"Mate," Sirius sighed, stopping swinging in his chair. "Can't you just go and ask her out finally?"

Remus slowly tuned his head back at Sirius before he looked around; James and Peter were staring him, too. "No," he answered simply, returning to his Transfiguration book. He noticed the girl first around the end of the last year, when they both spent a lot of time in the library, studying for their exams. He kept admiring her from afar, and it didn't seem she noticed him at all.

Sirius just growled, but James leaned forward and adjusted his glasses, speaking with a sleepy voice. "Yeah, Moony. You practically haven't taken your eyes off her since we came here. Three hours ago."

"You'd be cute together," Peter grinned after he looked at the girl, too.

"Yeah, she's a nerd, just like you. It's only our second week and she's already studying in the library," Sirius added, leaning back on his chair again.

"What do you think we are doing?"

Sirius looked around their table. James was doodling on a spare piece of parchment, Peter was eating a sandwich under the table, carefully hiding it from Madam Pince, while Sirius himself was sitting with nothing but his wand in front of him. Remus was the only one who had books and parchments at his part of the table, though a great amount his time was spent on staring the girl. "Definitely not studying."

Remus sighed, but said nothing. The next couple minutes passed with the boys trying to convince him to stand up and talk to the girl, until Lily appeared next to them, resting her hand on Sirius' shoulder. James quickly crumpled the piece of parchment and stuffed it in his bag, and suddenly, he looked much more awaken than two seconds earlier.

"Can I help?" Lily asked with a smile, but her brows furrowed in concern. "Listening your dating tips is devastating."

"Is that so, Evans?" Sirius said with a raised eyebrow, looking offended. "Do you think you know more about girls than me?"

James buried his face in his palms and Lily crossed her arms across her chest; her expression was close to the one that Sirius saw from McGonagall so many times. "Well, it may have escaped your notice, but I'm a girl."

"Yeah, but I've dated more girls than you," he grinned.

Lily opened her mouth to argue back, but Remus cut her off before she could've said anything. "I don't need any of your advice, okay? I won't talk to her."

"Oh, but why? James was right, you really can't take your eyes off her," Lily said, walking to Remus and sitting down between him and James, who blushed and felt very proud that Lily Evans thought he was right. "She's a nice girl, you should definitely talk with her."

"You know her?"

"I do. Her name is Elizabeth. Slughorn asked me to help her because she's really bad at Potions," Lily replied, causing Sirius to clap his hands together.

"See? Another thing you have in common."

Remus shot a half-angry look at him, but Lily went on quickly. "No, I mean… she's really, really bad," she said to Sirius, before turned back to Remus with a kind smile. "What I wanted to say… I'm Head Girl now, so…"

"Are you? We haven't noticed," Sirius cut her off. Lily threatened him multiple times every day that she can give him detention now (even if she never did so far).

The redhead girl looked at him warningly before she continued. "…so I have a lot of other things to do and don't have time to give extra lessons… but you have," she grinned mischievously, causing James' heart to flutter in his chest.

"You do have time," Remus murmured, shifting in his chair.

"She doesn't need to know that."

All the boys and Lily were looking at Remus now, waiting for his answer. Usually he didn't have a problem with flirting, but when it came to someone he really liked…

He sighed and stood up, but his legs moved faster than his mind; he didn't know what to say to her, his heart was banging against his ribs, he was sweating; he stopped too close and almost bumped into her while she tried to reach a book on a higher shelf.

"Hello, erm, let me help you," Remus said, but as he reached for the book she tried to take off, he knocked off at least a dozen other books, too.

Sirius closed his eyes and shook his head, while Peter and James quickly turned away, trying to hide their laughs. "Shut up," Lily whisper-screamed, hitting James on his shoulder.

"Shit – I'm sorry – just – fuck," he stammered, trying to catch the falling books. After the last one fell on the ground, he waved his wand and levitated them back on their place, giving the one to her she wanted to pick up earlier.

"Thank you for your… help," she said in a low voice, her face still surprised and couldn't decide she should laugh or not.

"You're welcome. Elizabeth, right?"

"Just Elsie, please," she said, sitting down back to her table. She had a beautiful, sweet smile, the kind of that made her eyes lit up, too. Her long, brown hair was pulled into a ponytail, but it was still a bit messy.

Remus took a seat in front of her, and after long seconds of awkward silence, he finally found his voice again. "Oh, sorry. I'm Remus."

She just smiled at him again without a word, her fingers toying with her sleeves; Remus could tell she had absolutely no idea what he wanted from her, and she was nervous – she was just better in hiding it than him. He cleared his throat, but once again, his mind was slower as he started to speak, "Lily told me you're terrible at Potions."

He heard as someone behind him let out one, loud but short laugh, another one growled, and a third one slapped their hand against their forehead. He could feel as he could just slap himself – or jump through the window.

"How really nice of her," she said, but didn't seem offended at all.

"No, I mean…" Remus started, but stopped and took a deep breath. "She just said you aren't really good and that she used to help you but now she's busy because she's Head Girl so she asked me to help you from now on if it's okay with you of course?" he rattled off without taking a breath or slowing down.

Elsie wished she could stop the blush rising up on her cheeks, but more she wanted to stop, more she felt the hot waves on her face. Remus was very handsome, and the thought of him and her studying together in private made her nervous but excited at the same time. "Of course. Any kind of help would be great for me."

They agreed on that they should meet every Friday afternoon – as both of them had only three lessons on that day. But the weekly study sessions turned into more and more, until there was not a day when they didn't see each other.

Remus thought back on a lot of things after Elsie cried herself to sleep in his arms. He remembered those times when they just started to meet; she used to be so quiet and shy and it took her a month until she had enough courage to talk, without him asking questions. He was thinking about how much she changed in a good way. She became more talkative with every time they spent together; not just with him, but with his friends as well. He'd never thought that someone like Elsie could become best friends with Sirius, but somehow their opposites brought them close to each other. Remus was surprised, but happy to see that even after he took her memories away, she didn't go back to that state she used to be before they've met. Or maybe she did – she definitely did – but something still made her grow again. And he knew now that that something was her friend, Juliet. He smiled at the irony of it – as she could find someone like Juliet after Sirius.

She shifted on top of him a bit before she rolled off, sat up and cleared her throat, but avoided his eyes for long moments before she finally looked at him. "I should go home now," she said before she stood up and started to change her clothes. Remus fixed his gaze on the floor, trying to collect his thoughts. He only stood up when Elsie already opened the door.

"Listen, I…" he started, but the words stuck in his throat. He didn't exactly know what he should say that wouldn't be a lie or something really stupid, again.

"Don't say anything," she said finally, taking a step closer to him, her hand fell off of the handle. "In the past months I made you promise me you'll look for me, but you never did. Don't promise that again. And don't say you're sorry," she shook her head, and since she felt she sounded too blunt, she quickly added, "I'm not angry at you, Remus, don't think that. Just don't promise me something that you already know you won't keep."

Remus nodded and watched as she left his room. Juliet stood in the living room with Sirius, her coat on and her suitcase in her hands, ready to leave. She looked at Elsie with raised eyebrows. "I thought you already left."

"Leaving now," she replied, trying to force a smile as she put her coat on. After they said their goodbyes and the girls both agreed they need a refreshing walk, they left the apartment and stepped into the cool winter weather. Elsie inhaled deeply and closed her eyes, but opened them when she heard Juliet was growling lowly.

"Every inch of my body is hurt," she huffed. "What the hell happened yesterday?"

Elsie shrugged. "Maybe you should ask Sirius about that."

"Very funny," Juliet tutted, but smiled as well. "But we didn't have sex last night."

"Really?" Elsie asked in surprise. "He was so eager to pull you into his room."

She then saw something that she had never seen before or since then from Juliet: she blushed. It was only a light pink colour on her cheeks, but it still shocked Elsie so much she almost bumped into a lamppost.

"Well, yes, we were both so wasted we fall asleep before we could even take our clothes off," she said in a confident voice, but quickly changed the subject. "And what about you and Remus?"

She rolled her eyes at her question and as she saw the smug smile on her face. "Nothing happened, Juliet. We were just sleeping together."

"Why? I mean, he looked really hot without a t-shirt, how could you not doing anything with him?"

Elsie laughed, but shook her head. "I was really, really drunk," she said, and rather left the part out that Remus was the one who took her dress off.

"Even better! You first time will be terrible anyway."

The rest of the walk passed in silence. Only Juliet said something here and then; Elsie couldn't help but think back about what Remus said to her only a couple hours earlier. As they stepped into the flat, she wanted nothing more than take a hot bath, but her friend stopped her before she could left the living room.

"Did something happened between you two?"

Elsie bit her lip and considered whether if she should tell her or not, but she knew Juliet won't let her until she tells what happened. Besides, maybe she could use her advice now. "He told me he loves me but he's too scared he'd hurt me," she said in a low voice, sitting down on the couch. "No matter what I told him, he said he'd do anything to keep me safe."

A small growl left Juliet's lips as she plopped down in front of her. "You love him too, right?"

After Elsie only nodded, they fell in silence for longs minutes. Juliet always could give great advices about boys, but when it came to love, she wasn't such an expert. "Look," she started finally. "I hate to say this because I really want you two to be together… but maybe you should let him go."

Elsie felt her heart sink to the floor; it was something she had in mind too, she just hoped she could find another solution.

"Just focus on yourself, or school, or maybe go some dates too, and he'll see how much he misses you," Juliet said, standing up and sitting down next to her friend. "And if he won't… he isn't worth it anyway. I know, I know, it isn't so easy," she quickly added. "Especially if you're really in love with someone. But don't waste your time on someone who tries to do anything to push you away."


As much as it hurt to admit, Juliet was right. If Remus wanted to stay away from Elsie, why should she run after him with everything she had? At first, she protested the idea, but as she stopped looking for him and he did nothing to see her, she admitted to herself there wasn't anything she could do. She didn't want to give up on him, but his constant rejection hurt too much.

In the meantime, she did as Juliet told her and kept her mind busy. She spent a lot of time with her friends, studied a lot, and ever went out with Juliet and Sirius from time to time – their company was definitely the most helpful.

And all the time she spent with writing paid off soon: Mrs Averill offered her a job at The Witch Weekly, where she was an editor. She got smaller projects but the new work still kept her even more occupied, especially after the Dementor attacks started again around London. By the time Elsie finally was at home alone with absolutely nothing do to, she was glad she could sleep – she didn't have time or energy to think about anything else.

Not until she got a parcel at the 10th of March. There was only a small note attached with Lisa's tiny handwriting, saying, "Sorry for choosing alone, but I'm sure you'll like it. I made it myself!"

"Oh my God!" Juliet yelled when she saw the dress in Elsie's hands. It was simple and short, navy coloured with a V-neck. "It's so beautiful."

"It is," Elsie smiled, but almost instantly, another thought slipped into her mind. It seemed Juliet was thinking about the same, as her smiled died away, too.

"So… will you still go with him?"

She thought about it for a few seconds before she shook her head as a no. "I haven't talk with him in the last two months."

"Exactly!" Juliet said excitedly. "I'm sure now both of you calmed down. Just ask him if he still wants to go. He really misses you, you know."

Elsie snapped her head up. "Did he told you that?"

Sirius," she replied. "And I know you miss him too."

"I don't," Elsie said, and even though she meant it, Juliet knew it wasn't the truth.

"Just talk to him! It won't hurt."

I wouldn't be so sure about that, Elsie thought, thinking back about their last conversation. But she stayed in silence, so Juliet went on. "They'll be in the Leaky Cauldron tonight, since today it's Remus' birthday."

Elsie didn't want to go; especially not in his birthday. She even went to bed and tried to sleep early on that night, but it was impossible while Juliet stood at her door and kept talking about why she should definitely go with her. It was deep in the night when she threw the blanket off in defeat and jumped out from the bed; Juliet was sitting in the living room in a nice dress, still waiting for her. "I knew you'll come," she grinned mischievously. "Wear something short for him, it's his birthday, after all."

Elsie shot an angry look at her before she went back to her bedroom and put on a black jeans and a white sweater. A couple minutes later they were already at the Diagon Alley, standing at the entrance of the Leaky Cauldron. Juliet opened the door and pulled her friend with herself, who still wasn't sure she should be here. Since it was a Tuesday night, the place was nearly empty; there were only three old, drunken wizard at the bar counter, discussing the latest Quiddicth match in a heated argument. A woman, who Elsie was sure was at least a part hag, was drinking some dense, black liquid from a small glass. A young man was eating a late night dinner in the middle of the place, and at the back of the bar, was a bigger group, sitting around two tables.

When Juliet spotted them, she immediately started to walk towards them, still grasping Elsie's forearm as she was sure if she'd let her go, she'd go home instantly.

Elsie was sure about it, too, but their eyes met, and she was done.

How could she think even for a single second that she got over him? She felt tears gathered in her eyes as all those feelings she buried somewhere deep in the past two months overwhelmed her now.

"I need to go to the loo," she said to Juliet just a second later they stopped next to the table; she jerked her arm away and quickly hurried across the room, closing the door behind herself. She washed her face in cold water and tried to calm herself down, and only after long minutes when she was sure she isn't going to burst into tears, she left the toilet. For her surprise, Remus was already waiting for her there; she almost jumped back as she didn't expect anyone there.

"I'm sorry," he said apologetically with a small smile. "I just wanted to check if you are okay."

"I'm fine," she lied, and changed the subject before he could asked anything else. "Happy birthday, Remus," she smiled, and hesitantly stepped closer, tiptoed up and pressed a kiss on his cheeks.

He put his hand on her upper arm and ran his palm along it slowly, grasping her hand before he let her go. "Thank you."

The corridor was dimly lit, almost completely dark, but suddenly, Elsie felt herself nervous about her look. Merlin's beard, why haven't I put any make up on? I even forget to brush my hair. She run her fingers through her locks a couple times, before she stated to fiddling with the end of her sleeves, avoiding his eyes as she spoke up.

"I wanted to ask if you still want to come with me to the wedding. I know we haven't talked in a while," she said, looking at him now, and added in a lower voice, "I missed you."

"Of course, I'd like to go with you," he replied, and firstly he didn't want to say, but it slipped out. "I missed you too."

They stood there in silence for a while. It almost started to feel awkward, until Remus spoke up again, "You look pretty."

Elsie looked up at him with raised eyebrows; her mouth fell open before she started to laugh loudly. It echoed at the empty corridor and the sound melted Remus' heart.

"I'm wearing an old pair of jeans, an oversized sweater, I just got out from bed fifteen minutes ago and I forget to brush my hair. And I don't have any make up on."

Remus nodded with a smile. "Mhm, sorry. Let me correct myself. You're beautiful."

"Oh, c'mon," she rolled her eyes after another short laugh, but thanked him after she found his eyes again.

Remus couldn't help it. Somehow the past two months were even harder without her than the two years before, and now that he saw her again, heard her laugh, made her laugh, he wanted nothing more than close his arms around her and never let her go ever again.

Without thinking more about it, he stepped closer, placed a hand on her cheek and another on her waist, pulled her closer, until their bodies were pressed against each other. He looked at her lips and she looked at his as he leaned down, closed the gap between them and kissed her slowly, gently. The deep kisses was followed by some short ones, smiling against each other's lips before their soft tongues met again. Elsie felt she could keep kissing him for hours, but she broke away from him, eyes still closed and her forehead pressed against his face.

"Remus, I…"

"I can't live without you," he cut her off quietly, causing Elsie to look at him immediately. "I just… I know I shouldn't do this, I know, but…" he pressed a short, soft kiss on her lips. "I love you."

She cupped his cheeks. "Then stop fighting about it."

The feeling of her sweet lips and her soft skin, and that damned flowery scent clouded Remus' mind. He couldn't protest anymore, no matter how wrong was this all. He couldn't push her away anymore.

Elsie's eyes lit up with happiness when she saw him nodding and smiling. For that look on her face, it's already worth it, Remus thought before she pulled his face closer and kissed him hastily. He chuckled into her mouth before slightly pulling away. "Slow down, yeah? We aren't going anywhere."

She kissed him again, slower, and they let themselves be lost in the moment until they heard the approaching, hurried footsteps. They broke the kiss and their gaze met with Lily's, whose eyes widened and her legs stopped for a second before she continued her way. "I really need to pee," she said, one hand on her swollen belly as she rushed into the ladies'.

After they went back to their table and sat down next to each other, they tried to avoid every kind of physical contact – they weren't sue that would be the best way to coming out. It still didn't take long until Remus' hand found Elsie's; their fingers intertwined, resting on her lap. It also didn't take long until Juliet noticed it – Elsie looked at her face and she could tell Juliet was screaming internally. It was a miracle she managed to leave it without a comment, especially because she was already tipsy as she had too many drinks in a short time.

Around midnight, a drunk Peter left to escort home an even more drunk Mary; Elsie shifted a yawn and stretched out her arms. "I should go too, it's late and we have a class at nine," she said, turning her face at Juliet's empty place.

"She's probably with Sirius," Remus said, nodding his head towards Sirius' empty chair. "I can walk you home if you'd like to leave."

Elsie considered his offer for a second, but she didn't want to leave her drunken friend behind without even check if she was okay. Just as she opened her mouth, Sirius plopped down next to her, almost knocking the glasses off of the table. Elsie quickly grabbed her own, half full glass.

"Have you seen my girl?"

"Aww, your girl?" she asked with a sweet voice. "I thought she was with you."

Sirius grinned proudly, but haven't told them where or what they were doing. "Yeah, she was. I just thought she already came back."

Elsie finished the remaining of her wine; maybe she shouldn't have, and maybe that was the reason the question escaped her mouth, "Will you ever tell her you're in love with her?"

Sirius raised his eyebrows, but avoided both Elsie's and Remus' eyes, fixing his gaze on his firewhisky. "I'm not in love with her."

"Yes, you are," Remus murmured, and Elsie added, "You're both so stubborn."

Raising his glasses up, Sirius almost spilled the whole drink around them as he asked, "Why, is she in love with me?"

"Are you blind? Of course she is," she said, and seeing Sirius' confused face, she continued. "No, she hasn't told anything like that to me. She'd never admit it."

Sirius fell in silence for the rest of the night, and thankfully, Juliet appeared soon too.

"Are you okay? Where were you?" Elsie asked in concern, and Juliet said something like she lost her knickers, but she was slurring her words and rested her head on the table. Sirius whispered something in her ear that made the blonde girl laugh and lifting her head up from the table.

After they all agreed on they should go home, they left the pub and said their goodbyes on the empty, dimly lit street. Remus kissed Elsie one last time and promised her he'll visit her on the weekend, before the two girls walked out from the alley – Juliet clutching on her friend for some support.

Sirius lit a cigarette and seemed like he was still brooding, but stepped away from them after Lily shot an angry look at him as he blew out the smoke too closely to her.

"So you and Elsie… are you together again?" James asked slowly and uncertainty, but a smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

Remus nodded. "It seems like we are."

"Fucking finally," Sirius added from the background.

"Okay, let me ask you something," Lily started, her eyebrows furrowed in anger. "What the hell are you doing, Remus"?

Both James and Remus looked at him questioningly, her voice loud. "Am I really the only one who uses her right mind here? Remus, you Obliviated her, or did you forget about that?"

"No, I didn't," he answered bitterly.

"Then I seriously can't understand what you are thinking! Are you planning to build your relationship on a lie? And continue lying to her… until what? Something happens that you don't like and you'll Obliviate her again?"

"Lily…" James placed his hand on her arm, but Lily stepped closer to Remus.

"What do you think I should do, then? Tell her everything? Remus shouted now, too.

Lily shook her head. "It doesn't really matter anymore, because whatever you're doing, you'll hurt her. Keep it as a secret, but it will turn out sooner or later. Or yes, tell her now, and she'll never going to trust in anyone again," she turned her voice down, but her green eyes were filled with fury. "You shouldn't have…"

"Don't tell me what I shouldn't have done, okay? I can't take it back!"

"Okay now, both of you," James started, stepping between the shouting Remus and Lily. "Calm down."

Lily watched Remus for a long second in silence before she added quietly, "Fix this somehow."

All the joy Remus felt in the past couple of hours disappeared. Once again, he was inches from losing her for good – who would ever forgive something like that? He walked home with Sirius without saying a single word, and from his silence, Remus knew Sirius agreed with Lily.