Chapter 7

Tris

I'm kind of nervous about going to see all my friends. I don't let Tobias know that, though. I have no idea what their reactions are going to be. Except Christina, I laugh to myself. She'll squeal and hug me like she does every other time she sees me. What about Peter, and Cara, and Uriah? And Caleb. I guess I'll find out. Tobias and I make our way toward the dormitories, where everyone was staying before we released the memory serum. When we reach the door, I stop. It finally hits me that everyone in this room has thought I was dead for the past month. Tobias smiles at me. "Let me go in first." I nod, and he pushes open the door and goes in. After it swings shut, I put my ear to it to listen. "Hey, guys," Tobias greets my friends, and all I hear is a low mumble as they reply. My death must have hurt them more than I thought. After a full 30 seconds of awkward silence, I hear Chris speak up. "So, why are you here?" she asks, and she doesn't sound like herself. She sounds... empty, and it breaks my heart to hear my best friend that way. I can picture the smile slowly forming on Tobias' face as he says "I brought someone to see you guys." There's a rather deafening silence at this statement, as though they're all confused. Tobias calls "Come on in," and I take a deep breath and push open the door.

When the door swings shut behind me, I'm greeted with absolute silence. I look around, and my friends are all staring at me as if I'm a ghost, which to them, I guess I am. I meet each of their eyes in turn, but Caleb I pass over. Peter has the same look as usual, bored and annoyed. Cara is curious. Caleb's face is unbelieving, but I don't let myself look into his eyes. When my gaze reaches Chris, she just smiles knowingly, and I knew Tobias must have told her. Peter is the first one to speak. "You're supposed to be dead, Stiff," he says as he walks up to me. Tobias straightens beside me, his whole body tense. "So, why aren't you?" Peter stops in front of me, close enough that I can feel his breath on my face. I have no idea what Peter is up to this time, but it can't be good. Just as Peter reaches out a hand to touch my face, as if to confirm my reality, Tobias speaks. "Don't. Touch. Her." He says through gritted teeth. Peter's hand stops. He turns to Tobias, and smirks. "I'm not gonna hurt her, or anything, Four. I promise."
Peter reaches out again and I step back. "I swear to God, if you so much as flick me, I will castrate you." Peter's eyes widen, and Tobias pushes him to the ground, eyes wild. I know that in this moment, he could kill Peter. Although I hate him, I don't want him to die. "Tob-Four. Don't." Tobias turns to look at me, giving me a look that says why-not-he-deserves-it, and I just shake my head. Peter takes this time to get to his feet and launch himself to the other side of the room. Cara is the next to approach me. She eyes me up and down, assessing me. That's definitely her Erudite traits coming out. The first thing she asks me isn't even how I feel, or really about me at all, which kind of bugs me, but I let it pass.
"So, like Peter asked. How is it that you're still alive?" She crosses her arms, expecting a full explanation that I can't give to her.
"I'm not sure. All I know is that after I got shot, I was in a coma. For a week." Tobias speaks up. "She died." He bows his head. "She had no pulse for about two hours after she was shot. I was in the waiting room when the doctor told me that she was alive but unstable. I think if you want a full explanation, Cara, go speak to Dr. Arnwell." Cara nods, and exits the room. Before she leaves, however, she turns to me and says,
"It's nice to have you back, Tris." She pulls open the door and leaves.
Tobias grabs my hand and pulls me to the couch Chris is sitting on. I sit down, and Tobias sits on my left, leaving me between the two of them. Chris just looks at me,
and without warning pulls me into a suffocating but warm bear hug. I wince a bit, as the other of David's bullets buried itself in my side, and she lets go at once.
"Oh my God, Tris. I'm so sorry." I just laugh and smile at her. "It's okay, girl. I'm fine. Just a bit weak and sore." Chris nods. "So, you knew the whole time, huh?"
I ask her. She laughs a bit, and replies. "Yeah, Tobias pulled me into your room while you were sleeping. I thought it was a joke at first, but no. The doctor told me that you were really alive, and I almost jumped for joy. Tobias and Dr. Arnwell both told me not to tell a soul, though, and I kept to my promise." At this I look at Tobias quizzically, but he just shakes his head, implying he'll explain later. "None of that matters anymore," he says, grabbing my face and kissing me. I blush and feel a shock run through my entire body at his touch. "What matters now is that you're here, safe, alive and well." "I second that." says Chris, and I roll my eyes at both of them. "I'm really not that important, guys." They both reply with death stares, and in unison say "You are to me." We all laugh about it, and talk for a few more minutes.
Eventually, Tobias and I leave and head back to our room. I know he wants to talk to me about something, but I don't know what.

After we've eaten, and cleaned up, and done laundry, Tobias still hasn't said what's on his mind, which is starting to bother me. We're snuggling on the couch under a thick quilt when I look up at him.
"What's on your mind?" He looks down at me, and there's a smile on his face, but not a happy smile. A sad, knowing smile, which breaks my heart. What could be bothering him this much?
"What isn't?" he replies. "I have three things on my mind right now, two of which are about you and one of which is about both of us. Which would you like to hear first?"
I sigh. "Tobias, just talk to me. Communicate. Please. You can't keep everything shut up inside you. It's not good for you, or me, or our relationship." I glance at him, marvelling in his perfection. His eyes are a deep blue, but around the speckled around the iris are flecks of a blue so light it's almost white. His cheekbones are defined, giving his face an angled look. His lips are full, and all of a sudden I want him more than ever. I want to feel his hands on me, his lips. I want him, but I hold it in for now. Tobias looks at me, and gets this look on his face. The only time I've seen this look is the night we made love on this couch, and I know he's caught me. He picks me up in his arms, and I laugh as he tickles me. He carries me towards the shower, and stops before we go into the bathroom. He looks down at me in his arms, and kisses me so passionately. I want to give this man everything I am, every fibre of my being. "I promise, we'll talk after we shower, okay?" I nod, and pull him down to kiss me again. He kicks open the bathroom door, and I tangle my hands in his hair as he sets me down.

Tobias

Tris and I undress, and I start to run the shower. Tris is standing, looking at herself in the mirror. I come up behind her, and wrap my arms around her waist,
nuzzling her neck. She looks so much happier when I'm with her. "You're beautiful," I tell her, and kiss down her back. She shivers with pleasure, and turns to me. "I'm really not, Tobias." She gestures at herself. "I'm practically nothing. I don't have huge boobs. I don't have a round ass. I'm beyond petitie; petite can be attractive. I'm scrawny, and tiny, and gross." She bites her lip, trying not to cry. She's been so emotional lately. I wrap my arms around her and pull her close.
"You're perfect to me, honey. You always have been, and always will be." "Tobias, you're seriously the most attractive guy on the face of the earth. You could have any girl you want, someone with curves and boobs and someone who knows what they're doing, but you chose me. Why? What makes me special?"
"You complete me. I know I've told you that before, but it honestly is true, Beatrice. Before we met, I felt like I was missing something inside of me. I wasn't happy, at all. But when you jumped, and I grabbed your hand, I felt something I'd never felt before. I'd never loved anyone, but I guess love at first sight really is true, because when I looked into your eyes after you hit that net, I fell in love instantly." I pull her gently toward the shower, and we get in.

After soaping each other up and washing our hair, we stand in the shower, hugging each other and kissing. Now is the time to ask her one of the questions that has been nagging at me. "Tris?" I say, and she looks at me. "I... have something to ask you." She looks at me expectantly. I take a deep breath. "Um... I... We had sex." I blurt out. Instantly I blush. That was lame. Tris just laughs at me and hugs me. "Indeed we did," she says, and kisses my neck lightly. I moan a bit and she smirks at me sexily. "Uhm... how was it?" she stops kissing and looks at me. She stares into my eyes for what seems like ages, but in reality was probably only a minute. "It was... perfect." she kisses me. "Absolutely, incredibly perfect. And hey, I overcame one of my fears." I sigh in relief, but I still have one question. "Did I hurt you?" Tris looks me directly in the eyes. "It hurt a little bit. But, it's supposed to, Tobias. It hurt for maybe 5 minutes, and then it was.. incredible." She kisses me lightly. "Don't worry, baby. It was amazing." I sigh as a huge weight falls from my shoulders, and then she speaks again. "How was it for you?" I lift Tris in my arms so her face is level with mine. "Honestly?" I say, and she takes this the wrong way. She looks down, as if she's about to cry, but she nods. "Be completely honest, Tobias. You can tell me if I suck." I look at her with genuine surprise. She thinks she's bad? I laugh to myself.
"Tris, making love with you was the best thing I've ever done, up until this point in time. Not just physically, but emotionally. I wanted to prove my love for you, and that was the best way I could think of." Tris smiles, and even though she's happy, a tear leaks down her cheek. "I love you, Tobias." I manage to get out two of the four words I was planning to say before Tris pushes me against the wall of the shower, and jumps into my arms. She kisses me harder than she's ever kissed me before. As I kiss her neck, she moans in my ear. "Mmmmm.. I want you, Tobias." I pull back and look her dead in the eyes. I touch my forehead to hers, and I tell her "I want you, too, baby." The look in her eyes at this moment is pure lust, and she says "I'm all yours." I kiss her hard, and pull her close to me, ready to show her I love her.