Wanted
Stop Draggin' My Heart Around
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.
"Ooooh, this is so cute!" Sakura squealed as she admired herself in the dressing room mirror. She had tried on an off the shoulder floral print shirt and ripped jean shorts. The outfit looked incredible on her, and, Sakura thought, with a few accessories it would be The Bomb.
We're hot!
How hot?
White hot! Who wouldn't want to rape us?
Awkward silence...
Sakura shrugged out of the clothes and payed for it at the cash register with Pein's credit card. She skipped off to the next store humming some malisious sounding tuner, completely unaware of the eyes on her back.
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"How should we do this?" Deidara asked Sasori. They were crouched behind one of the fake mall plants by the store their target was skipping into. Unfortunately for them, none of the four boys realized what a horrible hiding place this was.
"Mommy, why are those guys hiding behind a plant?" A little boy said, pointing to the four Akatsuki members.
"Fuck off, kid." Hidan snarled. The little boy ran behind his mother, who promptly beat the silver haired senior into the marble tiles.
"Tobi thinks we need to do this like ninjas!" Tobi shouted, once the mother and child were gone. Hidan grunted and pulled his face out of the Hidan-size hole in the ground. "And how the fuck are we supposed to do that?"
"We should split up and use code names! Tobi wants to be Batman!" Tobi exclaimed childishly.
Deidara glared at the orange masked senior. "Why should you get to be Batman, un?"
"Because Tobi wants you to be Goldy Locks!"
It took twenty minutes to stop the catfight that ensued.
"Okay," Sasori said, holding Deidara back from killing Tobi. "We'll do codenames. Tobi can be Batman, Deidara can be Goldy Locks-oh, Kami. Stop growling, we need nicknames like these so we'll be able to recognize whose who-"
"Fine. Then you can be Woody Woodpecker."
"-As I was saying. Hidan can be-"
"I want my fucking nickname to be Sapphire Angel." At the looks from his fellow Akatsuki members, Hidan exclaimed "What? I'm not allowed to embrace my fucking feminine side?"
Sasori ground his teeth together. Why were they all so irritating? "If you're all satisfied, then let's split up and catch The Target."
Deidara put a finger to his chin. "I think Sakura should have a better nickname then that,"
"Tobi think we should call her Sailor Moon!"
"OKAY! LET'S JUST START THE FUCKING PLAN ALREADY!"
"..."
"What?"
"There was no need to yell, un."
"Seriously, dude. Use your fucking inside voice."
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"Gaara!" Sakura smiled at the redhead behind the counter. To say the pinkette was surprised to see him was an understatement. "I had no idea you worked at Victoria's Secret!"
Sakura had been shifting through the on-sale rack when she spotted a blotch of red nearby. It took all of six seconds for her mind to process that information and go running up to the cash register.
Gaara looked uncomfortable. "Er, yeah. My sister got me the job..."
"You have a sister?" Sakura's eyes absolutely sparkled.
"Yeah," Gaara paused. "Didn't you know? She goes to our school?"
Sakura shook her head much like a dog trying to rid it's fur of excess water. "No, you'll have to introduce me sometime. Oh, look! Bath and Body Works is having a sale! See ya later!"
Gaara ran a hand over his face. My Kami, he was blushing. This girl will be the death of me...
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"I'm not going in that store, un." Deidara glared at Hidan, crossing his arms over his (sexysexysexy) chest.
"You have to. If I go in I'll look like a fucking pervert!" Hidan growled.
"YOU ARE A FUCKING PERVERT!"
"LOOK WHOSE TALKING, GOLDLY LOCKS!"
"DANANANANA, BATMAN!"
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Sakura smiled like a rapist as she dug around the bin of one dollar lotions. There were only two things in this world that could make her smile like that: One, the poster of a topless Johnny Depp in Ino's room. And Two, sales at Bath and Body Works. Because a girl needs to smell her best.
The pink haired teen had at least three bags hanging off each arm. She smiled rapistly again as she picked a bottle of lotion out of the pile labled Irresistible Apple and dropped that in her shopping basket.
"Need some help?" A low voice asked from behind her. Sakura whirled around and came face-to-face with a very angry Sasori.
"Oh, hey. Actually, could you hold these for me? Thanks!" Sakura grinning, shoving her six shopping bags into his arms. She turned back to the task at hand and picked out a couple more bottles; Cherry Blossom, Coconut Lime, Black Amethyst, Warm Vanilla Sugar, Mango Mandarin, and White Citrus.
Hey, they were on sale. And it's not like she had to pay for them.
Sasori just stared as Sakura skipped up to the register and handed the cashier Pein's Master card. "You can't be serious."
Sakura gave him her rapist smile. "Oh, but I am. And you get to be my bag-carrier, you should feel honored!"
The redhead's eyes twitched, but he followed her none-the-less.
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"Goldy Locks! We have a problem! Tobi repeats, WE HAVE A PROBLEM." Deidara winced and held the phone away from his beautiful ear.
"I heard you the first time, un." The blond stated. The phone cracked and suddenly Hidan's voice could be heard through the small speaker.
"This is Sapphire Angel. Woody Woodpecker has been captured by Sailor Moon."
Deidara's eye twitched, hewas was the only one allowed to be blond in the Akatsuki. "Then let's go rescue him, un."
A sigh. "Can't we just let her fucking have him?"
"No, now get your ass moving."
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"Y'know, is it just me, or is the mall strangely scarce of people today?" Sakura asked, eyeing the normally crowded store suspiciously.
Sasori sighed. "It's nearly ten p.m. Obviously people went home, stupid."
Sakura raised an eyebrow at him. Stupid? Is that the best he can come up with? Of course, she shouldn't be one to talk. "Your face is stupid."
"My face is beautiful." Smirk.
Glare.
Smirk.
Rapist smile.
Confused look.
Sakura grabbed the nearest article of clothing she could find and ran into a dressing room. It was the type of store that required you to ask an employee to unlock the door for you, so she had to slip under the gap above the door.
Sasori stared after her, wondering what the hell was wrong with this girl. He found out a second later, when Tobi jumped out from behind a row of dresses and glomped the Redhead.
"WOODY WOODPECKER! TOBI THOUGH YOU WERE A GONER!" Distantly, Sasori thought he heard Sakura snickering from inside the dressing room.
"Hey, danna, un. We've been looking everywhere for you." Deidara said, walking into the store with Hidan trailing behind him.
The silver haired senior snorted. "Haha. She forced you to carry her bags, just like some shitty pack mule."
Sasori quirked an eyebrow. "Uh-huh. Whatever you say, Sapphire Angel." This time, everyone heard Sakura's mocking laughter loud and clear. It bubbled up and echoed around the empty store like silver bells. All four Akatsuki members blushed at the enticing sound.
...Wait, Sasori thought, something about that last sentence wasn't right. The redhead eyed the area suspiciously, and then it hit him. Empty. The store was empty.
"Hidan, what time is it?" The stoic senior asked abruptly. Something about his tone made the other Akatsuki members look over at him strangely.
Hidan bristled at the order. "Why the fuck should I tell you?"
Sasori ground his teeth together. If you want something done, you have to do it yourself.
He grabbed the silver haired teen's arm and shoved up his sleeve-Kami only knew why Hidan was wearing a fuzzy purple sweater in the middle of the desert-to check the Hello Kitty watch that normally adorned his friend's wrist.
The pink hands were pointing evilly towards the eleven and twelve. Sasori cursed.
"Language~" Sakura sing-songed from her hiding spot inside the dressing room.
Deidara shot his friend a concerned look. "What up, un?"
The redhead stared back at him with hard gray eyes. "It's eleven 'o clock. The mall has been shut down for the night."
The rest of the four Akatsuki members looked at him in shock. "Are you sure?" Deidara asked fearfully. The last thing he wanted was to be struck in a mall with Tobi all night.
Sasori nodded gravely. "Yes, that's why all the employees are gone now, and the doors are all locked."
"But wouldn't they fucking lock the stores too?" Hidan argued angrily.
"They don't need to unless it's Christmas break or a big shopping day. It's cost alot of money to lock every store in this place." The redhead bit out, obviously running out of patience. Just then, he remembered Sakura, still hidden in the dressing room.
Oh shit! He thought. What if she was afraid of the dark? The lights would shut off at any moment, and the last thing he needed was for her to start crying. Oddly enough, he felt protective over the little pink haired sophomore, maybe even a little guilty for stealing her first kiss.
"Sakura!" Sasori shouted, throwing open the dressing room door that was, strangely, not locked. It was then he realized exactly why she had been so quiet.
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"This is boring." Itachi stated, coming as close to whining as he ever would.
"Your face is boring." Kisame snapped.
Itachi looked at him as if he had just said he wanted to find Nemo. "My face is beautiful."
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Cliffhanger! Haha, I'm so evil :D I better get at least eight reviews, or else I'll wait a month before updating again :P Just kidding, but seriously, the more reviews I get, the faster I update.
Wow, I really like this chapter. I think this might be the best I've written for this story. What do you think? Has my writing improved?
