Another bleedin' disclaimer. Usual stuff, I don't own the various universes and characters used here, this is not for profit, just for entertainment, and so on, and so on. Specifically, I don't own Megatokyo or the TPCD, Piro does, but I do enjoy reading about them.
-Chapter 7-
It felt good to be home.
Between one crisis and another, as well as training the recruits, it had been most of a year since Nanoha had set foot in Japan. She'd kept up with the family as well as she could with email and the occasional real letter, but she'd missed them. She'd told them about Vivio, though they hadn't had a chance to meet yet. Once this little crisis was dealt with, she and Fate would have to take some leave and fix that.
It had been longer since Fate had set foot in this country, the first place she could remember where someone other than her familiar had cared about her as a person, not a thing, a weapon or a proof-of-concept. It was good to be back.
They had discussed the matter on the way to Earth, and a quick email had confirmed it. Despite the urgency of the mission, they were going to enjoy a pleasant dinner and visit with Nanoha's family before teleporting to Tokyo and heading off to Nerima to find this Ranma fellow. Who knew when they'd manage to get back to earth again, as hectic as their lives were these days.
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The sun was vanishing behind the skyscrapers as the two made their way across town to Nerima. The streets were crowed, as they always were in Tokyo, but the crowds were pleasant and quiet. At some small, unspoken decision, the two decided to take a shortcut through a park, enjoying the patch of greenery after spending so long on a starship. A starship to which they would soon be returning, but still, they were quite enjoying this pleasant evening. The mission could wait until they reached Nerima. For now they had pea-
"Ooho! Hi there pretty ones!" a loud, cackling voice preceded a small blur of motion and a gust of wind. Suddenly, about twenty feet ahead of them a small troll-like figure stood, rubbing a pair of panties against the side of his face.
Nanoha and Fate were speachless for a moment as they watched the odd figure. Then, shock wearing off, Nanoha recognized the undergarmet in question and blushed crimson. "H-hey! What are you doing!" she spluttered.
The troll leered at them, then stuffed the panties in a small sack, and vanished in a blur of motion. Half expecting it, the two young women tried to dodge the rush of the perverted force of nature, but fruitlessly. Small, knowing, grubby hands groped both of them in a split second as he made off with their bras this time, tweaked a nipple, started bounding away across Tokyo, conveniently in the direction of Nerima.
They stood for a moment, shaking in impotent fury, then exchanged glances and nods. Urgency of the mission be damned. That little troll was going to die.
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The latest in a series of rapid explosions rattled Usagi's windows as she dug furiously through her drawers for her henshin rod. Even halfway across the city she could feel the raw magical power of most of those blasts; who or whatever this youma was, the Senshi would face it and hopefully head off its rampage before any civilians got hurt. Her communicator started beeping at her. Probably one of the others, trying to co-ordinate their attack. She snatched it up. "Usagi here."
"Usagi! Hurry up!" It was Rei, impatient as usual.
"Trying to find my rod. Almost ready."
Rei snorted. "Just hurry up, we need to get moving before that youma kills someone. This one's throwing around a lot more power than usual."
"I know, Rei, I can feel those blasts from here, same as you! I'm looking as fast as I can." Burried amid the socks she found the rod. "Got it, I'll be right there."
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Happosai cackled with maniac glee. He'd not been so happy to have guessed wrong about something in years. He'd figured the two for magical girls at first glance, their ki had that feel, but he'd vastly underestimated their power. Their defences were quite good now that they were trying to kill him, and he basked in their auras as the blonde one swept in, scythe swinging for his head. She was easily the faster of the two, too fast for him to snag her empowered undergarments on the fly, but as much as he loved magical panties, he almost didn't care. This was the best fight he'd had in ages.
The brunette launched another volley of energy blasts his way. He managed to dodge them, and replied with a bomb. Before he'd grasped how powerful these two were, he'd taken one of those blasts to the chest. It had been telling, almost ending the battle early, but he'd recovered himself. And now he was having the time of his perverted life. Once more he tried to close with the white-clad woman, shrouding himself in the umisenken. He was ever so grateful that his normally useless student had created that little trick, and that his spine had been sufficiently flimsy that he'd been able to convince Genma to teach it to him with only a little threatening. In an instant, she ceased her barrage and threw up a shield, a burst of ki changed his jump to get him around it and, even as she realized he was inside her guard, cackling with glee he caught hold of a shapely thigh and snatched away her lovely panties.
"HENTAI!" she shouted, crossing her legs and blushing in rage and embarrasment. As the black-clad one raced to intercept him, she bellowed something and started charging up another blast. He dodged a scythe-swipe, reached fruitlessly for lacy black underthings, and waited for the telltale shout of 'Axel Shooter' that had preceded the magical girl's previous volleys. He waited a moment longer, absently dodging a smaller blast from the blonde, and realized that the brunette was still charging up whatever she was about to throw his way.
He noted, with suddenly growing concern, that the blonde was not hurtling towards him for another slash, nor was she charging an attack of her own. Instead she had taken a position just below the brunette, scythe held ready, her expression practically daring him to make another panty-grab pass. Energy was gathering at the tip of the white-clad girl's staff, intense enough that even someone with no magical skill whatsoever would be able to see it.
Happosai, posessing some small skill with magic and centuries of experience being on the recieving end of it, was flatly terrified by the raw power the young woman had gathered.
"DIVINE...." shouted the woman in white.
Happosai realized that his chance to dodge had passed. All he could do was try to block. This was going to be painful.
"BUSTER!"
A beam of raw, incadescent power flared from the magical staff's tip, streaking towards him laser-straight. His hastily thrown-up ki shield protected him for less than a second, then he was at the blast's mercy, hammered into the pavement. After a few seconds, the blast subsided. He felt as though he had been hit by a speeding semi-truck or two. What a woman...
Satisfaction drowned Nanoha's fury as she glared at the defeated little monster. His sack of 'valuables' had been torn open by her blast, scattering assorted underwear across most of a city block, and his black ninja outfit was in tatters. From a distance, he seemed to be out cold but not in danger of immediate death. She took a moment to will her outfit to repair itself. She and Fate exchanged satisfied nods, and proceded to land.
The senshi had only caught the tail end of the fight, but they had been amazed at what they'd seen. And the two strangers – other human magic users, though Ami's computer was having fits trying to classify their abilities. That said, it was a magic roughly similar to their own, and given what they'd just done, she doubted they were evil. Usagi and Makoto exchanged glances, then started applauding. The strangers turned towards them as the other senshi joined in.
"Thanks! We've been trying to take that creep down for months." Usagi was smiling widely.
The one in white smiled. "It wasn't by choice, but I doubt he'll be doing anything like that in the near future."
The senshi approached, Usagi exteneded a hand. "Sailor Moon."
The young woman in white shook it. "Nanoha Takamachi."
"What brings you to Tokyo? I can't remember seeing you here before."
"On a mission, we need to recruit some help from a local."
Rei spoke up, "Anything we can do? We owe you for taking down that creep."
"We're not looking for firepower, we're searching for someone and need a specific local's help to do it. Yourselves?"
"We live here. Short term, we protect the city from youma or monsters. Long term we're trying to restore the Moon Kingdom and bring in a second Silver Millenium."
"Well. Best of luck to you. We're under a bit of time pressure." Nanoha bowed slightly, her dark-clad companion did the same. Usagi and the other senshi returned the bow, watched as the two walked off and rounded a corner.
In low tones Makoto asked, "Are you sure it was wise telling them about our goals? We don't exactly know anything about them."
Usagi shrugged. "I think they're on our side. And even if they were Dark Kingdom goons, I didn't exactly say anything they didn't already know."
"True enough. Let's head home, we've lost enough sleep tonight."
The Senshi needed a moment to get their bearings – they'd rushed here in a sort of 'follow the explosions' style. They'd seldom come to Nerima on business before, Youma never seemed to show up here. The occasional false alarm, sure, but when they arrived on the scene, there was never any evidence of Youma to be found. They'd taken to writing off any and all alerts here as false alarms unless they got a strong, lasting signal.
It had been months since they'd gotten an actual signal.
Amy found a route for them, and they bounded off, heading home and calling tonight a general victory for decent folk in general and young ladies in particular.
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Their files on Ranma Saotome were almost as sparse as the ones on Hibiki, but they included an address and a cryptic note that his romantic life was 'complicated.' The address turned out to be a good sized, traditional looking Dojo. Two people stood on the roof, a teenaged boy and girl in gis, watching the streets with concern. Almost simultaneously they both locked eyes on Nanoha and Fate, his expression one of concern, hers brifely the same, then shifting to one of anger. The male matched the photo on file for Saotome.
Ranma's eyes widened involuntarily as the two strangers floated from the streets with no apparent effort. Powerful magical girls. Joy. Akane was tense beside him, fear draining into anger as they watched the two strangers float towards them. Ranma couldn't blame her, he was more than a bit frightened of what these two could do, and if it came to a fight, an angry Akane would be more use than a terrified one. Though he was fairly sure that fear was fueling the anger.
After a moment, they were floating just off the roof. "Uh.. Hi."
The one in white bowed slightly. "I am Nanoha Takamachi of the Time/Space Administration Bureau. Are you Ranma Saotome?"
"Uh, yeah. What do you want?" He was uncomfortably aware of the glare Akane was giving him.
"We need your help to deal with a situation. An associate of yours, Ryoga Hibiki, is creating a series of disruptions in space-time."
Ranma's eyes narrowed at the mention of Ryoga's name. What had he done now? He glanced away from the two at the sound of approaching sirens. "Why don't we discuss this inside?" He was fairly sure everyone was awake by now anyway.
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Inspector Sonoda was not happy. The week had been going well, no incidents of any real note. No major events scheduled for almost a month, the Tokyo Police Cataclysm Division was in a rare position of finding its work boring. They were even blessedly under budget. Until tonight.
Still, the TPCD took pride in its work, and the trail of destruction was being repaired fairly quickly. They knew it was some kind of MG attack, though they couldn't tell who yet. A completely unsheduled event, likely perpetrated by an unlicensed MG. The paperwork on this was going to be a bitch. They had neared the end of the trail of property damage, and a picture of the chain of events was taking form. Amid the scattered chunks of asphalt were several smaller, lacier things, radiating out from a crater in the middle of the street.
Sonoda grimaced and walked up to the crater. If the panties were still there then the bastard was probably still unconscious. Sure enough, the diminutive marshal arts master was lying amidst the debris, still out cold.
The Inspector thought hard for a moment, considering his options. Another TPCD agent arrived behind him, riding his patrol mecha. "Want us to just pour the concrete on top of him?"
"Tempting. Very tempting." Sonoda considered it for a long moment. The little monster created enough havoc that they'd probably not get into too much trouble for it... "Better not. With our luck he'd just smash his way out of it. Think of the budget."
The agent nodded, his mecha kneeled and reached down. As he lifted Happosai out of the crater he asked, "Any particular place you want me to put him?"
"Toss him anywhere," said Sonoda, then he grinned lopsidedly and continued. "Aim for the bay."
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Akane Tendo was not happy. The strangers were damnably powerful and with motivations that were unclear. They could fly. The last time she saw someone who could fly, it was Saffron, who had come within inches of killing her. Two beings that powerful was frightening. Not that she would ever admit to fear. Not that she'd even feel it! And thus, as she stood there not-afraid of these strangers, she unconsciously pushed the fear out of her mind. It had to go somewhere. By instinct she pushed it into anger- from which she could draw ki-strength, as Ranma drew on confidence and Ryoga despair.
Whoever these two... harlots were, and whatever they were capable of, it didn't excuse Ranma's blatant flirting. To say nothing about her sisters! Kasumi was serving another round of tea, smiling politely; Nabiki was wearing that damnable sly grin of hers. Father and Genma weren't helping, practicly half asleep as they listened to the two strange women flirt with Ranma.
Where did he get off, doing things like that? Didn't he care that she was right here, listening to him? For that mater, given how certain he was that their little destructive rampage involved crushing Happosai, why was he being polite? Happosai was one of Ranma's masters in the Anything Goes school, he should be trying to defeat them, not chat them up! She understood her father and Genma letting something like that slide, they were both incredibly lazy, but she expected better of Ranma. And they were so crass! So rude! They had already said outright that they wanted to take Ranma with them somewhere. Why, by the Kamis, was she the only one not happy about this?
"So Ryoga's always getting lost because of some kind of curse?" Ranma thought he was so subtle in his flirting, in his leering, eyes dancing over them and talking about their little excuse for visiting.
"Yes. It appears to be hereditary, and growing stronger over the last few generations. It hadn't really caused any real problems for the last century or so, however." The brunette, who called herself Nanoha, had done most of the talking so far. The blonde, Fate, had mostly just introduced herself and gave all of them appraising looks. The almost contemptuous dismissal on her face as she'd sized up Akane had nearly set her off, especially as that appraising expression fixed itself on Ranma and stayed there. For now, Akane would be polite to the magically powered hussy, though she would do well to avoid any dark alleys in Nerima in the future. Akane intended to correct her assessment one dark night.
"And he moved an entire ship with this curse? That's crazy."
"Multiple times. That is what brought the situation to the Bureau's attention initially." Nanoha took a sip of tea, nodding politely to Kasumi.
The blonde spoke up, "Since then, he's moved on from the ship in question, and we're not sure where. On his own, he's hard to track, and we want to find him quickly, before he creates even more problems." Oh, she was good. She sounded so reasonable. Akane figured it was time to jam a stick into the spokes.
"And you need Ranma's help why, exactly?" she asked in a perfectly level and reasonable tone.
Ranma's expression was pained, Nanoha looked like she'd just been shouted at. Good, they had reason to feel guilty, the shameless toads.
The blonde, expression carefully neutral, replied, "Because Ranma and Ryoga are longstanding associates, their, for lack of a better term, fates are intertwined." Oh, she must have thought herself slick, playing her little word games and betting that no-one would be the wiser. "With Ranma as a focus for our scans, we should be able to track Ryoga, and hopefully catch up to him before he causes any more incidents."
"What do you plan to do once you find him?" Damn him. Flirting like a fool. Akane's teeth ground as she glared death at him.
"We'll return him here, after having getting some of our specialists to remove his curse so he can't cause future incidents."
Akane's face fell as Ranma and Genma's lit up. She'd lost this now.
"Wait, you have a way to remove curses?" Ranma's voice was ferverant, full of interest. At least he wasn't flirting anymore, but that was cold comfort.
"Yes. The Bureau's technologies can manipulate many kinds of magic; and we have several mages who specialize in curses. Even if we can't remove it outright, we should be able to weaken it enough that it shouldn't pose a problem." No, no, a thousand times no... by the gods she would going to lose him to this. To these sluts. She was torn between wailing in dispair and trying to kill them all.
"So..." Ranma glanced around the table, seized a glass of water. "Are we only talking about removing Ryoga's curse here, or could I get a curse removed as my payment?"
Nanoha and Fate exchanged glances, then nods. Nanoha said, "That sounds reasonable. What kind of curse are you talking about here?"
Ranma upended the glass over his head, shook the excess water from her hair as the two magical girls gasped in surprise. "This kind of curse. I got it when I fell in a cursed spring at a place called Jusenkyo in China. Warm water changes me back." Thoughtfully, Kasumi went to the kitchen, retrieved a pot that had been heating for the next round of tea. Nodding gratefully, Ranma changed back.
"I think something like that could be arranged, yes."
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Ranma was staring through the ship's observation port, his expression one of genuine wonder, as he watched Earth circle majestically below. Even the teleport hadn't quite prepared him to look at his homeworld from space. He knew he probably looked like an idiot to these people, who lived and worked in space, but he couldn't bring himself to care. The two magical girls were reporting in; they would be leaving to parts unknown shortly. He had a feeling that this was going to be far, far stranger than his average journey.
Kamis, strange as his journey was going to be, what was Ryoga's like? Hopping planets was something the martial artist could barely get his head around. Hopping dimensions he didn't want to even try and think about. How smart was his curse? Would it drop him in the middle of an ocean somewhere? Over a volcano? Hell, deep space? And even if it was kind enough to only toss him onto planets, what if it picked one where the natives were tough enough to take him down and liked pork? He was genuinely worried for the dumb pig.
He wondered where Ryoga had wound up, and hoped it wasn't too hostile.
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Ryoga focused briefly on the chunk of oak before him, then with practiced ease split it with a fingertip. He took a moment to break down the pieces into wood-stove size, tossed them onto the pile.
He hadn't had any local coin, and the innkeeper looked at his yen and refused to even consider taking them. Lucky for Ryoga, the old man had a woodpile that needed some work before winter. He'd been splitting wood for a couple hours now, making good progress and smelling a downright tasty-smelling stew cook up in the kitchen. It had been a while since Ryoga had done something like this, but after the last couple weeks, this was downright normal.
Even considering that this place seemed downright medieval in most ways. He thought of the outhouse and shuddered. At least he wasn't in freakin' space anymore. He shuddered, realizing how close he'd come to an indiscriminate, panicked breaking-point frenzy that would have dumped him into vacuum. Damn Ranma for getting him into this mess. Ryoga hadn't quite figured out how Ranma'd done this to him, but he knew in his heart it was his fault. Probably worked a deal with a sorcerer or something to make his curse worse, as if the aquatranssexual hadn't already done enough to screw up his life. The next time he ran into Ranma, he was going to beat him to within an inch of his rotten life.
He lobbed another quartered log onto the pile, stretched. It had been a long day. Just then, the innkeeper popped out the back door. The older man looked at the woodpile and whistled. "Well now! You don't do things by half, do ya boy?" Ryoga smiled at the compliment. He'd developed a flair for languages over the years thanks to this blasted curse, and it was coming in handy now: this guy was speaking a language that was similar to English, but not quite the same. He'd picked up the differences fairly quickly on the road, and was doing OK now.
The fanged boy shrugged. "You asked me to work the woodpile, so I worked the woodpile. Why wouldn't I get as much as I could?"
The man smiled. "Not complaining lad. Gods, I wish I could find more like you! You've more than earned a nights stay and a meal, lad. Hell, probably dulled the axe!" He looked around, saw the axe was neither in the stump that served as a chopping block nor in Ryoga's hand, blinked, then saw that it was still hanging from a pair of nails on the side of the building, still at the odd angle it had been that morning. There was a long, thoughtful moment of silence as he looked from the axe, to Ryoga's hands, to the woodpile, and back. Ryoga shifted uncomfortably. The innkeeper shook himself, turned back to Ryoga. "Come on in, we'll get you fed."
He washed up in a wooden sink with harsh soap and lukewarm water. Wherever – or, as might be more appropriate, whenever – this place was, it was stuck in the middle ages. Still, the food smelled good and he was hungry enough not to care all that much – and he had to admit, his own cooking gear wasn't all that clean itself most of the time. After washing he picked a spot in the common room, and settled in to something the cook, a pleasant, plump woman with dimples, called a 'trencher' – a loaf of brown bread hollowed out and filled with stew. It was simple but very filling. He'd hesitated when the innkeeper offered him mead – he didn't handle alcohol that well – but given how medieval everything else was, the water might not actually be safe to drink. He'd just be careful.
He was enjoying a slight buzz and a full stomach about an hour later, and all was right with the world, when he heard the door open. Then-
"OOOOOOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!"
Ryoga froze. He only knew one person with a laugh like that. Kodachi Kuno. What in the name of the kamis was Kodachi doing here? He turned to the door and looked up. And up. And – with effort – further up. This wasn't Kodachi. She was too tall, too leggy, too buxom. Ryoga's eyes tried to drift back down, to look at the lady's tremendous bosom, barely held in place by a dark blue bikini top. Nestled between them was a skull-shaped pendant on a string of polished gemstones. Spiky metal shoulderpads held up a purple cloak, and a long sword perched on her shapely hips.
Ryoga knew he was staring, felt a trickle of blood start to run from his nose. He knew he should stop staring, knew that this way lay madness and female-caused pain and death. He couldn't bring himself to care.
The raven-haired stranger spoke. "Rejoice, innkeeper! For the great and lovely Naga the White Serpent has chosen your establishment for her nightly meal and lodgings!" Then she laughed again. That snapped Ryoga out of it, it was a terribly grating laugh.
Faintly, he heard the innkeeper swear under his breath. Then, aloud, "You do us great honor, noble sorceress."
With a gait that could only be described as a stalk, she moved to a table. "Your finest food and drink, innkeeper! And quickly!" Ryoga caught himself staring again. He shook himself – it was a bad habit to get into, especially in Nerima, where most of the beautiful women were more than capable of introducing him to a world of mayhem, pain and suffering. It was another thing to hate Ranma for – he'd managed to get engaged to far too many of them. It just wasn't fair.
The innkeeper brought over a pitcher of alcahol and some food. "And are you accompanied by your... companion?"
The sorceress shook her head, sniffed as if offended. "No," she said, with a trace of irritation, "Lina Inverse has ended our partnership." Brightly, "She probably tired of constantly failing to measure up to my beauty, intellect, and power."
The innkeeper looked relieved. He said smiled and bowed, scurried back to the kitchen.
Ryoga thought for a moment. This woman piqued his curiosity, but she carried herself like a noblewoman, and would almost certainly ignore any questions he might ask. Besides, horrid laugh or no, she was stunningly beautiful and he'd almost certainly make a fool of himself if he tried to talk to her. Scooping up his cleared plate, he walked back to the kitchen. "So who's the stranger?"
The innkeeper glanced at him. "You've never heard of Naga the White Serpent?"
"Nope. I'm not from around here."
"She's a notoriously dangerous and unperdictable sorceress. She follows – used to follow, I guess, another sorceress named Lina Inverse. From the stories, Lina never wanted her around, but they'd destroy bandit camps and fight monsters, though it was always a toss up who was going to do more damage- the monsters or the sorceresses. But they were always hell on bandits, so we lived with 'em. Though if Lina's broken up their little partnership, I'd say that means she's run off and Naga can't track her."
The two shared a smirk. "Was it this Lina you were worried about when she came in? I notice you've calmed down since finding out she isn't here."
"Lina's temper is shorter. Naga probably won't take offence to some innocent comment and blow the place up."
"...Probably."
"Yes."
"And you're letting her in why?"
The old man just smiled tiredly. "Would you like to tell her to leave after what I just told you?"
Ryoga started to respond, stopped himself, and took a long, measuring look at the sorceress. He wouldn't fear another martial artist, but a magic user was a different story. He'd been on the receiving end of magic before, and it hadn't been fun. And if she was half as powerful as the innkeeper was implying... His rarely-felt instincts of self-preservation kicked in, and he turned back to the innkeeper. "Nope. I'll just be my usual, inoffensive self."
"Smart lad. If you help with the dishes, too, we'll give you some coin when you leave tomorrow."
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"...And other than the incident with the thief, the contact went as planned. Saotome is apparently suffering from a polymorphing curse, which he would like removed as payment."
Fate paused in her report as her brother, Chrono said, "That sounds reasonable. I'll make sure HQ is aware before you get back. You should send us a scan if you can."
"Of course." The siblings shared a conspiratorial smile. Fate had been looking forward to the chance to work with her brother when she'd been assigned to this case, and had been rather annoyed when she'd learned that he'd been taken off of it. She hated politics and its myriad ways to prevent them from doing their jobs effectively. Her orders included reporting to the Admiralty, since they were using one of the Navy's frigates for transport. They hadn't said she had to report directly to the Admiralty, and thus she was reporting via her brother. He'd done the groundwork for the investigation, and if nothing else, he deserved to be kept up to date on it. "Oh, one more thing, Chrono. Just after Nanoha defeated the thief, a group of local mages introduced themselves, to thank us."
Chrono tried and failed to hide a smirk. Fate's description of the attack and theft had been vague. He'd lived in Japan for several months. Between that, some of the stories he'd heard from Hayate and Nahoha, and Fate's body language, he'd gathered a rough idea of what the thief had stolen. "Not all that surprising, though I'm a bit surprised you found a group of mages on Earth."
"It does seem to attract a lot of oddities and power for such a backwater."
"Was there something special about this group?"
"Yes. One of them, identifying herself as Sailor Moon, said they were working to restore a 'Moon Kingdom' and a 'Silver Millennium.' I can't quite place the two terms, but I know I've heard them before."
"They ring a bell for me too." Chrono frowned. "I'll ask Yuuno to see what he can find in the Infinite Library."
"Thank you, brother. Give my love to mother."
"I will. Stay safe."
