Don't Touch My Brother

Chapter Seven

Sam Winchester's Hospital Room, Grand Rapids, Michigan:

Tessa sighed, keeping her hand on the still chest of Sam Winchester. This hadn't been her most difficult case but it certainly came close.

She knew her boss had taken a special interest in the Winchester brothers since these two had been mucking up the natural order of things for quite some time but even she wasn't certain if Death had made the right choice this time.

Keeping her eyes on Sam for a moment longer, Tessa knew she'd allowed herself to get too distracted even before she heard the pistol cocking and a grip much stronger than she thought possible at the moment grabbed the wrist of the hand she still had on Sam's chest.

"I was wondering if you'd wake up," she sighed, moving her eyes from the peaceful face of Sam over to the more than furious face of his pissed off older brother. "You had to know I'd come."

Hating to fall asleep in a chair, much less the chairs in most hospitals, Dean had jerked awake when something warned him that he wasn't alone in his brother's room.

It took all of five seconds for him to recognize the slender raven haired young woman touching his brother and less than that to go from half asleep and cranky to fully awake and fully pissed off.

"I just got into a screaming match with an Angel who could kill me with a blink!" he snapped, pushing to his feet and dragging her away from Sam all in one move; all the while not considering what Tessa could really do if she wanted to. "I fall asleep for a few minutes and you sneak in? You didn't have the goddamn right to take him, Tessa!"

She'd seen a lot of different sides to Dean Winchester since meeting him but this was one she hadn't seen before, the scared older brother who had just lost the only thing left in the world that he cared anything for. "Dean…"

Waking up to see Tessa and to realize what she'd done had forced a mixture of emotions to come out all at once and now he was at a loss to what he was supposed to do. "He wouldn't have died, Tessa. Sam wasn't going to die," he argued, not even aware of when she got her wrist free or that she reached to take his pistol to sit it aside as he paced the room now like a caged lion.

"Sonuvabitch!" he slammed the fist of his injured shoulder into the wall but didn't take notice of either his now bloody knuckles or the hole in the wall. "He was not going to die!"

"Dean, Sam was hurt and without that surgery…" Tessa began when Dean's pain-filled eyes locked onto hers before he dropped next to the bed and she got it. "You were going to let them…take his leg?" she whispered, not seeing this.

Pain, loss, and anger were all clear of Dean's rugged face as he shot the Reaper a look as if she'd lost her mind. "He's my baby brother! Of course I would've have if it meant saving his life!" he yelled, having come to that decision before falling to sleep. "Did I know what it would mean for him? For me? Hell, yes, I knew that but I didn't care. He was Sammy, he's been my pain in the ass little brother since my Mom put him in my arms for the first time and you had no damn right to take him like this!"

Once again just when she thought she had them figured out the Winchester brothers never failed to surprise her. "You would have taken all that on?" she asked curiously, stepping closer but still keeping a safe distance but knew by this point Dean's grief was too strong. "You knew even with the leg gone, his mind might never heal?"

"What part of 'he's my brother' aren't you getting, babe?" Dean shot back, fury now overtaking grief for the moment as he pushed back to his feet with a glare for the Reaper. "This is your boss's idea of figuring out the big mystery? He should know that I won't do a damn thing without Sam so you may as well save as both the hassles and take me now."

"I…can't do that, Dean," Tessa replied, having seen this reaction coming and hoping she could head it off before the full blown confrontation happened. "It isn't your time."

"Isn't my time?" he repeated, not sure he'd heard that right. "You just killed my brother, a kid I've given my soul for, and you say this isn't my time?"

Looking around, Dean spotted his Colt and grabbed it before Tessa could think to move it or stop him. "Tell me that after I've put a round from this in my skull cause I will be damned if I'll keep doing this crap without the kid I promised to look after," he told her seriously.

"Dean, wait a minute!" Tessa urged, stepping forward only to pause. "You don't want to do that."

"One reason. Give me one damn good reason why I wouldn't?" Dean demanded, shifting his hand so his grip was better on the pistol when something light seemed to brush against the hand closest to the bed but he was too preoccupied to notice or pay attention until he noticed the way Tessa's eyes had turned and again he felt something trying to touch his fingers.

"Is that reason enough?" Tessa asked with a gentle, almost reassuring smile toward the bed.

Suspicious of anything by this point, Dean was leery of looking away until this time something else caught his attention and his attention was instantly drawn to the bed and by the weak, whisper soft voice trying to get his attention.

"Sam?" at first he thought it was a trick of either his exhaustion or the Reaper until he realized what he'd felt trying to touch his fingers had been his brother's weak attempts to grab his hand. Then he felt himself dropping to his knees next to the bed to grip those same weak fingers in his own and held on. "Sammy?"

Relief and confusion striking him, it took Dean several seconds to realize that a lot of his brother's more serious wounds seemed to either be diminished or healed completely. "Did you…I thought you were…"

"The boss just said to remind you about the natural order of things," Tessa replied, seeing that Dean remembered those words well. "He said if Sam died you'd more than likely do something stupid and mess it up more plus it wasn't Sam's time. He also said to remind you of what he said about the souls being important and to watch your back," she once again looked down before stepping back. "He's not all the way back. Talk to him, Dean. He needs to hear you."

"Sammy?" moving so he could sit on the edge of the bed, Dean kept a firm grip on Sam's hand while he placed his other flat on his brother's chest like he would when needing to assure Sam that he was safe and felt the rapid heartbeat as he struggled to wake up fully and understand where he was to what he remembered. "Hey, little brother, take it easy. You're safe and I'm right here."

Sam's memories were a little unclear at the moment at his body tried to readjust to still being alive. He could still feel pain but knew he wasn't in as much as he should've been.

He remembered the attack; he remembered the abuse he'd suffered at that cabin and he especially remembered feeling the blows that he'd known instantly had ruined his knee and leg.

Sam knew he'd seen Tessa and he knew what she was probably supposed to be there to do. He'd been in between choosing against the pain and being a burden on those he cared for or coming back if only to keep his brother from self-destructing.

He hadn't wanted to pain or memories. He hadn't wanted to be a burden if his mental injuries left him too badly hurt that he couldn't even think. Yet it was the thought of abandoning his brother that had made him choose to come back, to face possibly having his leg amputated and being seriously mentally impaired rather than allow Dean to be alone or let his brother drift too far down that dark path again.

"… …" trying to speak, Sam nearly choked and that brought on the panic he'd been fighting since realizing he could hear Dean and that he could move his fingers enough to try to reach his brother.

"Hey, Sam, calm down and listen to me," Dean urged, careful to keep his tone firm to get through to Sam but managed to also keep it from being too sharp as he fell back to a quieter tone he only used when his brother had been younger and hurt. "You are nothing but tubes, wires, and stuff. Let me get a doctor or…Sammy…"

Weak fingers struggled to grip Dean's other hand as it still laid on Sam's chest while the hand that was still being held managed to hold on tighter as if not wanting his brother to leave and slowly Dean understood.

Neither Winchester cared for hospitals much but out of the two of them Sam especially hated them and Dean knew why.

Sam had been five years old when he'd come down with a cold that over time had spread into his lungs and by the time John returned from the hunt he'd been on he'd found his oldest son in a near panic because he hadn't been able to stop his little brother from throwing up and he was burning with a fever that was high enough that John knew the younger boy needed medical help.

"Look at me," he ordered, carefully reaching up to touch the side of Sam's face to urge eye contact. "Sammy, look at me."

Dean waited until eyes that were still too big moved to lock onto his own and prayed that Sam would understand him since he still wasn't certain what the hell Tessa had done or how much Sam had been healed. "I know you're scared and confused but you're safe and I'm right here with you."

Guessing the oxygen mask was causing a lot of his brother's anxiety right then, Dean hesitated before offering up a muttered curse then moved to take it off and didn't miss the flash of relief in those big hazel eyes or the way Sam relaxed more once the mask was gone.

"You are so explaining to Bobby why I'm not screaming for a nurse," he told Sam with what he honestly hoped was a steady voice because the moment the mask was gone he heard the two words his brother was able to get out past split lips and a dry mouth.

Hesitating a second to be sure he'd gotten the two words right it took Dean another couple seconds to be able to try to speak without letting his voice break. "Yeah. Yeah, Sammy, I'm good," he assured him, adding with a smile that he would only use with his brother. "We're both good and that's how it's gonna stay."

"… stay?" Sam didn't want to be alone, he didn't quite trust that this was real yet even as he watched the hand gripping his tighten enough that he could feel it more. Then he noticed the black band on his wrist and remembered his near panic when it was taken and tossed. "…De'n?"

"Yeah, this is yours," Dean assured him after seeing where Sam's eyes were at but chose to wait until his brother was more awake to ask about the amulet. "And yeah, I'll stay with you."

Sam was clearly exhausted, his eyes kept trying to close but he struggled to stay awake as if he didn't want to risk falling back to sleep only to find out this was nothing but a dream. He wanted to stay awake, to keep his eyes locked on his brother whom he noticed looked probably as tired as Sam felt.

"Here, try a sip of this," Dean had poured a little ice water into a small cup that had been sitting next to the bed and after casually laying a testing hand on his brother's stomach to see if it felt rigid or if Sam looked in pain decided some water would help.

Having to release the grip he'd kept on Sam's hand since realizing his brother was still alive, the elder Winchester moved so he could lean closer in order to help Sam ease up enough to find the straw. "Sip it. You're still pretty dehydrated so just sip it or else I'll be having Sheriff Mills using 'Mom' tone on me again," he declared, knowing the risks of letting his brother drink too much, too fast.

Setting the cup aside for later, Dean was about to move back only to have Sam's still stiff fingers suddenly latch onto his shirt with a grip that was almost more like desperation than anything else.

Covering the grimace that he felt like since in his haste to latch on, Sam's hand had brushed against the shoulder that had been shot, Dean looked up in question only to get the answer the moment he met Sam's eyes and recognized the things that his little brother felt and wanted to ask but was still hesitant given their recent problems.

Ever since they'd been kids, Sam had been to wear his heart and emotions on his sleeve and Dean had always been able to read those emotions no matter if they were ones that Sam tried to keep hidden.

It had only been more recently that Sam had learned to hide his emotions better and had kept them from showing in his eyes as much as they once had. Except since getting his soul back had returned Sam's emotions state back to an earlier time, a time when his deeper wants or emotions would show in the big hazel eyes.

When Sam had been younger and he'd either be hurt, sick, or scared he'd want to find comfort or reassurance and usually he'd look to his older brother for those things.

Sam hadn't reached out willingly for that kind of reassurance in a long time. The closest he'd come was the morning he'd finally woken up ten days after having his soul returned.

"C'mere, Sam," Dean knew his voice sounded gruffer than he wanted but the emotions he was struggling to bury until he had time alone to process all of this made it difficult to keep it level as he reached out and let out a shaky breath the moment he felt his brother grab on and hold on as tightly as his weakened arms would allow right then. "It's okay, little brother. It's all alright now and I promise that this will never happen again."

Exhausted and still in pain, Sam heard the change in Dean's voice and knew his brother was fighting to cover emotions that he'd never allow him to see or hear but right then all Sam knew was that this was real. He was still alive and as he returned the full, rarely given hug he wasn't going to question the how or why yet when he just wanted to believe what his brother was saying.

Distracted by keeping Sam calm, Dean failed to notice the wire pulled out of Sam's IV until the door opened to allow a perky nurse to peek in.

One look had the nurse checking again to be certain she was seeing things correctly then she let out a shout for the attending physician and Dean knew it would be some time before he and Sam would be able to talk fully.

"You're doctor's names McFadden, the head nurse will remind you of Bobby in drag and Bobby, Rufus, and Sheriff Mills are here. She will more than likely use 'Mom' tone the first chance she gets on you and I am not leaving you alone, Sammy," Dean informed his now tensing sibling as he eased back but kept a firm, almost protective hand on Sam's shoulder while turning to face the door as several alarmed and confused people came barging in. "Rethink the suggestion that I leave him because I will shoot the first person who says it."

Two Hours Later:

"Stop growling," Bobby ordered from his seat down the hall. "You are so damn lucky she hasn't either shot you or arrested you by now."

"I can't arrest him until we're back in Sioux Falls," Jodi Mills piped up from where she sat reading a magazine, lifting her eyes up to peek at the highly peeved hunter prowling the hall. "I suppose I could shoot him."

"I promised him I wouldn't leave him!" Dean was pissed and it showed in the way his teeth clenched as he paced the hall in front of the closed door. "He just woke up. He's scared and he won't know how to answer them if they start asking too many questions about how he's healed as much as he is."

Rufus handed Bobby a cup of coffee from the vending machine without bothering to mention that he'd doctored it up. "How exactly do you plan on explaining that?" he asked curiously, still a little iffy on that whole story himself. "Kinda hard to tell 'em the truth unless you want locked in a padded room."

"I've been lying to doctors since before I was ten. I can handle this," Dean had his doubts since explaining that an Angel of Death had healed his brother rather than claim him was pushing even his best skills. "If that doesn't work, there's Plan B."

"Caleb shoulda been shot for ever teaching you that plan," Bobby groused, explaining to Rufus and Jodi what Dean's next plan would be. "Either sign Sam out AMA or…sneak him out."

As Jodi was winding up for a lecture against that plan, Dean tuned them out. His concentration was on the room and his brother.

He'd known that McFadden would have to see how much Sam had healed or what hadn't healed but he'd planned to stay with his brother while that was being done.

Sam hated doctors, he hated hospitals and he hated strangers, especially if those strangers had to touch him. Dean had seen the fear in Sam the moment he'd been bullied out of the room and only Dean's promise to be right outside the door had kept his little brother from going into a full blown panic attack.

Now, two hours later Dean's anxiety over it taking so long was making him even edgier when he heard the door open and he pounced on McFadden the moment the man stepped into the hall.

"How is he?" he demanded, continuing without waiting a beat. "How's his leg? His head? Can I go back in?"

"I'm not certain how to write this in my reports but…he's…alive," McFadden began, clearly confused but deciding it best if he didn't ask too many questions. "According to all the X-rays, the CT scans, the MRIs, your brother's more serious wounds are healed.

"His leg and knee show signs of some minor breaking but certainly nothing like the damage that he had before. He'll need to stay off of it as much as possible for at least a weak then begin some light PT to regain the strength but it's healed," he shook his head wryly. "You and Sam must have someone upstairs who like you that this miracle happened."

Dean snorted. "Yeah, maybe," he murmured, knowing that once upon a time he could've said that but knew that his brother's life was spared not from above but from someplace else. "The head trauma and internal bleeding?" he hadn't given much thought to Sam's mental state since he knew the kid always was slow to be coherent after being injured seriously.

Now he was concerned if Tessa had healed all of Sam or if she'd left the more fragile part of him to stay hurt on top of a wall in his mind that could shatter at a moments notice.

"He's was quiet while we did the tests but he knew his name, his date of birth, your name, etc," McFadden replied, seeming pleased with this result and surprised by the grim look on Dean's face. "The tests all came back as fine so I think it's safe to say that his mind is as good as it was…which I'm sure you'll be able to tell better."

"So, can I see him?" Dean figured Bobby could handle any questions but right then he just wanted to check on Sam, to be with him and to judge for himself if this doctor knew what the hell he was saying.

Wanting to suggest that the young man go get some rest, some food and have his own wound rechecked, McFadden noticed the way Dean's facial muscles were tensing and decided against making that suggestion. "Yes, you can go in and see him," he replied, calling out at the last second. "Mr. Winchester? Dean, I meant what I said. You are a lucky man and Sam's lucky to have you for a brother."

"You're half right, Doc," Dean returned with his hand on the knob. "I'm lucky alright. I'm lucky to have Sam for a brother. As for the rest of that…I'm not so sure. Excuse me."

Bobby sighed at overhearing that comment and once again hated how those boys were raised that Dean, who had given so much for his brother and for their father, would think so little of himself. "Damn idjit," he muttered, hearing a phone ring and realizing that it was his and scowling at the number. "Now what?"

Stepping into the now nearly empty hospital room, Dean took a moment to lean against the door to try to focus past all the emotions that had been building the past several days and what the next few would bring.

"Dean?"

The voice sounded tired and raspy but right then it also made Dean jump since he hadn't expected his brother to be awake and he'd been hoping for at least five minutes to figure out what he was going to say to him.

"Dean, you…okay?"

Sam had tried to sleep but between doctors asking questions he wasn't about to answer, to having tests run to see if he was still hurt as badly as he had been, to still being a little leery of falling asleep fully he'd been laying in the bed carefully testing for himself where he still had pain and if his leg would move.

He'd seen his brother come in and instantly caught how pale Dean seemed and the minute he seen him just lean against the door with his head bowed, Sam knew something was wrong.

When he failed to get a reply a second time, he considered trying to see just how bad his leg was still hurt by standing on it but the second he moved and the bed made a sound Sam knew without looking that he had intense green eyes pinning him.

"Try it and I can promise you will either faceplant or I'll have a very testy lady Sheriff jumping down my throat for the fifteenth time since all this started," Dean warned, pushing off the door to approach the bed while making a shooing motion. "You trying to get me killed or give me more stress, Sam?"

"You didn't answer me so I wasn't sure if you heard me or if something was wrong," Sam replied, deciding he was still too tired and sore to sulk about being shooed like a child. "Is…something wrong?" he wasn't certain how to take his brother at times these days and right now Dean looked worried which cause some concern in Sam.

Hearing the change of voice and taking a guess what his brother was thinking, Dean waved a hand while reaching to pull the chair back then decided to just sit on the bottom on the hospital bed to take a good look at Sam.

Knowing and accepting that even reapers had their limits, Dean wasn't expecting Sam to look a hundred percent so the bruises still on his face and arms didn't concern him. The hospital t-shirt and loose pants allowed him to check for the outline of bandages and since Dean knew were most of the welts and burns had been, he only saw a few bandages left which reminded him to check for himself how bad those still were.

There were three wounds that concerned Dean the most: Sam's head, the deepest brand that had been infected the most and his leg and knee.

Fingers snapped in front of his face reminded Dean that he'd been staring for the past couple minutes and hadn't heard a single word that Sam had been saying. "Come again?"

"I know I still have a slight concussion, but did you get hit in the head too hard or is something still really wrong with me that you're acting this weird?" Sam demanded, surprised when the wrist he'd been lowering was grabbed. "Dean?"

Pushing up the sleeve of the hospital shirt, Dean looked for the signs of welts or burns that he'd seen on his brother before and was relieved to see that most of those had been healed or were barely visible. "What about the rest?" he asked upon feeling Sam tense.

"Most of the stuff's gone," Sam clearly didn't want to discuss this and it was plain when he nearly mumbled the reply then sighed when he felt the grip on his wrist tighten in a way that he knew meant his brother wouldn't let go until he answered him.

"X-rays showed two broken ribs and a cracked one," he began quietly, moving the blanket aside so he could lift the shirt up far enough to allow his brother to see the few welts that had been left but knew the moment Dean's jaw clenched that he'd seen the branded scar that had been left on his side. "Dean…"

"That she left?" Dean scowled, wondering why of all the other wounds Tessa had healed that she'd left that damn brand even if it had healed so it wasn't as deep.

"Considering I could be a vegetable with one missing leg I think Tessa did good," Sam winced as a wound on his back stung as he tried to get more comfortable.

Knowing that and accepting that were two different things in Dean's book but he'd deal with those wounds. Right then it was the other two things his brother mentioned that he wanted to test. "What was your LSAT score?" he asked out of the blue, then held his breath at the blank look he received.

"You serious?" Sam wasn't sure where that question had come from or why until he noticed the way Dean's hand was clenching and unclenching, a sure sign that his older brother was nervous and hiding it. "Do you even know my LSAT score?"

"Cute, nice way to trick me into giving you the answer, now give it," Dean shot back, putting in sourly. "Besides, I could tell you to recite the first half of the exorcism spell…in Latin."

A tired bitch face was given before Sam finally rattled off both his last LSAT score of 174 and the full rites of exorcism in Latin then offered a smirk much like the one his brother was fond of using. "Happy now?"

"Show off," Dean muttered, careful to hid his smile behind his hand since only his little brother could rattle off the full exorcism spell in Latin in less than two minutes then give him lip. "Now move your leg and I'll be happy."

"Didn't you talk to a doctor?" Sam groused, going to move as if to stand up then thought twice at the sharp 'don't even think it look' that was aimed his way and he decided to settle on just moving his leg up in the bed so his suddenly manic brother could see it move.

The slight pain was still evident when Sam gritted his teeth but both Winchesters knew that some pain was inevitable considering that it had been a ruined mess before Tessa healed it.

"The doctor said it'll be weak and I'll have to be careful on it for awhile but it'll be fine," Sam told him, easing it back down and wondering how long he could cover the pain when two pills from the nightstand were pushed into his hand along with the glass of water.

"Actually, the Doc said you had to stay off of it for at least a week then some light PT," Dean remarked with a knowing big brother smirk, nodding to the water. "Take the pills, Sam or I will hold your nose closed until you do."

"Jerk," Sam muttered but swallowed the pills, noticing the way Dean had tensed at the use of the once so common teasing insult between them. "Want to talk about it now?"

Sitting the glass aside, Dean was wondering when to bring up the amulet when he looked over at the question. "Talk about what?" he deadpanned, hoping he could stay off this topic until he'd had at least an hour of sleep.

"You're on edge and pissed off so do you want to talk about me being stupid enough to get jumped in Bobby's own house by a pair of morons now or wait until you've brooded more?" Sam asked curiously, letting his eyes drop to the blanket where his fingers were absently playing with the black bracelet much like he would as a kid and nervous.

Dean felt like groaning but didn't. He supposed he should've known his big brained little brother would take his tenseness and gruffer than normal voice as being angry with him over crap no one could've seen but reminded himself that he'd certainly given Sam enough cause to think so little of himself these past few years.

"Sammy," he used the slightly exasperated voice he used when not wanting to talk but caught the way Sam was shifting and knew he was stuck either facing this now or letting Sam believe something so wrong. "Yeah, I'm on edge and I am pissed."

That admission made Sam begin to bite his lip, another nervous habit he'd had a kid that he'd began using more recently and because Dean knew his brother he decided to put a stop to the next few reactions by reaching up to place a hand on the back of Sam's neck to squeeze it lightly like used to when needing to offer support to his brother without speaking it.

Still on edge after all that he'd been through Sam automatically jumped at the touch to his neck then his eyes shot to Dean's and he was surprised not to see the more expected anger or disappointment. Instead his brother's green eyes were calm, understanding and showing more unexpressed emotion than Sam had seen in years.

"I'm on edge because I was shot. I have a cracked rib and haven't really slept more than an hour in more than five days," Dean began in a more subdued voice, easing up closer so he didn't have to stretch to keep his hand on Sam's neck; which he knew he needed to do right then as he went on. "I'm pissed because (A) I was out chasing vampires with Rufus when those dimwits attacked, (B) I didn't get to that damn cabin soon enough, (C) I should've went in guns blazing before the bastard could hurt you that bad and (D) I was too caught up in my own hate to get you the help you needed.

"That translates into I'm pissed at everyone but you, little brother," he let his fingers tighten just enough to tell Sam he was serious but not hurt him since Dean was careful of any leftover welts or bruises his brother might have. "This wasn't your fault, Sam. You couldn't have known Walt would attack or how far off the rails he'd gone. I should've and I should've been there for you, with you and I sure as hell should've stopped the bastard before he used that damn bat on your knee."

Blinking as he tried to make sense of what his brother was saying, Sam suddenly remembered the one reason he'd fought to come back and not pass over. He'd known Dean's guilt would eat at him and now he knew he'd guessed right.

"You were out with Rufus because it was what we do and no, I knew I probably wasn't ready to face vampires yet. You got to me a helluva lot faster than they were expecting you to. If you would've come in guns blazing you and I both know what that outcome would've been and Dean, I was already hurt too bad inside before you got there," Sam told him, knowing the last comment wouldn't go over well even before he saw Dean's eye twitch like it did sometimes.

"I'll ignore the last one for right now," Dean decided but he understood what Sam was trying to say. "You know I would've been there sooner if I could've, right?" he asked, moving his hand from Sam's neck down to his shoulder.

Thinking he knew what Dean was probably considering, Sam slowly nodded then reached up to grasp the hand on his shoulder. "I know that, Dean," he replied, hesitating a beat before lifting his eyes to meet and hold his brother's. "I have never doubted that you'd always come if I was in trouble. You're my big brother and that's why I still look up to you…well, figuratively at least."

The last little remark didn't go unnoticed by Dean as he shifted his grip on Sam's shoulder so he could turn his hand over in order to grip Sam's wrist while with his other hand he gave a light tap to the back of his brother's head. "Bitch," he smirked, feeling himself relax a little. "Way to kill the chick flick moment I was willing to give you, Sammy."

Noticing that Sam still was a little too on edge warned Dean that there were probably more things about Sam's time with Walt and Roy that he wouldn't like once he weaseled it out of his brother, he chose to wait on that in favor of bringing up the one other little thing that had been bugging him.

"Hey, Sam? Were you planning on telling me you had this anytime soon?" he asked casually.

Looking toward Dean, Sam's eyes immediately caught sight of the small gold amulet dangling from his brother's hand and felt his breath catch.

Sam had picked the amulet up out of the trashcan where it had been dropped after that mess in Heaven had happened and Dean had finally been pushed to the limit.

He'd known that the Angels were trying to drive them apart and finally what Dean had seen up there that were supposed to have been Sam's best memories, ones without his family, had caused his older brother to lose what faith he still had in him.

The sound of the amulet dropping into the trashcan was still one Sam could hear if he concentrated hard enough. He had known that whole time that he and Dean were getting more strained but it wasn't until his brother willingly dropped the amulet that Sam understood just how bad it was since Dean had never once taken the tiny little gold amulet off since the Christmas it had been given to him.

Only when Castiel had asked for it in his search for God did Dean take it off, since Sam didn't count the time his brother was in Hell, and then Sam knew it had hurt his brother to let the Angel borrow the amulet.

Sam had retrieved it, keeping it in his duffel bag in the hopes that one day he'd either feel safe enough to return the amulet to his brother or that Dean would find it when he went through Sam's duffel if the plan to stop the Apocalypse fell through.

Even while soulless, Sam didn't stop considering the amulet once he learned that in that time apart that his brother had never cleaned out the duffel and found it. He knew he'd considered giving it back during that time but something stopped him, an inner feeling that warned that returning it then wouldn't have been what Dean would've wanted since Sam knew he wouldn't have had the emotions to give back.

Now as he watched the amulet dangle on its black cord from Dean's hand, he wasn't certain what to say or do since he wasn't sure how Dean would react now that he knew that Sam had picked it up and held onto it.

"I…wasn't sure if you'd want it back yet considering what I did," Sam finally replied, biting his lip again and feeling his heart sink a little as his brother let go of his wrist in order to step a little away from the bed; which was always a bad sign in Sam's mind. "Didn't think so," he whispered, looking to where Dean was standing. "Just don't toss it away again, please. I know we still have issues and I know I have a lot to fix but please, Dean, I need to still believe that one day we can be brothers again or…"

Dean had stepped away from the bed to try to get a better handle on the emotions he knew if he let out would embarrass them both. Now as he heard what Sam was saying and heard the soft break in his brother's already soft voice he turned back to stare.

"Exactly how much drugs do they have you pumped up with?" he asked, rolling his eyes only to realize that Sam wasn't reacting due to drugs. He really did think that things were still so messed up between them that Dean wouldn't want the amulet back. "Sammy," he sighed, looking at the amulet in his hand and knowing he had Sam's full attention as he moved to put it back on and felt the familiar weight of it fall against his chest, a weight that he hadn't realized he'd missed until he felt it again.

"I went back for this the night after but the manager of the motel said that nothing like it had been found," he began lowly, sitting back on the edge of the bed and knew Sam's eyes were glued to the amulet even as his fingers traced absent sigals onto the blanket. "Sammy, I need you to listen to me or try to since we both know your brain is probably fuzzed.

"I came to the conclusion late that most of not all of what went on in Heaven had been Zach's way of pushing us farther apart and that what we each saw was meant to hurt the other but I didn't get that until I was a jackass and had tossed this away,"

Dean let his finger touch the amulet that was back where it belonged before reaching over to make Sam meet his eyes, recognizing and hating the still wary fear he could see in his little brother's hazel eyes that were one step from full on puppy power.

"This has always meant something to me, Sam. Even when we fought when you were a snotty teenager looking to get more space, I kept it on. I kept it on during that whole crapshoot with Ruby and probably if I hadn't been so damn tired of us fighting, the crap with angels and demons on top of being shot by Walt I would've thought it through and not tossed it away because I regretted it as soon as I did it but…I didn't do anything to fix it because in one way I thought maybe if I hurt you it would make something better, but it just made it worse," he went on.

Moving the hand that had lifted Sam's chin up back to his neck, Dean used his other to catch the hand he'd known would be reaching for his and held it. "Tossing this was my mistake, not yours and nothing that you could do would make me not want it back so get that out of your head," seeing the start of the bitch face his brother was prone to use, he quickly shook his head.

"I've told you before and I will tell you one last time. Whatever you did in the year you were hunting solo, is not an issue between us. That time is gone, over, buried," of that Dean was quite certain and would do whatever it took to see that it stayed that way.

Sam, on the other hand, didn't see it as cut and dried as that. "Can you still say that considering I let you get turned into a vampire and kidnapped by faeries?" he asked, forcing his still weak fingers to grip tighter onto his brother when he felt Dean tense. "You can say it's over, Dean, but I know you and the fact that you won't talk to me about the time with the faeries…"

"I told you to drop that topic," Dean warned, reminding himself that Sam was in hyper mode to make up for the things he'd done while soulless but while the vampire incident was one thing, the time he'd been kidnapped by faeries while his soulless little brother was having a fling with some hippie chick was one event that he would not discuss with Sam.

"You weren't yourself on either of those times so like anything else you did, it's done and over. You're you again. You're my annoying little brother and that's the way it is," he remarked firmly, giving Sam's neck a careful squeeze to be sure he understood. "I will always have your back and like it's always been, anyone who touches you will have their lungs ripped out. Now, are we good?" Dean asked with a tone of fake exasperation. "You need to sleep and I really want to close my eyes for five seconds without worrying about someone else popping in to…oh crap."

Dean could tell that his wish for sleep was going to be put off the second he read the look on Bobby Singer's face when the older man stepped into the room.

Feeling Sam tense, Dean's grip on his brother's neck stayed while he moved his other hand to give it a careless toss. "What bad news do you have for me?" he asked warily, knowing that Bobby only had that look when he needed to deliver news that would set Dean off in one way or another.

"Tom just called," Bobby began seriously, looking between the brothers and seeing that Dean had slipped into full on over protective big brother mode once again while Sam seemed to be fighting off the sleep that wanted to come. "They found Roy."

TBC

Author Note: One more chapter as Dean ties up some loose ends.