Delaware: What's our next state going to be, Penn?

Pennsylvania: ……………why are you calling me Penn all of the time now?

Delaware: Hm? OwO That's your name! Why don't you call me Tammany?

Pennsylvania: [Sigh.] Our next state should be fairly easy. I've never met Rhode Island before, but I hear that he has had good relations with the British Empire. He'll be more sympathetic to our cause.

Delaware: We're going to an island? XD Hooray!!! I've never been to an island before! X3

Pennsylvania: 0_0 N-no…

Delaware: No? OwO

Pennsylvania: 0_0 No…

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[Maryland walks unsteadily through a crowded pub. She is obviously out of place with her frilly white dress and bow. Her hair and eyes are brown and her face is covered in freckles.]

Maryland [walking up to the barkeeper]: I-um, uh….well, I….you see I….oh…..

Barkeeper: What?!

Maryland: Oh! Well, um, have you seen two men walk in here? One is short with long black hair and the other looks like him, but taller and with short hair! The younger one was probably smoking a pipe?

Barkeeper: Oh, yeah. [Points to table in the corner.] They're talking with Rhode Island. A bit dangerous, if you ask me.

Maryland: Huh? [Blink.] Why dangerous?

Barkeeper: Well….look, you should just go home. This ain't no place for a lady.

Maryland: Hm?

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Rhode Island [reading Olive Branch petition]: Hm. Uh-huh. Yeah. I see. You got Massachusetts to sign? Wow.

Pennsylvania [thinking]: :S This is so strange…I mean…I don't mean to be rude, but he looks like a little kid! And yet here he is, in a dark, shady pub, actively involved in politics! And his voice is far too deep for someone of his stature!

Rhode Island: [Looks up.] Do you mind if I smoke?

Delaware: Are you honestly asking me that? X3

Rhode Island: Good point. [Takes out cigar.]

Pennsylvania [thinking]: And he smokes!

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Rhode Island: Now, I have a bit of a problem with the way this sentence is written. [Points at it.] Even though I understand where you're coming from, this wording could easily be misunderstood as a threat against the crown.

Delaware: Hey! You're right! 0w0 We never noticed that before, did we, Penn? -w-

Pennsylvania [thinking]: And he actually knows his stuff!

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Rhode Island: Right! Now that everything's settled, let's celebrate with a drink!

Delaware: ….of what? owo

Rhode Island: Of Ale, of course! I'll order three mugs right away!

Pennsylvania [thinking]: And he drinks!

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[The three begin to drink when…]

Maryland: Delaware!!!! [tackleglomps]

Pennsylvania: 0.0

Delaware: 0.0

Rhode Island: 0.0 ……… [Goes back to drinking.]

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Delaware: Hi, Maryland!

Maryland: Don't you "Hi, Maryland" me!!! Where have you been all of this time?! You told me you were going to play with me! T_T

Delaware: Hm? I did? OwO

Maryland: Yes, you did!! ToT You're the only one who ever plays with me! Virginia's always so strict and cold, and Pennsylvania just treats me like I'm some fragile piece of china! You're the only one who treats me like a friend!!

Delaware: TwT I-I'm sorry! [Woefully smokes pipe. (If that's possible.)]

Pennsylvania: -_-? "Fragile piece of china"? I simply treat you like a lady should be treated. Speaking of which, what are you doing away from home? You know how fresh air ruins your complexion! : (

Connecticut: Ahem…pray exonerate my impinging upon this discourse, but what the hell do you think you're doing? [Angrily adjusts glasses.]

Pennsylvania: What? Connecticut?! Why, you…what are you…[seethe] [seethe]

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Maryland: Uwah! O.O I-It's okay, Connecticut! Delaware and I are working things out! ^_^|

Connecticut: Not that! That! [Points to a now red-faced and stumbling Rhode Islander.] What possessed you to think that it was permissible to allow Rhode Island to drink?!

Delaware: OwO Hm? What's so wrong with that? [Pipe dangling stupidly from mouth. (If that's possible.)]

Connecticut: You don't live next to him like I do…[Look of horror comes over face.] You haven't beheld the things I have beheld…you haven't hearkened to things that I have hearkened to…

Maryland: Like what?

Rhode Island: GOD!!! WILL YOU SHUT THE F!# UP, CONEY-TEA-CUT??!!

Connecticut: Like that.

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Rhode Island: Y'KNOW WHAT??!! YOU CAN ALL JUST KISS MY ASS!! DX PENNSHYLVANIA, YOU ALWAYS DO THE EXSHACT OPPOSITE O' WHADYA SAY YA'RE GONNA DO! CONEY-TEA-CUT, YOU AXT LIKE SHUCH A KNOW-IT-ALL!! MARYLAND, YOU ACSHTKJRD LEEK A LEETLE GIRRULL WHEN YOU'RE, WHAT, SHEVENTEEN??!! AND DELAWARE-

……………………………………….

…………………………….

Everyone: O_O??

Rhode Island: …………………………………………..

…………………………….NEKKID TIME!!!!

[Rhode Island strips all of his clothes in 3 seconds flat and dances on the table.]

Delaware: OwO|…..[Smokes pipe.]

Pennsylvania: DX Maryland! Avert thine eyes!! DX DX