N.B: A few of you lovely reviewers have asked for an epilogue, and although I was happy with where I'd originally ended the story, your suggestions planted something in my brain so... here it is. Hopefully you'll all like it. Thank you again for taking the time to read and review - it means more than I can say. Thanks for sticking with my little story, and for all your support. Enjoy!
Epilogue :
Kate makes her way out of the building, stepping down the stone steps and raising a gloved hand to shield her eyes, squinting in the bright, autumn sunlight as she scans the crowds of people bustling up and down the street in front of her. Her head flicks from side to side until she spots him on a bench a little way down the street; legs crossed at the ankles, two cups of coffee by his side and his nose buried deep in a book. She can just about make out the peculiar font on the book jacket: 'Sweetheart', by Chelsea Cain. But it looks suspiciously large, not at all like the copy they've both got on their respective bookshelves at home… 'Hmm...', she thinks. 'I smell a rat.' With another quick glance to either side of her, just to make sure her path is clear, she makes her way over to him.
"Hey there."
He looks up distractedly in the general direction of her voice, but when his eyes settle on her a grin spreads across his face, instantly bringing a sparkle to his eyes. "Hey yourself."
She settles herself beside him, taking the coffee he's proffering and ducking her head down to place a quick, light kiss on his cheek. "Whatcha reading?"
He flips the book closed, straightening the jacket. "Just an old favourite."
"How old?" She raises her eyebrows, an amused smile skittering on her lips.
His face crinkles; an attempt at a lie, even though the expression on her face shows she's got him down. Protesting is futile; he's busted. "Er… Just an old Chelsea Cain. Felt like re-reading it."
The eyebrows raise further. "Castle…" Her hand swipes the book out of his before he has time to register what she's doing, and she pulls the jacket away from the cover to reveal a book markedly different in tone to the cover he'd swapped it for in an attempt to conceal it. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. "Really, Castle?"
"Ok, ok, ok. Alexis texted me this morning and told me she's started re-reading the final book again, and somehow… it ended up in a challenge. I'm not about to let the pint-sized Princess Leia beat me at the very thing I'm best at... Even if it is a children's book. Speed reader my ass… I'm the only speed reader in this family."
She hands him the book back with a wry smile and squishes her body a little closer to his, finding his hand with her own and entwining their fingers. "You are a child, you know that? Give you a challenge – any challenge – and you fight to the death to prove you're the quickest, fastest, strongest whatever."
"I thought you liked my competitive nature…"
"No, the fact you can't resist touching things is the part I like the most…" His eyes widen a little, part shock at her brazen comment and part amusement, and she lets out a giggle. "There. Now you're lost for words. Job done."
He makes a face at her, before squeezing at her fingers a little. "Speaking of words…" His head nudges in the direction of the building she'd just stepped out of. "How did it go?"
She sighs, before taking a sip of her coffee. "Good, actually. You'll be pleased to know there'll be no more freezing your ass off for an hour, waiting for me each week; Dr Burke says I'm done."
His head tilts a little in surprise. "Done?"
"Yep. I'm cured."
"Kate, how many times have I got to tell you - it's not about curing –"
She interrupts him with a smile. "Castle, I was kidding. He said that he thinks we've done enough… That I've worked through enough. The panic attacks are long gone, and I've been sleeping better for ages. I mean, I can go back if I want, or call him anytime, but he seems to think that I'm ready to… go it alone, so to speak."
"And you're ok with that?"
"Am I ok with it? Castle, these therapy appointments have been going on forever, and costing us a fortune. Of course I'm ok with it."
"It's not about money, Kate, or time. It takes as long as it takes."
"…Castle, after all these years, you still haven't learned when I'm joking?" A smile spreads across both of their faces as Castle's mobile buzzes in his coat pocket. He reaches for it and swipes at the notification, letting out an affronted huff as he reads the message out loud.
"'Chapter twelve, done and dusted... How about you? You do know you're going to lose, right? A kiss-kiss'… That girl is getting cheekier and cheekier with age. I think it's your influence, personally…" His fingers dance over the screen, replying quickly.
'L-O-S-E-R is not in my vocabulary, thank you… Unless it's directed at you. The game is still afoot xxx'
Kate presses her hand to her mouth in an attempt to muffle her laughter. "Nothing to do with me, Castle – she's learned from the best. You act like a twelve year old on a sugar rush most of the time, and apples don't fall too far from the tree you know…"
"Yes, I'm a child – a fact you remind me of at least eight million times a day. Anyway, enough of that – are you sure you're fine with no more appointments? I mean, you've been seeing him for so long... It's a pretty big crutch to let go of, isn't it? I just want to make sure you're ok with it."
She exhales, considering his question. It has been a long time; eleven months, to be exact. At first twice weekly, and then weekly as she worked through everything; the 'zombies', as they'd affectionately termed her more extreme PTSD reactions, the Captain giving his life up to keep her safe coupled with the whole Bracken scenario… It was all too much to think of, in one go; and still, only part of it. But she felt calmer now; safer, and far more able to deal with everything as it came up, as opposed to bottling it all up… Her sessions with Dr Burke hadn't solely focused on the shooting; she'd ended up sharing far more with him than she'd intended, and working through far more than she'd ever realised she needed to. In her eyes, it was equal parts Castle's 'tough love' and Dr Burke's wisdom and insight that had helped her to understand and implement the things she really needed to do to get through it all… although Castle's love wasn't entirely tough. Faced with the possibility of losing him completely she'd run at first, too stubborn to admit or commit, but eventually she'd found her way back to him, despite almost dying in the process. But it was so worth it. They'd been through so much, and yet every single day he was by her side, unfailing in his support and his strength which, by proxy, gave her all the strength she could have needed and more. Strength she didn't even realise she needed. She'd always been so self-sufficient that it was a big step for her to admit that sometimes she needed someone to fight in her corner with her; but she'd been self aware enough by that point to backtrack, and admit she was wrong. And since then, things had only got better… And she was confident that they would continue to do so.
"Kate?" His voice calling her name brings her out of her own thoughts, and she realises she's squeezing his hand tightly. "You ok?"
She shakes her head a little, a physical attempt to clear her mind, and turns to him with a smile on her face. "I'm fine, Castle. Honestly. It's a good thing it's done. And he's always there if I need him… Just like you are."
And then he smiles; that wry, affectionate, sweet smile that makes his eyes crinkle – the one that makes her stomach flip, every single time she sees it. "Always."
She rises from the bench fluidly, sliding her own phone out of her pocket and composing a quick text message to Alexis at the same time. "Come on, we've been sat here long enough. I'm hungry."
His follows her and his chin rests on her shoulder as she writes, peering at the screen. 'I'm taking your Dad for lunch to distract him from the book. Use the time wisely, grasshopper… Whoop his ass. See you later kiddo :) Bx'
"Er, Kate - what are you doing?"
She nudges his head with her own in a playful gesture, pressing 'Send' quickly. "Mind your own, Castle. Girl stuff." The phone buzzes again in her hand almost immediately, and she smiles as she reads the reply.
'Sneaky! Power to the women! Game on... Ax'
His brow crinkles in confusion. "Why do I suddenly feel like all the women in my life are now ganging up on me?"
She smiles and slips the phone back into her pocket as she stands and reaches for his hand, tugging at him and pulling him up gently until they're walking step-in-step beside one another, coffee cups still in hand. "Never, Castle. You have an unhealthily suspicious mind, you know… Now, take me somewhere nice for lunch. I think I deserve it."
He smiles back, and squeezes at her hand again. "I'd say you more than deserve it." Leaning his head down a little, he whispers to her. "And I'm still proud of you. You made it."
"Yep." She gives his head an affectionate nudge in response. "I did, didn't I."
