Love and Found
Trapped in his arms, her mind wandered again. She thought about her life and what it would be like if she accepted. She had no doubt that she wanted him, and him her. But she knew that he didn't love her, he was only obsessed with her. And that wouldn't be enough to keep her.
Well, he may love me, but not like Angel. No one can love me like that. And no matter what, I have to remember that He isn't Angel. And I would never love him, not completely. Because he isn't my soul's mate, I'm just his demons mate. I wonder how that happened; it didn't seem like it before when he was 'out'. He only wanted to drive me insane and kill me, or at least that's what he wanted me to think. I'm fairly sure that he was just acting, it seemed like that when I saw it all again at least. I hope that he will let me go; I have to get back to Dawn. And Angel's son, hum, I wonder if he can tell me anything. Of course anything he say's I'll have to take with a grain of salt. But maybe he'll tell me the truth, and I can always ask the others when I get back. I guess it couldn't hurt; I just have to remember not to really believe anything until I talk to Wesley.
"So you want me to stay with you…forever."
"Why yes I think that is my idea." He said smirking; she could even hear it in his words.
"But if I stay with you then I can't kill the beast. And he'll destroy the world, with us in it, and I'm fairly sure I'm going back to heaven, while you'll go back to hell."
She turned in his arms, "So that won't really work, now will it." Smiling up at him she saw him realize the down side of his 'bargain'. "How about I just come and see you and you tell me everything?" She asked, still smiling.
He looked down at her and saw her mirth, his smirk came back as he replied, "But then you'll just go away and never see me again, no I don't think so. You have to do more than just see me, besides you know you want to join me."
Laughing slighting Buffy shook her head, "No… I think I like it on the other side of the bars." Now there's an idea…I wonder.
"So you won't join me? Ah well, didn't think it would work. Well you have to do something, what will you do?"
"I'm impressed. Before, you wouldn't have realized that you don't know what I'm capable of doing. Let alone if I'll do something or not." She shifted in his arms again, trying to put an inch between them.
He seemed to realize this and pulled her tighter, getting a glare from her. "Fine, I won't try to breath." At that he relaxed his hold slightly, murmuring that she need only to ask.
Softly she said, "I can come and sit with you…out side of the cage, but I'll be close. Not this close, but still closer than any of the others are willing to go. You can hold me, and be with me for two hours. Is that ok?"
Growling softly he said, "I suppose."
Smiling she said, "Good! Now I have a question for you." At his look she added, "It's not about the beast or anything. It's about your son."
Looking down at her he smirked again, "Ah I see you met the little boy. He can be quite a pain. You should try to lose him when you get back, so that he won't follow you around like a lost puppy."
"Why? He doesn't seem that bad, he actually looked sorry for telling me that he was your son. And I don't mean just the fact that he hates you and Angel, I mean that he knew it hurt me. In fact I wouldn't be here talking to you if he didn't say something to me, well Dawn actually but still."
She looked him in the eye and her face became serious, "Do you want to know what he told me? If he didn't say anything I would still be lost in my mind, and you wouldn't be able to reach me. So do you want to know, so that you can thank him later?"
He looked in her eyes and saw that she wasn't lying; his son had said something that had calmed his mates mind. Well might as well know, so that I can determine if I should kill him slowly or not. Hum, maybe if he can help my mate, and he is my heir, maybe I shouldn't kill him. I'll wait and see.
Out loud he said, "Why not. I doubt it will change my feelings for the boy, but it can't hurt to know if he's being good."
Smirking slightly Buffy leaned in and whispered in his ear, "Forever, that's the whole point."
Pulling back to where she was before she looked at him and continued, "He told us that his dad told him once, when he was upset with him, that the women he loved once sent him to hell. But that he still loved her, he said that his dad said, 'forever, that's the whole point.' And that is what calmed my mind, the thought and knowledge that Angel still loves me. That he will always love me, because I will always love him."
With a snarl Angelus threw her away from him and started to pace. Buffy looked up at him from her seat on the floor and watched him. When he hadn't stopped after the 10th round she sighed. "I didn't think it would upset you this much."
He glared at her and asked through clenched teeth. "Why? Why do you always have to bring him into everything? He's gone and still you cling to him. Why can't you cling to me?" he stopped as soon as he realized what he had said. I can't believe I just said that.
I can't believe he just said that! "What do you mean? You want me to wish that you were here, and not Angel? I may be drawn to you but I don't love you. I don't know if I ever can, love entails trust and I don't trust you with anything. You have given me no reason to, so why do you want me to love you? I just can't…this isn't happening, why…no please…" With that her mind gave out and she fainted.
Angelus had gone back to pacing, when he realized that she had stopped talking and looked over at her. He ran to her when he saw that she had passed out.
"Buff, come on. Wake up, you can't stay in here forever, you need to wake up so you can go save the world." Seeing that this wasn't doing anything he just sat with her in his lap. Oh god, you can't stay in your mind, love. I need you out there, with me, or even with him. Please wake up!
He didn't know what to do so he just started talking, "I can't believe it's been a year since soul boy left you again. It took me by surprise that he did, on the way there he just kept thinking of how he was going to never let you leave his sight again.
"But then when he got there and saw you, he realized that he had to let you go. It wasn't time yet for you to be together, of course I was screaming at him that he was an idiot. I kept yelling at him that you're ours and look what happened when we weren't there to protect you. You go and sacrifice your self for your sister and the world.
"We almost died that day, when Willow came and told us. He almost went out to greet the day, and I was going to let him. If it weren't for his friends and yours, he would have. But your little sis, she ran to him and yelled at him. You would be proud of her; she's becoming more like you by the day.
"Do you know what she told us? Of course you do, you're the one who told it to her. But it took him, and me, by surprise; she told us that strong is living. And he knew that if he wanted to be with you one day, it couldn't end like that. So here we are, still here and waiting for the time when we will be able to be with you… forever."
As Angelus was talking, Buffy heard him, but she also heard someone else. It was Angel's son, he was talking to Dawn. She listened to both and tried to wake up.
But it was so hard, so she waited until something happened. She didn't know what it was exactly that she was waiting for, but she knew that when it happened, she would wake. And then she heard it, they both seemed to say the same thing and that triggered her to wake.
Only she didn't just wake to see Angelus, she skipped to waking in her body. And the word was the first thing on her lips, "Forever…"
But Angelus didn't know that she wouldn't come back to him, one minute he's talking to her. And the next she's gone. Her body shimmered and then vanished.
He knew what it meant; she went back to her body. And though he was glad that she wouldn't be stuck here, he didn't want her to leave him yet. Then he felt himself return to his own mind. When he opened his eyes he let out a snarl and a frustrated cry.
Upstairs they all looked around not knowing what just happened with Angelus and Buffy. But they would find out soon, as when Buffy got back, Angelus wasn't going to let her forget their deal.
Tada! Look at that I updated! Yah me! Anyway, I know it's short. (Or maybe you don't notice, or care how long or short it is. But I do) I don't know why but I don't seem to be able to write a lot with Buffy and Angelus. I guess it's cause I don't know if my version of Angelus is good or not (as in realistic). I know Angelus is really sappy in this, but just think Passions and it works! But I guess it's not that bad. The next chapter should be longer.
Just in case you didn't know, the last few chapters happened at the same time. This next one will be about Dawn and Connor right before, and as, Buffy is waking. IMPORTANT! I'm planning on changing the name of this fic. It will change to Finding the Light. The next update will have its new name at the top and then again down here. I just want everyone to know that after that it will not be Thoughts of Souls. Thank you. Ok then, bye Kat
