Note: I'm skipping to the teenage years here, sorry.All will be explained.Maybe. This is the crackiest chapter so far, I think.Also, I edited a little bit of ch.5 because there was a conflict of plot.
But I don't want to stop singing! Nyan Cat whined, his mohawk flopping over his face. He continued to glide around the heads of the bridge crew, blaring the Llama song.
"You promised you wouldn't play the songs when they got obnoxious," Kirk said, helping Spock restrain McCoy.
"That...music..." McCoy growled.
"Nyan Cat, you've already driven your father off the ship!" Kirk scolded, pointing to the viewscreen where Tac Nayn glided alongside the Enterprise.
(In the few weeks they'd been in the Delta Quadrant, it had become a running joke that Kirk and Tac Nayn were Nyan Cat's mother and father, respectively.)
Not my fault he doesn't like good music. Nyan Cat tossed his head defiantly.
"Well- Chekov, stop singing along!" Kirk glared at the ensign.
Chekov jumped, looking guilty. "Sorry, Keptin. I just like zhe llama song," he said sheepishly.
Chekov's my buddy, Nyan Cat said, patting Chekov on the head as he flew by. He likes my music.
"Well, no one else does!" McCoy yelled, trying to swat the rainbow-trailing teen cat out of the air.
"Bones, don't you dare hit my child!" Kirk yelled, tackling the doctor.
All-out chaos ensued as Kirk, Spock, and McCoy got into something resembling a fight, Nyan Cat and Chekov started singing the Llama Song at the top of their lungs, Tac Nayn appeared on the bridge and he, Sulu, and Scotty attempted to simultaneously stop Nyan Cat from singing and break up the fight between the three senior officers.
NO! I- DON'T- CARE! Nyan Cat shouted while Chekov cowered behind the Navigation console.
LALALALA, CAN'T HEEEAAAR YOOOUU!
YOU WILL BE RESPECTFUL OR YOU WILL GET OFF THIS SHIP! Tac Nayn shouted.
FINE! Nyan Cat disappeared.
"What happened? Where is he?" Kirk asked, clutching a bruised fist.
He is probably alongside the ship, Tac Nayn said tiredly. He will come back.
Q winked in.
"Not right now, Q," Kirk said.
"Oh, I beg to differ," Q said. "He needs someone he can talk to. I'm not a parent, and he's always liked me. I'll go bring him back." Q winked out.
Let's hope he can bring Nyan Cat back, Tac Nayn said. Oh, Kirk?
"Yes?"
At this stage he should be kept away from tribbles, I think.
"...Why?"
I have heard stories of tribbles reacting to my kind's teenage hormones and vice versa. I would rather not have them proved true.
"Scotty," Kirk said.
"Aye, Captain?"
"...Hide your pet tribble."
Nyan Cat was sulking in Engineering. He hated the ship right now. He hated the galaxy.
I want to live in the Q continuum, he thought.
"Now why would you want to do that?"
Nuncle Q!
Nyan Cat turned around to see his favorite uncle.
"I heard your... incident on the bridge," Q said, smiling. "I must say, you really know how to yell!"
Sorry, Nuncle, Nyan cat said.
"Oh, don't worry about it," Q grinned. "But I thought you might need some cheering up." He pulled a furball out of nothingness.
Is that...?
"Don't feed it after midnight!" Q chirped, tossing the cooing tribble to Nyan Cat.
Thanks, Nuncle. Nyan Cat brought the tribble up to his face and brushed his cheek against it.
Q smiled and winked out.
"Engineerin' to Bridge." Scotty's voice, in a whisper, broke in on the Bridge.
"Go ahead," Kirk said anxiously.
"I think we've found Nyan Cat, Captain. He's in Engineerin'."
"...I'll be right down."
"Nyan Cat!" Kirk said loudly and (he hoped) happily.
Nyan Cat yelped, coughed, and produced a shower of fur- brownish fur that couldn't have possibly come from him.
"Oh- uh- sorry." Kirk toned down his enthusiasm a little. Tac Nayn appeared then, frowning slightly.
Uh... Mom? Dad? Nyan Cat said worriedly.
"What? What happened?" Kirk asked with a sense of dread.
...I think I just swallowed a tribble.
Nyan Cat looked between Kirk and Tac Nayn, unsure.
"You swallowed-" Kirk was incredulous.
How? Tac Nayn asked in sheer disbelief.
Well, I- I was holding it up to my face, and then you startled me and... it just happened!
"What effects could the tribble have on him?" Kirk asked Tac Nayn quietly.
...I have no idea.
Suddenly Nyan Cat shivered, and another Nyan Cat popped into existence on either side of him.
He looked at each new Nyan Cat.
Okay that was not me, he said.
The two clones, who were missing Nyan Cat's mohawk, started jumping around and trilling, like cat-shaped tribbles. Suddenly one of them simply divided into two new Nyan Cats.
"Oh no," Kirk said, backing away.
McCoy scanned them with a medical tricorder.
"Jim, their metabolism is very similar to a tribble's. We can't let them eat anything."
One of the Nyan Clones rushed through the door to Engineering.
"Stop that clone!" Kirk said, running after it.
"Where's it going, anyways?" McCoy asked as they followed the rainbow trail trhrough the corridors.
"Based on its route, a good assumption is the mess hall," Spock said.
"Crap."
When they reached the mess hall, the doors slid open to reveal at least fifty inquisitive Nyan Clones looking at them.
Kirk gulped and backed away. Tac Nayn growled. The Nyan Clones all hissed back, then stormed around the room, scattering the remains of their meals and disappearing to who-knows-where.
Who taught them to use the replicators? Tac Nayn snarled.
A mop of brown hair poked above an overturned table, followed by a scared face and a hesitantly raised hand.
"Damn it, Chekov!" Kirk shouted. "I know they're cute, but really?!"
Chekov shrugged. "It said it vas hungry," he said apologetically. "How vas I to know it vould breed like a tribble?"
McCoy facepalmed, while Spock looked ready to cry. Tac Nayn sighed.
"And this kid's supposed to be a genius," McCoy muttered.
"Where are they now?" Kirk asked.
Tac Nayn disappeared, then reappeared looking shaken.
They are circling the ship. And I believe they harbor an innate dislike for me.
Q winked in. "What's happened now?" he asked grumpily.
"Nyan Cat and a tribble have... for lack of a better term, mated," Spock said.
"What?!"
"Or something," Kirk amended.
"How?!"
If I knew, I'd fix it, Nyan Cat said glumly, appearing next to them.
Kirk sat in the command chair, watching the Nyan Clones multiply on the viewscreen. Every so often, one would simply divide in two.
A Nyan Clone invaded the Enterprise's personal space, its face looming large on the screen.
"WE ARE THE SPAWN OF THE INTERNET," it said. "WE THRIVE ON RANDOMNESS. WE PRODUCE RANDOMNESS. WE ARE SELF-SUFFICIENT."
Unlike the real Nyan Cat, whose pop-tart body only reached Kirk's waist, the new Nyan Cats ranged from PADD-size to almost as big as the Enterprise herself!
And they had their original song back...
"I... WILL... MURDER... EVERY LAST INSTANCE OF THAT SONG IN THE UNIVERSE IF I HAVE TO," McCoy said through clenched teeth, looking slightly psycho and very rage-filled.
"Calm down, Bones," Kirk said. "At least these Nyan Cats can travel through the galaxy much faster than us. We may be able to use them to get us home."
"And leave the Alpha Quadrant at their mercy, too? Oh no. We get rid of them HERE and NOW!"
"Bones, you're so heartless!"
Nyan Cat stopped the argument. I think we should figure out if they actually can help you get home before we decide what else to do, he said.
Kirk nodded in agreement. Tac Nayn looked out at the Nyan Clones thoughtfully.
How did you get here originally? He asked.
"Well, after we encountered the original Nyan Cat," Kirk began, wincing as he realised how awkward it would be to tell their Nyan Cat about this, "We, um... we shot it with a photon torpedo."
