Tara tried to catch her breath, but she felt like she was suffocating. There was something about the air in Charming, especially in that clubhouse, that made it nearly impossible to breathe. A toxicity of some sort, a poison that had polluted the community long ago and refused to loosen its grip.

It had been nearly a week since the Teller family's triumphant return to Charming, and the more Jax and the boys settled into their "old life," the more unsettled Tara became. She and Jax had come so far in the few years since they'd left the shithole town they were raised in together, vowing to never return. The life of peace and normalcy they'd worked so hard to build in Oregon was everything to her. And as she watched her husband take his seat at the head of the makeshift banquet table at Clay's wake, which was held in the SAMCRO clubhouse, his former club members flanking him, looking to him for guidance, she felt it all slipping away.

Ironically enough, it was Tara who'd been in a rush to get to Charming. All she could think about was Thomas, and how she'd been an idiot for letting Gemma take him. She should have known something awful would happen. In that town, it always did. She was so focused on saving her son, she didn't give much thought to everything else going home would mean.

By the time Jax, Tara and Trinity arrived in Charming, Lyla and Opie had already booted Ima and her whore friends to the curb and taken over Clay's house. Technically, the house now belonged to Gemma. But the grieving widow had no desire to return to her marital home, and was perfectly comfortable remaining in Jax and Tara's old house with Unser.

Tara wasn't thrilled about the idea of staying in Clay's house, but it made sense, she supposed. It was bigger than her old house, so there would be room for everyone- her, Jax, the boys, Trinity, Opie, Lyla, their kids. The house was a mess, but Lyla had already begun the process of sanitizing it before the Tellers got there. Tara wasn't able to be of much use due to her damaged condition, but Trinity immediately began helping Lyla get the place in order. Together, they stripped all the beds and bought new sheets and blankets, deep cleaned the bathrooms, steam cleaned the carpets, and aired the place out as much as possible, in hopes of ridding it of the stench of cigars and pussy. It was livable, but it wasn't home. And Tara didn't want it to ever begin to feel like one.

After getting Tara and Thomas settled, Jax spent the rest of that first day taking care of Gemma, which turned out to be a good thing, because just as Jax was trying to talk her into joining everyone for dinner at Clay's, there was a knock at the door. Unser was passed out in his favorite recliner, the only thing he'd brought with him besides the clothes on his back when he moved in with Gemma, and Gemma was staring blankly at the TV, taking long puffs of the dwindling joint she had pinched between her thumb and index finger.

"I'll get it," Jax offered, rising from his spot on the couch next to his mother. Lieutenant Eli Roosevelt from the San Joaquin County Sheriff's Department seemed surprised to be greeted by the prodigal son of SAMCRO.

"Jackson Teller," he announced, nodding to himself as if it should have been obvious that Jax would return home upon the news of Clay's passing.

"Lieutenant Roosevelt," Jax responded. "How's the family?" The straight-laced cop and former bad boy had only butted heads briefly, as the San Joaquin County Sheriff's Department invaded Charming just as Jax was making his exit. Jax didn't mind him too much, for a cop. He'd dealt with much worse. Aside from his desire to dismember SAMCRO, Roosevelt seemed like a decent guy.

"Doing good," the lieutenant said. "Daughter just turned two, getting into everything. Business is good at the wife's flower shop. But I didn't come here to catch up." Jax feigned disappointment.

"Then how can I help you, lieutenant?" Eli Roosevelt pulled a folded sheet of paper from his back pocket, flashing it in Jax's face.

"Search warrant," he explained. "I'm going to need you and all other occupants of the house to step outside."

"Jesus Christ," Jax sighed. "Mom, Wayne, come on." While Gemma spouted off about her constitutional rights and the sheriff's office's abuse of authority, Wayne inspected the search warrant, probably in an attempt to discredit it. After going over it line by line, Wayne let out a defeated sigh, handing it back to Eli.

"Come on, Gem," he said.

"This is bullshit," she hissed, resisting as Unser pulled her gently by the arm.

"Mom," Jax said, sounding annoyed. "Come on. They're just doing their job. Don't be difficult."

Once outside, Gemma leaned against one of the police cruisers in the driveway, watching as her house was ransacked by nearly a dozen officers.

"What the hell are they lookin' for?" she asked nervously.

"You tell me," Jax answered.

"Don't start your shit, Jackson," she warned. "I got nothin' to hide." While Jax was sure they wouldn't find what they were most likely looking for- proof that Gemma had something to do with Clay's death- he was equally sure that his mother had plenty to hide. That woman's secrets were many. Jax just hoped she wasn't hiding any of them in his house.

After what felt like forever, Lieutenant Roosevelt emerged from the house, accompanied by an officer holding what appeared to be several sealed evidence bags.

"Shit," Jax breathed. Gemma shot Wayne a worried look. He rubbed her back reassuringly. Roosevelt made a beeline for Gemma, not making eye contact with Jax or Wayne.

"Gemma Teller-Morrow," he began. "You're under arrest for the murder of Clay Morrow…" Jax closed his eyes, tuning out the obligatory reading of his mother's Miranda rights as she was searched and cuffed. He'd heard and seen it all too many times before.


Tara wasn't surprised to learn that her mother-in-law had been arrested for Clay's murder, despite the fact that Gemma was steadily proclaiming her innocence. There was a part of Tara that was relieved to have Gemma locked up. The last thing she needed was Gemma constantly in Jax's ear about moving home for good. Tara could already see the effect being back in Charming was having on her husband. He didn't need any outside influences making things worse. But with Gemma's arrest, Tara knew her trip back to Charming wouldn't be a quick one. There was no way Jax would leave with his mother in jail.

She watched from the bar, which had been turned into a buffet for the wake, as Jax talked and laughed with his former brothers from the head of their pool table-turned-banquet table. Abel, who had just arrived in Charming that morning on the heels of his Florida trip with Wendy and Nero, was in his father's lap, playing quietly with the Spiderman action figure Clay had gotten him for his birthday, the last time Abel would ever see his grandfather alive. Thomas was asleep in the bedroom that had served as Jax's second home for many years, exhausted from the day's macabre festivities.

This was the life they'd talked about for so long- Jax taking over the club after Clay stepped down. The two of them, the unofficial king and queen of Charming. Together, they would change things. Jax would take the club in a different direction. Tara would help him leave a better legacy for their sons to someday inherit. But when they decided they couldn't wait for that day to come, that they had to take immediate action to save their relationship and the boys' futures, they'd found something else- something better. Life outside of Charming was better than Tara ever imagined it could be. And Jax away from SAMCRO was a better man, father, and husband than she ever thought possible. She couldn't give that up. She wouldn't.

The weight of her two lives colliding began to close in on her, making the normally spacious clubhouse feel very small. She offered Chuckie a polite smile as he tended to the buffet, then hobbled outside on her crutches, taking a deep breath of the fresh afternoon air as soon as it hit her face. She closed her eyes, trying to pretend she was at home in her beautiful back yard instead of in the bleak Teller Morrow parking lot.

"You alright, darlin'?" Trinity asked. Her voice was unmistakable. Tara opened her eyes, spotting her sister-in-law sitting at one of the picnic tables on the lot, babying a beer. She looked about as good as Tara felt. Tara smiled.

"Sure. You?" She took a seat next to Trinity at the table, both of them staring at the closed gate, watching what they could see of the passing traffic through the fence.

"I'm great," Trinity answered, not the least bit convincingly. Something had been bothering her since she returned from Vegas, and whatever it was seemed to be getting worse. Tara opened her mouth to ask her what was wrong, but changed her mind when the clubhouse door creaked open.

"Everything okay out here?" Lyla asked, poking her head out.

"Yup," Tara and Trinity assured her in unison. Lyla sauntered out and sat down beside Tara, following her and Trinity's gaze. For a long moment, none of them spoke, each lamenting over their own personal demons. Trinity took a sip of her beer, then offered it to Tara. Tara shook her head.

"I'm pregnant," she said, very matter-of-factly. "Just found out." Lyla grabbed the beer from Trinity and took a long gulp.

"I'm sterile," she explained. "Just found out." She passed the beer back to Trinity, who downed what was left of it.

"I slept with Juice," she announced. "Just happened." The three of them sat in stunned silence, all reeling from the bombshells that had just been dropped. Finally, Tara let out a long sigh, followed by a giggle that surprised her as much as it did the other girls. They both looked at her. She laughed again, this time louder and without apology. After a few seconds, Lyla joined her, followed almost immediately by Trinity. The three of them laughed until they cried, and then laughed some more. They were laughing so hard, they didn't hear the door open.

"Something funny, ladies?" asked Juice Ortiz, who'd stepped outside for a smoke. They all stared at him, wide eyed, then looked at each other and started laughing hysterically once more.


"Aw, shit…" Jax grumbled as he and Opie pulled into the driveway of Clay Morrow's very dark house. Following Clay's wake, the two of them had visited some of their old haunts with the guys, and what Jax had originally promised Tara would be "just a beer or two" turned into several beers very quickly. Time had gotten away from them, and now they were in deep shit. "This is all your fault," he told Opie.

"How do you figure?" Opie asked, following Jax up the front walk.

"Because you're the one that wanted to go out," Jax explained. Opie chuckled, shaking his head. Jax pulled his keys out of his pocket and unlocked the front door, quietly pushing it open. From the living room, he and Opie could see down the hall to the bedrooms. Tara and Jax's room was pitch black, but a light glow filtered out from under Lyla and Opie's door. Opie smiled.

"Well, good luck with the Mrs.," Opie teased. "I'm gonna go have sex now. With my wife. The porn star." Jax slapped Opie in the back of the head as they parted ways. Not quite ready to sleep, but not wanting to wake Tara, Jax headed into the kitchen. He opened the refrigerator and pulled out a bottled water.

"Can I get you some Tylenol to go with that?" came a voice from behind him. He jumped.

"Jesus, Trinity," he hissed. "What are you doing out here in the dark?" His little sister was seated at the small dinette in the kitchen, her phone in her hands. She'd been completely concealed by the shadows.

"Just thinkin'," she said. "Care to join me?" Jax opened his bottle of water, taking a long gulp as he sat down across from Trinity. "Have fun?" she asked.

"Not really," he told her, shaking his head. "Just the same old shit. Nothing ever changes around here."

"Aye," Trinity agreed. "That's what I hear. And that's exactly what Tara's afraid of."

"What are you talking about?" Jax asked, his eyebrows raised.

"Tara and I had a little chat tonight," Trinity told him. "You know, sister to sister. I know about the new wee one, Jackson." Jax smiled. He and Tara hadn't talked much about the baby since arriving back in Charming.

"Tara told you?" he asked.

"She did," Trinity said. "And she also told me that she's worried she's going to lose you again- to this town, the club…your mother."

"That's ridiculous," Jax said, shaking his head. Trinity reached across the table and placed a comforting hand on her brother's.

"Then tell her that, Jackson," she whispered, squeezing his hand. Jax stood up, kissed his little sister on the forehead, and headed to bed. He hoped his wife was sound asleep, so that the inevitable talk about their stay in Charming could be put off until morning.

Trinity waited until she heard Jax close his bedroom door, then turned her phone over in her hands. She had four missed texts, all from Juice. Sorry, she typed quickly. Be out in a minute. My brother nearly caught me. She got up from the table and tiptoed to the back door, quietly opening and closing it. There was a chill in the night air, and Trinity wrapped her arms tightly around herself as she made her way down the side yard, wishing she'd grabbed a jacket. She smiled when she saw Juice waiting for her at the end of the street.

After their awkward encounter that afternoon at Clay's wake, Juice sent Trinity a text asking if they could talk. She was cautiously optimistic that he'd worked through whatever shit was haunting him, and hopeful that they'd be able to get their relationship back on track. (After he apologized profusely, of course.) But one look at his face, and Trinity's heart sank. Whatever he wanted to talk about wasn't good.

"Wanna go for a ride?" Juice asked, motioning toward his bike. Trinity shook her head.

"I'd rather walk," she mumbled, failing to make eye contact with Juice as she started down the sidewalk.

"Sure," he agreed, following behind her with his hands in his pockets. "Hey, uh…you looked really pretty today," he offered.

"Jesus Christ," Trinity laughed, spinning around on her heels. She glared at Juice. "You didn't call me out here in the middle of the night to compliment my funeral attire, Juan. Now what is it?" Juice nodded, talking a deep breath.

"You're right," he said. "I'm sorry." He gazed at Trinity, her eyes as much on fire as her hair, which was blowing wildly in the wind. Her nose and cheeks were pink from the cold. He longed to wrap his arms around her to warm her up, to comfort her. But he knew he couldn't.

"I'm waiting," Trinity reminded him. Juice hung his head.

"I just wanted to tell you I'm sorry," he said. "For before. Vegas, the whole thing with Clay- it was all just a lot at once and I didn't handle it well."

"Got that right," Trinity muttered, turning back around and continuing down the sidewalk, Juice behind her.

"Hey," he said, jogging to catch up with her. "I'm trying to apologize here. You're not making it very easy." Trinity exhaled, stopping in her path.

"Okay," she conceded. "Sorry. Proceed." Juice put his hands on Trinity's hips, pulling her close to him.

"Trinity, I like you," he confessed. "Like a lot. But Clay's death- it changes things. It changes everything, actually. And if Jax is coming back to the club, I can't defy him by dating his little sister."

"You really think my brother will go back to SAMCRO?" Trinity asked, genuinely curious.

"I don't know," Juice said. "But until shit gets straightened out and we know what's what- this, us, it can't happen." He swallowed hard. Trinity nodded in agreement.

"I understand that," she said, taking Juice's face in her hands. She studied his eyes for a long moment. Her heart broke knowing what was coming next, but it had to be done. "But what you need to understand is that I'm not the kind of girl who's going to sit around and wait for the possibility of a chance. We're either doing this, right now, or we're not doing it at all." She blinked back tears, willing herself not to cry as she waited for Juice's response. He leaned in close and kissed her softly on the lips.

"I'm sorry," Juice whispered. Trinity bit her lip, hoping he didn't see how it was trembling. She nodded, pulling away from him.

"Goodbye, Juan Carlos," she said, turning to head back toward the house. She knew he would follow her home to make sure she made it safely. She could hear his footsteps close behind hers. A part of her wanted so badly to turn around and beg him to change his mind. But she knew she couldn't. And she knew he wouldn't. Juice was right. Clay's death had changed everything for everyone- Trinity included. Juice had a choice to make and he made it. She just hoped that her brother would fare better with the choices that awaited him.


Jax stood in the doorway to the master bedroom of the Morrow household as Tara hastily shoved her belongings into a duffel bag sitting in the middle of the bed. He kept opening his mouth, wanting to say something to make things right with his wife, but there was nothing left to say. Still, he had to try.

"Tara," he breathed, taking a tentative step toward her. She held up a hand to stop him, not bothering to look at him.

"Don't, Jax," she warned, discreetly wiping a tear from her face. "Just let me be."

"Tara, I'm sorry," he insisted. "If there was any other way…"

"There is another way, Jax. It's called the right way. It's called keeping your promise to me and to our children. You swore to me…you swore to me that you wouldn't let this town and all the shit that goes with it suck you back in." Tara turned to her husband, wanting him to see the hurt and betrayal in her eyes.

"It hasn't sucked me back in!" he insisted. "It's not about Charming or the club. It's about-"

"Your mother," Tara interrupted. "Big surprise. When are things ever not all about Gemma?"

"That's not fair," Jax argued. "I can't just go back to Oregon with my mom still in jail, Tara." Jax took a seat on the edge of the bed. "I have to stay until she's clear of this shit. I have to find out who really killed Clay."

"Of course you do!" Tara yelled. "God forbid you let the police do their jobs. Or- or God forbid you accept the fact that maybe Gemma's guilty and is exactly where she belongs!"

"My mom didn't kill Clay and you know it," Jax said calmly. Tara turned her back to him as she emptied the contents of her dresser drawers into her bag. She shook her head. Jax had never seen his mother clearly, and it was obvious to Tara that he never would.

"I knew this was going to happen," Tara whispered, more to herself than to Jax. "I fucking knew it." When she collapsed into uncontrollable tears, Jax pulled her down to the bed. He wrapped her in his arms, running his fingers through her hair.

"Tara, you're overreacting," he told her. "I know what you're afraid of, but this is not that. I'm not going back to SAMCRO. I'm not moving back to Charming. I'm just staying until I can get my mom out of jail. As soon as her charges are dropped, I'm coming home. I promise."

"I wish I could believe you," Tara sobbed. "But I've felt this coming since the moment we arrived in Charming. I knew, when I told you this morning that I wanted to go home, I would end up going alone. I knew you wouldn't leave."

Jax was relieved when he found Tara fast asleep after his talk with Trinity the night before. But he dreaded the morning, knowing what was coming. He had hoped to ease into the topic, to make Tara understand the reasons he had to stay before dropping the bomb on her that he wasn't ready to leave Charming just yet. But Tara being Tara, she knew something was going on before Jax was even awake. She roused him from his sleep with a kiss, and before he could even say good morning, she said the four little words that began World War Three.

"Let's go home today," she whispered as she laid her head on her husband's shoulder. Jax kissed her on the forehead, clearing his throat, still half asleep.

"Babe, I can't go home yet," he said. "You know that." Tara sat up in bed, immediately launching into a lengthy diatribe about how Jax was choosing the club over her and the boys. She'd obviously prepared it ahead of time, knowing she was going to need it. Jax tried to explain to her that he couldn't abandon his mother when she needed him most, but his reasons for staying fell on deaf ears. After a good hour of arguing back and forth, Jax left to get breakfast for everyone, and by the time he returned, Tara was already dressed and packing her and the boys' things.

"I understand that you and the boys are ready to go home," Jax said, still trying to calm his wife's sobs. "I would never make you stay here if you don't want to be here. I'll have Juice take you and Trinity and the boys home," he offered. Tara shot him a weary glance. Clearly, Jax's little sister hadn't had the heart to heart with him about Juice that she promised Tara she would. "He'll stay for as long as you need him to. Ope and Lyla will head back home in a couple of days, and I swear to you, as soon as Gemma's clear, I'll be right behind them."

"Jax, I need you," Tara admitted, hating to ever seem weak. Her husband was the strongest man she'd ever known. He needed a strong woman by his side. "The boys and I need you."

"I know," Jax said. "But right now, my mom needs me, too." He took Tara's face in his hands. "I promise you, Tara, I'm coming home. I'm not taking back my kutte, I'm not taking back my table, and I'm not taking back this town. None of it means shit to me. The only thing that matters to me is family."

"Too bad you can't choose your family," Tara muttered. Jax laughed.

"Yeah, it is," he agreed.

"You promise you'll be home soon?" she asked.

"I promise you, Tara," Jax vowed, gazing deeply into his wife's eyes.

"Okay," she agreed.

"Okay?"

"Yeah," she confirmed, nodding. "Now would you help me finish packing? I didn't realize how much shit we brought with us."

"Of course I will," Jax said. "In a little bit." He took Tara's duffel bag from the bed and set it on the floor. She looked at him, curious. He sat on the edge of the bed, pulling her close to him. What she always seemed to forget was that as much as she needed Jax, he needed her more. He pressed his face gently against her belly, feeling the warmth of the new life they'd created together radiating from her skin. "You take care of your mama," he whispered. Tara smiled, grabbing Jax by the hair and turning his face up toward hers. She leaned over and kissed him.

Jax pulled his wife down on top of him, scooting back until they were in the center of the bed. He unbuttoned her blouse and watched her as she unbuckled his belt. They pulled of their pants and shirts in unison, giggling and kissing the entire time. Tara admired her husband's naked form as he lay on the bed. She ran her fingertips over his lips, down his chest, down the contours of his stomach.

She climbed on top of him and eased herself onto him, gasping at how good he felt inside her. They hadn't made love since the morning of her motorcycle accident. Her body had missed him. She moved back and forth, slowly at first, as Jax cupped her breasts with his hands and moaned in ecstasy.

"I love you, Jax," she murmured as her husband held onto her hips with his strong, beautiful hands. Their eyes met.

"I love you, Tara," he answered.