The end is near. Thank you very much if you've sticked to Nightminds so far. I really apologize for the delayed mini-updates...


The final notes of the song went unnoticed for most of the attendants, who were still chorusing nahnahnahsHeyJudens as if their lives depended on it. Slowly, as the absent-minded singers realized that the party was over, the noise, laughter and voices began to fade away till silence reigned once more. However, nothing could have wiped the nostalgic smiles from their flushed and suffocated faces. Jude was standing up with her fist buried in the centre of her chest in an attempt to quiet her racing heart, which threatened to explode any minute due to the intensity of emotions pumping in her veins. The other hand was gripping the border of the stand, preventing her from collapsing on shaky legs, while she was obviously making a titanic effort to regain control of her tongue.

"T-thank you all…", she managed to say at last in a thin voice that bordered on aphony. "…for coming here today to… well, to commemorate his life and not his passing, as Robert wished. Because I think he would tell you so if he had had the chance…". Alison tilted her head when she caught the subtle wink in the other woman's eye, the person she had almost detested with deep loathing for trying to take Robert from her and breaking off their friendship. "We all…we all were his family, witnesses of the tragedies he had to suffer throughout his life but of his happiness too. He lived life to its fullest. Perhaps he did not have time to do heroic deeds and never would. Gosh, I can say I'm relieved that he never got to make that journey around the world on a sailing ship he fantasized about when we were younger!". Some knowing chuckles supported her and lightened things up. "In spite of the unaccomplished dreams, Rob had a rich life he was just starting to embrace and enjoy with all his heart, mind and soul". Jude said this with an overwhelming certainty and a radiant smile that formed dimples in the corners of her mouth. "After all, he was all about learning. Learning new and exciting things about the whole world: from his parents, whom he missed dearly, his friends, his pupils, his colleagues… from everyone God had moved forward to cross paths with him. And even if his sharp, rational and scientific mind ever prevailed over his feelings, I don't know how he achieved the perfect balance in the end, but he took all those lessons in life and all those people and engraved them into his heart. And then he taught us all, passing on the illusion and vitality that made Him. That were Him. Robert gave it freely with each and every one of his smiles, with his support. Even when Joshie died…he was so very brave. More than I ever was and more than he ever realized. In the end, he showed admirable strength and moved on to keep learning and teaching us to see through his lens. I really hope that we'll take his last lesson and remember it always, so that we make the most of our lives and use them whenever we need to lean on one another. Right here, right now, in this moment of…pain and the ones that surely will come in the future. I pray that his light will lead us to the end of the proverbial tunnel he never tired of talking about…". The applause drowned the rest of her speech. Jude waited till the clapping stopped and cleared her voice before continuing. "Robert would have loved to tell you all of that in person… but, even with his knowledge and his natural way with words, sometimes… finding the right words to express his own emotions became a bit hard for him…". She was forced to lift a hand to pacify the murmurs of protest and scepticism that came from the back of the church. "…so, upon his written request", she waved a sheet of paper in the air. "I'll ask you to listen carefully to the next song, as many of you will find it is not as popular as the previous one. However, it must have been meaningful to Robert somehow for him to be so ardent in sharing it with us today". She made a pause and swallowed. "To You". Jude read the cryptic and vague dedication without casting her eyes away from the paper. To her signal, the person in charge of the stereo system pressed the play button and the ghostly notes of a piano floated above them. A girl's voice, echoing with a deep melancholy, accompanied the tearful widow in her descent from the altar.

Just lay it all down.
Put your face into my neck and l
et it fall out.
I know, I know, I know. I knew before you got home.
This world you're in now,
it doesn't have to be alone,
I'll get there somehow, 'cos
I know I know I know
when, even springtime feels cold.


But I will learn to breathe this ugliness you see,
so we can both be there and we can both share the dark.
And in our honesty, together we will rise,
out of our nightminds, and into the light
at the end of the fight...

A light pressure on her forearm awoke Alison from her distressed reverie. Jude locked gazes with her, both of them well aware of the strange feeling of empathy that burned in their hearts and that filled the space between them with waves of sorrow that had the same resonance frequency as the violin melody from the recording. The baby was gently returned to the arms he rightfully belonged into. His mother rocked him and patted his back lovingly, while Alison found herself with only emptiness in her hands and all her focus set on the lyrics, which brought back too many memories of him. An ode to friendship, sung with that aussie accent, velvety soft, that spoke of hurt and defeat, of the slippery monsters that live within ourselves and threaten to break us. A song of fear, of loneliness and exclusion, of understanding and giving, about the sacrifices we make for the people we love the most. Of how it's the little gestures that really count and help us save them once and again, rescue them in the darkest moments of despair and weakness.

You were blessed by
a different kind of inner view: it's all magnified.
The highs would make you fly,
but the lows make you want to die.
And I was once there,
hanging from that very ledge where you are standing.
So I know, I know, I know,
it's easier to let go.

But I will learn to breathe this ugliness you see,
so we can both be there and we can both share the dark.
And in our honesty, together we will rise out of our nightminds
and into the light at the end of the fight.

...and in our honesty, together we will rise out of our nightminds
and into the light... at the end of the fight...

Alison held back a soft chuckle. Finally… she got it. His message. Truly got it. He was with her, always would be. Even if she couldn't see him or hear his voice. Or feel him in any way. He would be walking after her. In the air she was breathing in, in the memories she would treasure forever, in the little boy that sucked his thumb in sleep beside her. In the woman that was holding the baby as if it was going to vanish in the next blink of her eyes. Robert would be in those songs. In their hearts. In the aura of protection and safety, of trust and serenity that had cocooned her that morning when she had woken up all alone on a corner of her kitchen that looked like a surrealistic Picasso with pieces of glass scattered everywhere and the brushstrokes of dried wine crossing the tiles and the walls

She felt lighter than ever, floating in the weightlessness that was breaking free of the pain and the grief. Liberated by an optimism that seemed to drill a thousand holes in the heavy gravestone that she had been carrying over her heart for days since the premonitions had begun to haunt her dreams. Alison felt alive, full of energy and strength to move on, to rebuild her life with a certain dignity from the ruins of the no-life she had been dragging like a ball and chain for ages.

And she could have never done it without him.

She was free because of Robert.


Review? Please?? I'd really appreciate knowing what you think of the story or the translation... but anyway, thanks for reading :)