (Bon Jovi)
Mercedes PoV
Thanksgiving break was a blast. We got to see a lot of our friends. I hated to slap Finn, but someone had to. Lauren was taking the high road and if we let shit lie until Christmas, Santana had a lot worse planned for him. Besides, someone needed to tell him that an apology was just the beginning of remorse. No one has ever learned anything without some type of consequences. The food and family were, as always, stellar. The Black Friday sales were killer. I got a new purse and Christmas gifts for Dad, the siblings, all eight of them and my guys. As we were passing a jewelry store, I stopped. "Can a girl get a guy an engagement ring? What does that even look like?"
Mills and Mom exchanged a look. "Baby, you can do whatever makes you happy." Momma told me with a big smile. "You, Sam and Noah have made it this far by doing what was right for you and not what the world around you wanted or expected."
"As for what it looks like? Just do you. Look around and see if there is anything that jumps out at you. Anything that screams Noah or Sam." Mills agreed. She got a text from Uncle Saulie and sighed. "Saul wants me to meet him in Macy's. He says he has a surprise for me."
Momma laughed and told her to go. "Might as well take advantage of the clueless guilt he's not sure why he is feeling. I saw an amazing black and white plaid, suede trimmed, cashmere Ralph Lauren poncho at Macys…if you get him to buy him that, I want you to let me borrow it."
Mills laughed and looked at my mom's much more expansive bosom then down at her own. "Yeah. I'll just convince him that he owes you an apology too and get it for you in your size." She finally said. "What about you Cede…anything good that you want?"
I chuckled, "There was a gorgeous Dooney and Bourke fuchsia shopper that I dream of owning…but if he gets it for me now, tell him to wrap it up for my Christmas gift." I said with a big innocent smile. I really did want that bag, but I'd have felt horrible if they gave me a two hundred thirty dollar purse for mostly feigned outrage. The guys had all slept in and once they finally woke up, they went to work readying Gabby's nursery. Daddy had already had a storage room in the basement finished off so that the baby could have a room down there with Gabby, rather than having to move everyone around and putting Sander and Gabs upstairs and Stevie and Stacey down in the basement. That weekend Kev, Dev, Puck, Sam and Stevie were painting and putting together the some of the smaller things the Dads hadn't had time to get to.
We'd grabbed a few things for the room while we were out shopping, and by a few things I mean everything we could think of that we saw and thought was cute. Mom and Gabby were going to go in together to get a Nanny for after Gabby's maternity leave was over. As soon as we got into the house the boys dragged us down to see the room. They had done the base color in Sherwin Williams Classic Sand, a warm light brown. The baseboards and simple crown molding had been painted a bright, happy, white. Then, in the corner of the room nearest the crib, they had used deep browns to create really realistic looking tree with big branches that became a border on the room's walls. One the wall behind the crib, hanging from the branches, were cute little vines with baby green leaves. Sam had taken his time and meticulously drawn and painted three little monkeys two of whom he'd given little hair bows on their ears…one purple and one teal. After a nice long shower to get all the paint off Sam and Puck and to let the water drown out the sounds of our pleasure, we chilled out with the family playing games and just enjoying our time together.
Saturday was spent in more bonding. Quinn had Beth and the rest of that portion of the family and they were getting to know James' family. She shot me a picture of Beth and James' mom that was totally adorable. Our family was pretty much divided into groups. A lot of the women were helping Becah, Pattie and Mills with wedding planning. While they were doing that, I was searching online for the rings I wanted to give to Sam and Noah for Christmas. Everyone was also talking with Gabby about how she was feeling and if she had pretty much everything she needed. Sam spent as much of his time home as possible with her. He hated the fact that he would miss the birth so much, Saul and the Dads had come up with a way to make it happen. Puck, Sam and I had to be back in classes Monday, but they had gone in together and gotten the three of us some open date tickets to get back as soon as she went into labor. She wasn't due until the twelfth, which was perfect timing since that was right in the middle of our study days and we could be back before finals.
At least that was the plan. We flew out on schedule on Sunday afternoon with Saul, Mills, Bubbie Ruth and Klaine and got back to our house in the early evening. Santana, Artie and Brittany had taken the time to clean up after the Lopez, Abrams and Pierce clans and Santana's aunts had left us dinner before they pulled out. We ate dinner, clowned around and watched a movie with Ryan and Seth, who had yet to leave to return to Princeton. He usually didn't pull out until Monday morning, getting back to his campus right on time for his first class. None of us blamed him or minded. The boy was funny and when you got him and Sam riffing off each other it was seriously dangerous… a total pee yourself level of hilarity.
Monday morning, I had to forgo my usual time in our home gym…oh such a tragedy…I did so hate to not work out. I smirked at the thought as I got dressed and did my hair and makeup so that I would be ready for the interview that I had that morning. Part of being in a movie and releasing songs on a soundtrack was promoting the work. I had gotten really lucky in that Jill was willing to handle all the face to face stuff leaving me free to continue my studies. I just needed to wake up at God awful o'clock to look good enough for a skyped in interview with a few dozen radio shows. The first one was set up to make me comfortable and help me get past my nerves. It was supposed to be the easiest one.
That Monday morning I was scheduled to speak with the Steve Harvey Morning Show. I was significantly less nervous about it since I knew him…sort of. At seven fifteen I'd been waiting on skype for a little over half an hour, blowing kisses at the webcam whenever they threw out a teaser for the coming interview. Finally the time had arrived. I turned down my radio and readied myself.
I'd elected to dress very well for the day, in a pair of skinny jeans and a great, bold colored, colorblocked vee-necked tunic sweater. I was sitting at my desk in the study with the wall of bookshelves behind me. I chose that location for a couple of reasons. It kept people pretty well out of our business; they couldn't see much of our house or personalities in there. With just bookshelves behind me, there was no window for them to catch a peek out of and try to figure out where I was, where we lived. There was also the fact that my device could stay on its charging platform the whole time and in the study the WiFi signal was at its strongest.
Mr. Harvey's producer Shirley Strawberry introduced us and Jill, in the studio, and me on Skype talked about the soundtrack and when the movie would be coming out. We delved into the movie's plot and what Jill and I loved about our characters and how race wasn't really an issue in the movie... Vivian and Lillian could just as easily have been white and little about the plot line would have been changed. We talked about working with each other and singing together. I told them how kind Malik Yoba had been. Shirley and Carla started teasing Jill and I about working with a hotty like Malik. I laughed and pointed out that Mr. Yoba was literally older than my dad and that my mother had dibs on that crush long before I was born.
"Alright, now Mercedes Jones…I know you from somewhere…where do I know you from?" Steve said once we'd handled business.
Nephew Tommy laughed. "Come on Unc. That's the little girl we met at James' graduation, his girlfriend's soul sister. They invited us to that big cookout." He led. "The one where that little white kid sounded like he had swallowed Al Green…no, Marjorie said he was the reincarnation of Teddy Pendergrass. Poor man died and came back and he still couldn't get out of the wheelchair."
I giggled. Daddy had said something similar the first time he heard Artie sing. "Mr. Harvey, Your nephew is really a great guy. He treats Quinn very well. In fact, we just saw James yesterday. He was with Quinn when she said goodbye before they headed back to Yale. And he came to New York to bring Que so she and her roommate Taylor could help us with a performance on Halloween."
"Oh yeah, you're the one with the two dentists for parents. I remember now. You've got them big, pretty teeth." Steve nodded.
"So glad he said Teeth." Shirley chuckled.
Steve continued undaunted. "And thank you. James really is growing into a fine young man. I'd take some credit but my sister would probably slap me for doing so."
Tommy smiled but decided to tease me and the audience. "You still with those two white boys? According to the ladies in the family both of your men are two different types of FIONE." His alter ego, Eugene, said flamboyantly.
I rolled my eyes. "Yes, Sam, Noah and I are still together. We have a song on the SongBird soundtrack as well…our group name is KAMA. Our debut album will be out next spring." I said smoothly. "And FINE doesn't even begin to describe my men."
"That's cool." Carla said before asking about which song and everything. When I answered, 'The Fighter', she about exploded, gushing all over the air waves. "I love that song. It's like an R&B/Rock/Alternative fusion. Never heard anything like it before but it was awesome."
"I'm glad you like it. We want our style to be different and yet stay true to who we are as a thruple, as our friends call us, and as individuals. When our album drops, you'll really hear the depth and breadth of our divergent influences and the blending of all of them as well."
"I've heard a few of those tracks and let me tell you. I cannot wait to buy it." Jill said her voice honest and her smile broad and sincere. "People, the music industry is about to be set on its ear by those three."
Carla signaled that it was time to wrap up, so Steve asked us what was next. I decided to be cheeky. "Well, I've got class in about an hour. Album or no I've got a degree to earn."
"Yeah, and don't let them grades drop either. If you manage to handle all of this and still come out this semester with a three five or higher Mike has to do an event for Blues Babe Foundation next year." Jill chided.
We all shared a laugh and out interview ended on a great note. Not five minutes later Jill called me to remind me that I would need to be skype accessible at two o'clock for an interview with Big Tigger in Atlanta and she would email me the needed information. I headed out making it to class just on time. I noticed that there were several people checking for me…looking at me strangely, but I brushed it off. Probably I should have paid more attention. By the time I left my English class, I had accomplished all I needed to for that day. I had a group of four other people and Blaine that would comprise my study group for the class. I did the same in my psych class, including Blaine again because, while we didn't have the class together we had the same teacher and same syllabus, just on different days and times then I rushed to Juilliard so that I could find an empty practice room to use for my second radio interview of the day.
Big Tigger was all about the music. He'd listened to every track of the soundtrack and he and Jill had a great rapport with each other. So the interview was easy and smooth until he threw out, "So, it's all over the blogisphere and the twitterverse that you're a freshman at Columbia…Ivy League…Nice. So what is it like trying to juggle so much stuff?"
"Oh wow. Didn't know it was out there… I mean what school I was attending. I'm making it work. My boyfriends and I, all three of us are doing cross registration, meaning that we take classes at both Columbia and Juilliard. Its work, but nothing worth having is ever easy, right? I'm sure there are plenty of people in this country who are working two or three jobs to hold stuff down. I don't think we have it that hard. You just do what you have to do to make your dreams come true." I answered in a little ramble. He caught me off guard with that little bit of information I'd hoped wouldn't come out for a while longer.
"That is a perfectly politically correct answer. Now, what's the real answer?" Tigger challenged.
I laughed merrily. "My friends call me Hermione Granger. Next week we don't have any classes because finals start Friday…I already have the schedule for myself, my boyfriends and our housemates done so that we can all study in groups without tripping all over each other."
"Oh wow…you really are anal retentive aren't you…that's so cute." he drawled. "And do your boyfriends and housemates have to follow your schedule or you go ham on them?"
"Naw. They are all grown folks…or at least technically. They can easily decide what works for them." I said honestly.
With that settled, Tigger asked me a few more things about the movie, the soundtrack and KAMA's album before he smirked. "Alright, now let's get down to the nitty gritty. Lil Miss Thang, I know that you didn't think you were gonna get away with dropping 'my boyfriends' this and 'my boyfriends' that and not tell us something, anything, everything…"
I sighed and gave a quick summary of my guys, our love and our relationship. "We'll celebrate our second anniversary together in April." I finished.
"Wow. That's wonderful. How do youse guys parents feel about your polyamorous relationship?" he asked sounding less like a DJ and more like a reporter.
"Our actual parents are very supportive. The only one who has had anything negative to say at all is my boo's biological and he can't judge because he didn't raise." I told him, keeping things one hundred.
Tigger chuckled. "I love that. He did help raise his child so he can't say anything about his choices. Ya hear that all y'all deadbeat parents? If you ain't put in, you need to stop trying to cast shade or get anything out. But for real, your black parents are cool with you being with two guys? Black parents are usually really religious."
I nodded. "My dad is a deacon in our church. But the truth is that Daddy has always been convinced that if it isn't explicitly forbidden by God then it isn't a sin. And by that I'm pretty much talking about the Ten Commandments or the words attributed to Christ as signified by the red ink in traditional bibles. A lot of what many Christians yell and scream about are actually negated by things Christ said. Homosexuality is preached about mainly in the old testament and in two letters from a man who was a prophet…but he was just a man. We have no way of knowing if that was really from God or if it was just that man's view on things. Then there is the fact that most latter biblical translations don't go back to the original text. They are translations of the Kings James version. King James was a rampant misogynist and, a lot of historians think, he was a repressed homosexual himself. There is no hate more pervasive and insidious than hate motivated by self-hate. I say all that to say we don't know what those original translators added just to please their king. They weren't willing to lie on Jesus or God but they could easily slip things in on the Letters to the Romans or Corinthians from Paul. I personally believe that God is Love. Preaching hate in his name is wrong and sinful in and of itself. Sorry to get all religious and soap boxy."
Tigger seemed unconcerned. "Don't bother me at all. Kind of blows me that you're talking like that and you're only a first semester freshman. Damn girl, you smart." He teased. "So when you were telling us about how you guys got together, you mentioned that you were bullied…"
"I was a thick black girl with extremely ethnic and urban taste in music, dress, and most of everything else in Middle America during a time when race relations are getting worse and worse. On top of that I was best friends with the school's out and proud gay boy and we were both singing all the time and joined the school's show choir. I had literally gotten slushied so many times I could tell you the different textures associated with the different flavors."
"I'd have been kicked out of school for beating the breaks off the first fool to throw some freaking ice in my damn face." Tigger growled. "And I really couldn't have been your Daddy…I'd have caught a case."
I laughed. "Daddy was always the easiest to talk down. He wanted me to learn to fight for myself in a way that held true to who I was and my Christianity. My mother on the other hand…she was all about wrecking those fools' worlds. She is a dentist…that means she was pretty much trained to torture people." I joked. "But in the end, my way worked best. By the time I was a senior, I was the NHSSCA National female soloist of the year, on the National Show Choir of the year, a National Championship winning cheerleader…I helped force our school to put an end to the slushying. Granted, that was mostly by proving to my fellow cheerleaders that just because I tried to be a good Christian, that didn't mean I couldn't be more ruthless, more cunning and more evil than all of them. Once they spread that word to their boyfriends…stuff started to change. It also helped that the biggest force of bullying had to change his ways if he wanted to graduate on time. Things also changed because when my guys, both of whom were really, really popular, started dating me and seemed so happy and uncaring about what others thought of them, that a few of the guys who had crushes on less popular girls...they went for it. We also left behind a crew of people who will continue to press for change."
"You know, you just described the biggest thing folks need to remember about bullies. If you show them that they are weaker than you…than they think you are…they are gonna back down. Hopefully your story can be a force for more global change in bullying. Way too many kids are dying because they are a little bit different." Tigger said grinning. He turned to Jill and made her tell him more about her Blues Babe Foundation and then we wrapped up.
The rest of that first week of December went much the same way. Most of the time Jill was on the show as well, in most cases she was in the studio while I was on the phone; but for the New York shows we flipped the script. Well not the Elvis Duran show, we both skyped in on that one. But for the most part the week went, up with the chickens to do an interview with a nationally syndicated morning show…or two; then in the afternoons we were on the phone with the regional shows, Tigger represented the south. Tuesday I called into the Frank Ski Show in DC. Wednesday I skyped with Tiffany on KUBE in Seattle. Thursday was relegated to the San Francisco Bay area and I talked with Dreena Gonzalez on WiLD 94.9. Friday we closed out the week in Chicago with UB Rodriguez.
As for the morning shows…they were the really interesting. After Steve Harvey on Monday, Tuesday was both a call in to Sway's XM radio show at eight and Sam, Noah and I were in studio at nine with the Power 105.1's Breakfast Club. Charlamagne and Puck should never be allowed to be in the same place at the same time. Once we were done talking up the movie and the soundtrack those two went nuts. They had so much fun clowning each other you'd have thought they were long lost bros. Then again with the way Paul Puckerman got around…who is to say? They had Angela, DJ ENVEY Sam and I rolling so hard my chest hurt by the time we left. Wednesday was both Ryan Seacrest and The Elvis Duran morning shows, and then Thursday I was on the phone with The Tom Joyner Morning Show first and then the Rickey Smiley Morning Show before I had to rush to make my first class. Friday morning was no joke. It was a New York Show, so Sam, Puck and I went to do it in person. We had to get dressed for real since the show we were on was simulcast on Sirius XM and as a webshow.
The Howard Stern show was huge. I never expected to be invited there. He was cool though, not like you'd expect a shock jock to behave. I will say that after we did the movie and soundtrack spiel, he asked more deeply probing questions than all of the previous interviewers combined. "So, Mercedes, you talked about getting bullied earlier this week. Not gonna make you rehash what it was like." Instead he played my answer to Tigger's question. "What I want to know is that now that you're blowing up…what would you really like to say to those people who bullied you while you took the higher ground?" was his opening shot.
I laughed. "You know, I'd like to say that I am so wonderful that I never look back and still feel anger or don't feel vindicated by how well my life seems to be going…"
"Seems to be going, Girl, you're attending an Ivy League college. you're in a movie the critics love, have the current number one single in both the US and UK for the last two weeks, you've got not one but two hot boyfriends…I think you can say your life is officially going well." Bronk said, his voice slightly tinged with a southern accent.
I couldn't help but smile. "Ok, feel vindicated by how well my life is going…but I kind of want to write a song like Kool Mo Dee's 'How Ya Like Me Now' or Jessie J's 'Who's Laughing Now'."
We all got a chuckle from that. Robin howled at the throw back to the early eighties rap but Howard spring-boarded that into asking me about my feelings about Jessie J's ability to write music and how I liked her singing. Of which, I couldn't respond with enough high praise and love. Howard seemed happy with that answer and so he moved on to what seemed to be his favorite subject. "Ok…so how do things work between the three of you sexually?" "Damn well." Was Sam's response.
But of course not one person on the show was satisfied with that answer. Even George Takei wanted to know more. "Really, are Sam and Puck always just with you, Mercedes, or are they sometimes together?"
Puck decided to take control of the interview from there. He knew that Sam and I would have used euphemisms and shaded terms that would never satisfy our host of interviewers. "We bone...all three of us together. We bone when it's just two of us and we need to bone. We make love together and separately. We're not a triangle…we're a pyramid." He told them simply.
Robin had her own question for us. "So you three can answer an argument George and I have been having for years. Who gives the best fellatio?"
Puck and Sam had a little nonverbal discussion before Sam answered, "overall, Mercedes…she has this thing she can do with her tongue that neither Puck nor I can figure out how to replicate."
"Ha. In your face Takei." Robin crowed. I thought that seemed a little out of character for her, but vindication can make you behave badly. "And, just for my own prurient interest…between you and Puck?"
Puck answered that one. "Look at those lips. I cannot compete. I'm not saying I don't give incredible head…I'm a sex shark I'm damn good at all things boning and boning adjacent, but just keepin' it real…Sam Evans' mouth is a thing of head giving beauty."
Howard Stern looked at his producer and mouthed 'Boning Adjacent?'. "What the hell is boning adjacent?" he finally asked Puck.
"All the stuff that gets you off other than actual sex. I mean look at it like this…you're with a real chick, a girl with self-respect who is not gonna let you hit it and quit it…like Cede here. Or one of the religiou-sos who are determined to wait for marriage…like a piece of paper really means anything. I mean divorce is everywhere and there isn't a state in the union that's gonna let the three of us get married, but that's okay cause we're already married in Yeshiva's sight. Anyway, back to my point. In either of those situations sex is off the table, right?"
"Right." Robin drawled as she looked at the camera like Puck was weird.
"Well there is still plenty of fun shit you can do that isn't actually sexing… like making out or getting head or eating at the Y or watching each other rub one out. That way you can learn each other before you actually bone. Or if she'd rigid about the whole no boning during Aunt Flo's visit…you can still get off."
"I've gotta use that...Boning Adjacent." Howard laughed as the rest of the crew looked baffled by the simplicity of Puck logic and felt stupid at having to have it explained. "So you'd respect a chick who wanted to wait for Marriage?"
"Hell yeah." Puck shot back. "It don't matter why a chick says no…if you don't respect what she says then your ass needs to be in jail. I'm serious as hell about that. Year before last some dude thought that Mercedes was up for grabs and he wouldn't listen when she said A…she was taken and B…she didn't want his big old Grimace looking ass even if she wasn't." He shook his head, "Me and Sam weren't having none of that. We beat the breaks off old dude and now his ass is doing like six years for attempted sexual assault. Now we're at Columbia and you know how those entitled rich boy are. We keep an eye out for our girl even when she don't know we're checkin' for that shit."
Robin nodded. "I know there are plenty women out there who will say that you guys aren't her father…but you know what, with the current rape cultures on way too many college campuses…I say good for you."
Howard however wanted more details. "Now, I'm not trying to be sizeist or racist or anything, but I'm sure that you're gonna get the questions…so I want my listeners to be able to say they heard it first. Mercedes is not what Hollywood and the fashion industry currently say is sexy. You're what Mercedes a size eighteen?"
"Sixteen…fourteen if it is cut well. Eighteen if the sizes run small." I said honestly.
"So a size sixteen, she is African American and she has very well I guess African features. A wide nose, deep brown eyes. Full…very very full lips." A naughty impulse made me drag my tongue sexily over my lips then pucker up and blow him a kiss. He started to stutter a little.
Robin scoffed. "Get to your point Howard."
"I'm sorry…but we were talking about head and the thing she does with her tongue…got a little distracted there. Anyway. Explain to the listener why two very fit, muscular, I'm sure that everyone will agree that you're attractive white guys are with her."
Sam rolled his eyes. But Puck beat him to the punch with his answer. "Man you just said it yourself. Our woman is sexy as hell. Stick figures may do it for some guys. Heck, one of our friends prefers his girls tall and rail thin or shorter and barely curvy. But check Mercedes out, I'm not trying to be crass…though both of my boos will tell you that it pretty much my natural state… Cede's boobs are huge, and her ass matches. She might have a thicker waist, but it dips in just right for holding her hips when she's riding the D or when we're hittin' it from behind. Her thighs are thick and soft and feel fantastic wrapped around my head or hips. Plus she does yoga every day so she is all kinds of flexible and has a lot of stamina…if that isn't the definition of sexy for a woman then what the hell is?"
"Both Puck and I prefer our woman be exactly as God made her." Sam continued. "She is beautiful inside and out. She is sexier than any woman I've ever seen before and that includes the crush I had on her mom the first time I saw her."
"You had a crush on my Mom?" I gasped.
Sam blushed so red it was hilarious. "Yeah just a little one though. And maybe on your Aunt Ricki…But in my defense, those were just little 'Wow, she is so pretty, I see where Mercy gets her gorgeous eyes or smile from' crushes."
"Sorry Sam, I'm calling bullshit. Those were just little 'Wow she's so pretty I see where Cedes gets her sexy tits or bodacious ass from' crushes." Puck chimed back in. "Seriously guys if you're in the Midwest and you have the chance to get to know any of the women shaped like Cede with the last name Jones…take the chance. Her aunts and cousins are hilarious. In fact, even if you don't go for that particular type, I personally think you're crazy but to each their own, still take the time to get to know a curvy girl they tend to be funnier and less high maintenance and just cool chicks."
"There is a lot to be said for cool chicks." Howard laughed.
Puck chuckled. "Cool chicks and smart chicks. Cede is both. Cool is great for the woman when you're out and about…smart is great cause they can make your life better in and out of bed."
"Hold up…explain that for us." Howard pressed.
I hid my face before he could even start. I knew that he was going to go there. We'd even talked about how to handle the Howard Stern interview expressly. It was the only one that Jill wasn't doing with us at all and it was also the one that we knew would be Puck's favorite and his time to shine. We'd talked about it with Christian and Deborah and everyone agreed that we should just let Puck be Puck. It would be the best way to make Howard happy with the interview. That didn't change the fact that this was probably about to be embarrassing. Complimentary, but embarrassing.
"Well first of all without her help there is no way that me and Sam would have gotten into an Ivy League school. She has a great ability to make even boring subjects like history and English come alive. Secondly, Cede reads. She reads tons of stuff including erotica and other sexy shit. That makes her inventive as hell in bed. She comes up with the hottest shit…Hell; she helped me and Sam figure out the mechanics of boning each other. Oh my god, the first time Sam boned me…Mercedes did all the prep work, I was ready to climb the wall before he even got the condom on that shit was so good." He reached over and ran a finger down my neck. "She might not be perfect, but she is totally perfect for me and Sam."
"That is so cool." Howard nodded. "I mean people come in and always talk about the romantic aspects of their relationships and we can tell that isn't gonna last because eventually they are gonna realize that chicks fart too and guys never remember to put down the toilet seat… or they come in and all they see is the sex, and that won't last either because you can't just fuck every single moment of every single day. But you three you seem to realize that you're each real people with faults and issues and you accept each other's foibles. Hell, you enjoy them. That's cool. I hope that you're really successful cause I want to have you three back here again." He said when his producer started to force him to wrap up.
The next two weeks Jill and Malik were handling all of the press so I could focus on prepping and finals. The whole house was working our asses off trying to maintain our scholarships and keep our GPAs high enough that the parents didn't decide that we were doing too much side shit. So it wasn't surprising that we all scheduled study groups for all our classes. When I was making up the schedule templates, I'd given us each a different area to work in. Sam had the family room on our side. Artie the family room on theirs. Britts had the dance rehearsal room in their side in the mornings, and Kurt had it in the afternoons. Blaine's groups, when he wasn't in with mine, were in Bartana's dining room while mine were in ours. Santana had hers in their study while Puck kept his crew to ours. Somewhere amid all the studying that we had to do, I had to schedule time for Kurt, Bubbie and I to meet with Anika, to pick out an outfit for the SongBird Premiere which was happening right in the middle of Finals week. While I hated to wait until the last minute the only real time I could devote to shopping was the Saturday after my first day of finals. Before I realized it though, the time for studying was over.
Sam's finals schedule was the most spread out. He and Puck had their Humanities final Friday morning and then he had one Monday, two Tuesday morning and followed that with his Juilliard performance finals on Thursday afternoon. Puck had what seemed like the easiest setup. Two Columbia finals Friday, two more on Monday and then both his Juilliard finals on Thursday. Mine schedule, however, was killer. I had two exams Friday morning at Columbia, then I had to race to Juilliard for my vocal performance final. Monday morning I had my other Juilliard final, rhythm and performance, then it was back to Columbia's campus for Blaine and I to share a huge testing room while all of Dr. Metcalf Psychology one hundred level students took our final. My last Columbia final, thankfully finished that same evening. I had the late six o'clock final for my statistics class but since that meant that I'd have all day Tuesday to prepare for the red carpet that night, I was not complaining at all.
But of course…God does love to laugh at all our planning.
Your Mission...if you chose to accept it...
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