I made Pein OOC what is this I don't even.

© Kishimoto


"What is his status, Itachi?" Pein said, a fist underneath his chin.

"He is...strong, to a point. He is able to fend off Sasori's attacks for up to three hours." Itachi coughed, "However, he was...very weak afterwards. Sasori had to carry him back 'home' on his back. Where 'home' is, I do not know."

"I see. So Sasori does have a heart..." Pein rubbed his chin.

"Kill him."

"Pardon?"

"The boy. Kill him."

"I hardly see how that's necessary, sir. We could just maim him, give Sasori a warning." Pein sighed, obviously irritable.

"The blonde one is obviously the only person Sasori gives a shit about. It's been three months since we have found out that our friend is still alive, around six since he's gotten out of his coma. We have found his weakness, don't you see? The two are practically brothers." Pein chuckled darkly, "Or in their case, lovers. How amusing..."

"Sir?" Itachi said, his nervousness not showing through his stoic demeanor.

"As I said, kill him."

"...Understood."


"I told you that you were supposed to evade my attacks, you brat, not get hit by them." Sasori said, sighing. "Now I feel bad. Dear God, what the hell have you done to me."

"Creepy, isn't it?" Deidara said snarkily, showing a hint of a smirk on his bruised face, "You were this completely stoic asshole, who I assumed was going to kill me eventually, and now you're taking care of me? I changed Scorpion Sasori." Deidara closed his eyes, and his small smirk grew. "How about that..."

Sasori rolled his eyes, grabbing the washcloth inside the cup of water he had set on his sleeping bag. Inside the tent, Sasori was on his knees, looking after a pale, lethargic Deidara.

He brushed back the blonde's bangs, revealing the clouded-over left eye, scar running down to his mid-cheek. Sasori sighed, and traced the scar with his finger.

"Get some rest, brat. You'll need it—we're doing it again tomorrow."

"Fuck, un."

"That's why I said get some rest. I should, as well. Beating the shit out of you really took it out of me." Sasori turned over on his bag, deciding against going inside of it. He put the jar in the top-right corner of the tent, making sure he could use it for later.

Deidara chuckled, and snuggled into his sleeping bag, looking up at Sasori with his big blue eye, "Danna...can we spoon?"

"No."

"Oh...well...will you sleep with me, then? Er...well...can you hold me?" Sasori turned over on his left side, quirking an eyebrow at the blonde, before sighing.

"Fine, whatever." He wrapped his arms around Deidara's wrapped form, and the blonde snuggled his head into Sasori's chest.

"Sweet dreams, Sasori, un."

"Hn..."


Deidara coughed up blood as Sasori elbowed him in the stomach.

He feel down, landing onto his back. The blonde continued to cough up blood, staining his tan face and pale lips with blood.

"You did better than usual today, runt. Sort of." Sasori helped Deidara up to his feet, but the blonde's fallible legs gave out, making him land on his bottom.

It had been two months since Deidara had begun training with Sasori, and, although he was much more agile, stronger, and lithe, Sasori was still far stronger than he, and would still royally kick his ass.

"Here..." Sasori brought out his hand again, and Deidara took it. The red-head brought the honey-haired boy onto his back once more, sighing as he walked back to the bridge.

Making his way towards the bridge, they walked through run-down apartment complexes with alleys in-between. The sidewalks were paved with hookers and the homeless, each begging for money in their own unique way.

The red-head tutted as he felt Deidara's gentle breathing on his back, the blonde snuggling his head in deeper. Sasori sighed.

"Sasori-kun..."

Brown eyes locked in a horrified stare, and he turned around slowly, very well knowing the only person who would use a Japanese honorific like that.

"Itachi." He said breathlessly.

For the first time in his life, Sasori was scared shitless.

"It's nice to see you again, Sasori-kun..." Itachi said, his voice and facial features showing not a smidgen of emotion.

Sasori snarled, propping the sleeping blonde up in his arms again, "Cut the crap, Itachi. Why are you here?"

Itachi smirked slightly, his eyes dancing with amusement, and he reached for his pocket. He pulled out a small handgun, pointing it towards Sasori.

"Brat." He said shakily, nudging the blonde awake.

"Hn...?" Deidara sleepily woke up, and was blinking his eyes, trying to get the dancing spots out of his eyes. The blonde could feel the tension between Sasori and the one with black hair, and wisely attempted to go into a nearby alley.

"I don't think so, Sasori-kun..." Itachi pulled out a gun, aiming it towards Deidara's head. The blonde froze, his breath catching in his throat.

"Let him go, Itachi. He has nothing to do with this." Sasori stepped cautiously towards Deidara, and Itachi turned the safety off on his gun.

"Contrarily, Sasori, he has much to do with it. Your argument is invalid."

"Deidara..."

Aim.

"Run."

Itachi fired a gun, and missed, giving Deidara a chance to run around into the alleyway. Sasori grunted, taking out his own and aiming for Itachi's ankle, missing. The few people in the area scattered as soon as they heard a gunshot, some giving out loud screams at the sound of a gun.

The two stood silently, each waiting for the other to make another move, guns both poised at each other's faces.

Another shot.

Sasori let out a cry of pain as he felt the bullet go through his left shoulder, and almost fell to the ground on his knees. He stood back up, swaying slightly as he did, color draining from his face. He aimed the gun once more, pointing it towards Itachi's kneecap.

He shot, missing, and jumped back as a bullet whizzed by his face. He grunted in pain as his wounded shoulder smacked into a brick wall. He slid down the wall, shuddering. Sasori ducked as he heard another shot, and quickly stood back up, clutching the gun in his right hand, shakily.

He clutched it, and aimed for Itachi's right shoulder, hitting him square in the middle. The brunette let out a loud grunt of pain, and shook, swaying in place to try and re-gain his balance, dropping the gun from his grasp.

"What the hell are you doing? Why did you try to shoot Deidara?" Sasori yelled, running up towards Itachi and punting the gun out of his reach, aiming the metal at his forehead.

"It's quite simple, Sasori-kun...Hidan told us all that you didn't want him to get hurt...if he did get hurt, you would go into a blind rage, making it easier to kill you."

"What the fuck? I don't have any freaking feelings for him! How the hell did you come to that conclusion?"

"Oh please, Sasori," Itachi said, a sneer on his face, "It's obvious that you at least care about him. But since you're such a hard-ass, I doubt you even know that you have feelings for him. Just one of your obvious weaknesses." Itachi smirked.

"You sonuvabitch." Sasori snarled, and pulled the trigger, shooting the brunette right between the eyes.

Itachi fell over lifelessly, blood dripping out of the hole between his eyes. Sasori growled, and kicked the brunette harshly in the stomach several times, before having two arms wrap around his midsection to stop him.

"Sasori-Danna, enough." Sasori stood motionless, eyes losing their luster as he glanced down at Itachi's dead body.

"We need to move it, un."

"I know. There's a dumpster in that alley over there." Deidara nodded, and picked up the brunette's legs, while Sasori got the upper half, ignoring the savage pain that was in his left shoulder.

They moved into the alley, their sight losing strength as they were overcome with a shadow. Sasori squinted, and saw a dumpster, flies buzzing around it, in the far corner.

"Just a little further, brat." Deidara nodded, and continued to walk backwards, only stopping when Sasori did.

"Alright, on three, we heave his body up there. One, two, three!" The body landed with an 'umph' as it hit several trash bags. Sasori shut his eyes, trying to ignore the searing pain.

Deidara blinked, turning towards Sasori, who sighed, wiping the sweat off of his brow. He walked up towards Deidara, and the blonde furrowed his eyebrows, gently touching Sasori's wounded shoulder, and sighing.

"We can't go a day without getting our asses kicked, can we?" Sasori grunted.

"Seems unlikely."

"There's a drug store around the corner, I'm going to go steal some tweezers. I'll be right back. Don't get into trouble." He chuckled, and bolted off around the corner.

Sasori sighed, sliding down the filthy brick wall, on the soles of his feet as his knees were bent, sticking out horizontally. He eyed a homeless man in the corner.

"'Ey Red." The foul man spoke up, and Sasori quirked an eyebrow. He wore an overly-large brown suede coat, tattered, with dirt in various spots. Faded jeans, holing in many places. His face was dirty—Sasori couldn't tell if he was African American or just had very poor hygiene—and he had a beard about three inches long. His curly hair stood out underneath the brown hat he was wearing, and his feet were bare.

"Hn?"

"Yeh like 'dat boy, don't'cha?"

Sasori sneered, "I don't see how that's your problem at all."

The man smiled contentedly—Sasori just thought he was under the influence of alcohol.

"Yeh boy, ye' like 'im. I 'kin see it in yo' face."

"Whatever..." He growled out, letting a grunt of pain as he unintentionally moved his injured shoulder.

"Yeh, I saw the way 'e was lookin' at yeh, boy."

"How did you figure out he was a boy so quickly?"

The man scratched the back of his head, giving a small burp, "Well, saw the apple on 'is neck, 'n the boy 'as a deep voice."

"I see. So what makes you think I give a fuck about him?"

The man grinned, "Yeh told 'im to run. Yeh don't tell sum'un yeh don't give a toot 'bout to run."

'Why do homeless people have such acute observations?' Sasori thought blandly.

"Yeh haven't told 'im yeh feelin's, 'ave yeh, boy?"

Sasori scowled, "I don't have any feelings for him."

The man snorted, "Hoo man, dee-nial at it's finest. Boy, yeh gots it hard fer Blondie. Own up."

Sasori opened his mouth to rebuttal, but he was cut off by a shrieking voice yelling his 'surname' loudly.

The red head groaned, eyes looking off to the side and a grimace on his face as he saw the blonde hide in the shadows of the alley, waiting for the angry shop clerk to pass by.

Deidara nervously looked over at Sasori, a cocky grin forming at his lips, "Eeh...sorry about that. I had to get gauze and bandages, too, un." He walked over towards Sasori, who was rolling his eyes as obviously as possible.

"Oh stop it." Blonde hair tickled Sasori's neck as Deidara bent down, gently removing Sasori's hand from his wounded shoulder. He set the gauze and circular bandage hold—almost like a duct tape dispenser—on the ground, and pulled out the tweezers.

Deidara unzipped Sasori's jacket, and took off his blue shirt, leaving him half naked in front of the blonde. At this rate, the red-head was in too much pain to be embarrassed. Deidara pulled his hair tie out, his ponytail falling out and framing his face nicely, before he pulled it all back, including the fringe in his eye, into a messy ponytail.

"This is going to hurt like a bitch, Danna, so try to keep as still as you can, okay?" Sasori nodded, and Deidara took the tweezers out of the package, and brought them up to his wound.

Deidara quickly jammed the tweezers in, and Sasori let out a loud groan in pain. Deidara continued to move the object around until he found what he was looking for.

"Alright, this is the tough part. Be strong, Danna."

He started to remove the bullet, and Sasori's hand grasped Deidara's left one tightly. Deidara squeezed back, obviously knowing how hard it was for him. Sasori opened an eye to look at the blonde, who was concentrating very hard on helping his master.

"Almost got it...hang in there, un."

Sasori let out another loud groan of pain as Deidara removed the bullet, holding it in-between the tweezer. He smiled cockily, and his eye lit up coyly.

"Hard part's over. Here, hold this for me." He handed Sasori the bandage roll, and spread a generous amount of gauze on his fingers, and rubbed it over the wound. Sasori sighed, and loosened his hold on Deidara's hand.

The blonde capped the gauze bottle, and plucked the bandage roll in his hand. He wrapped it around the wound several times, using about a third of the roll. Cutting it with his teeth, he patted the spot gently before leaning back, proud of himself.

Sasori's pained breaths slowed down, and he sighed, and brought the blonde into his arms.

"Thank you."

The homeless man let out a howl of laughter, "Yeh still sho' 'bout that answer, boy?"


"WHAT."

"It's true, sir. We found his body in a dumpster in an alley." Kisame said, grimacing as a glass flew over his head, hitting a wall.

"Find him. Kill him. Kill him and Sasori." Pein's fist tightened, the broken glass shards digging into his skin, making his palm bleed profusely.

"Sir, with all due respect, the boy is very fast, strong, and flexible. As is Sasori. Send Konan; she can deal with them easily."

Pein snarled at Kisame, but closed his eyes, mentally counting to five to cool himself down, "She's not going, Kisame. Konan only goes when the situation is...very vital."

"But sir—."

"Silence. Take Zetsu with you—he'll be of use."

Kisame nodded silently, "Yes sir."


Sixty-five reviews, please.

RAEG TYPE ARGH I NEED TO STOP FAGGING OVER HETALIA.