The Sleeping Lyrical
Written by:
Lone Wolf NEO
Conceived by: Lone Wolf NEO

Author's note: this is an AU (alternate universe) Magical Girl Lyrical Nanoha fan fiction that parodies one of the most famous fairy tales in the world. It might also parody some other works. Original characters are subjected to copyright under the watchful eyes of the author.

Note: this event takes place before Magical Lyrical Nanoha StrikerS anime. All events that lead to the series are only the author's speculation.

Chapter 7
Grand Finale

Hayate: "in the previous instalment of The Sleeping Lyrical, we saw how awesome Princess Fate was--"

A flashback of Fate in Haruhara Haruko costume owning Yellow Submarine customers with her modified Flying V guitar was displayed on the HD screen. Fan boys and music lovers whistled for Fate, and hollered even more as she started playing Sweet Child of Mine onscreen.

"--and how Evil Witch Chrono Haraoun devised her plan to conquer the world."

The replay was replaced by another flashback scene of Chrono in Gothic outfit, laughing maniacally as he declared his plan for vengeance against the kingdom of Mid-Childa. Fan girls squealed in excitement and sighed in pleasure. Fan boys pointed to fan girls and demanded them to drop dead. Fan girls revived and counteracted with pillow tosses. Fan boys retaliated and another edition of "Fan Combat: Fires of Argument" took place.

Backstage, Chrono complained to Amy regarding the hate/love relationship fan boys and fan girls were having. "Don't worry, Chrono," Amy assured. "I'm very certain someone will jump in and send them flying high."

True enough, Sol Badguy returned from his absence and obliterated fan hordes with Tyrant Rave Beta. He turned to the camera, threw a thumb's down and said, "You're an eyesore."

"See? I've told you," Amy said.

"Now, ladies and gentlemen, to continue with the story, it has been 100 years since Princess Fate was put to sleep--"

Yet another flashback scene of the Fairy Godmothers putting everyone in the kingdom to sleep took place. Everyone watched in anticipation while some of the male audience whispered to each other on Shamal. Sol glared at them and flipped a middle finger to them, as if saying "shut up." The audience immediately silenced themselves in fear.

"--and the kingdom was now covered in forest."

At the cue word forest prop crews scrambled on the stage, putting all forms of trees and bushes around the vicinity. Even extra characters dressed up like trees came out and took their position.

Then the hall became pitch dark. For a while, everyone was caught in complete chaos, even as yells and boos and meows filled in. Some even took advantage by proceeding with "naughty stuffs" and already cries like "IYAA!" and "pervert!" and "NOSEBLEED!" took over.

"It was thought that the princess and the kingdom would sleep forever, until…"

Otona ni natte mo, wasurenai
My love… meguri aeta hi o…

"Until he arrived. Or I should say -- she? Yes, everyone, meet Takamachi Nanoha."

The chaos stopped. Coming out of the front door was Nanoha, in all her glories and pride as the ace of the TSAB. Her appearance was no surprising: she opted to wear her Barrier Jacket instead, despite Hayate's recommendation for "something more exotic." The only difference was she was carrying the modified EB-0 instead of Raising Heart. On her left arm was an armband with the word "rock you" printed upon it; anyone who noticed it later glanced at Sol who gave them the look of "I don't want to have anything with it."

On her right shoulder was Shamisen, lazily yawning and clinging on her Barrier Jacket. Imotou was later heard asking, "what is Shami doing down there?" when she looked down the VIP seat.

Nanoha looked at the audience. Inexplicably 95 of them backed off. Somehow, the very sight of Nanoha in Barrier Jacket alone -- I repeat, ALONE -- was more than enough to remind people never to look for trouble with her.

"What was the response supposed to mean?" Nanoha demanded.

"I believe they are intimidated with the moniker 'Demon Queen' you carry around, Master," EB-0 suggested.

Silence. Everyone looked at the EB-0 for a very long time. Then, all in a sudden, "RAISING HEART FINALLY TALKS??!?!?!" they shouted.

"Fuck you all."

Sol Badguy incinerated 75 of audience with Savage Fang.

Hayate: "Mister Badguy, the children are watching."

"What?!" He looked at the group of Mikuru/Imotou/Tsuruya/Naota. He grumbled in defeat. "Why it has to be me?"

Nanoha shrugged. "Oh, well." She ignored the commotion and headed to the stage. She looked around, nodded and put down the guitar. "So this is the kingdom of Mid-Childa," she began her dialogue. "I wonder if we arrive at the right time."

"You indeed are, Chosen One."

"Who's there?" Nanoha looked around, but saw no one. "That's strange. I thought I heard voice."

The Fairy Godmothers appeared. They approached Nanoha from onstage. "Princess Nanoha of Planet Earth, your arrival has been awaited for hundreds of years," Reinforce Original spoke. "You are destined to break the curse that envelops this kingdom. Only you have the power to restore peace of this land."

Nanoha stared at Reinforce Original. Then she glanced at Reinforce Zwei. "Time paradox!" she shouted. "Two beings with identical properties cannot exist in the same dimension!"

"What the hell are you mumbling?" Vita demanded.

Nanoha laughed silly. "Gomen, gomen. I thought it'd look weird to have Reinforce and Rein-chan at the same time," she said. "Unless if we follow the 4koma."

Silence. Neither the Fairy Godmothers nor Nanoha said anything. Reinforce Zwei shivered at the disturbing quietness. Even the audience gasped at the disturbing stillness.

"I don't get you," Reinforce Original replied.

"After listening to the tragic faith of Princess Fate 100 years ago, our hero finally understood her task."

"Okay." Nanoha clenched her fist and nodded thoughtfully. "So what I simply have to do is to break the curse of the Evil Witch and wake the princess from her 100-year sleep. Sounds easy."

"You must not underestimate the evil witch, Princess Nanoha," Reinforce Original reminded. "She has been known to send those who oppose her will to the deepest pit of the underworld. You must remember that."

"I see. By the way, Reinforce."

"Yes?"

"You're supposed to be a fairy, right?" Nanoha pointed to the maid costume Reinforce Original was donning. "Then what's up with that?"

Reinforce Original sighed. With a sad face, she said: "Master Hayate told me wearing this is a must, otherwise…"

"Otherwise?"

// flashback //

"Now, Reinforce," Hayate said as she held the black/white maid uniform with ribbons, "you must wear this for the stage play."

Reinforce Original stared at the uniform. "I prefer wearing this costume instead," she stated and referred to the fairy costume. "That uniform doesn't suit the overall mood of the stage play."

Hayate grinned. Just grinned. "You must wear it, Reinforce," she said. "Because your master said so."

Reinforce Original tried reasoning with Hayate. "But Master…"

"No but. Okay?"

Reinforce Original could only sigh. She took the costume and headed to the changing room. "Yes, Master…"

// flashback //

"Poor Reinforce Original," one audience whispered.

"I pity her," his friend nodded. "I understand her situation, having to live under her master's endless demands." (Hayate twitched when she heard the statement.)

"It's kind of sad to have to obey someone when you aren't given the chance to speak out your mind, isn't it?" the audience asked. (Again, Hayate twitched. This time, a medium-sized vein popped on her forehead.)

"Yes, yes. That is correct," his friend agreed.

The two of them inexplicably jumped onto their chair. Arms wide open, they shouted aloud: "Come to our arms, Reinforce Original! Your pain is our pain! Allow us to become your sword and shield!"

Raising Heart buzzed. "Threat detected." It fired Accel Shooter at the audiences and killed them instantly. "Threat eliminated."

Nanoha glanced at her Intelligent Device. "Raising Heart, you don't have to do that," she grumbled.

"Don't worry, I know what I am doing," Raising Heart insisted.

"Nanoha, are you ready to take on the challenge?" Shamal asked.

Nanoha nodded. She lifted the EB-0. "I am ready."

"Well, then." Shamal looked at her fellows. Reinforce Original, Vita and Signum looked back at her. They nodded in unison. "Takamachi Nanoha, we're opening the route to the palace. Please be careful, for the forest is infested with monsters." So saying Shamal swung her magic wand, and the 'forest' magically split apart, revealing a route that lead to the 'palace' on the wall.

"The power is in your hand, Princess Nanoha," Signum spoke. "Only you have the strength to defeat the evil witch and save the kingdom."

"I don't have anything to say," Vita shrugged. "But good luck."

Hayate: "After bidding farewell to the fairy godmothers, our hero began her journey. She navigated through the lone path that led to the palace."

The stage was reset. This time, it showed the interior of the 'forest', with various mechanical beasts and puppets prowling about. Nanoha easily ignored them and continued her trip to the castle; occasionally she would stop only to send the props to junkyard with her EB-0 before she proceeded with her journey.

"You know, I can't help thinking that Nanoha can become the future rock queen," Hayate spoke.

"What are you going to do, then?" Chrono asked over the intercom.

Hayate looked at Nanoha. She suddenly cackled. "As a matter of fact," she replied. "I already have a brilliant plan for the upcoming battle."

"Hayate, don't," Chrono retorted.

"After overcoming the challenge of the forest, our hero finally arrived at the palace."

Nanoha's journey came to an end. She looked up at the makeshift castle. "Well, if this is indeed the place, then…" She walked around the structure as to find entrance door, but didn't find any. She even looked up to look for entrance from the above, but the castle was sealed from outside world. "That's weird."

"There is nothing weird, master," Raising Heart spoke. "If we cannot find the door, we'll just make one."

Nanoha glanced at her Intelligence Device. "Raising Heart, are you sneaking on TV show without my permission again?" she demanded.

"I never intend to ask for your permission in the first place anyway, master," Raising Heart replied in a mocking tone.

"You're a cynic," Nanoha replied.

"Suddenly…"

The entire stage was rumbling. Nanoha lost balance at first before she kept herself steady. Smokes came out of the ventilation and enveloped the props. Again, all cameras were directed at the entrance door. There was, like the last time, a grand entry to the hall as Chrono stepped into the hall and approached the stage.

As predicted, fan girls revived from their death and squealed over Loli-Goth Chrono. As predicted, too, fan boys returned from their demise and demanded for punk rock Fate instead. Fan girls protested and starts quarrelling with fan boys. Just before Chrono could freeze them with Durandal, Raising Heart already gave the fans a kiss-the-stage-goodbye with Excelion Buster.

"Threat eliminated," the Intelligent Device announced.

"Looks like you don't have much screen time, eh Chrono?" sarcastically Yuuno asked over the PA.

"Shut up, Yuuno," Chrono growled.

"Evil Witch Chrono Haraoun has returned! Looks like she isn't happy to see someone coming to break the curse."

Ignoring the cuss and cries of disapproval from people, Chrono approached the stage and pointed his magic wand to Nanoha. "So, you're here to break the curse of the sleeping beauty, eh?" he questioned. "I am afraid that will take more than mere strength."

"I don't know what your problem with the kingdom is, evil witch," Nanoha replied. "But my task is clear. I must save the princess."

Chrono wagged a finger. "You know, my lady, how can you possibly beat me and my entire army," he said and snapped his fingers; in an instant AMF machines appeared from nowhere and surrounded the stage. "When all you have with you is your puny guitar?"

"Hey! How dare you making fun of my guitar!" Nanoha cried out.

Chrono ignored her and pointed to the protagonist. "As the great evil witch of this land, I, Chrono Haraoun, shall not allow anyone to put an end to my curse! AMF! GO!"

Instantly the AMF machines charged at Nanoha. Nimbly she jumped over the charging tackles and counterattacked with Divine Shooters. She knocked out three of the machines and evaded another tackle before sending the machine high to the sky with her EB-0. Yet more and more machines appeared, and the TSAB ace was cornered.

"Uh-oh. Looks like our hero is trapped. What is she going to do?"

Chrono laughed. "Too bad, my lady! No one is here to save the day!" he declared. "Not even your guitar, not even your fairy godmothers!" At the same time the AMF machines grew tentacles and all of them were slowly approaching Nanoha. "My will is absolute! Behold!"

Nanoha glared at the machines. "Tentacles… this is getting too much."

"NO! Not those tentacles!" an audience screamed.

"Quick! Cover the children's eyes!" another audience commanded.

"IYAA! HENTAI!" female audience cried out.

"Have no worry, everyone. Our hero has tricks up her sleeves."

She looked down at Raising Heart. "Raising Heart."

"Yes, master."

"Are you ready?"

"Yes, master."

"Lyrical, Magical!"

Hayate: "It's time for…"

The transformation began. Compartments of nano-machines materialized from thin air and attached onto the EB-0. A 10-clip magazine also materialized and installed just underneath the headstock. The headstock itself transformed into a bayonet that housed Raising Heart. And this time…

"Standby, Ready."

It came complete with a sticker that read…

"GUITAR BATTLE!!!!!!"

In an instant Nanoha played the intro chord of Fury of the Storm. Moments later, the reluctant Chrono took out what looked like a Yamaha-branded synthesizer and imitated the intro chord with equal perfection. As the song built up, so did the guitar/synthesizer battle and people couldn't make comparison on who was better.

"20 bucks Chrono would lose the duel," an audience.

"I'd say 100 bucks Nanoha will kick the crap out of Chrono," his friend suggested.

"Hey, who cares? Let's rock!"

As some of the audience started head-banging to the song, the intensity of Nanoha's guitar play and Chrono's synthesizer solo became more apparent. Already the two battlers were exhausted by the extreme riffs, and yet they refused to give in.

Then came the hardest part: the song's 167.3 seconds of instrumental.

Hayate: "Looks like both of them are equal. People can't make a guess on who is better. Even I am baffled by their expertise. Rock on!"

Nanoha grew tired. The guitar battle was too much for her. Her hands began to cram. Her fingers could not continue plucking the strings. Her opponent saw the situation and laughed. "You're losing the battle, Nanoha!" Chrono shouted and took over the stage. Not taking care of audience who started booing at him, he continued the instrumental piece and played the riff as violently on the synthesizer as he could. "I'm so going to win this!"

"It seemed Nanoha is doomed to fail her mission, until…"

"RAISING HEART! NOW!"

"Acknowledge."

Raising Heart switched form, and so did the EB-0. The transformation was brief, and when it ended so did Fury of the Storm. Chrono was perplexed by the abrupt end of the song, and was even more intrigued when the stage became dead silent.

A piece of spotlight shone Nanoha from above. She had accessed Raising Heart's Excelion Mode, and she was standing idly on the stage. Everybody held their breath. Even the crews waited in anticipation.

Then she began.

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away
Now it looks as though they're here to stay
Oh, I believe in yesterday…

It was a complete surprise! Instead of rocking hard music, Takamachi Nanoha chose to play ballad! And it was from The Beatles, on top of that!

Suddenly, I'm not half the man I used to be
There's a shadow hanging over me
Oh, yesterday, Came suddenly…

Chrono found himself unable to imitate the song. His fingers suddenly crammed. The AMF machines mysteriously malfunctioned. The synthesizer inexplicably broke down. "No! This cannot be happening!" he shouted.

Why she had to go I don't know
She wouldn't say…
I said something wrong now I long
For yesterday…

Nanoha ignored the commotion on Chrono's side. She continued, not only playing the guitar, but also singing the song. In spite of her Engrish, she sang it so perfectly even audience followed her suit. Some even took out lighters and waved them in the air.

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe in yesterday…

Chrono cringed. The song was too much for him to handle. He fell on the floor, shivering in absolute pain. He was not used to slow rock song, and this song as the epitome of his pain. "Must… not… give in…" he gasped. "Must… not lose…"

Why she had to go I don't know
She wouldn't say…
I said, something wrong now I long
For yesterday…

Yesterday, love was such an easy game to play
Now I need a place to hide away
Oh, I believe, in yesterday…

The song ended with a hum that followed the tune of "I believe in yesterday…" Nanoha ended the song and looked at the audience. In an instant everybody gave her a standing ovation and clapped loudly.

"What a performance. But there is no time to lose. Our hero still needs to break the curse."

Nanoha took no attention of the comatose Chrono. She looked at the makeshift castle. It mysteriously deconstructed and revealed the emperor-sized bed. On the bed was Fate in full princess dress and she was… sleeping?

"That must be Princess Fate."

She deactivated Raising Heart. She approached the bed. Slowly, as not to awaken her. She stared at her friend's sleeping face and could not help giggle. "Well, I didn't know Fate-chan looks cute when she's sleeping," she chuckled. (Fate silently blushed at the comment.)

"Now comes the moment of truth."

Nanoha coughed. She took a deep heave of air. She put a hand on her chest. She nodded. "Here goes nothing." She closed her eyes, bent down and approached Fate's face. Her heart pounding wildly, she knew she had to do what the scripts said. Even Fate realized the truth (and already audience gaped in excitement at the "break the curse" scene), but there was no turning back for them as they prepared to seal their moist lips…

"Meow."

Mysteriously Shamisen jumped off Nanoha's shoulder and landed on Fate's chest. It gave her a playful nudge on the nose before licked her lips. Fate was startled and immediately got up from the bed. "What was that for?!" she cried out.

Nanoha stared at Shamisen. The cat just smiled and purred innocently. Audience started booing at the cat and proceeded to toss rotten vegetables to the stage. Frantically Hayate and Reinforce Zwei tried to control the situation, shouting for help from security department.

"Well," Nanoha shrugged and sat beside Fate, "at least we didn't have to do the final scene, right Fate-chan?"

Fate childishly giggled. She picked up Shamisen and gave it an affectionate scratch on its chin. "And it's Shamisen who stole the light from us," she joked. Shamisen merely meowed and nuzzled its nose against Fate's chest, burying its face beneath her cleavage. "Iyaa! Bad kitty!" she moaned and playfully slapped Shamisen on the head.

Fan boys suddenly jumped in and roared in approval at Shamisen. "We wish we were Shamisen!" they shouted.

Vita killed fan boys with Raketen Hammer.

x-x-x-x-x

"And so the sleeping beauty had awakened. Princess Nanoha of Planet Earth had, in turn, saved the kingdom from the curse of the evil witch. Princess Fate and Princess Nanoha became friends afterwards, and frequently exchanged video letters with each other."

"KILL THE FREAKING FURRY!" a dismayed audience cried out before he was sent to smithereens by Sol's Tyrant Rave Alpha.

"I don't want to have anything with it," he declared and headed to the exit door. "Now how is Kagura doing, by the way…?"

"And so this concludes this stage play. We highly thank everyone for participating in this play. We look forward to see you again in our next activity. Until next time!"

At the cue word, Guilty Gear X2's arcade ending theme Till Next Time played on the PA system. All the crews and actors gathered on the stage and bowed to the audience. They received massive applauses from the people, and were even showered by flowers (with the exception of Chrono who, instead, received a good splat on his face when a blueberry pie was tossed at him).

The Sleeping Lyrical

This has been Lindy Haraoun/Time-Space Administrative Bureau 2007 presentation, which is meant to be a parody. Don't sue us; we just do what we're entrusted to.

// this is not the end, yet //