"Nikolai?" Christophe called out, again. Nikolai moved his head out of the pillow with a grunt.

"Yeah," he responded, sounding tired and groggy.

"I can't sleep," Christophe complained. Nikolai sighed.

"Climb in," he answered, pulling the covers up so that Christophe could get under them. Nikolai turned away, his back to Christophe, as soon as the aforementioned had climbed into his bed. Soon, though, he felt Christophe shaking next to him. "What's wrong?" he asked, turning back towards him.

"Nothing," Christophe answered shakily, his back still turned to Nikolai. Nikolai grabbed Christophe's arm and twisted him towards him.

"What's wrong?" Nikolai repeated.

"Nothing!" Christophe whispered murderously.

"It's obviously something. You're shaking for no apparent reason and…are those tears? Christophe, are you crying?" Nikolai demanded, sounding concerned.

"It's just…you know what, forget I ever said anything."

"No! Christophe, what's wrong?"

"Nothing!"

"If it was really nothing, you'd be able to tell me."

"I…just can't."

"Christophe! Look at me, Goddamnit! I can't let you sit there and suffer! Talk to me!" Christophe turned to face Nikolai again.

"What? So you can kill someone? No thanks, Nikolai."

"If it's so bad that I'd want to kill them, then you should tell me."

"Why?"

"Because, it's obviously bad, and I don't want you to have to cope with all of it by yourself."

"Fine. I just…I just realized, you know while they were talking, that my first time was in a training session with some guy I don't know."

"Christophe?" Nikolai said softly, wiping away the tears that made their way down his cheeks.

"Yeah?" Christophe answered. He continued crying, his whole body shaking from the effort of trying to stop the tears.

"Christophe, that was me," Nikolai told him. Christophe looked shocked, then humiliated. He tried to turn away from Nikolai, who kept a tight grip around him so that he couldn't. "Christophe, listen to me. I understand that this is kind of humiliating; finding out that it was me the whole time, I mean. I'm really sorry that it had to be this way."

"You just don't understand, do you?" Christophe exclaimed. Nikolai looked surprised at this exclamation. "It's not because it was you. It's because it didn't mean anything, because it never does."

"That's not true. It could mean something. Just because neither of us has had it mean anything before, doesn't mean it can't," Nikolai said soothingly.

"Make it mean something, then," Christophe ordered.

"What?" Nikolai asked, sounding confused.

"You heard me, make it mean something!" Christophe repeated.

"How? Oh…" Nikolai sounded, finally understanding. His lips pressed gently to Christophe's forehead. "Not now," he told him.

"Why not?" Christophe asked.

"Because, we're too tired, angry, and sad for it to mean something," Nikolai told him. Christophe nodded, new tears forming in his eyes. "Not because I don't want to. It's just that I want it to be special for you." Christophe turned away from him, trying to hide his sobs. Nikolai pulled him towards him from behind. They laid there until the sun came up, and work began again, but just before he drifted away, Nikolai swore he saw a shooting star.

Star light,

Star bright,

Shooting star I see tonight,

I wish I may,

I wish I might,

Make the wish I wish,

Tonight:

Please let it mean something.