By the time midnight rolled around, I was thoroughly lost in the CBD. I didn't want to call home for someone to come and get me, because that would then pose the question of how I ended up there in the first place when I was meant to be at home, and I couldn't catch a cab as I had no money. Going back to Riku's was completely out of the question, so instead I wandered the brightly-lit streets of the nightclub area, wishing for all I was worth that I was old enough to sit down at a bar and forget all of my troubles.

Kicking at a rock, I remembered what Axel had said about Riku being bad for me.

"So, I didn't mean to sound rude or anything, but did you really hook up with Riku G?"

"Er, yeah."

"Maybe you should stay away from him, Roxas."

"Why?"

"Someone like him isn't good for someone as young as you."

But I kicked that rock harder when I realized that Axel was part of the reason Riku went after me in the first place – because Axel hadn't let Riku have the one person he wanted. With anger, I wondered why all of Cloud's friends were so fucked up.

I hadn't realized how hard I'd kicked that rock until it rocketed into somebody's thigh and I heard a stranger cry out in pain. I rushed over to see if he was okay.

A boy of about my age looked at me. He had curly, wiry blonde hair that had been slicked back and he wore camouflage cargo pants, which I recognized. I had seen this guy at Cloud's housewarming party.

He glared at me and rubbed his thigh. "What the hell was that for, man?"

"I'm really sorry, dude; I didn't mean to hit you with it." I grovelled. The guy, whose name had slipped me, shrugged and his large brown eyes softened slightly.

"You look a little lost." He said, and I nodded reluctantly. "My name's Hayner. What's yours?"

I looked into his honest eyes and realized that I didn't want to be the angry Roxas anymore. I didn't want to be that stuck-up guy who thought he was smarter than everybody else, but was secretly lonely. Being Roxas hurt too much. I wanted to be a stranger with a stranger's problems that didn't really matter at the end of the day. With a twist in my gut, I took a deep breath and lied.

"I'm Jeff."

Hayner slapped a friendly hand on my shoulder. "What are you doing in this part of town, Jeff?"

Usually a stupid question like that would have drawn a sarcastic answer out of me, but I couldn't think of anything sharp or witty to say. Instead I shrugged. Hayner smiled at me. "Well I don't know about you, but I am looking to get fucked up tonight. You looking to hit the bars?"

I shrugged. Maybe, if I kept my mouth shut, he'd smuggle me away to some dark corner where I could forget what I looked like. Hayner laughed at my shrug and I realized that he was slightly drunk. I smiled.

"Yes. Yes I am."

I'm still not sure how he did it, actually. I remember we were walking down the street, sipping foul liquid from his hip flask like we were gangsters from the forties. Then we were walking in a car park, down a long, dark corridor and suddenly we were in a bar that was dark but there were bright, flashing lights everywhere. The thumping music was deafening. He ordered me a drink without asking me what I wanted, so I handed him some money to cover the cost of the drink but he waved it away.

"First one's on me, dude." He smiled, slapping a friendly arm on my shoulder again. I grinned and took the drink he gave me. I don't really remember what it was, but I drank it and it was sweet relief.

My thoughts swirled in my head as we danced and drank. Fuck Riku. He only wanted to fuck me. Fuck Axel. He was unhappy so he made everyone else unhappy. Fuck Sora. Fuck Cloud. Fuck me. Fuck everybody! We were all unhappy, stupid and horny, fuck us all with a meteorite! Let the sea levels rise! Let the pollution poison us! Let the tigers and the baby pandas die! Let me out of my misery!

The rest of the night is a blur. I remember dancing, drinking the wonderfully foul drinks Hayner kept buying for me and I remember stumbling into the bathroom for a piss but missing the urinal completely. I remember that lights were flashing, music was thumping, and Hayner had a protective arm around my shoulders most of the night.

What I don't remember is throwing up. I don't remember the bouncer kicking me out for being too drunk. I don't remember stumbling around the streets, screaming incoherently. I certainly don't remember being picked up by the police.

What I do remember is waking up in a hard bed with a bright light in my face. My head felt like it was on fire. I rolled onto my side and tugged a rough blanket over my head, groaning. A loud voice was shouting at me from very far away. Something unimportant. I moaned and tried to block it out, but there was a hand on my shoulder, shaking me roughly.

I opened one bleary eye and saw Dad leaning over me, frowning. My head was too messed up to figure out what that frown meant, but I smiled at him. Maybe the previous few weeks had been just a dream, and he was there to wake me up for school. I let out a small sigh and relaxed slightly.

"Hey." I mumbled. My voice was broken, cracked. Just like the rest of me.

Dad sighed and tugged me into a sitting position. For the first time I looked around properly, and my gut dropped as I realized where I was.

The room was small, maybe three by two meters. There were no windows, just a sink on one wall and a small toilet next to it. The toilet was caked with vomit that I supposed was my own. Transparent flexi glass covered the far wall, with a sliding door in the middle. I was in a holding cell.

I looked at Dad and cowered. His face red, his lips tight, he spat a few words at me and I knew that I had fucked up big time.

"Let's go."

I stood up and nausea hit me like a flying brick, but Dad didn't let me get my head straight. He grabbed me by the elbow and marched me out of the cell. I had to fill out a few forms at a nearby counter and Dad handed over some bail money, but once that was done Dad dragged me out of the police station.

The ride home was a quiet one, which I wasn't sure to be thankful for. I watched the city fly past my window and tried to forget how much trouble I was in, but the churning in my gut and the aching in my head wouldn't cease. If Mum was there she'd be yelling at me as she sped through traffic, but Dad was just staring at the road, knuckles white on the steering wheel, doing the speed limit. I wished that he would yell at me, or hit me, or just do something. If he showed how angry he was at me it would save me from being angry at myself.

And I was infuriated with myself. Where the hell did I get off running out onto the street at nine PM? Why didn't it cross my mind that talking to drunken strangers was dangerous? What happened to my distaste for alcohol? And most importantly, how the hell had I let myself get so drunk the police had to hold me in custody for the night?

If the car ride was bad, things got much, much worse when I got home.

Dad sat me down at the table and commanded me to stay there. His voice was quiet but I knew if I so much as shifted in my seat I was going to die. He called out softly to Mum, who entered the room. She was also quiet, and for a second I thought she wasn't mad. But then I noticed how all of the tendons in her neck were visible and how wide her eyes were, and it dawned on me that Mum was too angry for words, which was something I had never seen before. Not even when Cloud was arrested for stealing that car.

I was too scared to silently pray for mercy.

Dad took Mum's hand and led her to the table, where they sat opposite from me. I shrank in my seat, feeling the heat from both of their glares.

For a moment, it was just that. They stared at me, and I cowered. Eventually however, I knew I had to break the silence. If they started yelling, at least they'd get it all out of their systems and cool down. Right?

"Well?" I asked timidly.

Mum took a deep breath, just like Dad had her do when she got very angry, and for a moment I hoped that she would be calm. But then she started to scream.

"What has gotten into you, Roxas? What the fuck were you thinking? Do you ever think? What you did was dangerous, stupid and I thought you were better than that! I am absolutely disgusted with you and I hope you realize there are serious implications to your actions!"

It was about then that Dad put a hand on her shoulder and she shut up. I breathed a sigh of relief. That wasn't as bad as I thought it would be.

"Don't think that you're in the clear now, Roxas." Dad threatened when he saw me relax. "I am seriously disappointed in you. Your mother and I were so proud of you and we thought that you were destined for great things, but it seems you've sunk to Cloud's level."

I looked at my hands in my lap. "I know."

"Don't look away from me." Dad growled, and I met his glare. "If you think you're getting out of this without punishment, you are sorely mistaken. You're grounded. No computer, no TV, no leaving the house aside from school or work for a month."

It was pretty much as I expected. Dad went on to say how he was putting the playstation in his closet, and how Mum had already taken all of the books out of my bookshelf. I was allowed to hang onto my dusty mobile phone, however, but I was only to use it when either he or Mum contacted me to make sure I was where I was supposed to be.

But Mum butted with a note that I was not expecting.

"And you are never to see him again."

My eyebrow quirked before I could stop it. "Who?"

My confusion spread. Mum and Dad exchanged a look. "What?" She said.

"Uh… who am I not supposed to see?"

It was clearly the wrong thing to say. Mum slammed her fist down on the table with a loud crash. "That Riku!" She spat his name like it was a curse.

At that moment in time, I honestly didn't care if I never saw Riku again. A strange feeling of fatigued hyperactivity swirled in my chest, and before I knew it I was smirking. This was just too damn funny. What did Riku have to do with getting arrested for drunk and disorderly behaviour? "Why?"

Mum stood up, tossing her chair back with a clatter. I jumped slightly. She disappeared into the lounge room for a moment, but came back holding a piece of paper. She slapped it onto the table, and I felt my gut sink.

Printed on that piece of paper was a picture of Riku and I, lying on his bed. Riku was straddling me. My shirt was unbuttoned and the hickey on my neck was pink and shiny. We were both staring at the camera with looks of shock.

"Where?" I muttered, my voice breaking into an octave higher than I had ever heard it "Where did you get this?"

"It was on Cloud's memory card." Mum glared "Which I found in my camera."

I closed my eyes. If I hadn't already died and gone to Hell, I knew for sure that it was going to happen very soon.

-x-

After Mum had calmed down and stopped screaming at me for 'becoming a faggot behind her back', Dad drove me to school. My head was killing me and I hadn't completed the work set out for me on Monday, but Dad figured that a day slaving away at school was good enough punishment for the night before.

I didn't have many friends at school, so only a few people noticed that I'd been absent. I was actually on time for my first lesson, so nobody had to know that I'd spent the previous night in a holding cell. Anyone who asked about the hangover was told that it was just a coming-down effect of the horrible cold I'd suffered for the previous two days. Even the teachers bought it, but they still looked at me with a curious suspicion. The slight bruising around my eye was still noticeable, however, so I told anyone who asked that I got into a fight with a tiger, or a lion, or superman. Each person who asked would then laugh and drop it. But I was grateful I didn't have P.E. that day as I didn't want the other boys in my grade to see my blackened chest and stomach when I changed my shirt.

By lunch time I was fine, though a little unfocused on my schoolwork. I spent that afternoon doodling on my notes in class and trying to forget that my parents weren't mad that I had put my life in danger, but that I had hooked up with another male.

When school was over I caught the bus home as usual. I walked into the house and was greeted by the sounds of Mum shouting at Dad and Dad quietly responding. They'd fought before, though not often, and I was a little shaken when I heard my name mentioned. I went straight to my room and tried unsuccessfully to drown out the shouting with my homework. Eventually things calmed down and I ventured out, but Dad was in one room and Mum was in the other and neither would talk to me.

I spent that evening wallowing in self-pity in my room.

-x-

That Saturday morning, a day later, Cloud barged into my room and woke me up by flicking cold water on my face. I sat up slowly with a groan. My bruises always hurt most in the mornings, I'd noticed, but my heart was heavier than it had been in ages.

Cloud, on the other hand, was in good condition. His grazed cheeks had scabbed over, so the hideous bandages had been removed. The stitches still glinted above his eye, but as it had only been a small cut the doctors had promised that it wouldn't scar too much. The lost teeth had been taken care of with a few false teeth that matched his natural teeth rather nicely and his broken nose had been moulded back to its original shape, or as close to it as the doctors could get. Once the plaster was removed it was revealed that Cloud's nose had actually acquired a rather charismatic bend, and I think it looks rather nice. The neck brace had only been temporary, but Cloud was still a little stiff around the neck and shoulders at that point.

He smiled at me. "Wanna go catch a movie today?"

I sighed and told him about my grounding, but I neglected to mention just how Mum and Dad had found out about Riku and I. I didn't feel like getting all angry over it again.

Cloud sighed. "What a bummer." He muttered, digging around in his pocket. He pulled out his mobile phone and held a finger up to shush me as he dialled a number and held the phone to his ear. I rolled over and tried to zone him out, but I must have gone back to sleep.

Cloud shook my shoulder gently and I sat up, instinctively looking at the clock and realized that I had been asleep for almost an hour. He smiled at me.

"Get dressed, come down stairs and follow my lead, okay?"

I nodded, still dumb with sleep. I have since realized that Cloud always gets me to do the dumbest shit when I have just woken up and am too sleepy to argue. He left me to get dressed.

About five minutes later I trotted downstairs, a little curious to see how Cloud planned to smuggle me out of the house. What I saw was one of the first strokes of genius my brother had ever had.

Kairi sat on the couch, next to Mum. They were talking to each other very quickly, and I realized that they were gossiping about some soap opera. Dad was standing nearby, examining every inch of Kairi with a look of utter disapproval.

"Ah, Roxy baby! There you are." Kairi purred when she saw me. She stood up in one fluid movement, and before I knew it she was hanging off my arm. I knew better than to show how fucking shocked I was. Dad wandered over.

"So, how did you guys meet again?" He asked slowly.

"Oh, I met her through Ri-" I began, but Kairi elbowed me.

"Hut-say up on the iku-Ray" she murmured in my ear. I was totally flabbergasted, as I had never legitimately heard someone speak Pig Latin since third grade, and it took me a moment to decipher her words. Kairi turned to Dad and giggled girlishly.

"I think Roxas forgot for a second there. We used to go to St. John's together, so I guess we've known each other for years."

Dad narrowed his eyes at me. "And yet you've never mentioned her before, Roxas."

I shrugged. "I get shy."

Mum bounded over and practically cooed over Kairi and I, saying how pretty she was, how lucky I was to have her and how I had to treat her right or else she would bury me alive. Kairi soaked up all of the attention like a designer sponge.

It was around that point that I noticed Cloud watching us from the other side of the room, grinning from ear to ear, and I realized that he must have called Kairi over while I was sleeping. He came over and put an arm around Mum.

"These two were going to go on a date today. Roxas was going to take Kairi to the cinema and buy her popcorn and hold her hand for the whole movie. Or at least he was planning to, but I think that I'll have to sit between them so no hanky panky goes on." He laughed and winked to Mum, who nodded happily at everything he said.

Cloud sighed sadly and shrugged dramatically, causing me to cringe at his bad acting. "But Roxas is grounded, and he can't take Kairi out now. And look, she got all dressed up for it too. Her shoes even match her nail polish. Look Mum, see? She's all dressed up but her boyfriend can't take her out because he did a bad thing ages ago."

Wow, did he think I would make such a crappy boyfriend? I wouldn't promise to take Kairi out on a date if I was grounded.

I mentally slapped myself. Kairi was so not my type, and we barely knew each other.

That never stopped you before. A snide little voice whispered in my head. I shut it out.

As Cloud spoke, Mum waved her hand dismissively. "I'm sure it'll be okay for Roxas to take Kairi to the cinema today if you accompany them, Cloud. It is just a date, after all. Right Sam?" She looked hopefully at Dad, who frowned.

"He's grounded."

"But it's just one date."

"Yeah, come on Dad!"

"Pleeeaaasseee, Mr. M?"

"Sam, come on."

Finally, after all the needling and whining, Dad threw his arms up in disgust. "Fine." He muttered, and left the room.

I didn't know it then, but that was the breaking point for Dad.

I spent the next few hours blissfully unaware that as I watched some boring chick flick that my parents were screaming at each other again, but from what the neighbours mentioned later it was much more brutal than ever before. They told me that they could hear them both yelling and swearing, and they could hear Mum tossing dinner plates at the wall in her fury. I munched on sweets as across the city, my mother slapped my father and he packed his bags. By the time I got home three hours later, Dad had already wished Mum a very speedy decline in health and was gone.

It was lucky that Cloud and Kairi came in with me, because I don't know what I would have done if I was alone. When I walked in through the kitchen door, the house was eerily quiet. There were shards of broken plate on the floor, but I just assumed it was an accident and made a mental note to clean it up once I put my things away. The TV, which Mum usually left on for background noise, was unplugged at the socket. Again, I didn't think anything of it and plugged it back in.

"Why's it so quiet?" Cloud asked as he helped himself to a slice of ham from the fridge. I shrugged as I strode deeper into the house, looking for any signs of life.

Eventually, I could hear a light sobbing. Concerned, I followed the sound to Mum and Dad's room and discovered Mum lying on the bed, crying into her pillow.

-x-

The hours that followed were painful. I remember that Cloud held Mum close as she wailed and wailed and I sat out in the street gutter with Kairi, kicking rocks and making small talk. In hindsight, I don't think I even knew that Dad had left, so I just left Cloud to figure it out on his own. Don't get me wrong, I do love Mum, but Cloud had it all under control. As they're so alike I think he understood her strong emotions better than I did, even if he couldn't word it that way. Besides, I was never good at comforting people; I guess I'm not empathetic enough. I figured it would be best for me to stay out of the way until she calmed down.

Kairi was a godsend that day. At first she tried to get me to talk about it to her and confide all my problems with her, but I was never the type to tell people my problems. I had a feeling that she didn't want to know just for curiosity's sake, but that she genuinely believed that talking about it would make me feel better. I prefer to bear my burdens alone, and when I told her that she accepted it immediately and changed the topic.

As I learned that day, Kairi was very like her brother in the fact that she did a lot of reading and had a small library herself. I smiled as I listened to her ramble on about how much she loved the Sex and the City books, because I'd never have pegged her as the bookworm type. That was the day I learned that people are never as they seem. Of course I knew the saying, but I'd never actually believed it.

Eventually, Cloud emerged from the house and sat down beside Kairi and I. His face was grim.

"The verdict?" I asked after a moment.

He sighed. "Dad's gone."

At first I didn't understand. "What, gone where?"

Cloud looked at me directly. "He's left us."

I looked at my shoes. At first, it didn't mean anything to me. But slowly, like water trickling over me, it sank in. Dad was leaving Mum? He was leaving Cloud and I too? I drew my knees into my chest and hugged my legs, resting my chin on my arms. Despair set over me like a heavy blanket.

"Why?" I murmured.

Cloud shrugged. "Mum didn't say exactly, but she said that they'd been fighting a lot recently."

I nodded. "They've spent the last two days screaming at each other twenty-four seven."

"She said they were fighting about you."

I sat up straight. Quite suddenly it felt as if my stomach had been wrenched out of my body. "They were? Why?"

Cloud shrugged again and looked away, resting his chin in his hands. "I don't know."

We sat in silence for a while. The whole time I was mulling over the possibility that the whole situation was my fault. How could it be, though? I was a good student with a decent future to look forward to, I was quiet, well mannered and I didn't go to any parties or do any drugs. I had been arrested for disorderly conduct, but that hadn't fazed my parents too much. They had been concerned over something less significant.

And then it hit me.

Was it possible that they were fighting over my fling with Riku? That I had supposedly 'turned into a faggot' when they weren't looking? I glared down at my feet, wondering if it was even plausible. What was there to fight about? That they hadn't raised me right? That I was kissing someone four years older than myself? Glancing at Cloud, I couldn't remember any uproar when he had come out of the closet at fifteen. My parents respected Leon.

None of it added up in my head. So somehow it was okay for Cloud to be gay and not me? I hadn't even established a lasting relationship with any males, so at that point it was unfair to class me as homosexual. I watched some fallen leaves sway with the wind on the bitumen as I again asked myself the million-dollar question. What was I? Heterosexual or homosexual?

But for the first time, I growled at myself. What did it matter? It was nobody's business but my own whom I hooked up with. Why did I have to choose, and why now? Plenty of people didn't start dating until college, so I didn't have to make my mind up then and there.

I stood up and dug my old mobile phone out of my pocket. Now that Mum and Dad were splitting I doubted they had energy to care if I followed my grounding or not, and I was overcome with a fierce need to talk to Dad. If I was lucky he would tell me why he was leaving, or even assure me that it wasn't my fault.

When he picked up, Dad's voice was quiet.

"Hello." He said, but it wasn't a question. He knew I was calling.

"Hi Dad." I muttered. "Where are you?"

"In a hotel. I think I'll be home tomorrow."

A surge of relief washed through me. "You're not leaving?"

"No, I am. Tomorrow I will collect my things."

I froze. "Oh."

"When I find a new place to live I will be filing for complete custody of you, Roxas."

That made me do a double-take. "You're gonna take me away from Mum?"

Dad sighed. "Not in that way. I'd like you to come and live with me."

As it had done so often recently, anger bubbled in my chest. I was not some toddler who could be possessed. "Well that's great and all, but first I'd like to know exactly why you're gone. Why are you and Mum going to break up?"

I heard Dad sigh again. "It is in regards to your relationship with Riku. Your mother and I agreed on your grounding, but she insisted on more severe punishments. She also holds Cloud responsible for introducing you to Riku. Today, when Kairi appeared, she completely went against her word and tried to get me to revoke your punishment."

I actually hadn't expected Dad to offer an explanation straight up, so I listened carefully.

"Homosexuality is wrong, Roxas, and I need you to understand that. Cloud made his choice and he will suffer the consequences for it, but I know you're better than that. Rewarding you for pretending to date a girl will not teach you any decent morals, only that women are there to fix your mistakes. You'd never learn to treat women as they need to be treated; with love and respect. Your mother feels otherwise."

My throat was tight as I spoke. "So... so you guys were fighting over me?"

"No. No we weren't. We were fighting with each other over how to teach you better morals."

But I wasn't listening. My eyes stung and my voice wavered dangerously as the guilt washed over me like cold water. "You were fighting because of me. Because of me and Riku. It's my fault. It's all my fault."

"No, Roxas-"

I hung up on him.

Cloud and Kairi were staring at me with concern. When I started to cry they were on me like children in an orphanage would be over a giant teddy bear.

Looking back over this story, I've noticed just how many holes there are in my memory. I don't remember many little things, and even though all this happened just a few days ago I don't actually remember when Axel arrived. I still don't know why the hell Cloud thought it would be a good idea to call him over while Mum was on the couch in her bathrobe, eating ice cream right out of the carton and crying along to Titanic. I say she was crying along because I don't think she was even watching it, just wailing along through the happy scenes, sad scenes and boring scenes. I couldn't even hear the actor's voices over hers, so I put the subtitles on after a while.

It's actually pretty disturbing to hear your mum cry for a hundred and ninety seven minutes straight if you're not used to it. I'd only heard her cry twice before that day, once when Cloud came out of the closet and once when her cat died when I was nine. I was pretty shaken up from my own episode and Kairi was mentally exhausted from trying to comfort us both at the same time, so I guess Cloud figured that Axel would brighten the mood. Or at least, I think that was his intention. I'm still not even sure if he was the one who invited Axel or not. It might even have been me.

As I said, I don't remember when Axel got there. I was curled up on the couch a few spaces away from Mum, staring at the screen blankly. I looked about after a while and he was sitting with Cloud and Kairi on the floor. I think I might have blinked at him a few times, but eventually settled for staring at the TV and listening to Mum wail.

So at this point you might think that we were all pretty heartless, just letting her cry. Maybe I am, but Cloud and Kairi definitely aren't. I figured that she'd cry herself out after the first fifteen minutes of the movie, but when she didn't I wasn't expecting her to go on much longer. Axel, I guess, just sat there awkwardly and didn't know what to do.

But this is where I need to stress the fact that Cloud and Kairi aren't heartless like me. They care. Cloud got Mum her ice cream, coffee when she finished that and cuddled up to her when she stopped crying, and Kairi put on Titanic when she figured that Mum just needed a good cry to get it all out of her system.

Sometimes it seems to me like all females are linked telepathically and often have conversations with each other without even speaking. I've seen Mum and Kairi have wordless conversations since that day, and it's crazy because they haven't even known each other for a week but they get each other so completely.

I digress. Eventually, the movie finished and Mum stopped crying. It must have tired her out, because she fell asleep on Cloud's shoulder a few minutes after the movie finished. We quietly debated over moving her to her own bed but as we didn't want to wake her, Cloud carefully eased her head from his shoulder and propped her against a pillow. The four of us crept from the room.

We holed up in my room, with Axel sitting at my desk, Cloud lounging on my bed, Kairi sitting cross-legged on the rug and me slouching against the door. It seemed a little quiet so I popped a random CD into my dusty player and kept the volume low. I never was much of a music nut, but the jazzy music on low eased the tension a little bit.

"So will someone tell me what's going on?" Axel asked Cloud as I fiddled with the CD player. "You didn't exactly tell me what was up when you texted me."

Cloud began to tell Axel about the situation and I zoned out, not really wanting to hear it again., but it was over before too long. The redhead sat back in my chair and stared up at the ceiling, blowing air from his cheeks, mulling the new information over silently.

"That royally sucks." He muttered eventually.

Cloud sighed heavily. It was odd to see him so down. "What should we do?"

Axel shrugged. "My parents are still married, so I don't really know how this sort of thing works. Sorry dude."

Cloud looked at Kairi. "What about you, Kairi?"

She shrugged, just like Axel. "Never knew my dad, so I don't really know either. I'm here for you guys though." She smiled.

Cloud flopped back onto the bed. "Fuck." He hissed.

Axel leaned forward, propping one of his shins over the other. "It's not the end of the world though, Cloud." He said hopefully. "Just because they don't love each other anymore it doesn't mean that they don't love you, right?"

"I read that saying in a self-help book once." I murmured and Axel winced.

"Just trying to help here."

"Maybe we should just let them do what they want." Cloud spoke up.

"Run its course." Kairi agreed.

I sighed. Mum and Dad had been fighting a lot recently. I wondered if I was missing Riku yet. I hadn't seen him for three days, normally a break like that would be driving me mad. But then I remembered how Riku had never really wanted me in the first place, and I decided that I definitely didn't miss him yet.

I did wish he was there though.

"Anyway, what the hell should we do now?" Cloud asked. "We can't just hole up in here all weekend, and I don't really like the idea of leaving Mum all alone here."

I shrugged. "It's not like we can cheer her up. Could you imagine taking her to the zoo or something? It would be a disaster." I sighed. "Apparently Dad's gonna swing by to pack up all his junk tomorrow."

Cloud looked at me oddly. "What did he say when you spoke to him?"

Regretfully, I filled everybody in on the details of my conversation with Dad. When I finished, Kairi was lying on her stomach, Axel had his feet up on my desk and Cloud was hunched into a small ball at the end of my bed.

"Custody battle? Jesus."

Kairi piped up. "Roxas, you're legally a minor but the courts should regard sixteen as an age of maturity. They can't just fight over you like some coveted toy; I think that you'll probably get some choice as to who you live with."

I groaned. "What if I don't know who I want to live with?"

"I've known people to spend one week at one parent's house and another at the other's." Axel mentioned.

"But I don't want to have my shit scattered across the city. It will be like I'm never at home. And besides, what if Dad decides to leave town? I'll be forced to choose then." I kicked at the wall with more frustration than intended. "I don't want to choose one of them."

"Well, you could always come and live with me?" Cloud suggested. I cringed.

"Where would I sleep? On the couch? With Riku? No thank you."

Axel frowned. "I thought you'd patched things up with him."

I sighed. "Well, we had. But… well, I don't think I want to see him anymore."

Kairi's concerned gaze met mine. Obviously Riku wasn't man enough to tell anyone why I didn't want to see him anymore. Axel, on the other hand, was nodding in a satisfied manner and I felt a strong hatred rise in me. I fought down the urge to stab him with the nearest pointy object.

"So Roxy moving in with me is ruled out." Cloud said, thankfully changing the topic. I knew better than to be grateful though, because I was certain he would grill me for details later. "Maybe I should move back in?"

Axel rolled his eyes. "If you're going to do that then why the hell did you move out in the first place? Five bucks says Leon doesn't want you to go."

Leon. Another guy I had to add to my I-will-hate-you-forever list.

Cloud sighed. "Yeah, true."

Axel turned to me. "Why not come and live with me?"

I thought about it for a second. I'd known Axel for exactly a week, but he seemed almost like a better brother than Cloud. However, he was part of the reason Riku had screwed me over so badly, and I wasn't sure if I could forgive him just yet. Besides, Axel lived in a two-room hovel and didn't even have a couch for me to sleep on. No bloody way would I share a bed with him.

"I don't know if your sleeping arrangements could accommodate for another person. Plus, I make like fifty bucks a week. No way could I help you cover your rent." I said eventually.

He shrugged. "Just offering."

Cloud and Axel looked at Kairi expectantly. She shrugged. "I live with my mum and we just barely get by as it is. I can't offer a bed to Roxas without asking her first."

I was a little disappointed at first, but I slapped myself. At last someone in the room was showing signs of having some kind of brain.

I cleared my throat. "Well, I guess that settles it. I'll stay here for the mean time and let Mum and Dad duke it out in court." Sticking my head in the sand wasn't the optimal way to get by this crisis, but it was a way and that was all I needed. "It's not like I need to take drastic actions right this second anyway."

We settled into a comfortable silence. Kairi picked a book from my shelf and began leafing through it. Axel fiddled with his phone. Cloud looked like he was about to fall asleep on my bed. And I just sat and watched everybody, feeling that this was the peace before the storm. On top of my troubles with Riku I now had to go through my parents divorcing, but I couldn't help but smile to myself when I realized that the three people in the room were more help than I had ever had.

Yeah. The last two weeks had taken many things from me, but I knew then that I had gained something too. Something important.

Eventually, Kairi's phone rang. She answered it and chatted for a few minutes, finally hanging up and informing us all that her mother was asking her to go home. Axel sighed and said that he'd probably get a move on too and offered to take Kairi home. Cloud and I showed them out of the house, but before Kairi got into Axel's car she ran back to me and gave me a surprisingly tight hug for such a little girl. Cloud and I waved at them as Axel backed the car out of the driveway. With a final hoot, my only real friends were gone.

I have to give it to him, Cloud didn't waste any time.

"What happened with Riku?" He asked as we turned back to the house. I sighed.

"Can we not?"

We climbed the stairs together.

"Come on dude, what happened?"

I went into my room and Cloud followed.

"I don't want to talk about it."

He shut the door behind me and looked at me pointedly and I knew that resistance was futile.

I flopped down onto the bed with a sigh. Where to even begin with this one? Rubbing my eyes, I cleared my throat.

"Do you remember Reno?"

Cloud sat at my desk and for a brief moment I was reminded of that Friday evening a week ago when I had sat at the desk and Cloud had flopped on my bed to tell me about Riku. I chuckled despite myself.

"Axel's brother? Yeah, I heard the story from Leon. I never met him though."

"And you know that Riku hooked up with Sora shortly afterwards?"

"Sora? What does he have to do with anything?"

"He was there. In the crash."

Cloud's face lit up. "Oh! That actually makes sense."

I laughed without humour. None of it did. But I went on to tell Cloud how Axel had guilted Riku into believing it was his fault that Reno had died. I talked about how Sora became like forbidden fruit for Riku and how he came to think of me as not a replacement but a substitute. Of course, I used much more simplistic language than that. I'm not sure if Cloud would understand what I meant by 'forbidden fruit'.

When I finished talking, Cloud was wearing a thoughtful frown. He thought hard for a few moments. It looked painful.

"You know," He began eventually "That's not how I heard it."

I sat up slightly. A crash can sometimes be hard to remember, especially if it was a long time ago, but I had never considered that Riku's version of events was not exactly true to what actually happened.

"What did you hear?"

Cloud shrugged. "Well, I heard from Leon who heard from Sora that Riku was actually in the front seat during that day. He said that Riku had actually reached over and wrenched the wheel to miss a stray cat or something, and that's why the car rolled."

I gaped at him, trying to wrap my head around what he'd just told me.

Could it be true?

"So you heard from Leon who heard from Sora? Is it possible some of the details got mixed up?"

Cloud shrugged. "I guess it could be. But Leon was pretty sure that was what Sora told him."

"Is it possible that Sora remembered it wrong?"

He sighed. "I don't know for sure, but that's the gossip. I only know what I heard on the grapevine. But all I do know for absolute sure is that Axel and Riku fucking hate each other these days."

I nodded. "All Axel ever did was tell me that Riku was bad for me. Sora said the same thing, but I figured it was for a different reason."

Cloud sighed. "I wish I knew about this sooner, Riku needs a really good talking to."

I eyed the roof unhappily. I didn't think that Cloud getting into a fight with Riku would solve anything. Riku was his roommate so I figured it would be best if they remained on good terms. My mind gently ticked over my problems, examining them from every angle. What could I do about Riku? But did it matter more than my parent's pending divorce? Which mattered to me more? I figured I at least had some control over the situation with Riku – I could choose to forgive him or I could walk away. Mum and Dad would drag me to court whether or not I liked it.

I listened to Cloud tapping away at his phone as I again wondered who I would live with if given the chance. Mum was more opposed to the homosexuality thing and more likely to punish me if it did turn out I liked boys better than girls. But Dad was right about not rewarding me for pretending to date Kairi, even though that was not my idea. His logic made more sense to me, but if I lived solely with Dad I wouldn't be able to get away with half the shit I had until then. My primitive desire to remain close to my mother did influence my thoughts a little, but I knew if I lived with her I'd miss Dad too.

If either of them moved I wasn't sure how that would affect my decision. Cloud was the only person I'd remain in the city to be close to – I was pretty confident I could keep in touch with Kairi over social networking sites and Axel over the phone.

I sighed and rolled onto my side, closing my eyes. Worrying over it all was not doing me any good. Whether I liked it or not, one of my parents was going to take me away from the other and I couldn't bring myself to choose between them.

Eventually, Cloud rose from his seat. I rolled onto my side and watched him stretch lazily.

"I'll be back soon, I just have to go home and do a few things." He said.

I shrugged. "Cool."

Cloud shrugged at me, looking slightly nervous. "Just things, you know, like laundry, dishes, mopping the floor, cleaning the toilet… Things."

I chuckled blandly. Cloud never helped out here so I was willing to bet he wouldn't help out at his new place.

He eyed me off looking increasingly worried. "I'm not going anywhere else, you know. Just home, and then I'm coming right back. So if you need me when I'm gone, that's where I'll be. At home." He laughed nervously.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "You suck at lying, dude, what are you really doing?"

Cloud flinched. "Just cleaning, okay! I'm not doing anything else!"

I sighed. This was going nowhere. "Fine, but please be back soon."

Cloud moseyed towards the door.

"Cleaning… and scrubbing… and stuff."

I threw my pillow at him and told him to get the hell out.

-x-

Derp: The plot thickens!