Holding Pt 7
Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Disney owns it all.
I peered in the cafeteria and walking inside. My fury had slowly dissipated over the first four classes, but if I had nowhere to sit at lunch, it would have come right back. Instead, I saw an almost empty table with a blonde standing by it. The moment he saw me, Austin started towards me. I met him halfway, trying to wipe the glare off my face. I wasn't mad at him, but somebody should have told him that.
"Ally, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have snapped at Trish. It was rude and I should have just took it," Austin said in a sudden rush. My shoulders sagged and my heart felt some sort of amusement.
I reached out and put a hand on his tall shoulder. "Austin, I'm not mad at you," I whispered. Austin seemed surprised. "I just – I didn't want to tell her. That's all."
"I'm sorry I-,"
"You didn't do anything," I insisted, moving towards the table. My bag dropped out of my hands onto the floor with a loud thud. Some people turned to look at me, but I no longer cared anymore. I hopped up on the table and motioned for Austin to sit. He sat, but on the chair, and scooted in front of me. He looked at me while I studied him, glad to have something to do that could really take my mind off Trish. School was just not challenging enough. Trying to memorize every one of Austin's features seemed impossible, so I took up the challenge.
"You okay?" he breathed. I nodded, taking a deep breath. It was out of my system. Trish knew and how she handled that was her doing, not mine. But I knew if she started freaking out about it, there was no way I'd be fine. At this point, I truly wanted and needed to put it in the back of my mind. I've learned from it, and now it's time to do the best I can to forget it. "Good because I was hoping you could…go out to dinner with my parents and I Friday night?"
My mouth dropped open. I sputtered a surprised, "What?" Austin smiled gently, moving to the side so his hand wrapped around my waist, pulling me into him despite our height difference at the moment.
"My parents want to have a dinner with me. I'm not going through that alone." Austin stated, looking up at me expectantly. I hesitated for only a second.
"I'll go," I shrugged. I mean, I'd be missing out on some classic study time, but I could manage. "You go out to dinner formally?" I never went formally with my dad alone because it was a waste of money to him and 'we are the simpler human beings that only need cereal and the occasional drive through.'
"Only before they leave for business trips. For mattress salespeople, they leave a lot," Austin shrugged. I bit my lip, holding back the smirk. If they were leaving, he'd have the house alone. Now I wasn't looking to hook up with him, but a step in that direction wouldn't hurt anyone. "What?"
"Oh nothing," I brushed it off. He grinned as well, poking a finger into my side. I shook my head, refusing to tell. He poked me again and then started tickling me. I smacked his hand away and leaned down, whispering in his ear. "You'll have the house to yourself for a bit."
Austin's face went slack. I thought he was mad for a second, but then the classic rock star smirk appeared. His hand discreetly moved lower on my back, just enough for a few fingers to graze my butt. "You-,"
"What am I looking at?" Trish yelled from behind us. I spun around, surprised. She had her arms crossed with Dez on her side, trying to mimic that stance. She looked disgusted and angry all in one. My mouth popped open and looked from Austin to Trish, truthfully not knowing what to say. "Well?"
"Well what?" Austin asked innocently. He seriously didn't get what she meant. I almost snorted.
"Why is your arm around Ally's back?" Trish walked forward, taking his arm and flinging it.
"Ohh," Austin said. I watched him smile slightly. What was he going to say? Were we dating? Were we friends with benefits? What was it? He shrugged. "I don't want Ally to fall."
Oh, that hurt.
"My ass, try again," Trish cocked a hip out, and Dez did the same, frowning at us like we were children. I interjected before she could yell at him again.
"Trish-,"
"Uh-uh, I want this from Austin."
We both looked at Austin. She took a step closer so I nudged the annoyed boy. He sighed deeply and gestured to me. "Well I was flirting, but now that it's out in the open, the effect is diminished, thank you, Trish," Austin grumbled, pouting. I almost choked at his words. He was flirting, which implied he somewhat liked me. I already knew that, though, didn't I? I shouldn't have been so shocked, but it was the football star we were talking about.
Her face was priceless. It went from pissed, to slightly embarrassed. She moved closer and, as if she forgot something, took a step back, anger replacing her features again. "Hold the fuck up," Trish hissed. Her eyes locked on Austin's like they were about to pounce on prey. He looked a little jostled. "So you are going after Ally after she was almost raped?"
Austin, baffled, frowned. "I'm not 'going after Ally.' I'm not a dick, Trish." He said. I opened my mouth to speak, growing irritated. I hated when people spoke about me like I wasn't there. "And that has very little to do with this."
"Hello? I'm right here," I snapped, glaring at Trish and Austin. Trish's eyes turned from anger to slight pity. I knew what she thought. She thought he was trying to seduce me. I balled my fists. "He's not trying to seduce me, either Trish."
"Yeah?" Trish snorted. "Have you talked to any of the girls he's been with, Ally?" I frowned and shook my head. "They all started out with innocent flirting, then innocent kissing, and then innocent fucking. You know when the innocent break up occurred? Three weeks after they had sex. So, no, he may not seem like it, but he's the master of seduction."
Austin moved to his feet, towering above Trish. I followed, standing between the two just so I could look at both. Austin seemed angry with her for bringing that up. She seemed a little smug. And I felt lost. Every inch of me was saying to believe Trish because she was my best friend, but at the same time I was reminded of who was the one pushing me to have a one night stand, something that could have truly finished breaking me.
"They are nothing like Ally," Austin hissed. My heart jumped, but I needed to think with my mind. If I only listened to my body, I would have already had sex with Austin.
"Just stop!" I shouted. This drew more attention than I wanted and I was close to losing my voice, but it was the only time I had Trish's and Austin's full attention. I turned to her. "Trish, I'm not some broken toy. I can handle my emotions and feelings just like before so stop treating me like I don't know better. And Austin…" I didn't know what to say to him, but I knew I couldn't do this. Whatever we had, it was tedious at best. I didn't fully believe Trish, but he never denied what she said. Even if I was different from them, I didn't want to risk losing the one person who helped me through everything that seemed impossible. I sighed in defeat. "We can't have something between us."
Austin clenched his jaw. He saw this coming. I noticed he took a step forward, balling his hands. "We can't or we won't?"
"I…" I couldn't finish my sentence. Instead, I glanced at Trish and Dez. Dez was biting his fingernails in anticipation. Trish was studying me like she always did. There was a moment where doubt crossed her features, but it was gone quickly. I looked back at Austin, at his big brown eyes that slowly filled with pain. He looked defeated, but not angry, like he knew this was coming all along and he couldn't even be mad with it because it was me. "I have to go."
. . .
I had called Austin three times. It was a full two days after the fight and he still was avoiding me. Trish and Dez, who seemed to stand closer to each other the more and more I'm around them, always talked in hushed whispers at lunch. They didn't mean to exclude me, but they also didn't want to hurt my feelings by talking about Austin or how to get back at Elliot. They had good intentions, but I really didn't need to be alone right now.
That evening, Trish came over to apologize. She really surprised me, too, because I was only in a big t-shirt. To say the least, hugging it out was awkward. Anyhow, she said she never meant to belittle me, only that she was trying to look out for me. I told her all I needed was for her to listen to me, not guess my feelings. And yet, there she was, guessing. I couldn't blame her. It was the Trish thing to do; jump to action in revenge I meant.
Lunch was a bust. Every time I saw Austin, he avoided my gaze. When I'd go up to speak to him, he'd answer short and briskly. I didn't even see him at lunch anymore; he was nowhere in the cafeteria.
"What are you all doing tonight?" I asked. They didn't hear me. "Trish? Dez?" Their heads jerked towards me, and I suddenly realized how close they were. Their knees were touching, turned towards each other. And their whole bodies were leaning near the other. It was abnormal.
"Oh, uh, you know, working," Trish laughed quickly: too quickly.
"How is Frank doing these days?" I asked.
Her face went blank as she stared at me, flustered. "Uh…who?"
I should have stopped being surprised at this, but I was. How could one forget her boss's name? "Pirate Frank?"
"Oh! Yeah, he's still a loon," Trish laughed nervously. Something was up with her. She always forgot details when she lied. And she was lying.
"Dez, what are you doing?" I asked, hoping for some form of communication. Or plans. I'd love to have plans again. With human people.
He stiffened, sitting up straighter and stiller. "Seeing the new alien movie."
"Don't you like zalien movies, though?" I frowned, very much suspicious. He was stiff like a board and his eyes never moved from above my head. He was weird, but not this weird.
"That's what I didn't say…" Dez said, trailing off with intentional suspicion. No, that wasn't weird for him, oddly. I looked between the two of them. "Well, I have to go to science."
"We have ten minutes," I said, but he was already gone. I looked back at Trish, but she was packing up her things. "Where are you going? Don't say class because I've tried to get you to come early with me hundreds of times before!"
She snorted, seemingly relaxing a bit now that Dez was gone. "Are you kidding? No, my mom is picking me up because 'I'm sick.'" She finished, zipping up her backpack. Her face fell when she noticed I was now alone at the table. "Oh, Ally – I'm sorry, I forgot Austin wouldn't-,"
"It's fine." I sighed, running a hand through my hair. It really wasn't. My friends went from ignoring me to ditching me. However, in my heart, my main concern was that Austin wasn't speaking to me – the main reason I told him to stop his pursuit for me. It hurt to realize he was just like every other guy. If they weren't going to get anything, it wasn't worth their time. I sighed, pulling out my earphones. I needed to think positively.
It was time for some dancing music. Of course, I couldn't dance, but I loved to anyways. After suffering through the rest of school, I went home, greeting my dad, who came home yesterday. He smiled cheerily. "How was school, Ally-cat?" He asked like always. Mom used to ask, but then she moved away. He made it his new job to ask and if he couldn't, he'd text me.
"It was great, Dad," I said, feeling horrible for being so brisk. But he knew I was in a mood. I was like this yesterday when Trish dropped me off at home. I snapped at her and my dad stood there, watching with an open mouth.
"Cheer up, Sweetie – I've got a new idea for the store," he grinned like that ought to make my day. I smiled briskly and shouldered my backpack, practically running to my room.
"Awesome," I said, trying for more spirit. He believes me, like his words actually made me happier. Oh, I wished they would. "We can talk about it at dinner."
"Oh, actually, honey-,"
But my door was already shut. I debated heading out to listen, but there was no force that could move me any closer to that door. Instead, I hooked my phone up to my speakers and turned on my favorite playlist. I called it my striptease playlist, mainly because dancing to the songs made me feel like I was a stripper.
Dad never came into my room. He never came upstairs in general. If he needed me, Dad texted me. Texting was his new fad. He was obsessed because 'boring parents can't text, Ally.'
So I was more than comfortable to pull off my shirt, tossing it to the floor. My skirt came off next. I whipped it around and around to the beat. Dancing, despite my clumsiness, always made me feel better. About myself, about life, about everything. The music was upbeat, the dancing complimented me, and the whole idea was fun.
Yes, this is what high school kids do! Weird, sad, and slightly pathetic? Yeah. They just haven't found the blissful place called a 'club.' I still remember the first time he brought me to one – my secret life came to the public!
I jumped to the beat, swinging my hair in a circle. It was older, rock music. I found it was the best to dance to if a person had no real moves. I jumped up on my footstool, singing along to the lyrics, which were basically being screamed. Still, this was the music that got me to move, that moved me out of my depressed state.
The music was so loud I didn't hear two knocks on my door. And I didn't hear the two or four after that.
Cut my life into pieces
This is my last resort
Suffocation
No breathing
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm, bleeding
This is my last resort
I jumped off the counter, falling on the ground to my knees, pretending to play my air guitar and screaming the lyrics. My eyes were shut and I imagined thousands on me, but this time I wasn't afraid; I was exhilarated. Everyone loved me, so I kept playing, kept dancing. Guys were hollering and catcalling, and I loved it.
But then somebody harmonized to the next lines…with me.
Losing my sight
Losing my mind
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine
My head snapped up, eyes opening wide. Above me, leaning on the door frame, was Austin Moon. A huge smirk plastered on his face, his eyes roamed up and down my body, watching me, waiting. I sat back on my knees, staring at him. After days of isolation, did he finally feel the need to reconcile?
My hand found my phone and shut off the music. "Aw, don't stop on my account, Ally. I enjoyed seeing you let go," Austin snorted. I sighed deeply, glaring at him. He knew I knew he was here for more than to hang out. His eyes, which were full of mirth one second, drained of all emotion – all hopeful emotion.
"What are you doing here?" I climbed to my feet, only then realizing I was practically naked. His eyes groped my ass as I suddenly turned around. His presence brought on a whole new wave of exhaustion. My body deflated, focusing all energy on the part that missed him and the part that was angry with him ignoring me.
"I-,"
"No," I said the moment he spoke. I just needed to hear his voice again, hear the smug ring to it. "You don't get to do this, Austin. I've been needing you the past couple of days and you left me out to dry all because I hurt your little ego. I still need you, which only pisses me off more. But you are the one I chose. You said I could talk to you. You said you'd be here for me. But you haven't been."
"Al-,"
"And don't turn this on me." I growled, poking his chest with my finger like Trish did before. Austin studied me as I spoke with that same smug, laughing look. "You have thousands of girls throw themselves at your hot little body and you are hurt because of me? Ridiculous…"
"You done yet?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. I opened my mouth to interrupt again, but his words made me realize how I just threw a one-sided argument. Bashfully, I nodded, glaring into his brown eyes that were full of mirth currently. "Good because your dad sent me up here to tell you that he and you are having dinner with a potential new performer at sonic boom. Guess who that is?"
I looked him up and down and just now noticed he was dressed nicer than usual. He had on black slightly tight pants and a red shirt on, with matching accessories here and there that sent off a modern rocker look, which was probably the most popular look for music performers these days. It was clear. He was the new performer. I growled, clenching my fists.
I had been pushing this idea for a year and Dad decided to start it now? He couldn't have done it a week earlier? "Where are we going?"
Austin smirked, glad that I seemed to have lost my anger. "It's a surprise for you. Dress fancy, though. You know what, I'll help pick it out."
"What? No, Austin-,"
"Well if we can't have something between us, then you should have no problem with this," Austin spoke, giving me no choice as he walked to my closet. He rummaged through my dresses, occasionally glancing back at me to see how I'd look. It got rather uncomfortable, me standing in my undergarments only. Finally, he grabbed two and thrust them into my arms. "Try these on."
"Turn around," I said, just because I didn't want to follow his commands so directly with no hesitation. He raised his eyebrows, a smile playing on those devilish lips.
"You don't want me to watch you get dressed?" Austin asked, a tinge of scolding in his voice. I straightened and didn't answer. Instead, I looked at his eyes directly, never breaking my gaze as I slipped into the first dress. It was flowing and short, cinching in at my waist with the rest of the black fabric. His eyes broke away to look me up and down, grinning. "Almost childish." I frowned, looking into the mirror behind me. I could easily see how this simple design wasn't intricate enough to seem mature. Austin noticed my expression because he finally dropped his jerk-aura. "I just mean this place is too fancy for that."
"Really?" I asked, turning around again. I took in his outfit, growing suspicious. He was only in jeans. It couldn't be fancier than this day dress.
"Here," he said, handing me the second dress. I recognized this dress. It was one I wore to prom last year. I rolled my eyes and stepped into this one, turning around and pulling my hair to the side. Austin's hands grazed over my skin, creating a line of fire from where he touched. My body shivered continually until the zipper was done, but his hands didn't stop.
They rested on my arms, holding me in place before us in the mirror. He forced me to look at myself, studying every feature. "I remember prom," he whispered into my ear. I wondered if he could hear my heart beat like a jackhammer or if he could see the hair on the back of my neck stand. "I wanted to steal you away from your date so bad, but you didn't know me. I wanted to stop you from dancing with Elliot, to stop his hands from touching you. And mostly, I wanted to make you smile for real, if just once that night. Because everyone needs a good prom."
My breath had stopped long ago in my throat as my mind registered the weight on my shoulder that was his head. His hands found their way down to mine, but his weren't the ones working on intertwining them together. My body sagged backwards, reaching out desperately for his. And when we connected, his skin scorched me, almost punishing me for wearing so little. And I felt scandalous for doing so, but I also didn't want to pull away. His hands wrapped around my waist from behind and I think I felt my panties grow wet.
"Austin," my voice cracked, earnest in drawing out his attention. But I already had it. His eyes opened, glowing above my shoulder. When brown met brown, he heard everything I had trouble saying, everything even I didn't know.
And in that moment, he made me realize where Trish had it all wrong yesterday. His lips ghosted along my neck and back down to my collarbone. There, he placed a feather-light, soulful kiss. His hands slid away, teasing and tantalizing, and his feet took one graceful step backwards. Our eyes connected once more. No part of my body was able to move after that, not even to follow him out.
I didn't need to, though. He already stole what was most valuable to me: my heart.
A/N: Wow, and I thought I was almost done. I am guessing there should be around 8 chapters total! Yay! Now on this ending…why must they always fight? Will they make up? What are you all expecting? Tell me tell me!
Somebody said they don't like Ally. Dude, I agree. Personally, if that were me, I doubt I'd be such a freaking cry baby, however, I wouldn't know for sure. I based Austin off an ex, and Elliot off another ex though he never did anything close to that. Then I thought well Ally's just gonna be bats hit crazy and undecided bout life. But I love Austin in this lol.
Can you all give me 9 reviews pretty please? NINE! It would mean the world to me. Not to play the pity card, but life likes to laugh at me at times, I'm convinced lately, so give me nine reviews to up my spirit please. You have no idea how hard it's been to be in the writing mood lately, so NINE!
