Title: Absence Makes the Heart Grow Fonder 7/17
Author: EdieZee
Rating: PG-13, possibly R later
Based on: TV series
Relationships: Damon/Elena
Disclaimers: I do not own anything. If I did, she would have chosen Damon.
Summary: As promised, Damon leaves town after Elena chooses Stefan.
Chapter 7
"Hope's a bitch, Sage. Get out while you can." – Damon, "Break on Through" (3x17)
"Follow love and it will flee; flee love and it will follow thee." – John Gay
Damon turned and walked to his waiting car. It was time to put some distance between himself and Mystic Falls.
Damon had every intention of going north when he left town – to New York or Chicago or some other large city where he could disappear among the masses for a little while. But Alaric was still on his mind when he started driving and somehow he ended up halfway to North Carolina before he even realized it. With a shrug of his shoulders, he decided to keep driving. After almost 172 years, he had learned that sometimes it was better to follow your instincts.
Even though it had been a long time, he easily found the house where he had turned Isobel. Looking back now, he realized that he should have known something was different about her. At the time, he had figured she was just one of those girls seduced by the idea of vampires, unaware of what she was really asking for. He should have said no, but he had been seduced too: by the feeling that her hero-worship of him inspired, by the power of it, by the brief respite it gave him from the eternity of waiting and hating and longing for something he could no longer have – the longing to be someone he no longer was.
For what he had done to Alaric, to Elena, he regretted it. But he couldn't bring himself to regret it completely. If he hadn't done it, he wouldn't have had Alaric in his life, and Alaric wouldn't have had Jenna in his…
Parked across the street, Damon watched the empty house for awhile, thinking back to the night of the bachelor auction. He had been such a dick to Alaric that night; it was amazing that they had ever become friends. Smiling wryly, he grabbed a bottle from the seat next to him, twisted the cap off, saluted the house with it, and took a long drink.
Clearing his throat, Damon started the car and drove toward the Duke campus. He figured that, while he was there, he may as well take care of some business he should have the last time he was in town. It was near the middle of the day, so there was a chance that people would be there, but the only one he really had to worry about was Vanessa.
Making his way to Isobel's old office, he tried hard not to think about when he was here with Ric and Elena, how she had used him and his guilt to manipulate him into helping, how he had tried to apologize with the information about Katherine's real name, how her words later that evening about how he had lost her forever cut him deeply. He clenched his jaw and pushed those memories out of his head. He was here to take care of business. Nothing else.
Stopping outside the door, he listened for a moment. When he heard nothing, he twisted the doorknob hard, breaking the lock and opening it. He slipped inside, closed the door and moved methodically around the room, grabbing all of the books and other documents that did or might mention him, Stefan or Katherine. The fact that Vanessa knew who he was and had recognized him didn't sit well with him. The fewer people who had access to the dark secrets of Mystic Falls, the better. Dumping the contents of one of the storage boxes in the office, Damon put all of the books and documents into it and put the box under his arm. He slipped out of the room noiselessly, closing the door again.
He put the box in his trunk, next to his one bag of belongings. He was just closing the trunk when he heard someone call out his name. Whipping around, he prepared himself for a fight only to slowly let down his guard when he saw it was Vanessa. She walked toward him, and he smirked at the apprehension in her eyes. He crossed his arms and leaned against his trunk, waiting for her to come to him. When she got close enough to speak privately, she glanced around for eavesdroppers, even though the other students were hurrying past them without paying any attention to them.
"I should warn you," she whispered hoarsely. "I drink vervain every day now."
He leaned forward slightly and stage-whispered back. "I should warn you, vervain wouldn't stop me from snapping your neck." She took an involuntary step back and he chuckled. "But I'm not going to. Today."
"What are you doing here, Damon?" She said in her regular voice, annoyance replacing the fear.
"I missed you!"
Vanessa gave him an exasperated look, and he smiled in response. Standing up straight, he walked from his trunk to the driver's door. "Don't worry, Vanessa. I'm just passing through."
"How's Alaric?" Her question made him freeze, his hand on the door handle. He was glad his back was to her, so she couldn't see his pained reaction. Schooling his face into a passive expression, he turned toward her and bluntly told her that he was dead.
"What?! What happened?"
Damon shrugged. "Life."
"You really are a jackass, aren't you?"
He is very capable of being a first-rate jackass… Damon wondered if there would ever be a time when he wouldn't hear Elena's voice in his head. Smiling tightly, he put on his sunglasses and opened the car door. "No need to cry about things you can't change, Vanessa. People die."
She scoffed, shook her head and turned to walk away. He grabbed her arm and pulled her close, growling into her ear, "Tell anyone I was here and I will come back here and rip out your heart faster than you can even blink." He pushed her away from him roughly, slid into the car and drove away without looking back.
Sometimes it was easier being a jackass.
Damon turned his head slightly to stare out his open window, watching the countryside go past as he drove toward Bree's bar. Somehow the drive that was supposed to take him away from Elena had instead turned into a trip down memory lane. It just…made sense to go there next, after leaving Duke.
He walked into the bar, which was full but not crowded. He recognized a few of the patrons as having been there that day, but they didn't give him a second glance. A guy in his twenties was behind the bar, a towel tossed over his shoulder and a toothpick hanging out of mouth. It was strange to see someone other than Bree behind the bar. A pang of regret went through him, and he berated himself for his rash behavior. His temper had gotten the best of him – not for the first or the last time. But, just like everything else, he couldn't take it back.
He ordered a drink and sat down, hunching over the table and glancing at the other drinkers out of the corner of his eye. He knocked back the shot, making a face at the burn of the alcohol as it went down his throat. Damon put the shot glass back down on the counter, smiling at the memory of Elena actually having a good time for a change. It had been eye-opening to see her like that, away from Stefan and all the drama. When he had first taken her with him after finding her in the road, it had merely been to mess with Stefan and to alleviate his own boredom. But, except for the whole…unpleasantness with Bree and Lexi's boyfriend, it had actually turned out to be one of his favorite days. He had felt like, for the first time since they met that night on the highway, he was finally seeing the true Elena.
"Fancy seeing you here," the familiar voice pulled him out of his memories. Damon turned slightly in his chair while simultaneously leaning slightly away from the newcomer. He hid his spark of concern behind a charming smile.
"Lee, buddy, how are you?"
The other man glared at him, then took a sip from his bottle of beer. "Don't piss me off, man. I could still kill you for what you did to Lexi."
Damon nodded slightly, turning back to stare forward at his hands on the counter. He played with his ring, twisting it back and forth at the knuckle. "You're right," he said softly, half-smiling at the irony. "I didn't have to kill her. I do a lot of things that I don't have to do."
Lee snorted. "That was weak."
"You have no idea."
The two vampires sat in silence for a while. Lee continued to regularly take drinks from his beer but, for the first time in a long time, Damon didn't really feel like ordering another drink. He faced forward, staring into the space ahead of him. Finally, Lee spoke again, pulling Damon's attention back to him.
"So, where's your girlfriend?"
"Elena? Not my girlfriend."
"Yeah, because random people beg for my life all the time, too."
Damon didn't say anything in response for a long time. He stood, knowing it was time to move on – that he couldn't find answers here, just like he couldn't find them at Duke. He was wrong to come here; he no longer understood why it had made sense to him.
Pulling a couple of bills out of his wallet, he tossed them down on the counter, buying his drink as well as Lee's. "She's back where she belongs. Back with the guy she belongs with."
Lee scrunched his face up in confusion. "So you're leaving – not even putting up a fight?"
Damon shrugged. "I'm done fighting." He walked toward the door and was almost there when Lee's voice called out to him. Turning around, he waited until Lee walked up to him.
"Listen, man, the only reason I'm saying this to you is because Lexi once told me about you. She said that bitterness and anger were eating you up inside, but that she could tell how much you loved your brother, even when you hated him. She said there was good in you, buried deep." Lee scoffed, "I doubt she'd think so now, after what you did to her."
Damon averted his eyes, not wanting to think about Lexi. Or Stefan, for that matter. And certainly not wanting to think about the other person who had seen good in him.
"But, anyway, here it is. When Elena was begging for your life, she said something that really stuck with me. She said that Lexi told her, 'when it's real, you can't walk away.'"
"Well," Damon responded flatly, finally looking back at Lee. "Lexi Branson was wrong about something. Guess she wasn't perfect."
Despite his retort to Lee, Damon couldn't get those words out of his head. They played over and over again, tempting him to turn the car around and go back to Mystic Falls.
It was real – and not just for him. He had to believe that it wasn't just him who had felt it. She had kissed him; she had told him she cared about him; she had looked at him with those expressive eyes that couldn't hide anything from him…
He could go back. He could turn around and drive to her and fightfor her again. He could constantly be around, reminding her that he was there too. That he wasn't going anywhere and he wasn't going to mess it up this time. If she wanted to choose Stefan, she could. But he didn't have to make it so easy for her!
Damon tensed his arms, physically restraining himself from turning the wheel back toward Mystic Falls. Who was he kidding? He couldn't go back. He had promised Stefan. He had promised himself. It was the least he could do, after all the trouble he had caused them. And besides, even if he did go back, it would only be to watch Elena and Stefan live happily ever after. She chose Stefan.
She would always choose Stefan.
He had to stop hoping that she would choose differently. Hope had made him a fool these last couple months, as he had waited for her to realize that she loved him too…loved him the most, even. Hope was a dangerous thing; the hope that he could win Katherine's love and, later, that he could rescue her from her fate, had destroyed his relationship with Stefan for over a century. More than that, it had made him bitter and cruel and had wasted all of that time.
No, he couldn't hope anymore. Elena would never be his. It was time to stop hoping and start moving forward to a new life – one without Katherine, without Stefan.
Without Elena.
And to do that, he needed to stop going to places where he would be reminded of her.
Thanks for all the comments/ feedback! I really appreciate it; they always make me smile.
For those of you who are speculating that the woman is Katherine, I'm sorry to disappoint, but she is not Katherine. Don't worry, though – she's not your "typical" OC.
