This chapter was written for the lovely krazy-krazy-101. I loved writing this, so thanks for requesting it!


Drunkmitri

Genre: Humor / Friendship / Romance

Word Count: 1486


Rose H.

This was a moment that would forever go down in history. A moment that should be captured for future generations to watch, take part in, and learn from. A moment that broke all records and all rules of existence.

Because Dimitri Belikov was drunk.

No, not just drunk; he was absolutely shitfaced.

The New Years celebration had started off slow, but there had been some Russian vodka at the bar, and Dimitri had drunk a cup – or two or three. And, unfortunately, unlike most Russians, Dimitri could not hold his alcohol.

"Mizzezz Belikoooov!" Dimitri slurred, grinning as he threw an arm around me and tried to place a sloppy kiss on my lips, which I evaded. I was thankful we had at least managed to get him to put his clothes back on.

I laughed, "Don't you think we should be getting home?" I asked him gently, thinking back to how the night had escalated to this point.


"So you're sure that Rose is the one for you?" Christian asked, smirking.

Dimitri, still somewhat sober, began nodding vigorously.

"I know Roza is 'The One'. I just – I can't explain it. It's this sense of overwhelming… love. I mean, we've been together for almost two years, but-" He sighed and ran a hand through his hair, which had fallen loose. "I just love her so much. I want to be with her through everything, and to support her with anything she needs me for, and even those things she doesn't need me for. Roza... she's my life. I can't imagine life without her."

I smiled up at him and he gave me a chaste kiss. Lissa and Mia were Aww-ing, Eddie clapped him on the back, and Christian lifted his glass.

"Well, cheers to that." He said, clinking their glasses before they both downed the shot.


Most of the night went by in a similar fashion – Dimitri skulled a few drinks and rambled to the bartender about how much he missed his Mama.

He played beer pong with Christian, who had taken advantage of his rapidly deteriorating hand eye coordination to beat him for once, and started singing Hit Me Baby One More Time under his breath.

He went shot-for-shot with Mia, all while confessing his deep fear of Teletubbies to her and giggling.

Soon, he was trying to convince the DJ to put on Tchaikovsky so he could twirl around like a ballerina. His words, not mine.

When he tried to kiss a struggling Adrian, it took a redheaded guardian from a neighboring table, Christian and I to pull him off.

I decided to let him let loose a little, since he never had any fun while sober. Man, did I regret that decision.


"And she's so beautiful, with this gorgeous… long brown hair and the most stunning eyes. She's just…" Dimitri hiccupped and slurred before blinking rapidly and focusing back on the table of strangers. "…Roza. That sums her up. And I'm getting married to her. Well, someday. She still won't accept my proposals." He pouted.

Though we didn't know them, the table of guardians took it in stride, laughing at his rambling.

"I'm sure she'll accept one day, bud." The ginger-haired dhampir that had to pull him off Adrian said, clapping him on the back.

"Rooza!" He called dragging me from where I had been watching with Lissa, Christian, and Adrian. "Will you marry me?" He slurred out.

"Um, maybe we should talk about this when you're sober I said, patting his arm soothingly.

"See?" He whined turning toward his newfound friends again. "She never says yes." He sighed dramatically, and the table erupted into laughter once more. I pulled him back to our table before he did something he would regret even more in the morning.

"So, Dimitri, any hot ex-lovers Rose should know about?" Mia asked winking at me, and I almost groaned.

"You shouldn't take advantage of his inebriated state." I whispered in her ear.

"Hey, just making sure!" She defended. I was about to tell Dimitri he didn't have to answer her, but he was already explaining.

"No, no. I was a virgin before Rose." He said, with a sloppy shrug. "Waiting for the right girl, you know? And I'm soooo happy." Dimitri slurred with a lazy smile.

Before I knew it, Lissa and Mia were Aww-ing again.

"A drunk man's words are his thoughts." Mia said sagely.

"You're so lucky. Last time Christian was drunk he just kept going on about how hot Michelle Pfeiffer was." Lissa pouted.

"You know you're always the most beautiful woman in my eyes!" Christian declared hurriedly, taking her hand in his.

"Yeah, that's why you have so many True Blood posters." Adrian snorted.

"Hey! Those are private!"


Dimitri called out something in slurred Russian, and it took him a moment to remember that I didn't understand him.

"Roooza. Met your sexual Passover year!"

"What the hell?" Mia said.

"I think he's trying to say 'get your sexy ass over here'." I replied

"Well, he's failing horribly." Lissa commented from next to me and I sighed before getting off the barstool.

"I better get over there before he says something else embarrassing."

I made my way over to where he sat with the boys, but as I approached he yelled something in slurred Russian, and Adrian – who I had almost forgotten spoke Russian – burst out laughing. I turned to him with an eyebrow raised.

"He – He told you…oh God…to suck his – hahaha…oh my God…" He couldn't finish, but I understood what the next word was meant to be.

Eddie smacked Dimitri upside the head. "Hey! That's my sister you're talking about."

Dimitri whimpered and rubbed the spot tenderly. Maybe the alcohol had launched us into a parallel universe.

I tried not to look embarrassed and Christian rolled his eyes. "I've never met a Russian who couldn't hold his vodka."

Dimitri was giving me a dopey grin. "Ho titties vodkeeey?" (Quoted from another fanfic – can't remember what it's called, though!)

"Oh, poor Dimitri." I enlisted Adrian's help to drag him outside by the arm, but he resisted.

"Mama! You never let me do anything fuuuun!" He started to cry, looking at Adrian. I was impressed he managed to speak fluent English.

He looked at me with a childish pout on his lips. "Roooozaaaaahhh!" He then said something in Russian I couldn't comprehend.

"Rose isn't on your side, either." Adrian grumbled.

Dimitri stomped his foot and began to cry harder. But then, for some reason, a western-style song came on. Dumbass DJ. Dimitri's eyes lit up and he knocked me to the ground, riding me like a horse. Except it looked more like he was dry humping me, what with his hands on my shoulders and his thrust-like motions. "Wheeeee! I'm a cowboy! Giddyup, Roza!"

I tried pushing him off, but even drunk, he was strong. Or maybe stronger than usual; I didn't know how drunkenness worked with Russians. When I finally got him off, he started crying. Again.

"Rose, whatever you do, don't ever get him drunk again. Ever." Lissa said from beside me.

"Yeah, I kn-"

"EVER!"

I looked at her pleadingly. "Can you, um, do something about him?"

"No. Unfortunately, I can't change his BAC because there's nothing wrong with the blood. He'll have to stay the 6'7" cowboy ballerina until he passes out."

Dimitri had taken his shirt off, and was now working on his pants. "Roooza!" He called.

"I'm going to be traumatized for life for seeing that," Lissa managed to croak out, as she turned her head away.

Adrian joined us once again, coming up behind me with some fancy drink in hand.

"I bet you wish you had picked me now, Rose! I can actually handle my booze."


"The ball is about to drop!" The bartender kindly informed us, turning up the sound on the TV. Unfortunately Dimitri also heard.

"The ball is about to drop! The ball is about to drop! Vikka, we have to get ready for Ded Moroz!" He cried, his head turning frantically.

"Shh, Dimitri it's okay." I said soothingly, coaxing him back to where he had been leaning quietly against my shoulder.

10…9…8

He acquiesced as the countdown began, and I saw Lissa and Christian turn toward each other, much like Eddie and Mia already were. Adrian had found an attractive blonde girl he seemed to be charming very successfully.

7…6…5

I sighed, stroking Dimitri's hair lightly. I would rather he actually remember our first New Years together as a couple, but we were together and well, which was all I could ask for.

4…3…2

Suddenly Dimitri looked up and wrapped his arms around me, staring deep into my eyes as I got lost in his, and I knew there was no way I'd rather spend New Year's Eve. He leaned in and gave me a long, sweet kiss.

1…Happy New Year!


This would've worked so well as a New Year's one-shot, but alas, Frostbite will (hopefully) be in the making by then. What did you think about drunk Dimitri? Anyone want me to do a chapter of the next day?