Okay! I am very sorry about the major delay with updating here! I wasn't really sure where to go with this story and also really life meant work has been hectic! However, I think I have finally decided on the rest of the plot and I am happy to be back writing again Here's a short chapter to keep you going until a hopefully quicker update! Hope you enjoy…
Ruth was now completely confused. She was not used to being unable to understand and interrupt direct information, yet her brain seemed unwilling to function. "Give me what?" she finally stammered.
"This." Erin slide a small folded piece of paper across the desk and all at once everything that had clouded her ability to understand suddenly seemed to crash into place. Ruth reached out a shaking finger and traced the slanted lettering that broke to crisp fold of the letter. Dumbfound she looked to Erin. "You?" she realised. "It was you who helped him?"
Slowly Erin nodded her head. "Yes Ruth. It was me. I'm sorry"
"Why?"
Erin sighed and her lips curled pitifully into a wan smile. "Harry Pearce is a good man and he doesn't deserve to be thrown to the dogs."
"How?"
Erin's eyes clouded with memories as she recalled the previous few weeks.
"I went to see Harry before the tribunal. It had been hinted that if the worst were to happen I would be appointed his replacement and while grateful for such promotion, I could not help but want to help the man. I have followed his career with such admiration for so long now and I could not see him thrown out into the cold because of this ridiculous tribunal! However, he seemed to think there was no point. He said 'it was his turn' to be chewed up and spat out." Ruth blanched slightly at the recognition of her own stupidity. Noticing her shift of discomfort, Erin raised her eyebrow. Ruth nodded her head, determined to hear what was coming. "Then, that morning, last week, he called to say something had changed and that he couldn't let them anymore and did my offer still stand? He walked to his regular pick up point and I … well… picked him up."
Ruth blinked away the tears that had formed in her eyes. There were so many questions she needed to ask. Where was he? Was he alright? Was the letter his last goodbye? However, the swell of emotion rising steadily in her stomach only permitted two words from her quivering lips, before she began sobbing uncontrollable. "Thank you."
Erin watched on as the woman in front of her shook and sobbed with a fresh wave of feelings and emotions and understood, in that instant, what had changed for Harry Pearce. She could see the relief wash over her tense shoulders. She could sense the memories that that slanted handwriting had brought to the forefront of her mind. And she knew that now was the time. "He said I had to wait for the right time." Erin offered, once Ruth's crying has subsided somewhat.
"Timing is everything" Ruth retorted, absentmindedly.
"He thought you'd say that" Erin smirked. "He was adamant that I give you time to grieve. He said it was a promise that was long overdue." Ruth's heart collapsed entirely and she dropped her eyes to the familiar handwriting on the desk in front of her. She felt like an expectant child at Christmas who was scared to look inside the box in case that was the best part of the present. She was scared of what the letter would say. She couldn't hear another goodbye. She did not want to see the 'might-have-beens' of their relationship there in black and white. She did not want to hear that he was coping fine without her. As selfish as it seemed, she hoped he too was unable to sleep or eat. That he too spent every hour of everyday thinking of her- wondering what she was doing at that very moment, wishing that he was back safe in her arms.
Seeing the dilemma play plainly across her drawn features, Erin lent forward and gently urged "Just open it and find out."
She did.
Dear Ruth,
My dear Ruth. I am writing this as I am watching you sleep. You look so peaceful. So beautiful. So perfect. At this moment, I am not sure I will ever be able to tear myself away from your side- yet we both know I must. We both know I will.
I won't put you in danger Ruth. Not to save me. Not again. I hope you know I love you too much to ever see you in harms way and however painful that may be, at least I will know you are safe.
I am left in little doubt that when you read this you will try and find me and I must, once more, ask the impossible of you. Please don't. Please just leave it as something that was never done. We both know this is for the best.
You made a promise to me that you would not ask me to stay here, with you, but now, as I feel your delicate heart beat against my own, I fear it will be more painful if you simply let me go. Why have things never been simple with us? Why have we always found it so impossible to love each other?
I do love you though Ruth and I believe, as foolish as it may be, that you love me too. I need you to know that I will always love you, I always have and I always will. You will be with me always and I give you my heart to cherish as your own for evermore.
I lost you once already Ruth, but I fear this time it will be the last. I know I can't go through it again and I would not wish that heartache for you either. As a beautiful, intelligent and gentle woman once said, I think it's time to let me go.
All my love,
Your Harry xx
Ruth read the letter over and over again as tears spilled from her eyes and dropped little droplets on to the crisp paper. She stared at the words on the page as if willing them to become clear inside her head., as if willing their message to finally get through to her thoughts. However, each word just seemed to puncture her heart violently on every read and it was all she could do to remain seated upright.
She had completely forgotten that Erin was still present, until the brunette spoke softly, "You know what it's like, don't you?"
Ruth raised her head in sudden surprise and stared blankly at her.
"You know how it feels to love someone more than anything else. You know that you will always do anything and everything for that someone, regardless of the price."
Ruth felt fresh tears stream from her wide eyes as she nodded her head in heavy agreement.
"I'm sorry for you Ruth. I know the burden it can be to carry."
There was a silence in which Ruth finally raised her sullen eyes to face Erin. Both women did not bother to conceal their raw emotion of their encounter. Erin raised a hand slowly a wiped a tear from her own cheek. "He's right isn't he?" she spoke with a chilling calmness. Ruth did not respond. "You'll find him won't you." It wasn't a question. The determination now burning behind Ruth's tears left no doubt in her bosses mind. Erin took a deep breath. "In that case, I had better tell you where he is."
Thanks for reading. Not much happening in this chapter but now I know where I'm going with this hopefully update won't be as long. Please R&R and make me smile
