Sweat beaded around my brow and my pulse seemed to tremble through my body, tears swelling in my eyes. I shook involuntarily.
I was exhausted; physically, mentally, and emotionally. Every ounce of my muscle begged for sleep, but Jenova had forced me onward to my destiny. My mind was weeping, my spirits were broken and my body was bruised. I felt so close to death.
I sighed and glanced up, sorrow weighing heavy on my soul, to see the LifeStream gathering around a single body floating in the center of the spiraling whirlpool at the center of the crater.
Jealousy… Jealousy ripped through my rib cage as I saw his pleasant sleeping face. Large cuts and red gashes marred his perfect flesh, his perfect face. Why did Jenova love him more than me?!
My breath was struggling in my lungs, as I tried to breathe in the warm mist the air held. Jenova's caress scurried through my mind once more.
/Sephiroth! Ah! There he is!/ She exclaimed with a great deal of enthusiasm.
I shared none of this enthusiasm.
"How…are you going to revive him?" I choked back my own tears of rejection.
/Calm yourself, puppet… You will know when the time is right/ She promised. /Now, let's pick him up and bring him out of the LifeStream/ She instructed me and I followed.
I dove into the warm green waters that swam with the spirits of the dead. The LifeStream seemed so thick I could barely move, or maybe it was just that I didn't want to swim towards my enemy at a fast rate.
/Hurry!/ Jenova shouted furiously. /We have almost accomplished our goal!/
I sighed deeply and swallowed the bitter taste of defeat, of ultimate rejection, and of lost hope as I reached his body, his silver hair encircling his corpse, floating majestically in tiny heavenly spirals through the emerald waters. He looked like a sleeping angel.
Brother, why have you beaten me in the end? Why has Mother chosen you over me?
Your fall from grace only served as the platform from where I was bound to be pushed off from. And now here I am. The edge of infinity, it feels like. The end of everything once I pull you from the haunted water, swimming with ghosts of the past.
Once I reach you up to Mother, she will push me back down. Why had I given up everything for you? My god, what have I done? When did I deserve this?
Sephiroth's emotionless face didn't twitch as I mentally clutched at the last ounce of myself. Jenova was rushing through my mind and my cells were trembling in sick anticipation.
What was to become of me?
I reached the shore, pulling Sephiroth's eerily light body up onto the rocks of the Crater.
/Excellent!! Excellent, puppet! Now we can harvest you./ Jenova's voice snarled with fierce passion and my hands began to shake involuntarily.
"J, Jenova!" I screamed and fell to my knees, trembling as my life began to bleed out of me.
A rotting sensation spread as every fiber in my body split open, intense pain ignited. I didn't realize what was happening. I could barely open my eyes as I lay doubled over on the cold rocks. It felt like every individual cell was opening up, spilling it's contents, blood soaked up from my skin like rain soaking through muddy soil.
"W…what…!!" I screamed in pain and begged for mercy, my body going into shock and the sickening wave of nausea sweeping over me.
Slippery warm blood coated my limbs and I felt it seeping down my throat and into my lungs as they broke apart, the hot coppery taste burning my mouth. Tears laced through the blood on my face and my screams felt foreign as I shouted for mercy.
I cried. I cried desperately. I cried out to Jenova for relief.
My own body had turned against me now. Jenova's breath spliced my cells in two as the Jenova life crawled from my cells towards Sephiroth, lying facedown in a puddle of silver.
/Harvest your cells for Sephiroth. By combining the healthy Jenova parts of your cells with his Jenova we can awaken his and revive him entirely!/ Jenova's voice sounded so far off in the darkness.
I couldn't see, I couldn't breathe. I felt hot tears all over my face, yet I couldn't feel myself crying anymore. I couldn't hear myself desperately screaming for that last ounce of hope and relief that I was begging for.
Then, just when I thought I couldn't bare it any longer…
There was nothing.
Everything closed, zipped shut fast. I opened my eyes, the sting gone, and my senses sprang to life. The soil below was swept with strawberry fields amidst a world of violets, shimmering in the sunlight, beneath the warm vanilla skies. The winds breathed refreshing life through me and I saw beauty.
Absolute beauty.
Something so unfamiliar…
I tasted freedom as the last of the Jenova drained from my cells.
I could practically feel my cells struggled to reconstruct themselves from the tattered remains the Jenova left in its wake. She was gone. My mind felt so empty without that voice lingering, without that touch always holding me down. It was as though I was opening my eyes for the first time.
I was never to hear that voice again. She was gone. My pupils dilated in the sudden light and I watched the thousands of violets sway in the unseen wind beneath me. I was born again. I never knew this was what life was like.
"You're dying," Zack's voice cracked the image of the violets and my vision shattered like glass, breaking away into nothingness.
"I'm dying?" I whispered in the cold.
"Your cells cannot possibly fuse themselves back together after wrenching away the only thing that gave them the intense life they've grown accustomed to- Jenova. Without your Jenova binding your cells together…" Zack trailed off and blood splattered on the blackened walls.
"Cloud…" a different voice grabbed my attention now. A voice I knew.
"She's no longer with you. But are you truly free? Your cells don't know how to live without their life. She's dragged herself from you to save Sephiroth, but now you are dying. Open your eyes, Cloud," Zack ordered me.
"Cloud…" the voice sobbed and I felt someone kissing my forehead.
"Open your eyes!" Zack demanded.
A sense of panic and urgency crept up on me and the sobbing voice sounded sadder and sadder. Someone was touching my face.
"Wake up!" Zack screamed and my eyes snapped open.
The green glow from the LifeStream bounced off a darkened figure leaning over me. I was lying on my back, my hearing restored.
Someone was laughing.
…I hear him laughing… He's always laughing…
"Cloud," the voice sobbed as the laughter grew louder.
…She's gone. She's gone. She's gone. I can finally sleep.
"Wake up!" Zack echoed with more panic than before, and my eyes lazily shifted towards the person leaning over me. Long brown hair, a gloved hand touching my cheek…
Deep ruby wine colored eyes drooping with sorrow…
