Huzzah, finally got a new crack up….although can I call it crack…I don't do crack….and I'm not allowed Sugar ;w;
Disclaimer: I don't not own Vesperia, Justin, Caryn, NPCS, RANDOM ANIME PHRASES, MUSIC, and endorsement deals that may or may not be shown.
I do have permission to use Justin and Caryn though, they're my bitches :D
I do own myself, Kairi, and this fic….cause none if it is entirely following Vesperia protocol and I wouldn't call this work as it is…although….It's the New Year, my mother has me on a diet….so these are no longer sugar induced…..which makes it so hard to write T-T so I call this WORK! *sobs*
Goliath: *moving around with his dick all floppy*
It's supposed to be erect….That's so wrong….ESTELLE! Inflate it!
Estelle: YES!
Everyone else: NO!
B-But it's just….wagging in our faces!
Estelle: It's so huge~ *moans* I don't think it'll fit in my mouth more so my-
Yuri: Keep it clean you two! WE HAVE CHILDREN PRESENT!
You tell him to be clean! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FIGHT WITH THAT DICK IN MAH FACE?!
Estelle: *flies by after Goliath smacks her with his dick* Ahhhhnnnn, so rough….*starry rape eyes* I DIDN'T KNOW HE LIKED IT ROUGH!
Yuri: Kids….Advert your eyes….
Kairi: It's about to get R rated…
Rita and Karol: *pretend to cover their eyes, but peak through fingers*
[Intermission while Estelle somehow transcends the logic and dynamics of physics and fucks Goliath into submission]
Yuri: …How did she even….?
Kairi: …*mutters* So would Yuri like it like that? Or some other position? Maybe somehow involving my breasts...
Estelle: What…already done….but it wasn't enough D:
Down bitch, we got that weird ass mofo that ran off to catch, you can have him after we're done interrogating.
Yuri: Right! Let's go get him and take back the aqua blastia!
Sponge Bob Narrator: A few moments later.
Random mage guy: Sorry, your aqua blastia is in another dungeon.
Yuri: FFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
[Video statics as Yuri fucking broke the damn camera with his sheer cry of rage alone, please wait, our mechanics will bring you back to the program shortly]
[Commercial with Ferghus: WEAPON REPAIRS! YOU MUST BRING THEM TO ME! Now including a 100% repair rate fix at 4,567% the original price, because extortion WORKS!]
[Camera back to the future where everyone is on with their happy lives, including pairing spoilers of- scene cuts off back to the group in Aspio]
*tackles Yuri* Fuck, he makes a good pillow…
Yuri: I AIN'T NO DAMN PILLOW!
*pinches chest* This squishy water pillow says other wise~
Kairi: *pouty*
Yuri: Fuck, now I gotta exercise….
Rita: WTF Get a room you two!
Don't want to Zzzzzzz
Yuri: Isn't this the part where you deny it?
Fuck it, let them think we're banging each other, Kairi can get uber jealous and Estelle may leave you alone.
Yuri: Fair enough…
Alright enough resting. Lets just set up camp to head for Harbor 1.
Yuri: Isn't is Nor Har-
Harbor 1. I give no shets, that place is so fucked up anyways, always some problem happening for those people.
[Magically warped to the field with a camp all set and fancy ass food served, cause cooking takes too much effort! Who the fuck invented cooking anyways! *nom nom*]
Morning now! Time to go to Halure then to Harbor 1! *puff of smoke in front of the Mayor's house*
Mayor: You're the people who raided my damn fridge! Get off my property!
Rita: I don't give a thot about you, I'mma go look at the blastia cause…..blastia…*leaves*
Yuri: I'll go get her.
Nah give it a second.
Rita: *poofs back to the front* WTF!
Plot demands you stay here, now look, it's the Gay Fish and Perverted Midget!
Gay Fish: I am not a Gay Fish, I say!
Pervit: Nor am I a perverted midget!
Not according to the text in this fiction with your names.
Gay Fish and Pervit: FFFFUUUUUUUUUU-
*We all kick their asses before they break the damn camera*
Leblanc: My men! How dares joo!
Yuri: Not our fault they're so damn weak.
Good, now protect us, cause we gotta go on the run.
Leblanc: What?
Yuri: We do?
Knife…
Yuri: What?
Kairi: Yuri! RUN! *Dragging Yuri before the Red Eye's knives cut off his LUXURIOUS DELICIOUS SPARKLY ASS HAIR!*
Yuri: WHOA! Thanks!
Estelle: Wait for me! I still need to bang Flyn- I mean catch up with Flynn! *runs*
Rita: HOLD ON! YOU'RE RUNNING OFF WITH MY PINK BIT-I MEAN RESEARCH SUBJECT! *runs*
Karol: How much will you pay me….?
Hmmmm, 200 gald…
Karol: Fair enough….GYAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH! *runs*
*puts on Deal with It shades, walking out of Halure like a boss while Leblanc proceeds to be blown up which kills all the red eyes, but he survives cause he's a fucking IMMORTAL!*
Meh, I don't think I did…too…badly…..ok it sucks, but come on, I need my sugar ;w; the sugar I can't have T-T
