A/N- I'll be away visiting my FamBam for thanksgiving, thus I shall be gone for roughly two weeks. I'm unsure of when I'll be able to upload again for this story so I've provided a bit of fun 'Crack'. This chapter is quite small but I enjoyed laughing and writing it and I hope you enjoy it also! Have a happy Thanksgiving! Thank you for reading and reviewing. Not to worry, the next chapter will pick up from where we were at chapter six.

Edit: I couldn't put the 'at' sign so when you see two names, it's simply missing an 'at' between them but FF doesn't allow such things. There is a guide for screen names at the bottom.


Ino P.O.V


Ino uploads a picture to Instagram after rallying all of the occupants inside of the apartment. Everyone is unwilling and bitching about how they were in the middle of loading Kiba's truck. She assures them that she doesn't give a shit about their crocodile tears and come hell or high water, they're going to take a photo to commemorate this chore.

The living room is nearly bare, save for the bits of paper tucked into corners. Tenten bought bags of chips and pouched refreshments with built in straws; Capri Suns and an off brand that no one would try. There are abandoned pieces of silver duct tape stuck to the wooden floor and discarded jackets stacked on top each other in a pile. The Beats speakers buzz with the song Safety Dance, from Tenten's, 'American Tech' playlist. God, it was awful music but it wasn't Ino's turn to DJ and she doubted she'd have the time. Tenten's playlist didn't seem to be running out of songs, even after Ino stealthily skipped a few when everyone was too occupied to notice.

"Squeeze in, don't be shy—we're all made of the same stuff, except dog boy." She teases Kiba who simply sighs in exasperation and shuffles closer, hands tucked into the back pockets of his jeans. He looks uncomfortable, in the way that a new house puppy does after it has pissed the carpet.

Ino lingers on him through the lens, noticing every so often that his eyes drift to Hinata. It probably means nothing, it probably means something. Ino doesn't contemplate the exchange and files it away to refer to later. If she even remembered.

She holds her phone high over her head, at an angle that best suits her milky completion, and vibrant highlights of makeup.

We like rouge, fuck, we love rouge and the smoky liner. I've got to get a job, I can't cope with going back to basic drugstore powder. It'll probably do a number on my skin in the future.

She admires the preciseness of her eyeliner that branched out into a neat curved wing. Ino, shot the camera a smoldering gaze, changing the profiles of her face and snapping candid photos of those behind her.

Why the fuck am I not getting laid? Because you've been giving a fuck lately. Sleeping around just doesn't feel the same. Or maybe you've just flipped your shit after your mom had the nerve to try and stick it to you. Like you're even half the piece of shit she is.

She rolled her tongue out, which had been coated in the lightest hue of blue slick. A blow pop, saccharine blueberry and it tastes like corn syrup. She knew Kiba was setting her up the moment he offered it to her. Regardless, she needed something, something to keep her from roaming to the nearest corner store and buying up all their nearly depleted packs of Newport's. She said she'd stop, and she was going to make an honest go at it. But fuck, why'd it have to be so fucking inconvenient. The booze wasn't much of a suppressant, in fact, it could be just as habitual if she clung to the burn enough. She clucked her blue dyed tongue and bit her inner cheek.

This week wasn't getting any easier to bear and without the tranquility of a drag, she wasn't sure how well she'd fare. If it got to the point where it felt excruciating and she couldn't find purchase in cheap substitutes, at least she could say she genuinely tried. That's got to count for something. Not that she gave a shit. This would make a good story to tell her mom one day, if the woman ever decided to fucking apologize for that unnecessary intervention.

My behavior is unacceptable? I hate to break it to you mommy dear but dating a guy twenty years younger than you is way more fucked up than any of my shenanigans. Snorting lines off a compact mirror, like some middle aged coke-whore was a whole new brand of hypocrisy. But I'm the one—I'm the one who's gone too far? Really mom, me? I smoke a few cigs, drink a little-socially and I'm the spawn of Satan. Well, you fucked him.

Ino combed her long blonde hair over her shoulder, and scrubbed her bangs over her eyes, hoping to give herself a wild edge. It didn't take much to do that. Her blonde mane of hair has always singled that that and her gangly height that would scare all the boys. Not anymore, men were always trying to climb her. Trying to invade every aspect of her life and trap her. It used to be fun, toying with them like a cat would with mice between its teeth.

Not so much anymore—or right now at least.

"Are we props in this photoshoot?" Tenten asked, photobombing Ino. The pigtailed woman made the god-awful duck face and struck a fainting-Hollywood-starlet pose.

"Hey assholes, vogue!"

"What?"


Liked by Slutbasket, Id0ntweerpants69 and 36 others

In_y0facepunk Two hours into packing n drinking w/these sluts

Cherry_Cha PrinsassHyuga Tenofyall Keezus22

#totallymyidea #goodcombination #slavery #slizzardcritters #cantaffordnetflix #unemployedAF


Sucmyask Packing? Wher tf you goin?

In_y0facepunk suckmyask To block ur lurking ass Yask! ;}

The_chouginator Those Tostitos in the background tho ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°). Sharing is caring, it's been a minute since you showed me you cared.

In_y0facepunk The_chouginator Take a hint lard ass.

FacedownAzzup1994 Still looking like a snack I see. ;D hmu sexy, miss partying w/you

RamenLuster25 Packed your gut with my treats, that's the only packing that went down.

In_y0facepunk RamenLuster25 Every. Last. One. Tasted like unprotected sex, which I'm sure u had prior to the brownies.

RamenLuster25 Sometimes during the brownies. Proofs in the puddin looks like.

In_y0facepunk RamenLuster25 Unbothered. I know PrinsassHyuga is a freak in the sheets. She's an ex-stoner. They're always out there with their titties in the wind.

PrinsassHyuga This is not the place to dish out sensitive information…omg DX stfu.

RamenLuster25 Can't believe you let her eat our tube babies.

PrinsassHyuga HAHAHA stop! RamenLuster25 but you ate them too.

RamenLuster25 It's healthy, look it up!

Tenofyall RamenLuster25 Pretty sure that's just a rumor men cooked up so we won't make a fuss when they cum premeditatedly in our mouths. It ranks right up there with, "Mistakenly putting it in the wrong hole."

PrinsassHyuga LMFAO! OMGOMG stop. Everyone who's reading this, he didn't nut in the brownies. He's just playing around.

RamenLuster25 Tenofyall Pardon me? Wrong hole?

In_y0facepunk Hinata takes it up the ass. Best news I've heard today. Ur fiancé is resourceful. RamenLuster25 I don't care that they say ur trash, ur alright with me kid.

RamenLuster25 Who says that?

Cherry_Cha Wth did I just walk into?

In_y0facepunk Literal foodporn. XD These 2 erotica chefs fuck each other in the kitchen.

Cherry_Cha Hinata and Naruto are like two teenagers who just discovered how to sync their songs from itunes to their iPhones. Or vice versa.

PrinsassHyuga I'm checking out of these comments. V_V RamenLuster25 you're so annoying sometimes lol

RamenLuster25 I just figured they knew, they know my dick size so…

Tenofyall RamenLuster25 thanks for bringing that up, right in front of my salad.

Lalalalalana You're killin' it in that jacket Yamanaka! When you gonna shoot me a link to it.

In_y0facepunk When my asshole expands and births 3 more assholes Lalalalalana I told u before, unless my dad pulls a Lazarus and appears out of thin air, I'll never know where the hell that bastard got the leather. Srry, nice profile pic. Nice tits. When r u gonna shoot me a link to those?

Lalalalalana :) When you stop playing games Ino. You're like a stray cat sometimes, I've been biding my time. Waiting for you to turn up in my backyard demanding food. You're a mess chick.

In_y0facepunk and u're a shit cat owner. Ur s'pose to put the food out first.

Lalalalalana Fuck you Yamanaka XD

In_y0facepunk Bestiality? New Kink of urs? Alright, whatev makes u cream your pants I guess.

Lalalalalana Haha, check your DM's

Keezus22 I look like I'm on PCP and all types of nifty shit. Nice shot Ino. It isn't often that I'm referred to as a slut but thanks for making me feel apart of the team.

RamenLuster25 Keezus22 Are they being nice?

Keezus22 In spite of what this pic may portray, I've been given the cold shoulder. They're unappreciative, screamy and drunk. They had this whole man-roasting debate and I had to plea a case for like, every man who's ever wronged them. They have the makings of a blood thirsty cult.

Cherry_Cha Keezus22 Log out Kiba, wtf is up with your sn. Are you a Yeezus praiser? I don't get the hype.

Keezus22 See what I mean…

Tenofyall We welcomed you with open arms and no one is drunk. Tipsy, maybe but not white girl wasted. In_y0facepunk You're so gay.

In_y0facepunk Tenofyall I eat around, jealous?

Tenofyall Kinda :/

In_y0facepunk If u weren't my friend, I'd fuck. Tenofyall

Tenofyall Thx, I really needed to hear that.

ShadowMonstaShik o_0 Since when is drinking associated with working or anything that requires thought and proper compartmentalizing. Is this one of those things where you pretend you're being useful but really, you aren't doing shit?

In_y0facepunk ShadowMonstaShik Fun doesn't get past u Shitlock/ Sherlock. Not a typo, it works both ways.

ShadowMonstaShik Where's my wife?

In_y0facepunk hell if I know, I'm not 'the wife-sitter.' Unless u wanna hire me to do so. I'm kinda strapped for cash so anything is everything.

ShadowMonstaShik Hire you? You half ass everything you do. Anyway, she said she'd be helping at Hinata's.

In_y0facepunk How does it feel to be lied to? For the record, under 'Ino's management of wives', this would have never been an issue. Consider hiring me. I implore you.

Cherry_Cha Have you tried calling her ShadowMonstaShik? It goes straight to voicemail on my end. I thought she just bailed on us but if she's not with you, somethings up.

Jer_mix_90s Noice feed!

In_y0facepunkDon't go making this into some CSI mystery, for all we know she could just be boo'd up at the Hilton with her REAL husband. This doesn't have to be an emergency.

Cherry_Cha Nice Ino -_-

キッス 可愛い! 誰もがかわいいです

In_y0facepunk キッス ありがとう =D

Candidawgs hawaiianKeioshi We should do this, mask our chores like a party. Looks rewarding.

HawaiianKeioshi Dafuq? We wolln't get nothing done Stu, we already don't. Foh.

Candidawgs Just a suggestion…

Parkimyeung So we're just going to pretend that guy doesn't have a boner? Ok...


In_y0facepunk/ Ino

Cherry_Cha/ Sakura

ShadowMonstaShik/ Shikamaru

Tenofyall/ Tenten

Keezus22/ Kiba

RamenLuster25/ Naruto

PrinsassHyuga/ Hinata

The_chouginator/ Choji

**** The other screen names are either friends of Ino or random comments used to make the experience more realistic. Thanks for reading!