Still not beta'd.


The sun was just beginning to move from hanging right overhead when America's stomach grumbled. He rubbed at it in a vain attempt to not let it happen again, though it did within a few minutes anyway. "Sorry... I haven't eaten since yesterday."

Arthur shook his head and continued on forward. "I haven't eaten anything in I don't know how long, so I know how you feel. The problem is we're still in Joker territory. Unless we come across another demutt and manage to kill it I doubt we'll find any food for awhile."

"Couldn't we have fished back at that lake or something?"

Another shake of the soldier's head was his answer. "I doubt there would be any fish in it. Notice how there aren't any birds or any other sounds of life?"

'So that's the part of what's bugging me that I couldn't put my finger on.' He nodded to show that he'd noticed.

"Joker territory is...desolate for all of the half-alive flora around. Even the water isn't necessarily safe to drink. The demutts are the only things that seem capable of surviving here and mostly only because they procreate enough to serve as food for each other, though they sometimes risk crossing borders and preying upon whatever might live too close. Things quickly die in these places. Maybe it's because the Jokers are technically dead themselves... If those rumors are true anyway..."

That was just a whole batch of unsettling thoughts. "What are we supposed to do if we can't reach a border soon then? Without food and water we won't last too long, especially since we've already been going for at least half of a day without any."

The scowl that was slowly growing on Arthur's face started to deepen. "We'll just have to make do and keep on going. It's better to face forward into the possible unknown than to stand in one place where you know things won't change."

"Heh... Keep calm and carry on?"

Arthur gave him an odd look before facing forward again. "I suppose you could put it that way."


Keeping calm and carrying on was all well and good, but the sun was starting to set and they still hadn't found either a beach or a border of one of the four main kingdoms (and they were both really really hoping it would be Spades, especially by this point, or it meant that they were likely going the wrong way and were only becoming more and more lost).

Arthur took a look around, but he couldn't tell if they were nearing a break in the trees yet or not, especially with the dwindling light. "We don't really have a choice then I suppose. We'll have to set up camp for the night. I would almost advise sleeping in the trees where the demutts can't reach us, but we'd unfortunately likely fall out. We needn't risk unnecessary injuries. We'll just have to take shifts by the fire."

America moved to start collecting some branches to light. "I can take first watch." He pulled out the pocket watch to check the time. When he looked more carefully at the hour and minute hands though he realized that they were pointing at Arthur and himself. He hadn't thought about it the last time he'd looked at it, but it was doing the same thing then too, wasn't it? He was pretty sure. The second hand was still pointing off in almost the same direction as they had been walking though. He frowned in thought.

Having thought the other man was going to gather firewood and kindling, Arthur started checking his pockets to see if he had any flint. He could have sworn he felt some when he'd been looking for money before, though he wasn't sure why he'd have just a stray bit of flint in his pockets after everything that had happened. "That's fine. We'll try to go in three hour shifts, and we should head out at first light." When America paused on his way for wood though he looked up to see what he was doing and saw the frown on his face. "What's wrong?"

America looked up from the watch. "It's just..." He took several steps to the side and could tell that the minute hand was staying on Arthur. "You remember when I showed you this before?" He waited for the other man to nod – though it seemed reluctant – before continuing. "Well..., I didn't realize it then, but I don't think this is working after all. It keeps pointing to the two of us, though the second hand isn't – it keeps pointing the same way like the needle on a compass always points to north."

Arthur paused in thought for a moment with his gaze on the ground before looking back up at America. "I think...we should follow the second hand. That Joker gave you the watch for a reason, we can be assured of that much. If it's pointing to the two of us and a third unknown..., we should take it as a clue to go that way. We'll check it in the morning and see if it's still doing that." 'Even though I'm sure it will be.' "If it is, then we'll follow it. Hopefully it will lead us to a border soon so we can at least hunt and find water."

America wasn't sure if Arthur was acting awkward because of the weird clock or if it was something else, like the uneasiness that came from having to set up camp in Joker territory neither of them were at all familiar with. He thought about asking him what might be on his mind, but he decided against it for the moment and continued on to gather some makings for a fire. Dumping them down in a pile near a small pit Arthur had scooped out of the ground and surrounded with some small rocks, America took to setting up their fire, thankful for the bit of flint that the soldier handed to him to light it with. The half-dead plants were quick to light with it.

With the fire steadily growing the pair took up spots on opposite sides of it, mainly for defense's sake in case anything tried to attack from any side. America looked over to the Spadesman and found him staring into the fire with a contemplative look on his face. "You can go ahead and go to sleep for a bit. I can't really tell time since the only watch I have won't work, but, if I start getting sleeping, I'll wake you and we can change positions."

Arthur looked up with a blank blink before he showed he'd registered what had been said and ran a hand through his hair. "All right. Just remember to wake me at the slightest feeling of nodding off or if you hear anything."

America chuckled before giving him a slight salute. "Sure thing, General."

Arthur shook his head ruefully before turning and laying down on his side, facing the fire, and setting his hat within arm's reach. "Goodnight, Alfred."

"Goodnight, Arthur."


'Guard duty sure is boring when it's only you and nothing at all to spend your time doing except listening to the dead...probably not the best word choice...listening to your surroundings and the crackling fire and keeping yourself from delving too far into thought to forget to do the former (That was sort of the point of being on watch after all...).

'Man... I hope we're near the border to Spades. A human can last only about three days without water. A country can last a bit longer...normally... I still don't know if everything still works the same for me here or not though. I don't want him to become any more suspicious of me than he might already be as it is though, so I should just act like a human as much as I can I suppose.'

At the thought of Arthur America looked across the fire at the sleeping man. He really didn't know what to think of him. It all just felt so ridiculously coincidental that the man looked, sounded, and acted so much like England, like he'd hit his head, suffered from amnesia, was dropped into this weird world, and just came to think he was from it. If he really was stuck in some weird dream, he wondered why it was playing out like it was. Though thinking about that... He felt like he had more control over himself than he should for a dream and found it very weird that time seemed to be passing like it would in the real world. If this was some kind of lucid dream, he wondered what he was doing to be able to have dreams like this. He'd prefer a bit more control if that's what was happening. The building thirst and hunger felt too real... 'Plus, if this was a lucid dream or something and I had more control, I could like...fly or something like Superman, and I could take us to his capital or whatever and would probably wake up right as we got to something good...l-like a big celebration or something.'

He wasn't quite sure where his thoughts had been going, but it was all making him feel awkward and frustrated at his situation, so he forced himself back to keeping an eye and ear out for any possible danger. He had a bad feeling that more time had passed while he was thinking than he'd care to think about itself, and doing something like that could easily get them both killed. While he was sure enough that he himself would be all right, he wasn't as sure about Arthur, and the thought of Arthur getting hurt didn't sit well with him.

Turning his gaze back to the fire, America tried to calm his thoughts and settle in for a few more hours of watch duty.


He wasn't sure how much time had passed, but America could feel his eyes growing heavy and knew better than to try and stick it out much longer. Quietly walking over to Arthur, he knelt near the man and gently shook his shoulder. "Hey, Arthur? I need to get some sleep. It's getting hard to keep my eyes open. Can we switch now?"

Arthur grumbled but didn't start awake since America had used a calm, quiet tone. "Mmnn? Yes. Sure. Just...give me a moment to wake up."

"Okay." America settled back down on his side of the fire and watched the man across from him sit up and stretch before standing up and working the kinks out of his back and shoulders. Once the soldier had settled back down, now looking much more awake, America settled down on his side facing the fire with an arm pillowing his head. "I'm going to sleep now. Wake me if anything happens."

Arthur nodded once and settled his hat into his lap before taking an almost meditative-looking position with his gaze back on the fire. "Sleep well. I feel like I can last until sunrise. We'll head out then."

"Don't push yourself, but...okay."

America settled down as best he could on the ground with nothing to sleep on but his arm. He could tell that he'd fall asleep quickly enough though. 'Maybe when I wake up I'll really wake up, back in my apartment and all. It shouldn't feel like I've spent more than half of a day here, but it does. Time seems to be flowing like it's all real. Being able to think all of this is just...confusing. The hunger and exhaustion and thirst and all... It feels too real. I...don't like this... I want to wake up. I heard lucid dreams could easily lead to freaky dreams, but... Man, I don't know what's going on, but I just want to wake up...'


The smell of something burning brought America quickly back to the world of the conscious, and he leapt up before realizing it was probably just England up early and trying to make breakfast again. The problem with that thought though was that he found himself still surrounded by shades of brown around him, hard ground below him, and a still burning fire in front of him.

Arthur had started and nearly dropped the stick he'd been using to prod at the fire with when America had jumped up like he'd been bitten. "Are you all right? Have a bad dream?"

America wanted to laugh at that, but he thought it might come out sounding a bit hysterical, so he just sort of cringed and sat back down like he had been the previous evening. "I'm fine. Sorry."

The soldier went back to what he'd been doing, which seemed to be watching over some...large pieces of meat cooking over the fire.

'So that's what had smelled like it was burning...' America wanted to laugh again, but he stopped himself for similar reasons as the previous time. 'Wait...' "Where did you get meat? ? Especially such big pieces? ?"

Arthur pointed off to his left through the bushes. "The wind picked up a bit a little while ago, and I caught whiff of something off on it. I didn't want to leave the camp, but I thought it best to check it out. Turns out it was a dead demutt. I scavenged what meat I could from it and made some makeshift baskets we can carry what we don't eat now in for later. It will have to do until we can find something better and water."

America just stared at him for a moment, not really knowing what to say. It didn't really help that he was still partially groggy from sleep. He took his glasses off and rubbed at his face to not only try to wake himself up more (and every time he thought of the words "wake up" any more he felt like hitting his head against something) but to try and deal with things. Really, he just woke up. He wasn't ready to deal with...anything. He slipped Texas back on. "You... You're cooking a dead...demutt you found. You made baskets out of the stuff around us to carry the leftovers in. Is that meat even edible?"

Arthur turned over the meat he had skewered on some sticks and set over the fire. "Yes, it's edible, though the taste is a bit... I don't know how to describe it. It's sort of like most meat you'd find on a cow but...tougher? It's mostly muscle with little fat, so there's not much to help with the flavor."

"That's...not what I meant," though he didn't want to say what he'd actually meant – it looked too burnt to eat really, but maybe that was just how it was supposed to look since the creature had such black skin, "but whatever. Is it done? We should probably eat and get going."

Taking one of the pieces – it was sort of square like a roast and about twice the size of Arthur's hand – of meat off of the fire, Arthur tested it by taking a bite right out of it, making America wince since it should still be really hot and he wasn't sure about how safe it was to eat or what the taste was like. "Hmm... I've only had demutt meat once before, but I think this is done. The blood's cooked out of it anyway." That earned another cringe from America. "Here." He handed the other large piece of meat over.

America accepted it a little hesitantly. He wasn't usually all that picky when it came to trying new foods at least once, and if it actually tasted like beef that would be fine, but...it did look like it'd been burnt. Not to mention it was from a creature that shouldn't exist. Lifting it up to blow on it a bit since it was still hot from the fire, he waited a moment before taking a hesitant bite out of it. Arthur was watching him and looking like he was waiting for him to say something, so after he took his first bite he took the time to savor the taste. He was a bit surprised. "Huh... This isn't too bad. It does sort of remind me of beef, like a roast or something, though a bit harder to chew. Too bad we don't have anything to season it with or go with it like potatoes or something." He took another, bigger bite and chewed happily on it.

Arthur had smiled at the other (more or less) saying it tasted good but hid it with a smirk when he caught America looking at him. "Yes, well, like we both know, we're just going to have to deal with what we have available, but at least this should help us last long enough to reach better food. It might taste good, but I don't think we should make a habit of eating it."

"Mmnn... Maybe. But we could suggest demutt meat in case they start being too much of a problem for people. They'd probably make good burger patties." He took another big bite from his chunk of meat.

Arthur swallowed the bite he'd taken himself and gave America a confused look. "'Burger patties?'"

America nearly choked on his mouthful of meat. He forced it down and coughed a little as it didn't quite go down right before looking at Arthur incredulously. "You don't know what a burger is? ?"

The Spadesman shook his head. "I don't believe I've heard of such a thing before. What is it?"

'How does he not know? ? Wait...ugh...this isn't England. It's so easy to forget that sometimes despite his clothes and where we are. But really? ? They don't have burgers here? ? Or...at least not widely-spread enough for Arthur to know about them. Must remedy this as soon as possible.' "Well..., you sort of ground meat – usually beef – up and form it into a patty," he made motions with his hands to go along with what he was saying, "and you cook it on a grill or something. They're delicious. You put them in a bun – or bread could work too I guess – and then put whatever you like on them. I like cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, pickles, and a little Miracle Whip, ketchup, and mustard on mine. Some bacon sometimes too..." He was making himself hungry just thinking about it...

"I'm not sure what 'Miracle Whip' is, but it sounds like it would be hard to eat with all of that together on one bun."

America scratched at his cheek as he thought about it. "I guess it's kind of like this... It's sort of like...this mix of eggs and vinegar and stuff? It's hard to describe. It's better just to try it. I don't know how to make it myself, so I doubt we'll be able to have any though anyway. And putting it all in a bun makes it a lot easier to eat. You just take a big bite and make sure to get some of all of it in one go." He smiled and took another bite of meat.

Arthur shook his head and took a couple of bites of his own before speaking up again. "Still... That's a lot to put on what sounds like a sandwich. But...it doesn't sound so bad. I probably wouldn't want so much on one if I were to try one though."

"Heheh... Well, if we ever have the chance, we should get some or make some. You'll love 'em." 'If he's like England in this way too, he will anyway. England can complain about them all he wants, but I know he loves them. He just worries too much about how much I eat.'

"I suppose once we reach the capital and have procured some more money we can see what we can do. For now let's finish here and head out."

"Okay. Sounds good. We need to get out of here and find water anyway. I hope there aren't any more demutts around and can smell this cooking."

Arthur finished off the last few bites of his meal. "I don't think there are or they would have been able to find that dead one and would have picked it clean or they would have attacked us by now. I would suggest finishing up quickly anyway though. I already cooked the rest of the meat before you woke up. It's another few meals-worth probably if we make it last and is in the baskets ready to go. Is the watch still pointing towards the same way?"

America quickly ate the rest of his meat, wiped his hands on his pants, and pulled out the watch. The hour and minute hands were still pointing at the two of them, and the second hand was still pointing away. Looking up at the rising sun, he tried to estimate the direction. "Yeah, it seems to be pointing northeast from here. Let's get going."

Putting out the remains of their fire, Arthur moved to pick up one of the two baskets. They were basically branches tied together with half-dead vines and lined with some of the bigger leaves he could find. They were small enough to be carried in one arm and held two or three pieces of meat cut into blocks like their meal just now had been, plus a few more slices cut long and somewhat thin like thick bacon. Arthur picked up his hat and carried it in his other arm. "If it's pointing northeast, I feel more assured that we're on the southwest edge of Spades. I have a feeling it's pointing to the capital. We should continue on that way."

America picked up the other basket. "The person we're meant to find is in the capital, you think? I wonder who it is." 'Too bad it can't be like...Canada, but I doubt it'll be him...or his...doppelganger or whatever. I don't know if I want to deal with another double or not anyway...'

"It's possible. It's a Spades-shaped watch, so it wouldn't be pointing to a non-Spades citizen. Let's check it again and go."

America didn't want to mention that he wasn't exactly a Spades citizen himself. Though for all he knew maybe he had taken over his own double's body in this weird new world so he was one sort of. Stranger things had already happened in this maybe-not-a-dream.

With one last good look at the pocket watch the two set off towards their unknown destination.


They traveled for a few hours with thankfully no ambushes from unwanted company. It looked to be about ten when they made it to the top of a hill amongst the trees only to find an interesting sight on the other side.

The clearing the hill was in was rather big – about five football fields in length and another four or so wide – but what caught their attention was the clear divide in color down the middle of it.

America looked on in muted awe. "It looks like a straight line... It's like...a huge, invisible barrier was put up and anything outside of it's dead."

Arthur moved forward towards the invisible line in the grass. "It would take a lot of magic to construct one that big, but the concept is similar I suppose. We've reached the border between the Joker's territory and whatever this kingdom is."

Jogging to catch up with the soldier, America stopped with him near the border. "I was being kind of sarcastic about the magical force-field thing. Don't tell me you believe in magic too?"

Arthur gave him an incredulous look. "Of course I do. It's one of the fundamental properties of our world. How do you think the telecrystals work or how the Jokers come and go like they do for starters?"

America ran his free hand through his hair. "Uh... Well, there are scientific properties like the ability to travel the speed of light or like...parallel universes and black holes and event horizons and..." He trailed off at the utterly confused look the other man was giving him. "Er... Nevermind..."

The soldier took the first tentative step over the break between the two lands and was thankful nothing seemed to have happened by doing so. He had rarely ever been in Joker territory before, and one can never been too careful when dealing with unknowns. "You must have interesting stories your elders tell in your town. Light having a speed? An event having a horizon? I've never heard of scientific terms like any of those."

Frowning at the tone of disbelief, America followed after him. "They're not 'stories.' Their scientifically proven facts...more or less. Parallel universes are still more of a theory of course, but... Anyway, yeah, light travels at a set speed if there's nothing to interrupt it. Like how air and sound do too. It's like waves in water. I mean traveling at the speed of light isn't possible yet, but someday it will be. Then traveling the universe will be possible. Visiting far off worlds and seeing what might live there. It'd be the ultimate adventure."

Heading into the trees on the living side of the border, Arthur paused to turn back to the other. "Your talk of odd science aside, you sound like you enjoy the thought of adventure quite a bit. Why didn't you ever leave your little town? You look old enough to travel on your own." He looked around for a moment before looking at America again. "Check the watch for our bearings again."

He pulled out the watch, and they set off in the direction the second hand was pointing. "I'm...nineteen, but there were only so many of us in the village, so we all had our parts in keeping everything going. I'd probably still be at home if I hadn't ended up in this weird situation with you."

Arthur looked at him out of the corner of his eye, not really wanting to look right at him. "Do you regret it...? Being here with me? Would you rather be back home?"

"Well..., I can't say I wouldn't mind being back home with my brother and my...friend, but...an adventure is an adventure. You don't always get to have things go your way. So...while I could do without things trying to kill me or the hardly no food and actually no water things and stuff...it's not so bad. I could have a worse travel-buddy at least." He smiled at his companion.

Arthur gave him a dry look. "That last part didn't really sound like a compliment." He sighed and looked forward, scanning the area. The sound of life had been almost immediate once stepping into the trees. Birds sung overhead, and insects chirped and hummed and buzzed around them. If he concentrated hard enough, he thought he could even hear– "Water!"

America nearly dropped his basket and the pocket watch in surprise. "W-what? ?" He saw Arthur take off to the right and followed after him. "Arthur? ? Wait, did you say water? ?" He ran off after him after stuffing the watch back into his pocket.

He broke through the trees and into another clearing and saw Arthur kneeling at the edge of a large pool of water that had formed from a small waterfall coming from a short cliff above them which then continued on into a small river that flowed to the south.

Arthur looked up from the water source to look back at America. "I thought I heard water through the sounds of the birds and bugs. It looks clean and clear. We should take our fill then head upriver. We might find people sooner doing that instead of just blindly following the watch."

America knelt down and after setting down his basket started scooping up water to drink slowly. "Oh, wow, that's nice and cold and tastes great...for water anyway." He took a few more sips. "You think there'll be anything this close to the border?"

After taking a few drinks himself Arthur wiped at his mouth and sat back on the mossy ground. "This close to the Outer Ocean...probably not..., but we need to try and find a telecrystal that's connected to the ones further inland for one thing anyway. We could end up traveling the countryside blindly for weeks if we don't find one or people soon. The watch may be pointing somewhere specific, but who knows how long it could take to reach that place or person on foot. Especially if it's a person. That means they could move. We need to at least find out where in the kingdom we are. At least by all of the blues taking over the plantlife the further we go, I can surmise we are in Spades."

"That's good. I was starting to worry we might be somewhere else. At least if it's Spades you might be able to use your position in the military to help us get to the capital quicker."

"The problem with that is that I have no idea how long I've been gone. Just because it looked like that frog Francis hasn't aged much since the last time I saw him doesn't mean he hadn't been put under some kind of spell too. I mean...I still feel the same – the twenty-three I was when my team went on that last mission – but... Any number of things could have changed if I've been gone for long. I could have been listed as missing or dead, and resurfacing now could bring unwanted attention."

"I wouldn't worry about that, Eyebrows."

The pair turned to the new (to one of them anyway) voice. America was the first to react, though he still stuttered in surprise at the sudden appearance. "Pru– Gil– Joker? ? What are you doing here?"

Arthur had moved to grab at his hat, but he paused and looked in newfound surprise at America. "This is the Joker you met?" He looked back to the albino and gave him a good once-over. "I don't know what I was expecting, but the devil-like appearance seems to be fitting for what you are."

Joker shook his finger at him like he was chastising a misbehaving child. "Now, now. See here. That's hardly nice. And here I was going to give you directions to the nearest telecrystal gate." He sat down in mid-air, crossed his legs, and put his arms behind his head, turning a ways off while whistling a tune. "I guess you could just try going whatever way you want, but it'd be totally unawesome and boring if you ended up dieing before anything actually happens."

Arthur was caught between apologizing and hoping for those directions or throwing something at the Joker for being an arrogant jerk. "If you knew the direction we need to go in, why haven't you said something before now? We thought we weren't going to find food and water before we died."

Joker held out his arms and shrugged. "Now where is the fun in that? I can't just give you the answers as soon as you need them. You gotta work stuff out for yourselves. What kind of adventure would it be if people were giving you everything you needed without doing any work for it?" He gave America a meaningful, though short, sidelong look. "You're supposed to be able to work out what's important and what it all means on your own."

America felt like Joker was really talking more to him than answering Arthur and not for the first time like the Prussia-double knew what was going on. The suspicion likely showed on his face, because Joker gave him a knowing smile before looking back at Arthur. "Well, anyway, I'll give you this much since it'd be totally boring watching you two camp out for weeks. Follow the river upstream for a few hours. You'll find it starts heading further inland. Keep going until you reach a bridge and take the path to the east. You'll find an outlier in the town that way. It won't take you far, but you'll have access to the grid." He gave them both a large smirk and mocking bow, though his gaze stayed on America longer, "Good luck," and he disappeared in another flash of light.


I wasn't even trying for/planning that parallel between England cooking colonial!America food and this. It just happened hahahah...