Alright AGAIN I haven't updated in forever and there really isn't any reason this time, so yeah, I take all charges and plead no contest! -laughs- BUT I am receiving my punishment, which is... (I've been denying this since Monday but I woke up this morning and cant deny it any longer) I'm getting sick...er... I think it's just a few day cold though (hopefully) cause my family has all had it and now it seems to be my turn, I'm always last when it comes to getting sick. -groans-

I hate winter.

Now enough of my misery...

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My child,

When will this cruel war end? Oh when will your father return?

It has been a mere twenty-two days since he left and yet, it seems like an eternity.

I try to remember there have been longer wars than this one will last (from what your father tells me he believes) but everything is so out of place and dull without him.

Even the very air is different.

I have never feared his death but what I do worry for is my sanity. It is terribly quiet here, quieter than normal. I have a lot of idle time, so to keep my mind from wandering I spend it reading and talking to you... although it doesn't always work.

Even the servants are slacking from their usually tight schedule. I don't fret about it because when your father gets back they will start again, plus because I'm kind to them they are willing and helpful when I need something done.

Still none of it makes up for your father not being here.

Sometimes, I lie awake in my coffin waiting... waiting for the echo of his steady footfalls. That steady and confident walk, the one that would tell me he has surely returned. But it never comes.

It never comes.

Before I picked up the pen to write this, I sat for an hour watching as the icy, white powder fell from the black heavens. Each snow flake glinting in the moonlight as it blew in the strong winds.

The sight was ordinary for here in the winter, but still beautiful... only, I couldn't enjoy it fully as your father filled my thoughts.

Where is he? What could he be doing? What were his thoughts on?

That is when I realized: that even heaven would be hell if he were not there.

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That last line comes from the song "My Hell" by Disciple. The actual lines are 'even heaven is hell if somehow you were not there'. It just kinda inspired me, I dunno. Well reviews will make me happy, as always, and probably less lethargic too. I'm going to go back to bed now... alone... cold... and wishing I had a certain vampire... -sniff-

But before I go, one last thing... I promise I will update again next week. I PROMISE.