Ashe's Rant Corner!
Long time no see my dear reader-tachi-sama! I live! Yet again I apologize for disappearing for a very very long time. University literally drained the shit out of me. Thesis, research and internship kept me away from writing and I cannot tell you how many times I just wanted to throw the paperwork out and come back to writing. Buuuuuut I have finally graduated from college and ya girl just got her degree in Psychology last week! Yay! I am officially unemployed hahahahuhuhu. I'm currently reviewing for my liscensure exams but that isn't nearly as difficult as university so I do have more time to continue writing.
I'd like to take this moment to thank everyone who continued to support me as a writer despite my hiatus (more like constant and sudden disappearances). You do not know how much I appreciate each one of you and how my heart warms every time I see a review or an email that encourages me to come back. I love you all to bits! I am back and I will not abandon this fic. I promise you that.
So here I am with another long ass chapter and I hope you enjoy it.
梅花
(UME)
Plum Blossoms
Life is a balance of holding on and letting go
They say that when you are hurt, you learn to hurt. I believe that is very true for if it were not, I would not be feeling satisfied by the utter disbelief in Ichigo's face.
His mouth hung open, probably at a loss after hearing such coming from me. Me of all people. He had never anticipated this from Inoue Orihime - definitely not from the meek and frail servant girl Orihime. But the thing was, I was no longer a slave and he could not do whatever he wanted with me anymore. I refuse to let him.
Seconds passed by us and I could not tell if he was going to apologize or snap at me. Obviously, he didn't either.
"There you are Shiori-chan!" a jovial voice interrupted the tense atmosphere that was surrounded us. I shifted on my feet to turn to the person who was calling me and found no other than Kurosaki Isshin-san waving animatedly at me as he made his way to where we were standing.
Despite the anger that was brewing within me, a smile broke out. "Be careful Kurosaki-san, you might trip" I said.
"Ah!" he exclaimed when he spotted his son behind me, "I see you've met my idiotic son, Ichigo" he chuckled. "Hey you better not be flirting with Shiori-chan" he warned, glaring accusingly at Ichigo.
"Why do you always have to be so annoying?" the orange haired man grumbled, his scowl deep with genuine annoyance.
For a moment, I was about to whirl around and tell him off for being rude to his father but then I realized that that was a very Orihime thing to do. It was not that I was trying to hide my identity from them, I just wanted them to know that I was not the same Orihime anymore. I was not their friend anymore. And so I pursed my lips together and looked away.
"Retsu, she is as marvelous as you are" Kurosaki-san regarded my mentor kindly. To which Retsu-san replied with a simple, "Thank you. That is why I chose her"
We were invited back inside the ochaya where most of the members of the Kurosaki and Kuchiki clans where. As soon as we entered the room, all eyes were on me - scrutinizing me as though they were dissecting me to the very core. I bowed towards them, still trying to hide how nervous I actually was.
Of course, Rukia was there as well. Seated next to Kuchiki Byakuya who now, followed my every move with cold gray eyes. I, on the other hand, was asked to sit in the middle of Kurosaki-san and Kaien-san - much to my relief. Kaien-san offered me a bright smile when I took my place next to him.
Ichigo sat dutifully next to his fiancée, right across from me. As I looked at them both now, I wanted to both laugh and cry.
How cruel fate was for us to end up like this. For me to end up hating the two people I loved the most.
"May I introduce, Retsu's little sister, the newest maiko in the hanamachi" Kurosaki-san announced, "Shiori-chan." He regarded me with warm eyes that I always saw in Ichigo when he spoke to me, making every single time the kind man looked at me, bittersweet. "Wasn't her performance wonderful?" he added, prompting the people around us to applaud.
"You have a very beautiful voice!" a young girl with light brown hair in low pigtails exclaimed from Ichigo's side. And I remember Ichigo telling me about how his sisters were twins yet so unalike each other. One, with honey brown locks and the other, dark like a clear night sky. This must be Yuzu-chan. I thought.
"Thank you so much. I am flattered" I bowed to her in thanks. And as I did so, I discretely took a look at her from under my lashes. She had the same brown eyes as Ichigo but hers shone with innocence and optimism – eyes of a girl who had been sheltered all her life.
Next to her, sat a girl who had the same face but with raven tresses like Kurosaki-san's. I presumed that this was Karin-chan, Yuzu-chan's fraternal twin. She was the exact opposite of Yuzu-chan. She looked me over with impassive gray eyes and it occurred to me that unlike Yuzu-chan, she was more aware of her surroundings. I was not sure if the nervousness I was feeling was making me see things or if Karin-chan had looked at me as though she already knew me. As though I did not have to be introduced because she knew.
I pulled myself away from my useless musings and turned my attention to the task at hand; entertaining the Kurosaki and Kuchiki clans. Gingerly, I took the teapot in front of me and poured some for Kaien-san, who murmured his thanks.
"I've certainly never heard a song quite like that" the old woman next to Kuchiki Byakuya-san commented.
"Oh but that's because it's a song from a far, far, far, faaaaaaar place" a woman's menacing voice interjected. It had been months since I had heard her voice and yet I could not say I missed it. Entering with the General was no other than the self-proclaimed greatest geisha in all of Karakura, Shutara-san. "Would you mind if we sat with you?" she asked Kurosaki-san, who all but agreed.
And just as she was sitting down, I heard Rukia heave an annoyed sigh as her eyes rolled in disdain. Of course, only I saw this little change in her expression and it reminded me of the Rukia I had met as a girl.
"My, are you not the debutante maiko?" Shutara-san asked in her mock kind tone. Her voice going up a pitch, making me cringe at every syllable.
"Hajimemashite. My name is Shiori" I supplied, bowing to her.
"Ah what a lovely name" she replied half-heartedly as she lit her general's cigarette. "It seems like new maiko are popping up every minute now. Why, nowadays, even maids call themselves geisha and peasants pass themselves off as noblewomen" she said with a smile on her face, masking the poison that was spouting from her mouth, "isn't that right, Rukia-san?"
Rukia's adoption was the Kuchiki clan's biggest secret. Being one of the greatest houses in Japan, it would be such a scandal if the people discovered that their so called 'heiress' did not even have a drop of Kuchiki blood in her and was actually from the slums of Inuzuri. And Shutara-san was using that to her advantage.
The head of their clan though, knew how to deal with people like Shutara-san for he acted as though he did not hear anything. He knew that it was not worth wasting saliva on stooping down so low as to start a fight with the geisha. But I was so sure that I saw Kuchiki-san tighten his jaw, probably holding back from snapping back at Shutara-san.
"Oh how you've grown, Rukia-san" but it seemed Shutara-san was not finished, "Why, you look nothing like the girl I met a few years back." To the oblivious, her words were harmless but to us, who knew, she was insinuating Rukia's background.
An awkward chuckle erupted from the old Kuchiki woman, whom I was told stood as Rukia's governess. "She certainly has. Rukia was a bit of a tomboy before" she said, "but thanks to Kaien-san here, she's turning out to be a refined noblewoman"
At that, Kaien-san sheepishly rubbed the back of his neck and muttered "Oh I didn't do anything, it was all Rukia"
And then I witnessed the strangest thing.
Rukia blushed.
In all the time I've spent with Rukia, I had never seen her flush a bright pink because of a compliment. I had seen her fluster when she made a mistake but she never reacted as such when praised. I dropped the teacup I was handing over to Yuzu-chan when I realized that Rukia's reaction was that of a girl in front of a boy she liked. I was so thoroughly perplexed. Wasn't she engaged to Ichigo? Didn't she love him?
"Oh dear" Shutara-san's mock concerned voice pulled me out of my stupor, "That's okay, Shiori, people make mistakes" She smiled at me to somehow comfort me but I knew deep inside, she was making fun of me. "Just remember what you were taught as a shikomi" she patted my hand tenderly, unnerving me.
I bowed to her lightly just to acknowledge what she said for formalities sake but she threw me another haughty glance before turning her attention to Kaien-san. "So I hear you are teaching Rukia-san English" she started.
"Yes" Kaien-san nodded, "As the heiress of the Kuchiki clan, she expressed her wish to be able to communicate with the foreigners who come to do business with them without an interpreter"
"How very admirable" she remarked, voice dripping in sarcasm.
Rukia shifted in her seat and finally spoke "Thank you but I still have a long way to go"
A twisted grin split Shutara-san's face, one that meant she was going to rain hell on Rukia and humiliate her in front of everyone there. "Well I say, fake it till you make it. From what I see, you've already made it" she said in such a sweet tone and with such a dazzling smile that if you hadn't heard the connotation of her statement, you might have deemed her a living saint. This was one of Shutara-san's talents, modulating her voice to mask the spite laced in her every word.
I don't know why but somehow, Shutara-san attacking Rukia like that made my blood boil. I hated Rukia but that did not mean that Shutara-san could put her down in front of all these people. That still did not give her the right to demean anyone.
"If I may" I spoke up, "I would like to thank Shutara-san for helping me on my first day as a maiko." I shot Retsu-san a glance, silently asking her for permission to retaliate – to fight back for once. And when she nodded, I turned to the senior geisha of my Okiya and bowed to her gracefully but with eyes never leaving hers.
"You don't have to, Shiori" she responded, taking me up on my challenge, "I was a maiko once. Even monkeys fall off trees sometimes"
I perked up at her words, exactly what I needed to hear. "Oh but that was a long, long, long, looong time ago" I said innocently and as the men began to laugh, her face sagged into an ugly scowl.
"But even though you are a thing of the past, we, younger geisha must continue to emulate and learn from you" with that said, I flashed her the brightest smile I could muster.
Everyone in the room burst into laughter and I could see the anger swirl in Shutara-san's dark orbs. She was seething now, so much that her fury was tangible. And I wanted just that. I wanted her to know that I was not backing down - not anymore. That she can't do this to me – to anyone for that matter. She didn't have the right to step on other people and their feelings and revel in others' discomfort.
And from the corner of my eye, I saw Rukia eye Shutara-san arrogantly, a satisfied smirk tugging at the edge of her lips. As though to say 'you definitely deserved that'.
When the party ended and Retsu-san and I were on our way back to the apartment, Shutara-san yanked me by the elbow forcefully. Before I could even protest, she had already slapped me. "How dare you!" she snarled, her face like that of an angry wolf, "How dare you embarrass me in front of all those people!"
Had I been the servant girl that she once knew, I would have cowered in fear and apologized immediately but that was no longer happening. I looked her straight in the eye and said "I was only returning the favor" before pulling myself away from her grasp and returning to where my Onee-san was waiting for me.
~.~.~.~.~
The very next morning, Aizen-san asked for me to come to his mansion.
I did not understand why but it seemed that even though Aizen-san was Retsu-san's danna, she had very little faith in him. Earlier, she asked me to never go anywhere near the man without an escort and by escort, she meant Hanatarou-kun. And so, on occasions when Onee-san could not accompany me, Hanatarou-kun was with me.
A lot of people laughed at the thought of him being my chaperon. It was true that he was not the most masculine of men, was clumsy to a fault and was extremely nervous around people but I enjoyed his company very much. Despite how he looked, he was very knowledgeable and offered his kindness to everyone - even those who bully him. Which was why I despise the way people view Hanatarou-kun. You see, people like to gossip and spread rumors about him and Retsu-san. They say that he was a shameful man who lets a geisha use him for sex in exchange for money and a place to stay. But they know nothing of him or Retsu-san.
Apparently, Hanatarou-kun's family served the Kuchikis for generations and his older brother, Seinosuke-san, was even Kuchiki Byakuya-san's personal servant. But when Hanatarou-san was 13, he expressed how he wanted to be educated and to learn how to read instead of being cooped up in the kitchen. His father had disowned him when he had been caught sneaking into classes of a nearby school. Retsu-san had taken him in after he was cast out and let him go to school in exchange for being her house caretaker.
If you asked me, for standing up to his own family for what he really wants, Hanatarou-kun was a lot braver than the men who steal and plunder just because they are strong and burly.
"Ah the Ume have blossomed" Hanatarou-kun expressed as we walked out of the house.
True enough, the plum blossoms where now in full bloom and the wind was filled with their sweet fragrance. I took a breath and savored the fresh spring air. Things really were starting to change. It was still chilly and remnants of winter lingered but with the emergence of these beautiful pink flowers, everyone was filled with the hope. Spring had definitely arrived.
With the dainty color of the blossoms, I was suddenly reminded of Rukia and how her cheeks flushed when Kaien-san complimented her. I knew I shouldn't think much of it, but it bothered me because I had this feeling in the pit of my stomach that she looked at Kaien-san as more than just her mentor.
"Are you alright, Orihime-san?" Hanatarou-kun inquired, stopping me in my tracks.
"I-I'm fine" I stuttered self-consciously, ashamed that I had been lost in thought yet again that I failed to hear what he was saying.
"Should we go back to get you your haori?" he asked and was starting to turn back but I held him back.
And then I realized, if anyone knew about Rukia and the Kuchiki clan, it had to be Hanatarou-kun. After all, he did serve them for most of his life and still went there occasionally to visit his older brother.
"Hanatarou-kun," I started, prompting him to continue walking with me, "what do you know about Kuchiki Rukia?" I inquired hesitantly.
"Rukia-san" he repeated, a little confused, "well she is a very nice person." He rubbed his chin in thought. "She came to the Kuchiki Tokyo estate when she was 12 or something for formal training. I heard she had been living here in Karakura prior but her governess was neglectful and so she was not getting the education that was required for her as the heiress"
I had to admit, the Kuchikis fabricated a good story but I kept that thought to myself as we crossed the bridge towards the central town square. "I had the chance to personally serve Rukia-san" my chaperone beamed, "She was very kind to me. She talked to me and would even ask me to sit down and have tea with her sometimes"
"But she is a very lonely person" he added, and the tone of his voice plummeted. "She was never allowed to go outside the mansion and was only allowed to speak to Ichigo-san, who often came by to visit her"
With that said, my mind ran a million miles. Is that how they fell in love? I wanted to ask but I'd rather not talk about them. What I wanted was to understand was the nature of Kaien-san and Rukia's relationship. "And Kaien-san?" I mumbled, trying to sound as casual as possible.
"Oh Kaien-san!" the young man exclaimed, "He is good friends with Rukia-san. He often visits her too and even offered to teach Rukia-san since she isn't very good with calligraphy. He's the nicest among all her tutors" he said. "But you know, Orihime-san, if I had not known that Ichigo-san and Rukia-san were together, I would think that Rukia-san was quite smitten with Kaien-san." And then when it dawned upon him that he had been ranting about his former mistress's personal life. He clamped a hand over his mouth, so hard that the impact sounded strange, painful even.
"Don't worry Hanatarou-san, it's a secret I can keep. After all, who would I share it with" I assured him. I was not lying though, because sadly, aside from Hanatarou-san, I had no one else to talk to.
He smiled at me, his complete trust in me written all over his face. And as we made our way to town and talked some more, I felt guilt bite at me for not telling Hanatarou-san that Ichigo and Rukia were actually my childhood friends. I had not intended to hide anything from him, it was just that if he asked, it would still be quite painful for me to talk about.
Just when we arrived at the town square, Hanatarou-san let out a loud shriek that startled me so badly, I shrieked too. "What is it?" I asked.
"I'm so stupid!" he cried. "I promised Sato-san that I would pick up the tofu which I had asked to be reserved for us, this morning. But we have to go to Aizen-san's and I don't know what time we will be back and if I don't pick it up now, Sato-san will sell it to another person and we won't have dinner tonight" he panicked.
I giggled at Hanatarou-kun's silly antics because somehow, he was just like me with how he spoke fast when he was anxious. And so I placed a hand on his shoulder and tried to calm him down. "We still have an hour before we are expected at Aizen-san's" I told him, "You can go and do what you must and I will wait over there by the park" I pointed to the botanical garden just across from where we stood.
"I truly am sorry" he began to grovel and I had to haul him to his feet so that we would not draw so much attention. "I will make haste!" he promised before dashing off towards the market.
I sighed as I watched Hanatarou-kun's back. He really was funny one but I would not have him any other way.
I made my way towards the park and sat myself on a stone bench underneath a large plum blossom tree. People had been tittering around me for a while now and I was quite sure that I was the subject of their whispers. I would like to think that I was used to people talking about me behind my back since I did have strange hair and eyes but I found that even after all these years, it still made me so uncomfortable.
It was such a lovely day and I had wanted to enjoy it but the weight of their stares bore heavily on me and I could not help but revert to biting my lip and fiddling with the hems of my sleeves to somehow distract myself. A nervous tick I had not outgrown. But as I was chewing my lip off, I heard the faint sound of sobbing.
I stood to look for where the crying child might be and found a little girl crouched near the bushes to my left. Gingerly, I approached her and with the gentlest voice, I asked "What's wrong, little girl? Are you hurt?" I bent towards her and touched her shoulder.
At the sound of my voice, she lifted her head to reveal tear-filled dark gray eyes and flushed cheeks. She had shoulder length brown hair and sniffed as she looked up to me. "Why are you crying?" I inquired again.
"B-Be-"she choked on her tears, her voice shaking, "Because Onii-chan won't let me play with him" she pointed to a group of older boys kicking a ball around. "He-He said M-Miyuki cannot play with boys because she's a girl"
I sighed in relief, at least she wasn't physically hurt. A sympathetic smile dawned on my lips. Miyuki-chan looked to be around 5 years old and her older brother, probably 7 or 8. As she continued to wail, fat tears rolling down her cheeks. I saw myself in her. My smile melted as I gazed at her with sad eyes. It was not that the boys in our village did not want girls to play with them, they just didn't want me to play with them. After all, who would ever want to play with an ayakashi, a water ghost?
"Miyuki-chan" I called and she wiped her eyes to look at me. "Would you like me to tell you a story instead?"
She stared at me for a few seconds before she sniffled, "What story?" With a smile, I coaxed her to come sit with me on the stone bench. I settled her next to me and took a moment to pick a story for Miyuki-chan.
"How about the story of Tsuru Nyobo?"
The little girl cocked her head at me in puzzlement, "Crane Wife?" she asked
In all the time I spent in Karakura, I came to a realization that despite all the claims about city life being better than provincial life, the city lacked stories and songs of their own. In Fugai, there were so many lores and tales passed down to children from their parents. Tales about nature, love and virtue.
The powdery snow flutters down,
coloring the mountain ridge white
The two inside a run-down house in a desolate village
huddle together in the winter night
Miyuki-chan's eyes grew wide when I began to sing. It must have been strange that I promised her a story yet she was hearing a song. But this was how stories were told in Fugai, through melody. Maybe it was because my village was such a backward place that we still told stories like minstrels.
"It'd also been snowing the day we'd met,"
you murmured with a smile
And I'd hidden my face flushed from the hearth
within the shadow of your large sleeve
Much to my surprise, a few more children had begun to come to me and sit on the grass in front of me. All of them, like moths attracted to lamps.
With a breath of joy,
I sang of spring's arrival along with the chirping birds
"Your voice is beautiful," you told me,
and that alone, just those words, made me so happy
The Crane Wife tells of a poor farmer who came across a crane caught in a trap. Feeling bad for the bird, he freed it. One winter night, a woman came to him, asking for shelter from the snow storm. The two fell in love and they got married.
"If someday, I no longer had this beautiful voice,
would you still, even then, love me?"
"Of course," you said, smiling gently
as your large hand softly stroked my cheek
They lived in bliss for a while, until one summer day, the husband fell ill. Being humble farmers, they could not afford the medicine that would cure the husband. Determined to not let her husband wither away like the autumn leaves, the Crane Wife began to weave silk brocade from her feathers to sell so that she could buy her husband medicine.
As her husband's condition worsened, she weaved ceaselessly, to the point of ruining her hands. Her husband saw her swollen and wounded hands but still declared that they are beautiful and that he would love her no matter what happens.
Still, the Crane Wife continued to weave, trying to make it before the last of the autumn leaves fell. And in doing so, she ended up using all of her feathers.
"If someday, I were no longer a human,
would you still love me?"
The truth I feared left unable to be told,
I softly pluck the final feather alone…
My voice softened at this point for the words of the song saddened me. She had failed to tell her husband what she really was and in losing her feathers, she must return to where she came from unless she wanted to die.
To leave the one you love the most. Her heart must be torn into pieces. I thought.
"Of - "I was about to sing the last verse when I was suddenly interrupted.
"Of course," I say, smiling
A man sang back to me.
A tall man with brown hair and gentle eyes, stood before me. I was so astounded that I froze in place. He knew the song. Even stranger, he continued my song. It was like something I had read out of a book. Surely, situations like these don't really happen . . . right?
The children who had gathered to listen to me looked back at the man, eyes glistening with wonder as they listened to him.
I promised I'd embrace you when you lost your wings
And that crane which had beautifully taken flight that day,
I've never forgotten, and still remember, even now
He had a voice that made you feel as though you were gravitating towards him. It was like when he opens his mouth you would not want to do anything but listen to him. And he sang in a way that would make you believe as though he was the Crane Wife's husband.
And just like always, I love you
His words rang clear.
He never broke eye contact with me as he sang the last line.
We stared at each other when the song ended and there was complete silence. I only snapped out of my trance when Miyuki-chan clapped her hands and began cheering in delight. The other children soon followed after her and began expressing their glee.
The funny thing with children is that they are easily carried away. I do not know how they ever came up with the conclusion but they have somehow been convinced that I was the Crane Wife and the man whom I have never even met before was my husband.
The man laughed as some of the children bombarded him with questions. Though he looked genuinely happy to have entertained them. Seeing this made me smile. That was until the kids began to pull him towards me, shouting 'You have to go to your wife!'
I began to panic because he didn't seem to be protesting and was even letting them drag him to me. I wanted to flee this bizarre situation but Miyuki-chan had climbed onto my lap and I could not just dump her on the bench to go hide. And before I knew it, the man was standing right in front of me.
I gazed up at him, completely thunderstruck.
"You have a very lovely voice" he said, offering me a tender smile.
"Uh- I – you "I stumbled over my words, "You- you sing very beautifully" I mustered to say.
He chuckled as a response and he sat beside me, completely ignoring the children who were still holding onto every word we said. "You are from Fugai, are you not?" he said.
"I am" I replied, shocked that he guessed right because when I tell people where I was from they laugh and consider it a joke. "How did you know?" I probed.
"Only people from Fugai tell Tsuru Nyobo in such a manner. And only people from Fugai know Shikiore no Hane" he said. Yes it was true that we referred to the story as Feathers across the Seasons rather than Crane Wife.
By this time, the children had grown tired of us now and had gone back to playing. Even Miyuki-chan had asked to slip out of my grasp to go play with little girls her age.
"It is nice to hear something from home" the man sighed, looking up at the plum blossom petals falling from above us. There was something refreshing about this man. He was handsome – the kind that wasn't even trying to be attractive but was. And I suddenly felt ashamed for gawking at him.
"Oh!" he suddenly exclaimed, "I forgot to introduce myself. I'm Ogidou Harunobu" he bowed to me.
I reciprocated his bow, "I'm Ino-" I was about to say but caught myself just in time. "I'm Shiori" I said. "It is so nice to know that I am not the only person here who hails from Fugai"
He didn't say anything in reply, he simply stared into my eyes as though searching for something. "I remember you" he said softly, "but I believe you weren't a Shiori then"
I stiffened at his words. He knew me? But I didn't know who he was. I had never met an Ogidou Harunobu-san before. "I'm so sorry" I immediately supplied, "It's very imprudent of me. I do not know you even though we come from the same village"
Jolly laughter erupted from his chest, "That's fine" he said in between laughs, "I was born and raised in Fugai but we left when I was fairly young. Besides, I lived on the other side"
Oh that's why. He lived in the wealthier parts of Fugai, just like Riku-san. I still found it strange though, how he, who lived far from the shore, even recognized me. But he seemed to have read my mind because he smiled at me and said "I recognized you because there was only one girl in Fugai who had hair as bright as yours and eyes like rain"
I wish I had met him when I was a child, because then we would be greeting each other now like old friends who have not seen each other in a long time. Maybe if that had been the case, I would have had a friend from Fugai.
"Ogidou!" a stern voice shouted from afar, "the director is looking for you, dammit! You can't just skip rehearsals" a man from the theater seethed.
Harunobu-san clicked his tongue in annoyance and quickly yelled "Shut up Iemura" back at the man before turning to me. "It really was nice meeting you, Shiori-san. I hope to see you again" and with that said, he jogged off to appease the furious man.
I was in a daze, even minutes after he had left I was still in a daze.
What a very strange encounter.
~.~.~.~.~
When we arrived at Aizen-san's estate, we were immediately greeted by his numerous staff. His household staff was a mix of both Japanese and Western people. And it suddenly occurred to me that he must definitely be a man of power if even people from another country come to serve him. It also frightened me a little bit.
We were ushered by Tesra-san who until now could not look me in the eye, thus making me incredibly uncomfortable as well. But I could not blame him, we did use him as a test subject.
As we neared Aizen-san's study, his personal secretary, Tia Harribel-san stepped out of the room. A tall woman, with olive skin, aqua eyes, gold hair and was very intimidating. In the numerous times I've visited this estate, I had seen her several times, talking in hushed tones with Aizen-san, reminding him of appointments and important matters. But they always spoke in another language which was why I never had the chance to even greet her. Because we tend to do that, right? Shy away from foreigners whom we cannot communicate well with.
And just like always, when we passed by each other, Tia-san only looked at me as a form of acknowledgement of my presence before speaking to Tesra-san briefly and striding towards wherever she was needed.
"I am afraid Aizen-san still has company" Tesra-san said in his usual dull voice. "May I interest you in some tea as we wait for-"
"That isn't necessary Tesra" the Minister of Foreign Affairs's voice cut off, "We'll have tea together so if you could, have it sent to my study"
"Certainly, sir" the blond man nodded.
"Thank you, Tesra-san" I murmured to him but he simply flushed a bright pink and hurriedly went on his way.
"Ah perfect timing, Shiori" Aizen-san's deep voice made me turn back to him. He said something in English to the man he was with and I had only picked up the words 'Shiori', and 'Retsu'. So I could only conclude that he was introducing me to his companion.
The tall man looked to me and commented something in English yet again.
I have seen my fair share of foreigners since I pledged my allegiance to Aizen-san but I have never met anyone quite like this man. He was as tall as Aizen-san, but he was incredibly lanky- boney even - with sharp features. With a head full of silver hair, I couldn't quite decide whether I found him attractive or strange – maybe both. He had his eyes in small slits and seemed to be constantly smiling. And yet despite his affable appearance, I was scared of him.
He smiled at me, a wide grin that almost split his face in half, and he looked as though he was expecting something from me.
Not wanting to look rude and make Aizen-san look bad, I rummaged through my brain for a greeting that I heard from Ichigo when he once attempted to teach me English.
"H-How do –do you do?" I said with a heavy accent, coupling it with the brightest smile I could muster to mask my uncertainty. Saying that foreign phrase felt heavy- it felt awkward
Suddenly, the man's eyes opened, revealing eyes like the color of the sky. "Well whaddya have here?" he said in a distinct Kyoto accent, startling me that he was fluent in Japanese. "It ain't every day you see a geisha who can speak English" he said, his voice in a disconcerting tone of mock politeness.
"Shiori is quite special" Aizen-san added and I was not sure why my face burned as his hand settled on my shoulder. "Oh Shiori, this is Ichimaru Gin, he is Japan's ambassador to Prussia" he introduced. I gave him a rather nervous bow and an almost inaudible "It is a pleasure to meet you".
The silver haired man's smirk widened as he brought his face closer to mine. "And my, aren't ya pretty" he said in a low voice that was so different from when he greeted me the first time. "The foreigners would surely love to be greeted by someone as charming as this young lady, don't you think so Aizen?" he didn't even break eye contact with me as he spoke to Aizen-san and under his keen eyes, I felt like prey.
There was a shift in Aizen-san and I peered up to look at him. There was a pensive glint in his eyes, as though he was really considering Ichimaru-san's suggestion. "Oh well I have to go" the slender man blurted out, "Ya know how time flies when yer having fun, right?" he chuckled at his own joke. "I'll see ya around Aizen and it was nice meetin' ya Shiori-chan" he was back to that eerie cheery sing-song voice of his.
"Bye-bye!" he waved.
Even when he was gone, I could still feel my skin crawl. I felt like I had been forced to stand naked in front of a stranger and I could do nothing to cover myself up as he examined me. I clutched my arm trying to shrug the feeling off.
Aizen-san must have felt my discomfort because his hand tightened on my shoulder as he regarded me. "Come now Orihme, tea will be served shortly" as he led me inside his study, Hanatarou-san trailing behind us.
Still there was this mysterious air around Aizen-san, even though I had been in his company a lot I still could not read him. For someone who held such power over the country, he was strangely soft-spoken and kind towards everyone. He always regarded his subordinates warmly and liked to make small talk. He was obviously intelligent and had an appreciation for beauty and arts. He seemed like the epitome of an honorable man and yet I could not help but feel cautious whenever I was around him. I couldn't explain why I had this strong feeling that this man was extremely dangerous despite my intuition being baseless.
He ushered me to sit right next to him as the tea was being served. And just like him, the way his liked his tea served was contradicting. Shincha, special Japanese green tea, in expensive Parisian porcelain tea sets.
"I'd like to congratulate you on your successful debut" he began.
"Oh thank you" I replied bashfully, "but I wouldn't have a debut had it not been for you Aizen-san"
My words seem to please him because a small smile crept on his lips, "Oh but that is all you" he countered. "You are the talk of all of Karakura now. The maiko with a voice of an angel" It was often because of how gallant Aizen-san was that almost always question why she distrust this man so much.
"And you handled meeting with Kurosaki Ichigo and Kuchiki Rukia again very well" he continued to shower me with praises to the point where I became a bumbling mess who cannot form any coherent words of thanks. Antics to which Aizen-san simply chuckled at.
"Say, Orihime, would you like to learn English?" he suddenly said, catching me completely off guard.
"I – well . . . I – it was" I tried to look for the right words. "I- I would like to but I –"
"Then I'll ask someone to teach you" he declared, his eyes filled with new found interest. "It will be very beneficial for us if you knew how to speak how English"
My brows furrowed at this, "Why is that?" I inquired.
"The Emperor is coming to Kyoto for the Miyako Odori and he has invited foreign delegates to watch with him to show them the beauty of our culture. And I want you to be the one to show them around – to entertain them" he explained.
"But Aizen-san, the Miyako Odori is but months away! I couldn't possibly – "but I didn't get to finish protesting because he laid a hand on mine and said " You can, Orihime" in such a tender tone that I felt my heart begin to thunder in my chest, "You are an incredibly talented woman. I will get you the best tutor and I will be there for you every step of the way"
And just like before, I couldn't refuse his proposition.
As expected of Aizen-san, he didn't let me go home unescorted. Yet again, he asked Starrk-san to drive Hanatarou-san and myself home. And though my chaperone was telling me something, I could not bring myself to focus on what he was saying. No, my mind kept going back to my conversation with Aizen-san.
Did I really have the guts to make the Emperor notice me?
~.~.~.~.~
When Retsu-san returned from her business trip, she wasted no time in preparing me for the next step we were to take to further my career as a geisha. Apparently, the head director of the theater had just come back from his visit to Europe and had been inspired by Western theater. He had plans on making this year's Miyako Odori very different from what we were all used to.
"Orihime, what is the oldest known story in Japan?" she asked me out of the blue.
"Uh" I panicked for a moment because I wasn't really sure, "Kaguya-hime no Monogatari?"
She simply nodded, "And since it is, that is that is what Rojurou-san will stage this Miyako Odori"
The Miyako Odori, or Dance of the Capital, is an annual festival where in the Geisha showcase their talents to promote Kyoto. It is a widely celebrated occasion and a most imperative opportunity for us geisha. Usually, for the whole month, the geisha perform spring dances and to culminate the whole event; a grand dance drama. Though I have not met him yet, I heard that Director Ototibashi Rojurou-san only chooses the best among all the best geisha in all of Kyoto.
"You will audition for the main role" my Onee-san proclaimed.
I choked on my tea and ended up a hacking mess. I spilt some on my kimono and searched blindly for something to wipe it off with. "But Onee-san!" I protested. I was not the best dancer. I knew that all too well and I was certain Retsu-san knew this as well.
"You will and you will get the part" she declared in a daunting determination. She put the kimono down and she directed he full attention to me. "Hard work surpasses talent by a mile" she said, "and you are one of the most diligent people I know"
I was at awe. I've heard a lot of encouragement from a lot of people. I have heard a lot of praises as well but when Retsu-san said things like 'you can do it', 'you will do good' it was as though she was not cheering you on but reminding you that you can. And suddenly, I was filled with a strange surge of determination.
"You will practice" she said in her usual authoritative tone, "and I will be with you" she added with a smile.
And so that was what I did. I practiced from dawn to dusk. Infused the movement of the tennyo, the heavenly maiden, into my muscles. Engrained the story into my mind until I knew it by heart.
"Remember Orihime" Retsu-san once said, "Kaguya-hime is a celestial maiden, her movements must be ethereal and graceful - unearthly"
Oh but that was the problem. Kaguya-hime was graceful and I am everything but graceful. I trip on air and stumble over dust. I didn't think there was anything remotely 'heavenly' about me nor did I know how to project being a celestial maiden. And so even though I had memorized the steps and knew the storyline, there was always something amiss.
~.~.~.~.~
One day, Retsu-san let me rest from rehearsals to take me to a Sumo match. "Isshin-san would like us to keep them company" my Onee-san said as we made our way to the arena.
I knew that Sumo was a very popular sport but I had never seen it which must explain why I had no interest in it whatsoever. As we entered, the smell of cigarette assaulted my nose almost immediately, along with the distinct scent of alcohol. I wrinkled my nose out of instinct. My nights were filled with smoke and sake already but somehow I still could not get used to their smell.
I looked around the arena and found that, naturally, majority of the spectators were men, with just a handful of women here and there. At the center were two giants battling, shoving each other to see who could overpower who. Ah so this is what men find entertaining. I thought dryly.
Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted Kurosaki-san and company at the front row. Yet again he was with Ichigo and Kuchiki Byakuya but this time, they had two more men with them. Just as Retsu-san and I were making our way to them, she stopped abruptly. I bumped into her, "Onee-san?" I inquired but as I looked to her, I backed away. For she had the most frightening countenance I have ever seen.
The thing with Retsu-san was that she was rarely angered or annoyed but when she was, she was certainly terrifying. She would have this stone-like expression on her face, and her jaw would tighten as though she was holding back from lashing out on someone and her voice would be unnervingly calm. Though her anger was never towards me, it still always scared me.
"That snake" she hissed sharply, a tone I had never heard from her in all the time I had been under her tutelage.
I looked to where her gaze was set and found no other than Shutara-san sauntering towards the opposite side of where we stood. "She's doing to you what she did to me" she said through gritted teeth. "She will stalk you to find out who your clients are and she will steal them away from you" she explained.
That sounded like something Shutara-san would do. "What do we do know, Onee-san?" I asked in a hushed tone.
"Turn your attention to Kuchiki Byakuya"
I stared at Retsu-san with my mouth slightly agape. "Onee-san" I started to protest, "but Kuchiki-san is-" I started with indignation.
"Shutara-san cannot stand Kuchiki Byakuya. Her advances never worked on him so she hates him and will not dare to steal him from you" she commanded sharply, leaving me no choice but to follow her.
My chest felt heavy as we made our way down to Kurosaki-san and company. I did not want to entertain Kuchiki-san because in all honesty he intimidated me too – to the point where I'm pretty sure every time I feel his gazed at me, I felt like ice was running through my veins. I was afraid of him. But I had to trust Retsu-san.
I could hear Kurosaki-san shouting and cheering as we approached them. "Isshin-san" Onee-san called out, "It's been a while". But he seemed not to have noticed her. He was still screaming at the top of his lungs, "IKE! IKE! NANDA YO SORE?! CHIKUSHOU! CHANTO TATAKAU, OMAE WA!" Angrily asking what the hell was wrong with one of the wrestlers.
"Oi!" Ichigo grabbed the back of his father's coat, yanking him to sit back down. "Someone's here for you, idiot" he scoffed.
When Kurosaki-san realized that it was Retsu-san and I, his eyes gleamed with delight. "Ah what a pleasant surprise!" he beamed.
Quickly, we bowed to acknowledge Kuchiki-san and even Ichigo. From my peripheral, I saw him cast a wary glance at me. But I ignored him and focused my attention on Kuchiki-san.
"Oh you guys have not met my friend, Ishida Ryuuken, and his son, Uryuu" he motioned to the white haired man next to him and the younger one respectively.
"We are not friends" Ishida Ryuuken-san deadpanned, "we are simply business partners"
A loud whine erupted from Kurosaki-san and he pouted, "What? And after all these years we've known each other, I thought we were best friends". He took hold of Ryuuken-san's shoulders, much to his annoyance. "What about the time we bonded when we went to Netherlands when we were younger?" he cried.
With a deep exasperated sigh, Ryuuken-san shoved the Minister of Internal Affairs away from him. "And I regret ever agreeing to let you come with me to Netherlands" he grumbed.
Abruptly, Kurosaki-san turned to me, a finger pointed towards himself, and said "You know Shiori-chan, I may not look like it but I studied medicine with Ryuuken here in Netherlands too"
The look on Kurosaki-san's face, coupled with the way he said it, I just could not contain myself and a loud, ugly sort of snorting laugh escaped me. It was definitely not proper for a Geisha to laugh so openly but I was not prepared for what Kurosaki-san had said and so the only thing I could do was cover my mouth with the sleeve of my kimono and apologize for my boisterous outburst.
"What are you apologizing for?" Ichigo's voice cut me off, annoyance coupled with his intense scowl. He was not looking at me and it both hurt and angered me that he would not look at me. I was about to say something to him when from the corner of my eye, I saw Kuchiki-san throw me a glance. He looked at me as though I was the strangest thing he's ever laid eyes on. It was different from when we first met during my debut.
Just then, I remembered that Retsu-san's orders were for me to turn my attention to Kuchiki-san. And so, gathering all of my courage, I poured a cup of sake and made my way towards him. Gingerly, I sat next to him and offered it to him.
Without moving his head, he looked at me and then down at the drink. Pale, slender fingers grasped the cup and brought them up to his face for him to sniff. He paused for a while before he gave the sakazuki, the saucer like cup, back to me. "I do not like that kind of sake" he said in a low and emotionless voice.
My mouth fell agape in incredulity. Then why did you even accept it if you didn't want it? I wanted to scream but instead I just closed my mouth and bit my lip, frantically thinking a way to start a conversation with the apathetic man.
"Oh don't bother with him Shiori-chan" Kurosaki-san said. "He's been busy with his business lately that's why he has something up his ass" he chortled, laughing at his own joke.
Ishida Ryuuken-san rolled his eyes at Kurosaki-san's demeanor, "I regret coming here" he spat. The dark haired man moved to argue with the doctor yet again but their voices faded in the background as I focused on the head of the Kuchiki clan. "I do not meant to pry, I am simply curious but what is your business, Kuchiki-san?" I inquired as politely as I could.
But even though minutes had passed, he did not respond to me. He did not even bother to look at me. He simply kept his gaze trained on the Sumo wrestlers circling each other like hawks ready to pounce at each other. Now I understood why Shutara-san would not even bother with Kuchiki-san. He had the tendency to generally view everyone as not worth his time, and if Shutara-san hated something it was being disregarded. To be completely honest, I was offended as well. But I had been looked down upon almost all my life and so this one little situation would definitely not faze me.
"Kuchiki-san?"
"He's working on building more railroads here in Japan" Ichigo answered for Kuchiki-san. He gulped his sake down. He glanced at me briefly, detachment in his brown irises. "He's trying to bring more steam locomotives here" he added. His brows were set together, a tangible tension emanating from him and yet I could also feel the sadness beneath all of his efforts to set his countenance in a scowl. He looked extremely tired and for a moment, I wanted to ask him if he was okay.
"She was not asking you" Kuchiki-san cut off my train of thought.
Ichigo's scowl deepened as he regarded Kuchiki-san with a curt "Well you weren't answering her so I answered for you"
Obviously, the older man did not like the tone Ichigo was using on him. I might have been seeing thing but for a moment, I thought I saw his brow twitch. Kuchiki-san and Ichigo glared at each other. I had noticed this early on and I could not completely comprehend why but there was always an air of contempt between those two. And I often wonder where the hostility was coming from.
One thing I knew though, was that I had to break the tense air between us. "I-If-"I stumbled on my own words but successfully drew their attention to me. "I-If Kuchiki-san would be so kind as to explain to me how steam locomotives work" I said meekly, their intense gazes making me extremely nervous.
There was a pregnant pause between us and suddenly, the noisy people cheering for the Sumo match didn't matter.
Then Kuchiki's stoic expression cracked. An arrogant smirk creeping onto his usually impassive face. "And why, pray tell, should I bother explaining complex things to a geisha?" he scoffed. "I would not want to waste my breath on things you are ignorant about anyway" and with that he turned away from me.
"Arrogant prick" I heard Ichigo seethe through his gritted teeth but I cast him a look, assuring him that I was okay. That he did not have to do or say anything. And somehow it calmed him.
I had been called an idiot too many times for me to count. And it was strange but this was the first time I had been degraded in a polite way and somehow I wanted to laugh. I was slighted, of course, and yet amused at the same time. Ah being a geisha has affected my sanity. I thought. But thinking so seemed to have calmed my nerves and senses for I began to pour Kuchiki-san tea without even thinking.
I cleared my throat, hoping to get Kuchiki-san's attention once again, "I humbly beg to differ" I said as I carefully handed him the teacup. He raised a brow at me but took the cup from my hand. "It might be true that I am ignorant when it comes to steam locomotives. But then again, Kuchiki-san, do you know things about dance and tea ceremony like we geisha do?" I do not know what came over me to have said that but I surprised everyone. Actually, I surprised myself the most because I did not stammer, I did not even hesitate and quite honestly, I did not think about what I was saying.
I felt Kuchiki-san stiffen and clearly he was offended by what I had just said because he snapped his head towards me, a glare meant only for me. "I may be unfamiliar with the world in which you live but so are you when it comes to the world in which I live. But if we could help each other, teach each other about our worlds then we would not be ignorant, don't you think so?"
But then the strangest thing happened.
Kuchiki-san dropped the teacup I had just handed him, catching the attention of everyone. Thankfully, the tea did not spill on his expensive kimono but a bit had on his hand. Quickly, I whipped out a handkerchief tucked in my obi and gently took his hand to wipe it.
He did not flinch nor did he move away from me, astonishingly, he just sat there and let me.
Through my lowered lashes, I took a peek at his face to somehow gauge what might be going through his mind. His cold gray eyes were trained on me, a mixture of shock and bewilderment swirling in his orbs. His mouth was slightly open, maybe he was to say something to me but it never left his throat and he kept quiet the whole time.
As though on cue, Retsu-san announced that we still had an appointment to go to and we had to take our leave. And so, I left the handkerchief in Kuchiki-san's large hands and slowly withdrew from him. I looked him straight in the eyes and offered him a small smile. To maybe ease the harsh things I had said to him earlier. And then, I bowed, bidding them farewell.
I could feel Retsu-san beaming with pride beside me. I had thought it was because I was able to hold my own against the feared Kuchiki Byakuya. But unbeknownst to me, it was because said man's gaze never left my form until we exited the stadium.
~.~.~.~.~
The next morning, I woke up earlier than Hanatarou-kun. Well, actually, I didn't sleep at all. In a daze, I started to prepare the miso soup for our breakfast. I was so out of it that I did not even notice Hanatarou-kun come into the kitchen.
Only when he tapped my shoulder did I snap out of my stupor. "Orihime-san are you okay?" he asked, his face full of worry.
"Hanatarou-kun" I started, "When I'm in jail will you go to Ikumi-san and apologize in my behalf. Also please tell Senna-chan that she can have all the kimono I own, oh and you can have my haiku book-"
"But what do you mean?"
"I insulted the 28th head of the Kuchiki Clan, one of the great noble houses of Japan. Surely I will be arrested for saying such awful things to him" I began to blabber.
And then Retsu-san's cheerful laughter filled the kitchen. "What on earth are you talking about Orihime?" she shook her head. "You are not going anywhere, you silly girl"
"But Onee-san!"
"If Kuchiki Byakuya had been offended by you, he would have sent me a telegraph telling me to never bring you along ever"
I dropped the leeks I had been chopping and ran to her. "But Onee-san I was not thinking when I said those things to him what if-"
"Calm down" she laid a soft hand on my head, "What you did was great. You surprised him and that is a good thing" she patted my head and then fluttered her way out, a cryptic smile plastered on her lips.
Still not convinced, I turned dejectedly to Hanataro-kun. "Is that really a good thing?" I pouted.
The young man laughed nervously, reaching up to scratch the back of his neck. "I'm not sure Orihime-san but in all the years I've worked for the Kuchiki clan, one thing is for sure; Byakuya-sama does not like surprises"
~.~.~.~.~
For the next few days, I worked on my English with the one Aizen-san had hired to be my tutor. His name was Ulquiorra Schiffer, a Prussian man whom Ichimaru-san had recommended. He was a tall and slim man with hair dark as the night and eyes like glimmering jade. He had a fixed brooding expression and his tone was always dispassionate. He was very good at teaching me and thankfully, very patient as well. But do not get me wrong, he was not a lenient teacher. He expected a lot from me, required me to memorize English words given a certain amount of time and insisted that I know how to use those words in conversation.
"I do not require you to be fluent" he once said, "just that you be able to comprehend when one is speaking to you in English and you be able to reply appropriately"
I knew that a few months of learning English would not make me fluent, I knew that was impossible. But I loved learning a different language. It awakened my brain and gave me a new perspective in communicating with others. And so I, whenever I was not rehearsing, poured over all the materials Ulquiorra-san gave me.
Just because Aizen-san had ordered that I learn English, did not mean that I could skip practicing for the audition that the head director Katsuro was holding in a week. In fact, because I had to spend a few hours at Aizen-san's estate, Retsu-san extended my hours of rehearsals to compensate for the time I spent out.
"I am not satisfied" my Onee-san said when I had finished my routine, huffing and trying to catch my breath?
"Did I miss a step, Onee-san?"
She was calmly looking up at me from the corner of the room, where she sat still. The whole time, only her eyes followed my every move and that somehow made me even more of a nervous wreck. "No" she said, "you executed everything flawlessly"
I cocked my head at her, "Then what is wrong? I rehearsed everything without fail"
"And that is the problem" she immediately interjected, confusing me even more. "Everything looks so . . . rehearsed"
I did not understand. Was that not the purpose of going over the steps of the dance? So that I would not make a mistake and achieve perfection. As expected of Retsu-san, she read the things that were running through my head and she sighed. "My dear Orihime" she shook her head again, "you must remember that you are dancing as Kaguya-hime. You are not Orihime, not Shiori, but a celestial maiden from the moon."
She had left me to mull over her thoughts and go through the steps again on my own. "I am a celestial maiden" I mumbled.
The next days, I repeated in my head over and over that I was Kaguya-hime, to the point where it was my new mantra. But still, Retsu-san was not contented with my performance. And everything was starting to get to me. I was starting to forget the steps and when I forgot, I had the tendency to freeze and just blackout.
I couldn't sleep at night and I often dreaded the morning because I was afraid that I would fail during rehearsals again. And without even noticing, the day of the audition came.
As expected of the most important performance in the Miyako Odori, all of the maikos were there, hoping for the chance to dance as Kaguya-hime. Unsurprisingly, Shutara-san was there with Senna-chan.
"Senna-chan!" I called out to her when she walked passed me but she just glanced at me with sorrowful eyes and scurried to follow Shutara-san into the dressing room. We are rivals now, I knew that, but did that mean we could not be friends anymore? I thought dejectedly.
Retsu-san too had brought me into the dressing room, making sure that I was situated away from Shutara-san. She dressed me and stayed with me as we waited for my turn to dance for the director. When boredom and nervousness began to eat at my energy, I asked permission from Onee-san to walk around the garden a bit.
"Okay but you have to be back soon. I would not want you to be away when they call for you" she relented.
As I made my way to the garden, I could hear the music from the main hall where the auditions were being held. Retsu-san had instructed me not to look so that I would not feel any more anxious than I already was. But the music called out to me and something was pushing me to take a small peek, just a tiny bit. I had convinced myself that trying to see what the others were doing would not affect me at and so I crept into the main hall and slipped passed the older geisha who were watching.
To my surprise, it was Senna-chan on stage, dancing to the same piece as mine. She moved with grace, a calm expression on her face. Not finger out of place, not a hair going against her movements. And then I remembered all the times I stumbled on my feet the last few days of my practice and an ice knife struck through my heart, spreading cold into my body.
As swiftly as I could, I rushed back to Retsu-san. My heart was racing so fast that I felt as though my whole body was vibrating. When I returned to the where Retsu-san waited for me, I willed my body to calm down. My older sister would know that I disobeyed her and that definitely would not please her.
"Just in time" her quiet voice barely reached me, "you are up next"
With that said, my hands began to tremble even more. Cold sweat ran down my brows and even my breathing refused to cooperate. I looked to Retsu-san and she raised a brow at me. She knows! I panicked but she did not scold me nor did she shake her head at me. Instead, she took my hand and rubbed them together between hers to warm mine. "Calm down" she soothed.
I could instantly feel the blood returning to my hands but as the sound of applause reached my ears, fear grasped my body further. It was my turn now.
I was escorted on stage and just as I was about to step on stage, Retsu-san held me back. "Orihime" she whispered, "think of it like this, what if you were in Kaguya-hime's situation, how would you feel?" And just as quickly as a wind passes by, she let go of me and nudged me on stage.
The lantern's lights warmed my face and the stage seemed much bigger than when I saw it from the audience point of view. I gulped tensely when I spotted Director Rojurou in the middle of the room. Just then the music began to play.
Quickly, I gathered my wits to will my muscles to remember everything I had practiced. I closed my eyes and let the music envelope me. But as I was doing so, my mind began to wander to what Retsu-san had just said.
What if I were in Kaguya-hime's situation? How would I feel? What would I do? I asked myself.
The piece I was performing was that of when Kaguya-hime realized that she was not of this world, that she was not meant to be with humans. And that was the reason why the moon was always calling out to her and why she always felt like she did not belong.
I do not belong?
Kind brown eyes that belonged to my dear brother flashed in my mind. . "Because, you are a princess from the moon" I remembered that he once told me that, years ago. "You are not from this world, my little sister, that is why you much more beautiful than anyone else" He had said as he kissed my forehead to stop my tears from when the boys had tried to drown me.
I could almost feel Onii-chan's touch and hear his voice gently coaxing me, calling out to me. And suddenly, I felt a surge of energy overcome me.
I have to go home! I cannot be here, I must go back! I thought as I danced. I reached out to the sky to take me back home, to take me away but I knew that I could not and my heart was overwhelmed with sadness. I could never go back. And I had thought that after all these years I had come to terms with me never going back to Fugai. But everything seemed to dawn upon me just now. And as I danced, as I let the music take over, I let sadness engulf me as well.
Even if I go back, there is no place for me to go back. Ojii-chan will not be there, Onii-chan will not be there, even Urahara-san won't be there. So where? Where was I to go?
Just then, the music came to a decline, signaling the end of my piece. Only then did I realize that tears had been rolling down my eyes. And it seemed I had been crying for quite a while now since they had gathered beneath my chin. Swiftly, I wiped them on the sleeve of my kimono, my cheeks burning up from embarrassment.
Unlike the other girls, there was no applause that awaited the end of my dance. Only an unnerving silence that permeated the entire hall. This mortified me even more. Oh no! I felt my stomach drop, fresh tears stinging my eyes.
To save myself from further humiliation, I gave them a quick bow and exited the stage as fast as I could.
I couldn't breathe and the tears had begun to blur my vision to the point where I couldn't even see anymore. I just rushed passed everyone but then a pair of soft hands took hold of my shoulders and forced me to turn around. "Orihime" I recognized my Onee-san's gentle voice.
Without thinking, I threw myself at her and cried to her like a child would to her mother. I sobbed into her kimono, clutching at it so hard. She began to caress my back to try to calm me down as she pulled me closer to her. "There, there, why are you crying?" she inquired quietly.
I could not answer because sobs continued to rock my body, making it very difficult for me to gather air into my lungs. Tentatively, her hands moved to my hair, softly smoothing out my hair.
"Orhime" she began, "that was the best performance I had ever seen from you yet"
~.~.~.~.~
That next morning, I did not rise as early as I used to. In fact, I did not come out of my room for the entire morning. Hanatarou-kun had even brought breakfast in for me but I did not have the appetite to eat. I just wanted the ground to suck me in and never show my face in public ever again. I felt like I had just thrown all of the hard work that Retsu-san and Aizen-san had put into me. I felt like I failed them.
I buried my face into my blanket when I felt wetness rolling down my cheeks yet again. Mou! I wanted pushed my head further into the covers, drowning my sobs.
"Orihime-san" I heard Hanatarou-kun's voice from behind the door. "I have your lunch" he said, sliding the door open. He gasped when he saw that I had not even touched my breakfast. "Oh Orihime-san" he sighed, "Please eat" he begged.
This time, I felt bad for Hanatarou-kun, so even though my whole body felt heavy, I heaved myself to sit up. "I'm sorry for worrying you, Hanatarou-kun" I offered him a weak smile.
Just like always, he grinned shyly at me and moved to hand me a bowl of miso soup. "I would just like for you to feel better, Orihime-san" he mumbled, his cheeks glowing a faint pink.
All of a sudden, footsteps reverberated around the house, along with harsh panting. Much to mine and Hanatarou-kun's surprise, it was Retsu-san who rushed in. She opened the door so forcefully that she almost ripped the door out. "Orihime!" she cried, in between gasps.
"Onee-san, is something wrong?" I hurriedly got up from my bed and rushed to her. "Are you alright? Did something happen to you?" I probed frantically, scanning her body for any signs of an injury. But then, she grabbed my hands and clasped them in between hers. "Onee-san?"
She looked me straight in the eye, her face slowly lifting into the biggest smile I had ever seen her make.
"You are Kaguya-hime"
Lots of love to:
kalmaegi, . , Hilia, Aquavit, WasurenagusaFlower, catgirl505, freecookies77, nervosa, Adalay05, Arasia, madteen66, Jaque Weasley, LiluFaery87, BabyCakes25, oceanblues496, hachimitsu10, No Real Image, Glasses-Hime, nicolepalmer, Summer RainingStars, beautymark25, Sele de la Luna, disneyglittersparks, lyerlaboys11, Ever Angel 27, Missy the Cat, AveAtaqueVale
Summer RainingStars - kaway kawaaaay! I really love reading your reviews. I love writing Aizen but I find him extremely difficult to write (doesn't mean I'll write less of him though hahaha) Thank you for reading Beyond the Willows and I'll do my best to update Motherhood as well.
No Real Image - Thank you so much for that beautiful review. Before I wrote this, I had doubts about writing in the 1st person perspective but I rarely enjoy stories that are written in the 1st person perspective as well. However, the story had to be told through Orihime and I wanted the readers to see the world through her eyes. I am so glad and relieved that you enjoy this story. I do hope that you remain patient with my slow updates. Thank you so much for reading Beyond the Willows.
Jaque Weasley - Your reviews always brighten my mood. I love how fast your reaction to Ichigo escalated!
WasurenagusaFlower - Thank you so much. I hoped I would be able to convey to readers the beauty of Kyoto and the strange and wonderful world of geisha and knowing that I am able to take my readers on trips with me bring me immense happiness. I wish the best for you and God bless! I hope you liked this chapter.
kalmaegi - I apologize if this fic messed with your emotions but I'll give you a heads up, shit's just about to start hahaha. Thank you for reviewing, I enjoy reading your reviews! (Oh and is you username a homage to the kalmaegi himself jeon jungkook or is this just my inner ARMY imagining things? HAHA)
Author's Notes:
Thank you so much for bearing with me these past 2 years (Oh my god that's such a long time!) Thank you to all who expressed their concern over what happened to our house. We live comfortably now just to let you know. And since you've all been a source of strength during the time when I was struggling. I'd like to give back and give support to those who are going through tough times. I believe in you and I know for sure that you will be able to overcome whatever it is that you are facing. I believe in you so please believe in yourself too. Hang in there! I want to give you all virtual hugs and send you my love.
Now, going back to the story, I do have the next chapter already drafted so please do look forward to another update soon. I do apologize for this hastily written chapter. I feel rusty after 2 years on not (really) writing.
Don't forget to leave a review!
Till next chapter!
~Ashe
