Lost in Time and Space

Chapter One Written for The Review Lounge, Too 2015 Green Room Challenge. Challenge Twelve: Colliding Dimensions

Beta Read by InsertImaginativeNameHere


Chapter Seven

"Carter, do you see any signs of black holes?" Jack asked his second in charge. He was using her handheld machine which detected time holes along with other things and it wasn't going off. The first thing he'd done was walk every ten floors and found nothing.

"No sir, but like I've already mentioned before I don't have access to our own equipment and it's better to be on the side of precaution," Sam replied.

"Should we really be splitting up?" Daniel asked.

"The ships are all small Daniel, they are not designed for long trips with more than a few people. Going to save Kryten in one was bad enough, this will be even longer than that" Jack replied. "I've been over them myself. It's like being in a sardine tin. T and I will go in one ship, T's had extensive flight training from the robot and Rimmer. The robot and the cat will be on another ship. On the largest ship will be you two, Rimmer and Lister," Jack instructed his crew. "Will you two really be alright with those two for twelve hours? Not even the robot wanted to go with Rimmer."

"I have no problem with either of them. In fact, we plan to play Risk during our trip." Daniel replied. "Well Arnold, Sam and I plan to play Risk. Dave has no interest in Risk."

"What is Risk?" Teal'c asked.

"It's a game that geeks and nerds play," Jack informed his alien friend. "We don't have time for those two to explain, and I don't really know what it is myself. You're both ready to leave?"

"Yes sir, I have the equipment to monitor Dave in case anything goes wrong while we are away. Medical equipment in the event of an emergency, tools for the same reason and supplies for the four of us to last several days if something does go wrong," Carter replied. "We also have our radios."

Jack nodded. "Alright team, head out. You kids stay safe."

Daniel and Sam nodded. SG-1 split up, Daniel and Sam heading to Starbug 1 and Jack and Teal'c heading to Blue Midget 4. Kryten and Cat were both leaving Starbug as Sam and Daniel arrived.

- Red Dwarf -

"Stop going through my things, you should be checking you have enough supplies, do you know how close to having the babies you are?" Rimmer scolded Lister.

"Relax, I'm sure we have everything, besides we won't be long gone. Just until the black holes are gone. It's not like I'm going to give birth on Starbug," Lister replied with a shrug.

"That is a whole twelve hours David Lister, twelve hours if the black holes doesn't destroy the ship or kill us. Twelve hours, anything can happen in twelve hours."

"Rimmer, you have supplies for a month, stop being such a mother hen, everything is going to be fine," Lister said. "Not to mention how many supplies Daniel and Sam also have. You're a bunch of over-prepared twats."

"Someone needs to be, you're the most unprepared person I know, you're not even ready for this baby yet, your days away from becoming a parent," Rimmer lectured again. "You're twenty-six years old, you should be old enough and mature enough to have a child, but you're still mentally a child yourself, it's like watching a teen mother trying to get ready for their first child on prom night in the toilet block before a school dance."

Lister rolled his eyes. "I'm still twenty-five. Everything is going to be fine,"

"No it's not, you're too carefree," Rimmer complained. "You said that the baby won't be born here, but that is a real possibility. Babies aren't predictable, it might be born on Starbug."

"No they won't. I'm not due for a few more days. You're a hypochondriac who panics about the smallest things constantly," Lister replied. "Look where that got you, all you're panicking and over-preparing and who's the one that is still alive?"

"You could have killed the whole crew when you brought the cat on board. Do you know what type of diseases they have? We have quarantine rules for a reason, to keep everyone safe, but no you think you are above the rules."

"At least I didn't actually kill the crew with how incompetent I am. Everyone is dead because of you. Chen, Petersen, Selby and all my mates. Kristine, the girl that I love and will never be able to tell. The kitchen staff, the officers, the miners, the diesel deck staff, the doctors and scientists, the Captain, even that little old lady from supplies. Everyone is dead including Yvonne McGruder who I know you still have a thing for!" Lister yelled back.

"Do you think that I don't know that? I have to live...exist with the guilt that I killed everyone. I try not to think about it, but the reminders are everywhere. I'm reminded every time I walk down the hallway, every time I see your face, every time I look in the mirror and she the H on my forehead." Rimmer pointed to his forehead. "I didn't know that everyone would die by me not doing my job properly. If I had known that was a possibility I would've handed the job to someone else, then everyone would still be alive, I would still be alive. You would've only been in stasis for only months instead of three million years."

"I'm sorry are we interrupting?" Daniel looked startled at the fighting pair.

Rimmer walked off, through the wall into the water closet. He wanted to be alone and couldn't handle being around the others right now. It was moments like these he was tempted to ask Holly to turn him off. When existing was painful, but his self-preservation prevented him from asking for what would be a second death.

"Rimmer's an overprotective twat." Lister waddled over to the seat and sat down.

"You accused him of killing the crew," Sam mentioned.

"Well, he did. It was an accident, he had one job that day and he couldn't do it properly. But he can hardly ever do anything properly and everyone knew that. There used to be a saying on the ship about giving the worst jobs to Rimmer because he would never say no because he wanted to prove himself," Lister replied. "I didn't realise he felt so guilty about the accident." Lister started to cry. "I hate being pregnant. I got so angry just because he has over a month's worth of supplies. Now I can't stop crying."

"Everything is going to be fine," Sam patted his shoulder. "It's time to leave now."

Lister nodded, staying seated while Sam and Daniel did a final check before Sam flew the ship out. She'd also taken extra lessons in flying after Kryten was rescued and fixed. Once they were a safe distance from the location of the predicted black holes, Sam put the ship into autopilot.

- Red Dwarf -

Sam walked to the bathroom door.

"Are you alright in there Arnold?" She called out.

"Go away, I want to be alone!" He yelled back.

"If you need to talk, I'll listen," Sam replied.

"I don't need to talk to you," Rimmer insisted. "The one I need to talk to is Lister but he doesn't want to listen to me."

Sam looked back when she heard Lister waddling over and Daniel close behind him, but still nearby the drive room to keep an eye on things.

"Rimmer, I'm sorry for what I said. I'll listen to what you have to say," Lister called through the wall.

Rimmer walked through the wall. "I'm sorry as well. What I said was out of line. Can we go to the drive room and talk in private?"

Sam and Daniel both shared a smile and left the two to resolve their issues in private.

- SG-1 -

"What was that?" Sam yelled as Starbug was knocked off course.

Lister and Rimmer had only been gone for a few moments and hadn't even had a chance to talk yet. Daniel falling to a heap on the floor. Lister was sitting in the chair trying to pull Starbug back on course, away from the large ice planet they were racing towards them.

It only took several moments for Starbug to go crashing into the snow on the planet below them. They could see that Starbug was buried in snow.

"Large fireball came out of nowhere and hit us," Rimmer squeaked out.

"Is everyone alright?" Daniel asked them. "Sam?"

"Just a minor bump, I'll be fine," Sam assured her friend. "How are you?"

"I broke my glasses, and I hit my head rather hard. At the worst I may have a concussion," Daniel replied.

"Well I'm fine, not even a scratch," Dave announced. He stood up from his seat before groaning in pain and collapsing to his knees.

"What's wrong?" Rimmer hovered. "Are the babies alright?" The hologram was hyperventilating despite the fact he didn't need to breathe. His previous fight with Lister seemed to be forgotten for now.

"It's just my back, but I'm fine now." Lister stood back up with help from Sam and Daniel.

"I want to connect you up to the machines to check everything," Sam told Dave.

He waddled over to the seat at the back of Starbug while Sam and Daniel both organised the messed up supplies, separating the medical supplies out.

"It doesn't appear to have been damaged in the crash." Sam examined the equipment. "How are you feeling?"

"Fine, my back hurt again for a few moments, but has stopped again. I must have pinched a nerve," Dave replied with a shrug, not at all concerned.

Sam and Daniel shared a look.

"Dave, anytime you feel that pain I want you to tell Arnold. Arnold, can you keep track of the time?" Sam asked.

Rimmer paled at the suggestion and nodded. He had read all the books involving pregnancy and knew exactly what was currently going on. A holographic notepad and pen appearing in his hands. The only one that seemed clueless about what was going on was Dave.

Sam took a deep breath before taking Dave's temperature, heart rate and blood pressure. He was connected up to a machine that would report the babies' heart rates.

"Back hurt again," Dave told them. Arnold writing it down. "Do I really need to tell someone every time?"

Sam wrote down a heap of notes. "Yes. Everything seems fine for now with you and the babies. I need to check the status of the ship and see if I can get everything going again. Daniel, can you take over recording times for now. Arnold, can you show me where everything is."

Daniel had a way with people and Sam knew that he would be able to keep Dave calm if anything happened while she was outside.

Rimmer nodded.

- Red Dwarf -

From the cockpit they couldn't get the ship to turn back on. "We're going to need to leave the ship to check the engines. We have a breathable atmosphere. It's cold, so can only go out for a short while."

"Since the ship's power is out, I'm currently running on backup power which has reduced functionality. I cannot be projected on the outside of the ship by the ship's systems until the power is back on. If we had a projection unit I'd be able to leave, I cannot leave the ship without a projection unit. The projection unit is rather large and clunky to cart around, and it's on Blue Midget currently." Rimmer told her.

Sam nodded. She called Daniel over. "How far apart?" Sam asked.

"Every seven minutes," Daniel replied. "Hasn't changed yet. He hasn't realised what those pains are or that they are not happening randomly."

"The longer it stays that way the better. He needs to remain calm," Sam said.

"Arnold, can you take over the timing again? Daniel, I need your help outside the ship," Sam said to the boys.

- SG-1 -

The two scientists of SG-1 left the ship, finding it partially buried in snow. A snowstorm was blowing, covering the ship even more.

"This is no good," Daniel sighed.

"We've been in worse situations before," Sam reminded him.

"We've never had to deliver a baby via caesarian before." Daniel reminded her. "Not to mention we have no medical facilities, very little medical training, no power and it's in the middle of a snow storm. The only good thing is my allergies have cleared up."

"Hopefully Jack and Teal'c find us before then." Sam sighed as they got to work on attempting to dig Starbug out of the snow.

"We still have nine hours till we are meant to meet up with them. They won't know that we've run into problems till then," Daniel pointed out.

"I know." Sam sighed again. "Until then we do our best to help ourselves. We've been in worse situations, we'll manage."

- Red Dwarf -

"Any luck?" Rimmer asked the scientist when they returned.

"None, with freeing us she's buried good," Sam replied. "I did find the circuit responsible for power, I repaired the circuit and we have uncovered the solar panels for now. I am so grateful for fuses, boards and wires. So much easier to fix then the crystal systems of most the alien ships we've come across. Considering the snowstorm outside it won't take long to cover them again and they won't be getting much sunlight. I'm going to try and turn her on. Hopefully we don't have any other power issues I'm not aware of."

Rimmer left Daniel with Dave.

"No change with Dave, still seven minutes apart," Rimmer told her. "He still doesn't have a clue he's gone into labour."

Sam nodded. Rimmer instructed her on how to start up the ship. The power flickered on, the heating system kicked in, but they couldn't move the ship, she was stuck in the ice.

"Daniel and I need rest after going outside before we do anything," Sam told Rimmer. "Those babies are going to be born on the ship. I don't feel comfortable with waiting now that he is in labour."

Rimmer was pale in the face but nodded. Sam found it fascinating that despite not having blood, his projection image acted just like he did. He really was just like a living person, it was hard to remember that he was just a holographic representation, a digital ghost.

- SG1-

"Dave, how about you move to the drive room. I'm sure the chair will be more comfortable in there. Call out if you need anything," Sam instructed him. They'd waited until his last lot of pain and helped him move to the drive room. "You just rest; you and the baby need it at the moment."

Lister nodded and dug into a curry that had been prepared earlier. Once Lister was occupied Sam and Daniel got to work cleaning up the supplies, setting up a makeshift theatre and sterilising everything.

"Maybe we should become real doctors, Doctor Carter." Daniel teased. "This'll make the second baby we have delivered together."

"We are real doctors, just not medical doctors. I can see what you mean. It would be nice to have further medical training, especially when we're on missions," Sam agreed.

"Arnold, you're in charge of reading Dave's vitals. Do you think you can handle that?" Sam asked.

Rimmer nodded looking rather nervous. "I'm going to check on Lister."

Sam and Daniel nodded. The two scientists continued to revise what was happening.

Rimmer had his projection to the lowest setting before he walked through the wall. Observing Dave unnoticed. That was one of the advantages of being a hologram, he didn't need to use doors, and was silent when he needed to be and could be almost invisible.

He could see the sweat beading off Lister's face. Lister clenched up for a few moments, swearing more frequently than normal, and stronger swear words then Lister's usual choice words.

"Oh smeg, why now?" Lister cried out. "This is all your Uncle Arnie's fault," Lister said to his stomach. "He's the one who told you to be born on Starbug. You should listen to me! I'm your mum after all. You need to wait to be born on Red Dwarf on your due date. You two had to go prove him right, that smug twat." Lister cried out again in pain.

Rimmer had himself turned him visible again.

"Everything alright in here Lister?" Rimmer asked, pretending that he only just arrived.

"Yeah, just fine," Lister lied to him.

Rimmer frowned and said nothing, he just stood and observed. Lister could keep a straight face as he cried out in pain once again.

"That was nothing, I'm fine," Lister panted once the pain subsided.

"Don't lie, I know you're not fine," Rimmer replied. "How long have you known that you're in labour?"

"Since Daniel and Sam went outside. I didn't say anything because I didn't want you to worry. Plus I was hoping that it was fake contractions," Lister explained. "I don't want to have this baby naturally. Rimmer, I'm scared. I don't even know what naturally is since I'm from this dimension and not the same as from the other dimension."

"You're allowed to be scared, but you're not doing this alone. It's not just the two of us anymore. Sam and Daniel are here and a lot more competent than the two of us are. If anyone can deliver a baby by caesarian without previous medical training, it is those two." Rimmer comforted his friend. "They are going to do a lot better job than the scutters I was trying to train."

"Rimmer, thanks for always being there, and trying to help in your own annoying way. As much as I miss Petersen, Chen and Selby, I don't think I would've got through this with them. They'd just tease me constantly about being pregnant and then would spend the rest of the time drunk and laying about, being no help at all. Sure you teased me, but you were helping me even when I was still in denial when I didn't even think I needed help." Lister said. "I think we need to start this now if I'm going to avoid having the baby naturally. I read the book that you got from Arleen, the babies in that universe come out the...well you know, you read the book."

"One place a baby should not come out." Rimmer nodded. "Do you think you can stand?"

Lister nodded, waddling his way towards the door. Having to stop when he was hit by another contraction. Daniel and Sam were both dressed in scrubs when they returned.

"The contractions are a lot closer together now," Rimmer informed them, wishing that he could be more help.

"Dave, are you alright?" Daniel asked.

"Just fine," Lister replied. "Don't you hate that children have a mind of their own when it comes to being born. These tykes want to see the world now."

Daniel helped Dave to the makeshift area they'd set up for his caesarian. Sam helped him out of his restrictive clothing.

"I never imagined a woman would be undressing me like this. It's not sexy at all," Lister complained.

"Practice for when you end up in a nursing home," Rimmer commented. "By that time you will be unable to dress and clothe yourself and will need to be dressed and undressed by the nurses much like this."

Lister chuckled. "Where are we going to find a nursing home in deep space?"

"You want to go back to Earth don't you? Maybe our highly evolved life forms on the planet will be looking after you. If not, I am sure that I can train to scutters to be nursemaids," Rimmer replied.

Lister was connected to the monitoring equipment, given some painkillers. Sam used the ultrasound machine to confirm where the twins were currently sitting before making her first incision.

Rimmer kept up his banter with Lister while Sam and Daniel did their thing.

"Maybe Kryten can be your nursemaid," Rimmer suggested. "If the scutters can't do it. He's been doting over you ever since you fixed him. I'm sure he'd be all too happy to change your nappy and keep you feed."

"What about you?" Lister asked. "What will you be doing?"

"I'm hoping that I haven't gone senile by that point, it can happen you know," Rimmer told him. "Holograms going mad watching the people around them that they love grow old and dying around them. Knowing that only a select few will become holograms. Always staying the same, not changing in any way. You can relax to know that I will be around to watch your children grow up and your grandchildren and so on."

"I don't think that is a relaxing thought," Lister laughed. "Besides I have two boys, we have not come across any women besides Sam. Who are they going to have children with?"

"Well, they come from two dimensions; maybe they will be able to have children both ways. The normal way and the way for that dimension," Rimmer suggested. "Plus I have made significant progress with my cloning experiment."

"You're still trying to clone a new body for yourself? It's not going to work Rimmer." Lister told him.

"I'm not going to give up yet, it is still early days," Rimmer replied.

"Rimmer, you need to learn when to give up and move onto something new. You've been trying and failing the engineering exam for years now. You need to find what you are good at instead of getting nowhere, because what you are trying isn't working."

"You need to take your own advice with the guitar. It's obviously now working for you because you haven't improved at all. Or another suggestion is to actually practice."

"Hey, you complain whenever I try to practice."

"Yes, because you are disturbing me," Rimmer replied. "You need to go practice in private, away from everyone else so you are not disturbing anyone like I do with my hobbies. It's a large ship, you have many places on the ship that you can practice your music and yet you insist on being around me when you do."

They stayed silent for several moments, watching Daniel and Sam work together in silence. It was easy to see how close the two scientists were as they worked and how they were able to communicate nonverbally.

"Vitals are still good," Rimmer announced to Daniel and Sam. "How are you feeling?" Rimmer asked.

"Considering I have two people cutting open my belly, I actually feel rather good," Lister replied.

"So you can't feel any pain?" Rimmer asked.

"Oh I feel pain, but you've been distracting me from it. Thanks, Rimmer," Lister replied. "I can't believe that today is the day that I meet my two boys."

"Still naming them James and Bexley?" Rimmer asked.

"It's Jim, not James," Lister replied.

"It should be James, just like your name is David even though you get called Dave," Rimmer told him.

"Are you really giving me a lecture about what I should call my kids?" Lister asked.

"Of course. Jim is a good nickname but if Jim is his name, you can't really shorten it to anything like with Bexley you can shorten it to Bex." Rimmer told him. "Whenever you were in trouble with your grandma, what did she call you?"

"She used to say my full name and drag it out. I used to be able to gauge how much trouble I was in by timing how she said my name." Lister replied.

"Doesn't a part of you want to do that with your sons?" Rimmer asked. "I always wanted to name a son after myself. Arnold Jonathan Junior. Not going to happen now of course, me being dead and all gets in the way of that plan."

"Your middle name is Judas, you only tell everyone it's Jonathan." Lister pointed out.

"Because I hate my middle name, which is why his middle name would be Jonathan," Rimmer replied. "Like I said, not going to happen."

Both stopped talking as they heard the scream of Lister's first born son. The sticky mess had a full head of hair.

"Do you think you can hold him?" Sam asked.

Lister held out his arms and took the small sticky baby, holding him close. Only moments later he was handed the second baby.

Daniel and Sam continued work on stitching Lister back up.

"So tiny," Lister commented as he held the boys' hands.

"Jim, Bexley. I'm your well technically I'm your mother because I'm the one who gave birth to you but I'm your dad. This is your Uncle Arnie. He's an obnoxious, worry wart of a prat, but you have to remember he's only looking out for you both like I am. We will do everything we can so that future echo your Uncle Arnie saw doesn't come true. You are both going to be healthy and strong and live long lives. I know it's hard to believe since you've only been here in this crazy world for a few minutes."

Daniel snapped a photo of Dave, the twins and Arnold, neither man noticed. Both still glancing over the children.