Authors Note: This is just a fill in the gap sort of story from the most recent Paige appearance on PLL. It takes place 3 ish years ago between Emily and Paige just to tell the story of what happened & how they got to this point in Season 7 Ep 8. Might include some flash backs to happier times or to after they actually break up or to how I think the season should end between them. Yes there will be sex so Mature rating and hotness.

Chapter Note: Hey this chapter starts after S7EP10, Fills in before & continues in between scenes from aS7EP11. This chapter like a few before it have all been from Paige's perspective as I truly cannot fathom what the HELL Emily is thinking. Dude just pick Paige because Alison is so clearly poison. Anyway at the end there is a coda to the chapter from Emily's perspective about the teacher's lounge fight, Paige's office kiss & the kiss Emily shared with Alison. It is my best attempt to figure out Emily's languid muddled erratic thinking when it comes to Alison and Paige.

Disclaimer: I do not own PLL or the Characters only the words I choose to write about them

Fill in the Gap: Paily's untold story

Part 6 –Falling Apart

"Impossible!" Paige breathed out.

She knew her situation was totally completely impossible. To think that just yesterday Emily was in her arms and she thought they had made a new start.

But then today happened, a day where Paige could see clearly that Alison had dug her claws back into Emily and that perhaps they really were done. She had said it, finally threw the gauntlet down and said it.

Emily needed to wake up and see who really loved her & she needed to see Alison's manipulation of her emotions. It was the same now as it was in high school & Paige was feeling done with the back & forth. "Why doesn't Emily see it, it's so obvious!" Paige said aloud to no one in particular on her way back from confronting Emily.

Alison was a taker, she took Emily's love, took her attention & even took Emily's youth from her. Paige the adult, Paige not in high school anymore who was really ready for a family, a home and a wife could see that now. It was Alison that provoked the 1st "A" Mona into torturing not just Alison herself but all four of the girl. Mona put them through hell and Emily wasn't able to fully deal with heartbreak, or new love or even the tragic death of Maya because of Mona's constant control over their lives. Even Maya's death might have been avoided or at least Emily would have known who Lyndon James was if Mona would have just come out with the information instead of playing games. Lyndon only got to Paige that night because Mona & or the new "A" that was Charlotte forced her into a meeting that she got snatched from. Shit even what happened to Charlotte was all because of Alison's family & basically in Paige's mind that made Alison guilty of that too.

As Paige thought of all the dizzying ways in which Alison had a hold on Emily she truly realized Emily didn't get to be a teen. And by extension neither did Paige. She & Emily had stolen moments where they could dance a song or two at a dance, moments where they could swim or go to a movie but more often than not Emily was off trying to track down a killer or a body thief or a stalker. They only had moments to be young & in love before the reality of constant violence and abuse from this world Alison had created for her four friend and also for Paige because of her love for Emily came crashing down around them. Ezra, Toby & Caleb knew too about the danger and damage this was doing and had done to the girls. Toby went out to become a cop for god sake in order to try to protect Spencer! And yes once Paige herself opted to leave town rather than deal with the horrors of life in Rosewood with Alison DiLaurentis calling the shots again.

To some extent before it all went to hell when Emily's dad died & the Olympic trials, started College had been heaven for them. They lived in a state of bliss far away from Rosewood, Ali and the other girls, whom she knew Emily kept in contact with but not the same as everyday Scooby Doo-ing it all over town, looking down dark alleyways for the big bad wolf making their collective lives suck. No she and Emily were this great couple planning their lives together, it was all 80's rom com without the 90's tortured subplot to pull them down. Paige just had hoped that what they had was bigger than Alison's manipulation, but then again Paige always believed in them perhaps a little bit more than Emily or maybe Emily couldn't hope because she'd had it scared out of her by psychopaths.

Paige didn't know what else to do. She said "Nothing had changed," and it seemed as if it was true. Even if in her heart she was already wavering hoping beyond hope it wasn't that Emily would show up for her like she'd done. "Ahhhh!" she screamed just 1 night with Emily and she was back in love with her just as foolish as she'd been when they were teens and she stole a kiss from a crying and confused Emily on a street corner. She couldn't help herself then, couldn't resist wanting Emily to see her as the better choice as the one who would make her happy. Alison could only take from Emily, Paige could see that clear as day but she knew Emily might never be able to see it until it is too late.

But for right now Paige was here in Rosewood and she needed to see this job thing through as her options were limited at the moment there & maybe if she just stayed steadfast like always Emily would finally see her.

*****Between S7EP10 & S7EP11*****

Waiting for Paige when she got back to the B&B there are two pieces of mail and a message to call Principal Hackett waiting for her. The 1st piece of mail is the paperwork for an apartment she might rent if she gets the job at Rosewood & the other is from University of Iowa, which she tore into immediately. She rather knew it wasn't good news when she felt the thickness of the envelope. Usually good news come in thick manila envelopes stuffed with details and paperwork. This was just a security-sized envelope with one page of typed correspondence. A rejection letter, a nice concise rejection letter. It was the last thing she needed, but it was like the decision of staying seemed more definite for her. She tossed it on the pile of her other mail that was accumulating and grabber her phone from her bag to call Hackett, she needed to know who won and if she was staying or if she needed to continue to look for jobs away from Rosewood and Emily. Hackett picked up on the 2nd ring, "Hello," he said "Hello Principal Hackett it's Paige McCullers just returning your call from earlier today." Paige said hoping she sounded cheerful and upbeat instead of downtrodden. "Oh hello Paige, glad you called, look I spoke to the Superintendent of Schools and the Board and we have some great news for you & hopefully Emily too." He sounded so enthusiastic and Paige was confused a bit but curious, "Oh really what, uh what do you mean?" "Well, we pushed some paperwork through and have decided to restructure our athletics program a bit. See with you and Emily both vying for the position of swim couch we realized we had 2 great athletes and graduates at that on our hands and the best thing to do would be to try to hire you both and while we don't need two swim couches we do need an Athletic Supervisor. So because of your more stellar academic record and your previous Olympic ambitions we think you'd be the perfect fit for that job. And if you say yes you'd then have a say in whom becomes our new swim couch, which I'm assuming given your friendship with Emily Fields, that you'd be fine with us hiring her for that position?" He finished questioningly.

It was a lot to take in, so she got the job, but not the job she thought and she was in place to help sign off on hiring Emily for the job they both wanted? It all seemed a bit funny so she laughed a bit and said, "Yes, Yes of course that all sounds amazing Principal Hackett and yes I would LOVE to sign off on Emily becoming the Swim couch she will be awesome at it and I look forward to being an Athletics Supervisor too! Wow this is great. Thank you so much," she again laughed a bit and was still in a bit of shock that this all worked out alright for her and Emily too. "Ok then," Hackett said, "I will call Emily and let her know all the good news, you both will need to come in tomorrow for paperwork and we can discuss final salary stuff then, don't worry it is very competitive and you'll be happy I promise! Ok see you bright and early tomorrow, thanks Paige welcome back to Rosewood!" Paige said her goodbyes and they hung up. "Welp" Paige thought, "guess this makes some things clearer." She decided to stay, take the job and see if her and Emily could really work out even with Alison around. She felt it was a long shot but if it didn't work out she could always leave go back to private couching or apply for a job elsewhere workwise, but for now she was set and set her mind on the job and Emily. She did also realized going back to Rosewood meant seeing Alison in the teacher's lounge, at meetings and in the halls. She also knew she would have to be strong and not rise to whatever bait Alison could lob towards her. She paused for just a moment then she picked up the stack of papers for the apartment rental, signed them putting them in the return envelope, and placed a stamp on it for the mail tomorrow.

*****After S7EP11 MID episode BEFORE the confrontation between Paige, Emily & Alison in the Teacher's lounge during the committee meeting, but after Emily talks to Mrs. Horawtiz*****

"Paige, Paige wait up!" Emily shouted down the hallway as she jogged to catch up with Paige who was determinately headed towards her office near the gyms. Paige slowed down but kept walking as Emily started talking then she grabbed Paige's hand forcing her to stop. Her hand lingered in Paige's before she took it away and then spoke, "Paige look I'm sorry I know you don't wanna start anything or get back at Ali. I know you are better than that, I just thought how can I help and it seemed like you two on a board together right now would be awkward. I mean it's already pretty damn awkward and it's only our 1st day."

They had both started walking again slowly together and soon reached Paige's office door, where she unlocked it looked around at her new office, which was newly painted so it still gave off fumes a bit when the door opened. "It's ok Em, come in let's talk a bit I know you meant well, you always do," as she said this Emily had moved past her and Paige closed the door after her. The room wasn't large and none of the furniture was in the right place so it was a tight squeeze next to the closed the door to get by to the other side of the room where they could sit down on the chairs over there. Emily was right by Paige as she turned back from closing the door that they bumped into each other. "Oh sorry, I ah I," Emily started as she looked directly into Paige's eyes and then fell into her kissing her deep and deliberately. Paige responded in kind, kissing her with no doubt of what was behind those kisses, passion, power and love.

They broke a part sort-of breathless and started laughing with Emily's arms still around Paige's shoulders who said, "Um we can't be alone in an office 2 seconds and you are already throwing yourself at me." They both laughed again and Emily moved her arms slowly off Paige's shoulders and walked to one of the chairs. Paige smiling shook her head slightly and sat down next to Emily taking her hand. "Emily I uh", but just then there was a knock at the door. Paige stood up dropped Emily's hand as Principal Hackett opened the door and stepped in, "Oh sorry didn't know you were with someone," and then spotting Emily he said, "oh well hello Emily! I was just going to find you after speaking to Paige. Well two birds one stone huh, ok so I just wanted to know how you ladies are settling in? Is everything ok Mrs. Horowitz said she introduced you both this morning and all your paperwork is being processed right now?" Paige spoke up, "Oh we are doing fine, settling in just fine, in fact Emily and I signed up for a committee and were just discussing what new ideas to bring to the meeting today."

Paige was being her upbeat "can do" version of herself she reserved for jobs and interviews. "Oh that's great, that great, well ok don't hesitate to come find me if you need anything! Glad to have you both aboard!" and with that he left closing the door gently behind him. Paige turned back to Emily who she could tell had her armor back up and she knew Em was no longer ready for a true heart to heart. So she said, "Well should we talk about committee stuff seeing as I just lied to Hackett about it?" Emily shook her head yes and Paige looked around for some paper to start taking notes, but something had shifted. They broke through a little bit to each other. It was enough to let Paige know she wasn't alone in this sea of emotions they had for each other.

*****S7EP11 Mid Ep after blow up between Paige, Emily & Alison in the teacher's lounge, Also while this is happening Emily is talking with Alison back at Ali's house and they discuss the kiss*****

"Dammit, Jesus fucking dammit" Paige thought as she drove back to the new apartment she'd rented not far from downtown or the school. She had let Alison get to her, let her dominate the conversation and let her goad her into a mini confrontation. Paige knew she would try it was ready for her to start some shit, had been determined to not let it phase her but then she played the game. She suspected it was because of Emily that Alison did what she did, pushing Paige to see if Emily would defend her or shy away like she did when they were younger, Emily wanting to impress Alison had fallen in line back then and did whatever Alison wanted. However, Emily was tougher than that now, she had shut Alison down with two words. It was pretty awesome actually to watch, but Paige had promised Emily & Mrs. Horowitz that she could handle navigating the waters around Alison & at her 1st attempt she failed.

She knew she'd have to push herself harder to cope better with this because she knew Alison would just keep pushing. It just sucked being in this no mans land with Emily, not knowing where they stood & worse of all where Emily & Alison stood. Emily had spent the night with her, Paige knew that but did that mean they'd slept together too? Would Emily do that? Hop from Paige's bed to Alison's? She didn't think so but with Alison's master's level work in manipulation she didn't know if Emily could resist her fully. Also the kiss Emily and Paige had shared in her office had rung her bell and left her feeling hazy. So processing all of this seemed a bit much right now. She walked into the apartment and then realized she left the paperwork she was supposed to finish in the teachers' lounge, so she just turned around and went back to her car deciding to just stay there and finish her work.

She had to smile thinking about Emily calling out Alison on her bullshit but she admitted it was just a peacekeeping mission, one that she'd been on before because of Alison. Shutting her down in front of Mrs. Horowitz was one thing but would she ever just tell her no completely & cut her off? Paige walked into the lounge and spotted her paperwork. She plopped down on the chair facing the door and started going over her work. Sitting there though brought echos of that fight back to her and she again started to focus on why Emily dealt with Alison at all.

Paige then admitted even if just to herself that Emily & the rest of the girls were better off when Alison was supposed to be dead. She thought that if this twisted nightmare they were all in was gonna end it probably should end with Alison's death. Actually that it probably would end that way. Paige felt bad thinking it because as much as she disliked Alison & as much as she wanted to just move on it wasn't a nice thought she knew that. Her hatred for Alison didn't mean she wanted her dead, but she thought she knew all along that is probably what "A" who was Mona wanted, "A" who was Alison's own sister wanted & this new "AD" wanted, Alison DiLaurentis dead.

She knew it wouldn't be easy for Emily, Spencer, Aria or Hannah but it just might be the ultimate closure they all need. Then again, Paige thought; "If that's how this all ends if Alison dies at the hands of the new tormentor 'AD' it might mean that Emily would never be free of her. And WE might never be free of her". Paige envisioned a life with her and Emily together not constantly saving each other or running scared from their past or some arch enemy aimed at them because of Alison, but rather one where there was give & take, a house, kids, adventure not danger. Just the chance at building a real life, together. Paige decided if she got the chance to apologize for rising to Alison's intimidations, she would but she'd also tell her there is a better way forward, one where Emily didn't have to be the savior or the victim. And while she was in this deep dark broody mood thinking about all of this in walked Emily beautiful if not troubled and Paige knew where she'd been.

*****Emily's part S7EP11 End of Ep after she leaves Alison's house headed back to school to find Paige*****

"AHHH" Emily said as she got into her car to drive back to Rosewood High, "why does she make everything more complicated? Why won't she let me help her, why does she do this?" Emily was tired of it, she was sick of being a yo-yo Alison pulled when she needed her, but at the same time she couldn't tear herself away from her. She could see how Ali was hurting, how what Elliot did to her weighed on her more, so than the other girls she could see it. But why did she have to be so, cruel not just to Paige, but towards Emily herself & why couldn't Emily just go. Why on EARTH did MR. Hackett think it was a good idea to put both Paige and Alison on staff in a freaking high school and now Emily was stuck playing referee at work and in her private life too, which was already spilling over into work life. She needed to talk to Paige get her to back down a bit, hopefully Ali will calm down soon. "Ali, dammit why did you kiss me?" this question had been rattling in her mind since it happened. Because it put her in a tailspin, she had just spent the night with Paige and felt like maybe perhaps they could make a start a real one again, but that kiss blew things up for her. She hated feeling this way, hated the power that Ali had, but also felt these feelings deep nearly primal feeling to protect Alison and it was mixed up with the love she had always harbored for Ali.

It was instinct to rush to Ali, instinct to stick up for her and instinct to love her and hope for some sort of sign of Ali's love back to her. Was the kiss a sign, or was she like she's done time and time again playing her for attention. Ali said she herself didn't know…so it left Emily with a pit in her stomach, especially when she started to think of Paige. Emily knew she could have an amazing life with Paige it was written all over her face, it was in every interaction they had ever since that day when they went to raise money for the swim team, when Paige told her she finally came out to her parents. And that night when she was so freaked out about Maya and Paige told her then she deserved more Emily knew it was Paige, she knew Paige was the more Emily could deserve. Paige said it herself "I be there for you, for whatever you need." At the time, Emily couldn't deal because of Maya, "A" and only being a teenager. Then in college Paige was it she was there for her trying to help her though all the pain of her father's death, saying again "I am here for you, for whatever you need", and Emily had fallen apart. Now it seemed as if Paige once more was saying, "I'm here for you," but this time the need was being spelled out, the need was being offered; a life a real life. One with kids and family and a way out of all of the drama that follows her and her four friends.

If she chooses Paige it would mean losing Alison, in a metaphorical way and most likely in a real and practically way. But essentially what Paige offered was the same as she offered all those years ago at a dance in the 1st of many Paige suits to come. Paige was offering Emily real love without the complications of betrayal, manipulation or deceit. And truth be told it scared her. She realized this fully as she opened the front doors of her old high school and walked it's halls to find Paige who was sitting in the Teacher's lounge working and she knew waiting for some kinds of answer from her. But Emily didn't know what to say so she defaulted to her instinct of defending Alison from all attacks. But she knew the time was coming to make a choice and it terrified her more than "AD's" games.