Little Moments: It Runs in the Family

Chapter 7: Deep Dark Truthful Mirror

Disclaimer: Sawyer Scott is not my character. Nor are her parents. Neither is Brooke.

A/N: I'm back! You guys are gonna see how the night with Sawyer and Dillon ended and the aftermath that unfolds. Enjoy!

OTHOTH

Charlotte pulled up to the airport and saw Sawyer waiting by the curb with Ellie's old leather jacket wrapped around her lanky frame. There was a puff of smog that came from Sawyer's breath and Charlotte attributed it to the cold weather but it wasn't the weather, it was smoke. And if Sawyer was smoking something had her stressed out.

As the younger brunette got closer to her cousin, she noticed the dark sun glasses that shielded Sawyer's blue eyes and Charlotte knew something was up.

Quickly putting out her cigarette when she saw Charlotte's car, Sawyer took a deep breath and grabbed her bag. She hated the way her mouth tasted and it wasn't just because of the drag she'd had to steady her nerves when she landed in Tree Hill. It didn't matter how many times she'd brushed her teeth she still felt like Dillon was lingering.

When Charlotte stopped her car in front of Sawyer the blonde quickly put her bag in and then silently slid into the passenger seat.

Knowing something was off, Charlotte looked at Sawyer and could see the tear stains on her cheeks. "What's wrong?"

Sawyer knew that she was going to ask that question and as she rested her head on the cool window and she simply shook it. No. Things were not good and they were only going to get worse. Sawyer swallowed hard trying to forget the entire trip to L.A. But her memories were the only thing she seemed to think about.

The morning after Sawyer had successfully signed The Pilot Phillips Project to Red Bedroom Records, she started to shift in the bed and wake up. Before she opened her eyes she felt her head spinning and then the body next to her. She didn't even know where she was.

"Ben...move." Sawyer raised her hand to her face and slowly cracked open an eye. The colors of the walls didn't match her room in Tree Hill and it didn't match Ben's bedroom either. But more unfamiliar than the color of the wall was the sound the person next to her was making; more so, the fact that he wasn't making noise at all. The warm body next to her was quietly sleeping and when Sawyer realized that she wasn't listening to Ben's loud snores she started to understand what was going on- what had gone on.

Clutching the sheets that covered her bare chest, Sawyer's eyes got wide and she shook her head. "No, no, no." She was being quiet but the guy next to her started to squirm. His shaggy hair was dark against the pillow and Sawyer's heart fell to her toes. They hadn't, had they? Sawyer peeked under the sheet and considering she was naked, it gave it away.

"Shit." This time Sawyer wasn't quiet and she winced when her pounding head gained intensity. Dillon was starting to wake up but the girl had turned her body and pressed her feet against the musician's back. "Get. Out." It only took three good tries and Sawyer had successfully rolled Dillon off the bed.

"Ugh..." Dillon hit the floor hard and slowly got up. He looked to the bed and scratched his head, "Dammit, what the hell, Sawyer?"

Bug eyed, Sawyer hung her mouth open, "What the hell? What the hell to you!" She quickly got out of the bed and rolled the sheet around her body, cringing because she felt like she'd been run down by an 18 wheeler. She saw his clothes scattered on the floor and threw them at his face. "You're a piece of shit from hell."

"That's not what you were saying last night." Dillon grabbed his jeans and slipped them on with a smirk.

The reality of the situation was hitting her smack in the face. Sawyer couldn't even remember last night. "Get. The. Hell out of here. Dillon!"

With his shirt flung over his shoulder, the Berklee rocker grabbed his shoes and walked to the door. "How long are you in t..."

Sawyer didn't let the scum bag finish what he was saying and slammed the door in his face. Turning around she saw her scattered clothes on the floor and was getting a mental image of what had happened last night. She picked up her shirt and clutched it in her hands as she shook her head. She didn't get upset about a lot of things but when Sawyer's chin started to quiver she knew that she couldn't blame Dillon, she couldn't blame the alcohol, she could only blame herself. And then she thought about Ben on a boat out on the Atlantic and Sawyer sat down on the bed and cried. A sob that lasted longer than she would like to tell.

If there was one thing in her life she'd been certain of it was the way she'd felt about Ben Trammell. She knew that he was the guy for her and she'd just ruined everything.

Sawyer felt Charlotte stop at a red light and she took a deep breath as she turned to her cousin. "I...I slept with someone."

Charlotte had her hands on the wheel and she furrowed her brow not believing Sawyer, "What?"

"I really messed up." Sawyer felt her eyes water and she shook her head, "The night I signed the band we all started drinking and I ended up in bed with the opening act."

"Sawyer..." Charlotte's big brown eyes grew large out of shock.

"I know. I know. I know, okay. I know." Sawyer wiped her cheek and looked down, "If I could take it back I would. If I could erase ever seeing him, letting him kiss me and kissing him back then I would. But I can't."

Charlotte got the sinking feeling that this person Sawyer slept with was someone she knew. She furrowed her brow and shook her head because it couldn't have been him. "It wasn't..."

"Yeah." Sawyer knew what her cousin was gonna ask and the blonde nodded in response, "He opened for the band and I started drinking and then the next thing I know I'm waking up naked."

Gasping, Charlotte's eyes were as big as saucers, "Sawyer..."

"Would you stop saying my name like that?" She hadn't meant to come off so defensive but she knew exactly how bad she'd messed up. "I know I screwed up, Charlotte. I had two airplane rides to think about it. And during this last one the flight attendant had to ask me if I was okay, okay?" Sawyer sniffed and took a deep breath as she aimlessly looked out of the widow. She smeared a tear across her face and it stung against her raw cheek, "And Ben comes home in two days." Her voice had grown quiet when she'd said that.

Realizing just how bad things were going to get, Charlotte knew she was going to be in the middle of a very unfortunate situation. Her future husband was best friends with Ben. Best friends. But Sawyer was her best friend, her cousin; family. Whether Sawyer was right or wrong she was going to need someone to support her and Charlotte knew that things were going to get complicated fast.

"He's gonna hate me." Sawyer blinked her eyes shut and swallowed with a soft whispered. "Hate me."

Charlotte didn't exactly know what to say because Ben was going to be upset. He was going to be more than upset. "Maybe he'll get past it?" Charlotte nodded and tried to say the most positive thing she could think of, "Ben's a good guy. He'll know it was a mistake. He loves you."

Convinced of the opposite, Sawyer stared out the window and stayed silent until Charlotte pulled up to her house.

"You want me to come in?"

Opening her door, Sawyer shook her head, "No, I'll be fine." She grabbed her suitcase from the car and shrugged, "I think I want to be alone."

"Okay. Call me tomorrow." Charlotte could tell that Sawyer was going to beat herself up about this for a while.

Sawyer was already heading to the front door and waved her hand in the air to acknowledge Charlotte. When she got her keys out, she heard her friend's car drive away and Sawyer rested her head on the door for a moment. But that moment passed and Sawyer walked into the house and was greeted by a stumbling, bumbling golden retriever that she shared with her boyfriend. One look at Trout and Sawyer burst into tears.

Her cheeks were stinging with the watery lines that ran down her face, and as she left her suitcase by the front door she knelt down to the dog and smiled through her heartache. "Hey, boy." The always excited to see her dog nudged his nose into her chest and Sawyer shook her head. "Ugh, Trout I messed up."

The phone started to ring and Sawyer stood up to answer it but then realized she was in no mood to talk. She spotted the note Keith had left and read his chicken scratch handwriting. Came over and fed him twice a day like you asked. We took him to the park and threw the ball around. He's not very good at fetch.

Sawyer laughed and rolled her eyes, "Yes he is." She looked at her dog and nodded, and she wiped her nose with her arm, "You just have to do it right." An instance when Trout was a puppy flew to her mind. Ben was the one who taught him to retrieve the ball, and she started to feel her heart sink into the depths of her chest.

I'll see you when you get home. -Keith. Sawyer read the rest of the note and took a deep breath. Her traveling was starting to catch up with her and there was nothing she wanted to do more than sleep. Maybe she'd wake up and everything would be okay. Maybe she would wake up to find out that this was all a dream?

It wasn't. She woke up and sharp morning light stung her eyes. They were puffy and grossly crusty but Sawyer rolled out of bed anyway. There was nothing to eat at her place so she hopped in her car and drove to the closest fast food place. She didn't even like Egg McMuffins but at the moment she didn't even like herself.

Fast food for breakfast. Fast food for lunch. Sawyer was on track to break her heart as bad as she was going to break Ben's, and she was going to sulk all day because he was coming home in less than 24 hours.

About four o'clock that afternoon Sawyer put Costello on repeat and watched the television on mute. She'd managed to spin her house into complete disarray so when her mother walked in unannounced, Peyton's eyes got wider than they ever had before.

"I figured you'd be tired from you're flight, but geez." Peyton shoved her sunglasses up into her hair and walked over to the turn table, turning down Elvis. Her newly turned twenty six year old always had a messy side but Sawyer's place was a wreck.

Sawyer was sunken down on the couch and sighed heavily when she heard her mom. Sitting up, the girl's back was to her mother and Sawyer quickly reached for her sunglasses to shade her swollen and teary eyes. "Mom, what are you doing here?"

Laughing at Sawyer's tone, Peyton picked up some trash and took it to the kitchen, "Well my only daughter flew to the other side of the country, came back, and I haven't heard a word. You're not answering your phone, so as a mom, I think I have grounds to check on you every now and then."

Grabbing a pillow, Sawyer buried her face and sighed.

Noticing the silence, Peyton glanced toward Sawyer and furrowed her brow, "What's wrong, kid?" Peyton started walking to her daughter and sat down on the couch next to her.

Still hidden by the pillow she had pressed against her face, Sawyer's shoulders sank and she tossed it next to her.

Peyton knew that Sawyer didn't cry a lot so something was wrong. "What happened?"

Simply thinking about having to tell her mom what happened made her feel sick. But she did, and the disappointment on Peyton's face was just about as bad as Ben's reaction was gonna be. Her family loved Ben and now she messed everything up for them, too.

The nearly fifty year old stayed quiet and let everything sink in and then shook her head, "I never liked him." Peyton narrowed her eyes thinking about Dillon. "He was such a...jerk."

"But it wasn't just him. I didn't stop it." Sawyer didn't want her mom to have blinders on. She was as much to blame as Dillon. "I'm a horrible, horrible person."

Peyton could see Sawyer getting upset and she shook her head, "No you're not. You made a mistake. We all make mistakes."

Sawyer sighed and leaned into her mother, "Ugh, Mom..."

"I know you haven't talked to Ben yet, but maybe things will work out?"

Laughing at her mom's optimism, Sawyer shook her head, "No. They won't."

Peyton knew that the chances of Ben being forgiving was unlikely but she had to say it, just like Charlotte had. Looking around, Peyton took a deep breath and the scattered fast food trash made her offer dinner. "You want to eat with us tonight?"

"No. I'll be fine."

"Keith and Bridget are coming over. She'll probably cook more than me."

Wiping a stray tear, Sawyer laughed. Her brother's girlfriend had just graduated from culinary school and Bridget knew her way around the kitchen. "I think seeing them all cute together will make me nauseous and even more miserable." There was a hint of sarcasm in her voice but Sawyer wasn't up for a family dinner when she had a rough day ahead of her tomorrow.

Peyton understood and patted Sawyer's leg, "You're gonna be okay, kid."

Sawyer got up and started to pick up the empty cups and strewn pillows and blankets. She hadn't realized how messy she'd made the place but if anything could keep her mind clear from the pending doom it was cleaning. She hated that just about as much as she dreaded the sunrise.

Peyton followed Sawyer into the kitchen and after she put something in the sink she looked at her daughter with crossed arms, "Well besides all this Dillon stuff, I'm proud that you signed the band."

Sawyer had forgotten all about her accomplishment. She nodded at her mother and smiled, "Thanks."

"Keep it up, and I'll take early retirement."

Laughing, Sawyer shook her head, "You won't ever retire. Unless you lose your hearing you'll be in the studio listening out for the next best thing till you're old and gray."

Peyton pointed to her head and laughed, "Thanks to you, your father, and your little brother...I'm getting there." Her gray hairs were hardly noticeable with her dyed locks but they were still there. Peyton slung her bag over her shoulder and nodded, "I'll be around."

"Thanks." Sawyer knew that her mother's words were an open invitation to call her anytime.

As the mother of two walked out of her daughter's house, she took a deep breath when the fresh air met her outside. It was a real shame that Sawyer had a lapse in judgment. Ben was good for her. He was what she needed, and in true Sawyer fashion, she had to go make things hard on herself- hard on him. Peyton walked passed her daughter's old convertible and got into hers. While Peyton cranked the old Comet she felt bad about the situation in general. She was convinced that Sawyer would have her someday with Ben, but now someday was turning into not ever.

OTHOTH

Awake just as the soft pastels of morning spread over the horizon, Sawyer sat on the back porch sipping her coffee. Trout was prancing around the yard convinced he could catch the squirrel he was tormented by, but Sawyer knew he couldn't and enjoyed the entertainment. The colors started to lighten and the noise of neighbors' cars and kids going to school littered the air. It wouldn't be long until the Diligence made it's way to shore. Just a few more hours.

And in those hours, Sawyer showered and got dressed. She debated on what to wear but settled with jeans, a dark green long sleeve ribbed tee, and the old jacket that had been through her family for generations. Her golden hair hung off her shoulders in a way that most people spent hours trying to duplicate, and she slipped on some shoes ready to go.

"Wish me luck." Sawyer patted Trout's head as she walked out the door.

The drive downtown wasn't long and she wished it had been. Sawyer wanted to catch a red light, get pulled over for not wearing her seat belt but none of that happened. Nothing was going to keep her from him.

After she parked, Sawyer walked toward the dock and felt her heart beat start to pound as loud as shoes clacked against the wooden planks. In the distance she could see a small ship making its way up the Cape and close to port. Her hands started to get clammy and the serenity she'd felt this morning was staring to wash away as the waves splashed against the shore.

The Diligence was closer now, much closer and the families of the other Coasties had gathered around waving them in, and then Sawyer spotted him. Ben was on the right side standing next to a fellow Coastie smiling about something. It killed her to see him but another part was glad he was home, glad he was safe.

Once the boat was docked Sawyer saw everyone start to greet their families and then she met Ben's blue eyes as he made his way toward her.

"Hey, O.J." He put his bag down and wrapped his arms around her waist.

Before he could try to kiss her Sawyer pulled him closer for a hug and never wanted to let go. His body next to hers made her eyes water and she tried not to get emotional.

Ben missed feeling her, having her in his arms, and their time apart most certainly made him love her more than ever. He wanted nothing more than to come home to her every time he went to sea.

When he pulled away he went right back in for a kiss. Sawyer couldn't stand the feeling in her stomach and pulled away before they got carried away.

Figuring she wasn't in the mood to show off their affection, Ben laughed at her and started to grin, "Lose your voice, Sawyer? You haven't said a word since I got on solid ground."

She shook her head and softened her eyes, "No. Sorry. I just..."

Ben noticed the wet mark on her cheek and brushed his thumb against it, "Are you okay?"

"Yeah. I'm fine." Sawyer quickly nodded and then turned away. "What do you say we get out of here?"

Ben picked up his bag and nodded, "I wanna hear all about L.A."

The knife that was twisting in her stomach was making its way north and a lightening bolt of pain started to radiate from her chest after he said that. Hearing about L.A. was going to be the last thing he wanted to hear about.

"Your place or mine?" She looked to him when they both got in her car and wondered which place to go.

"I wanna see Trout but let's go to my place so I get this stuff put up." He smiled at her and laughed, "If we go to your place we both know that I'll just toss it in the corner of your room and it'll never go anywhere." He'd done the same thing with his baseball stuff after one of the charity games and he was sure she still had a bat or two at her place.

Sawyer headed for Ben's apartment and asked him about his trip so she wouldn't have to talk. When they got to his place they both walked up to apartment, Sawyer more nervous than normal.

Ben tossed his bag by the washing machine and grabbed a few take-out menus they could decide on for lunch. He sat down next to Sawyer and handed her a few menus to look over. "Sucks about Charlotte and Graham, doesn't it?"

"What?" Sawyer shook her head, "What are you talking about?"

He turned to her and furrowed his brow, "Did she not tell you?"

"Oh, God. What is it? Is the wedding off?"

Completely surprised that Sawyer was out of the loop, Ben shook his head, "No they're fine. They're still getting married but Graham's number came up. They're moving."

"Moving!" Sawyer almost spit out her drink, "What? When? Where?"

Ben shrugged, "Graham called me yesterday...or the day before that and told me he got stationed in Texas. They're supposed to go to Houston next month. Charlotte didn't call you?"

"I had my phone turned off." Sawyer shook her head and knew that her world was crumbling at the seams. Her best friend and cousin was moving to Texas and as she turned to Ben she knew that she still had news for him. "Can't he get out of it?"

"Unless he can pull some major strings, I doubt it."

"Ugh...this sucks." Sawyer got up and started to walk out her frustration.

"Hey..." Ben got up and pulled Sawyer to him, "It's only for six months. They'll be back."

Sawyer took a deep breath a rested her head on his chest. There was something about Ben Trammell that was incredibly calming. He could make some of the worst news better. While they stayed like that for a minute, Sawyer heard Ben's stomach growl and she laughed, "Hungry?"

"Starving" He laughed with a nod and shrugged, "Let's just get a pizza."

They both agreed on pizza and while they waited for the delivery boy, Ben thought he'd be cute and crank up his stereo.

"Oh, no...please no." Sawyer was getting out two plates when she heard the familiar piano introduction and Ben walked in the kitchen and nodded.

"Put on my blue suede shoes and I boarded the plane..." He was halfway laughing halfway singing as he walked up next to her.

"I hate this song."

Ben was shook his head and kissed her, "No you don't."

Sawyer nodded and crossed her arms, "Yes, I do. With a burning fiery passion."

"No you don't." Ben continued to shake his head and sang as the song continued "...then I'm walking in Memphis. Walking with my feet ten feet off of Beale."

"I really do hate this song." Sawyer rolled her eyes and walked over to another cabinet to get out glasses. She was tall enough to grab what she wanted but she went on her tip toes Ben couldn't help but walked right up behind her. His hands went to her sides and he bent down and kissed the side of her neck. "Ben..." Sawyer laughed and raised her shoulder to keep him from doing that again.

Turning her around, Ben kissed her and smiled, "I've been on a boat with the guys for three weeks. I think I can..." Ben pushed Sawyer up on the counter and grinned, before he kissed her again. He got her jacket off and before he slipped her shirt off, his hands rested on the hem and he nodded, "I missed you."

"I missed you, too." Sawyer was thinking in her head 'more than you know' and kissed him again.

As Ben started to pull on her shirt his elbow grazed one of the glasses Sawyer and pulled out and it went crashing towards the kitchen floor. The sound of the shattered glass brought Sawyer into reality and she knew that she needed to stop before she hurt Ben anymore. A part of her wanted to never tell him, to stay the way they were- happy and in love, but even as bitchy as she could be, that wasn't an option. Sawyer would drown in her own conscience if she never told him.

"Whoops." Ben laughed but Sawyer got off the counter to clean up the mess.

She went straight for the broom and started to sweep up the glass and Ben had to check himself, make sure Sawyer Scott was actually cleaning. And she was. The doorbell took him away from his surprise.

Ben got the pizza and Sawyer cleaned up their mess. They ate with pleasant conversation but Sawyer knew she couldn't keep put this off. The longer she waited the more painful it would be...for both of them.

"I'm stuffed!" Ben laid down on the couch and crossed his arms over his chest. He surfed the channels and tried to find something they could watch. When he heard the sink turn on he furrowed his brow and laughed, "When did you become so...cleanly? Is that something you picked up in California?"

Sawyer looked down and realized that she was doing the dishes and hadn't even realized it. "I uh...I guess?" The truth of the matter was that she taking small steps toward adulthood, something she hadn't really grasped in her young life. After twenty six years, this mistake she'd made put it in perspective. She needed to grow up, and that also meant taking responsibility for her actions. Sawyer wiped her hands on the dish towel and walked back to Ben, "About California..."

"Oh hold on..." Ben grabbed his ringing phone and smiled, "It's Dad." He raised the phone to his ear and grinned, "Hey, Pop."

Sawyer listened to Ben's conversation for a while and then was surprised when he tossed her the phone.

"Here, O.J."

There was a nervous feeling in Sawyer's stomach and she hesitated before she said hello. Taking a deep breath, Sawyer held the phone close to her head, "Hi, Russ."

"Well hey, Sawyer. Ben told me that you signed that band. I wanted to congratulate you."

Sawyer's stomach was starting to hurt worse and she nodded with a low whisper, "Thanks,"

"I'll get to brag about you when they make it to the big time."

"You won't have to do that." Sawyer smiled and shook her head, "I'm hardly anyone to brag about."

"Sure you are. Have you not heard Ben? That's about all he does." Russ laughed and knew his son had a good girl, "I asked him about his trip and all he talked about was you."

Sawyer smiled but could feel the twister of emotion spiraling out of control. She quickly caught a tear and nodded, "He thinks the world of you, too, Russ." It was a good thing Ben was lying down because if he could see her he'd know something was up.

"Then I guess I'm lucky to be in your company."

He was gonna have to stop being such a sweet guy because it wasn't doing anything for Sawyer's sate of mind. Hearing him made her realize that Mr. Trammell was a big part of this relationship too. Knowing she was going to let him down was more than she could take. Ben was bad enough.

"I'll see you in a few months, Sawyer." The older man knew they'd be visiting in May but what he didn't know was that it was only going to be one of them.

"Yeah..." Her reply was breathy but Sawyer nodded, "Good night, Russ."

"Night, Sawyer."

When Sawyer heard the line click she took a deep breath and whispered one last thing. "I'm sorry." She held on to Ben's cell phone so tight that her knuckles turned white and then she took a deep breath to go walk over to him. He was lounging on the couch and she sat down on the coffee table. "Ben..."

He instantly saw her tears and started to sit up, "Woah, O.J. What's wrong?"

"When...when I was in L.A. I..." She didn't know if he'd want all the details or just to cut to the chase. "When I was in L.A, the night I signed the band, I ran into my ex."

"That asshole from Berklee?" Ben saw Sawyer nod and he shook his head, "Dipshit."

Sawyer's heart was beating out of her chest and she shook her head, "We were drinking and one thing led to another..." She looked at Ben's face and could see him starting to understand what she was telling him. "I didn't mean to. It...just happened."

"You slept with him?" Ben's stare was cold and unforgiving.

"Ben...if I could take it back I would. I love you. I don't know what I was thinking."

He got up off the couch and ran his hand over his neck as if it ached in severe pain, "You slept with him?"

It was the second time he'd asked and Sawyer figured he wanted a straight yes or no answer. "Yes."

"Jesus, Sawyer." He took a few heavy breaths and shook his head, "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I don't know. I don't know. I wish I could change it!" Sawyer got up to walk over to him but he flinched away from her.

"You're just telling me about this now?"

Sawyer raised her shoulders and shrugged, "What was I supposed to do? Wait for you to get off the boat, greet you with a kiss and a 'by the way, Ben, I cheated on you'?"

"God Dammit, Sawyer." Ben didn't know how he wanted to know about it. He wished he'd never heard it come out of her mouth, he wanted it to be a joke. Clearly it wasn't. "One night with some guy and you throw away everything we have?"

"I didn't want to do it, Ben. I just...happened."

"Yeah, well, shit happens, Sawyer." He cut his eyes at her and shook his head, "And apparently I stepped in it big time with you."

Sawyer didn't want to hear this, but she knew it was coming. "I know that you probably hate me. And I know that what I did was wrong, but Ben..." She walked towards him again and put her hands on his sides, "I made a mistake. A horrible, horrible, disgusting mistake, but I love you."

Ben was starting to feel himself get upset and he shook his head, "Yeah, well I love you too, Sawyer, but...this...I can't." He backed away from her and ran his hand over his head.

She could see that he was going from shocked, to upset, to sad, and back to angry. "Tell me what to do so we can fix this."

"Get out."

"Ben..." Sawyer's eyes bugged and she furrowed her brow. "Isn't th..."

Cutting his eyes toward her he looked to the girl he thought he wanted to spend his life with and saw nothing but a pitiful whore. "You did the same fucking thing my mom did to my dad, you know that? The same God-dammed thing Dillon did to you." He laughed and shook his head, "I thought you were better than that."

"Ben, please..."

He shook his head and held out his hands, "I don't want to hear it Sawyer. Get out."

Tears falling off her face like a raging river, Sawyer grabbed her purse and walked out of his apartment. Before she closed the door, Sawyer turned around and shook her head. "I'm sorry, Ben." She closed the door and Ben sent a lamp flying across the room.

If Sawyer had any hope that he would forgive her the look on his face and the pain in his words were enough to let her know she'd been mistaken.

Ben was alone in his apartment, looking at his broken lamp thinking things had gone from perfect to disastrous in mere minutes.

OTHOTH

It had been five days since Sawyer and Ben's relationship ended and Sawyer had crammed work and maid of honor duties into her schedule to keep her mind off of things, off of Ben really. Obviously he wasn't calling and Graham was pretty mum on Ben's whereabouts or feelings, but that was what Charlotte was for. Anything Graham told Charlotte, Charlotte told Sawyer and from the few things she knew, Ben was pretty torn up.

"Hey? Did you get those MP threes from those bands in Chicago?" Peyton walked up to her daughter with a legal pad. "Here are my notes on them. I want you to listen and see what you think. You can do it after lunch though."

"I'm not that hungry."

Peyton looked to the doorway and turned back to her daughter, "I think someone's here to take you to lunch."

For an instance, a millisecond time stopped and Sawyer's heart froze. For that instance, her cheeks flushed and she thought it might be Ben. It wasn't. Sawyer got up from her desk and walked over to her brother, "Is this a pity lunch, cause I don't need it?"

Keith laughed and shook his head, "I'm glad you have your attitude back." Hopefully his remark covered the truth because this definitely was a pity lunch.

"I didn't bring my purse. I hope you can afford me." Sawyer laughed and patted her brother on the back, "But I know you work like three jobs to save up...whatever it is you want to buy so I know you've got money."

Nodding, Keith smiled and he and his sister walked to his car. "I'm pretty sure you're low on gas so lets take mine."

She laughed and cut her eyes, "You're lucky that's true. If I did have gas it wouldn't be a question."

The brother and sister duo drove downtown and decided on Dock's. It was a local favorite and somewhere they'd been a thousand times before. After ordering their food, Keith looked at his older sister seriously, "So how are you doing?"

"This is a pity lunch." Sawyer rolled her eyes and took a sip of her Coke. "I'm fine. I am perfectly fine."

"I'm just asking because I know you're not." Keith was two and half years younger than Sawyer but he was a lot like Charlotte, wise beyond his years.

"He hasn't called. He hasn't come by. He hasn't texted me." Sawyer shrugged and shook her head, "It sucks, but it's all my fault. I can't expect anything from him."

"Have you tried to call him?"

"No." Sawyer shook her head, "I don't know what to say."

A group of Coasties walked in laughing and smiling and Keith pointed, "Gotta start somewhere."

Quickly holding up a menu to shield her face, Sawyer frowned, "You knew he would be here, didn't you?"

Keith held out his hands and laughed while shaking his head, "I had no idea. Honestly."

"Honestly, my ass." Sawyer peeked over the menu and saw Ben sitting with his buddies getting ready for lunch. Eyeing the kitchen, Sawyer was trying to come up with a plan.

"Don't even think about it." Keith knew what she was doing. "You're not gonna sneak out of the back just so you don't have to walk by him. Just go say something."

"But what?"

"I don't know, Sawyer." Keith laughed and shook his head, "How about hey for starters?"

Rolling her eyes, Sawyer got off her bar stool and walked over to the group of Coasties.

"Hey, Ben..." One of the guys nudged Ben and tilted his head toward the incoming Sawyer.

When she approached the table she sighed but didn't get a chance to speak because Ben cut in first.

"Look boys, it's a special today. Bitch. And it's half price cause she's a whore." He was obviously still bitter and his wounds were no where near healing.

Sawyer never expected Ben to be mean but she let it roll off her back. "Okay, that was fair, but can we go talk...outside, like adults?"

"We've only got twenty minutes, Sawyer. Why don't you and Ben talk about it later." Trevor looked at the blonde and shook his head. He wasn't trying to sound mean but he knew how upset Ben was about everything and he was on duty.

Turning to her ex-boyfriend, Sawyer could tell that he wasn't interested in a conversation so she walked back over to her brother. "Can we go?"

Keith could tell that Sawyer wasn't going to enjoy their lunch and got up, "Yeah."

That run in had been five days post break up and then two days after that Sawyer got home from the office and saw two big boxes on her front porch. She wasn't surprised that he dropped off her stuff, but she was surprised that he took Trout. I'll bring him back Sunday. It was all his note said and it was all it needed to say. Now Sawyer was alone, boyfriend-less and dog-less. Trout would be back in a couple days but Ben wouldn't.

The following week Sawyer was on her way to a dress fitting for Charlotte's wedding, and as she drove toward Clothes over Bros she hoped that her diet wasn't going to fault her now. She'd eaten more junk over the last two weeks than normal and her bloated belly wasn't cooperating. Why they needed fittings six months before the actual wedding was ridiculous to her but she was going because she had to.

"Ooh, Sawyer you're here first." Brooke walked over to her oldest niece and smiled, "Let's see how everything fits."

Charlotte walked in with Liza about three minutes later and Sawyer was rolling her eyes that everyone was there to see her pudgy stomach and flabby arms. "Okay, so just as a warning. I've been going through a lot, lately. Don't judge my weight gain." Sawyer walked out with her dress and Brooke's eyes got wide.

"Sawyer, what in the world?" Brooke was a little baffled. For her entire life, Sawyer had been rail thin but apparently the break up allowed for a slow metabolism. Brooke was gonna have a lot of work to do with Sawyer's dress. Expand the bust for Sawyer's cutlets and hopefully take in the tummy.

"Look, I know. I had about six gallons of mint chocolate chip ice cream over the last two weeks so...yeah. I'll slim down before the wedding."

Charlotte laughed and looked at Sawyer, "You don't even like mint chocolate chip ice-cream."

Sawyer furrowed her brow, "I love mint chocolate chip ice cream, actually."

"Just start running. You'll lose the weight before you know it."

Laughing, Sawyer appreciate Jamie's wife's advice but she wasn't a runner. Sawyer and running did not go together.

"Yeah, train for the Diligence Dash and you'll be in shape in no time." Brooke nodded and figured that would be a realistic accomplishment Sawyer could strive for.

Charlotte tried to change the subject because she knew that Sawyer didn't like mint chocolate chip ice cream, Ben did. She was only eating it now not because she liked it, because she still loved him. And the mention of the Diligence Dash was another sore subject. Two years ago Sawyer and Ben unconventionally became acquaintances after she tossed her orange juice his way. "Let me try on next. I might not get to come back often since I'll be in Texas."

Brooke turned to the brown eyed bride-to-be and shook her head, "I still can't believe you're leaving."

Sawyer watched as the other three went to check out Charlotte's wedding dress and she held out her arms, "Can I change now?"

After she got out of her cranberry dress, Sawyer watched Charlotte get into hers. She always knew that Charlotte would make a beautiful bride. She couldn't help but feel a tiny bit jealous. Charlotte was getting the guy, they got the house, babies were likely on the way and Sawyer was left with nothing. She didn't have the guy, or the cute home they could buy together. Sawyer was alone.

"What do you think, Saw?" Charlotte looked to her maid of honor and smiled.

"You are unfairly beautiful, Charlotte." It was the truth and she walked over to her cousin with a smile. Looking at her cousin in her wedding gown Sawyer remembered that she was the maid of honor but she couldn't have felt further away from her title. It would have been better if they could call her the maid of dishonor. It was cliche and probably a running joke Ben had with his buddies but sadly it was true.

A few days after the dress fitting Sawyer was on her way to Charlotte and Graham's because she was pretty sure that she'd just listened to the group that would be perfect for their wedding band.

"Charlotte?" The blonde walked into the door and hadn't paid a single lick of attention to whose car had been parked on the other side of the street. She walked into the house and saw Charlotte and Ben standing in the dinning room.

Ben just rolled his eyes, "Didn't you see my piece of shit Four-Runner out there?" He laughed and shook his head, "And you still wanna come in here?" His tone was harsh and unforgiving causing Sawyer to stop in her tracks.

"Ben..." Sawyer shook her head. She hadn't been paying attention to the cars outside. She'd just wanted to come over to talk with Charlotte. "I...I'll go."

He shook his head, "No stay. You should hear this too."

Sawyer didn't know what he meant by that but she awkwardly stood by the door until Graham got home a couple minutes later.

The green eyed Coastie walked into the house not knowing what to expect. He'd seen both Sawyer and Ben's cars outside so he didn't know if he would be walking into a war or a peace negotiation.

"Hi." Charlotte saw Graham walk inside and she smiled up to him from her sitting position on the floor.

Graham looked to Ben and then Sawyer and then Charlotte, "What's going on?"

Ben took a deep breath, "You don't have to go to Texas."

Graham furrowed his brow, "Huh?"

"What?" Charlotte looked to Ben and wondered how he knew that. They hadn't heard anything different.

Sawyer looked around the house and knew that Charlotte and Graham were leaving in two weeks. Their stuff was already packed.

"You don't have to go. I am." Ben nodded and looked to Graham, "I talked to Admiral Langston today. I told him that if they wanted a patrol man to take me. I'd go. You two have everything here." Ben looked to Charlotte, "Your parents are here, and yours..." He looked at Graham nodded, "...yours are just a couple hours away. You're about to get married." Ben glanced around the room and shrugged, "You just bought this house."

Graham was trying to figure out what was happening."Ben you don't have..."

Shaking his head, Ben cracked his knuckles, "I don't have anything keeping me here. I don't have someone here. I mean my dad's in Tennessee."

Sawyer had been listening to everything Ben was saying and had to look away because she could feel herself start to cry. He must really not care anymore. Obviously he cared about his friends but Sawyer was just a face in the crowd.

Charlotte got up off the floor from packing, "Wh...What made you do this?"

He had a few reason but one was the most obvious. "I love you guys." He laughed but shrugged, "I'm Graham's best man, I'm just trying to help out."

Walking over to him, Charlotte gave Ben a giant hug, "But you'll come back for the wedding, right?"

"Yeah."

"Ben..." Graham swallowed hard and tried to come up with words but he couldn't. "Thank you." He hugged his best friend and knew that a huge weight had been lifted from his and Charlotte's shoulders. They didn't have to go to Texas. They got to stay in Tree Hill. It was how it was supposed to be. Things were still going according to plan.

Things were going according to plan for some people. For everyone but Sawyer it seemed. While the three others hugged it out, Sawyer slipped out of Charlotte and Graham's house and hurried to her car. She couldn't breathe, she couldn't see. Her tears were clouding her vision and the last thing she wanted to do was see him, hear him, be close to him. She cranked her car and just started to drive.

When she pulled up to the old familiar yellow home she saw the old mustang in the driveway and knew that her dad was home. She went in without knocking and went straight into the study where he was typing away.

"Hey. I didn't know you were stopping by."

Sawyer looked at her dad and shook her head, "He's leaving. He's going to Texas so Graham doesn't have to."

"Ben?" Lucas folded his arms and started to squint. Sawyer was clearly upset.

"Yes Ben. Who else would I be upset about?" Sawyer sat down and shook her head again, "I know I messed up and I guess I deserve some punishment, but I've been dealt a heavy enough blow." She wiped her cheek and shrugged, "He already hates me, and now he's leaving. He's basically going across the country."

Lucas took a deep breath, "Maybe it's for the best." He liked Ben, Lucas really did, but the circumstances did not bode well for a reunion between his daughter and ex-boyfriend. As much as he wanted it to happen he couldn't write a fairytale ending to this story.

"But I wanted to fix things."

"We all want to fix things, Sawyer."

Sawyer nodded with a laugh and a sniff, "When you fixed my car, you fixed my heart." She laughed again and shrugged, "Can't I go fix his car and then he can change his mind?"

Lucas wanted to be realistic but knew that his own love story had its own glimmer of hope. "Sometimes things don't work out. Sometimes it just takes time."

"He's leaving in two weeks, Dad."

Taking a deep breath, Lucas sat down next to his daughter, "I know you loved him, Sawyer. But you have to let go."

"I don't want to."

"I know." Lucas felt Sawyer lean into his side and he wrapped an arm around her.

"You're gonna write a book about this, aren't you?"

He shook his head, "Not if you don't want me to."

Sawyer knew how her dad's books ended. The boy got the girl without fail. It was always a process and it was hard work, but it was a happy ending nonetheless. It was the kind of ending Sawyer wanted, she just didn't know if she would get it.

OTHOTH

When those dreaded two weeks passed and Ben was headed out of town, he had to stop somewhere first. It wasn't to pick up his things, he'd done that, it wasn't to see her one more time, it was to say goodbye.

One full month had gone by since the unfortunate night when he found out about Sawyer and Dillon. One month of heartache, regret, pain, and more emotion than he knew he had. It was undeniable the love he had for the opinionated blonde. Benjamin Trammell loved Sawyer Scott with no avail, but what she did was something he couldn't forget and certainly something he couldn't forgive. He wasn't exactly keen on leaving the small town he'd come to know and love. Tree Hill had become his home. For all intents and purposes he'd already imagined a life there. Big problem was that it was with Sawyer and considering they were hardly on speaking terms, that future obviously wasn't coming true. But he was leaving for Charlotte and Graham. At least that's what he told himself.

His old 4-Runner parked in front of Sawyer's house and her car wasn't there so he knew he could get in and out without drama. He was there to say goodbye but he wasn't there to say goodbye to her. He was there to say goodbye to Trout. It made more sense for their dog to stay with her. She had the yard and it was already his home. Ben wasn't even sure if the base in Texas allowed dogs. He'd be living on site in a rinky dink military housing, but he knew it was better him than Graham. He'd pulled so many strings getting them to change personnel assignments that he was surprised Admiral Langston gave him the go-ahead but it was going to be worth it. Everything was bigger and better in Texas, right? Hopefully. He had a hole the size of the state that he needed to fill.

Ben thought about going through the front door but he assumed he might as well just walk around to the backyard fence.

Trout heard the gate open and ran up to Ben with an enthusiasm only a dog would have for its owner.

"Hey, boy." Ben rubbed Trout's head and realized he was going to miss the dog a lot more than he thought. And if he was being honest with himself it was more than Trout he was going to miss. Sawyer would always be in his heart.

Trout ran over to grab a ball and sprinted back over to Ben.

"You wanna play?" Ben got the ball and held it out. He wasn't on a time crunch. He was driving to Memphis and then flying out from there. He could play with his dog as long as he liked.

Twenty minutes went by fast and Sawyer pulled into the driveway with a backseat full of groceries. She saw Ben's car and suddenly got nervous that maybe he'd changed his mind, but Sawyer knew that the scenario was far out of reach. After grabbing a few bags she took them inside and could tell that Ben was throwing a tennis ball for Trout.

Ben heard the back door open and he turned around. Every time he saw her it made it harder for him to go but easier for him to leave. It was the strangest of feelings; to love someone so much that it hurt to stay and to go. "Hey."

"Hey." Trout ran up to Sawyer and she patted his side.

"I uh...I was just coming over to see him before I left."

Sawyer nodded because she figured as much. "I've got groceries in the car so you two can get back to playing. I just wanted to...say hey." She turned back toward the house and rolled her eyes at herself. She knew that she sounded lame.

"Here, Trout." Ben clapped his hands and watched as their dog ran back over to him.

Sawyer tried not to stare out of the kitchen window but it really was hard not to. She had to duck a few times when Ben turned around but she was pretty sure that he didn't notice.

The guy and dog played for another ten minutes and then Ben knew it was time to go. He knelt down to Trout and used both hands to cup his face, "You be good, okay? She's gonna need you to protect her. Bark at any guy that comes in the house. They're all no good unless they're family." When his breath caught in his throat it surprised him and Ben took a deep breath. "But you can handle her, Trout. I tried." He should his head because their relationship had crashed and burned.

The dog blindly licked on Ben and the twenty something used the opportunity to wipe his face with his sleeve.

"I'll come back and visit you." Ben rubbed the dogs ears and started to stand up. He coughed hoping his emotions would stifle but this was harder than he imagined.

He eyed the back door and the back gate and knew it was best if he at least told Sawyer he was leaving. Ben walked up the porch and went inside. She wasn't in the kitchen and Ben looked around, "Sawyer?"

She walked out of the bathroom and smiled at him. Her eyes looked watery and she'd just had herself a little cry. Watching Ben say goodbye to their dog was rough.

"I uh..." He used his thumb to point to the front door, "...I'm leaving."

"Whenever you're in town you can come and see him."

Nodding, Ben looked out the window to Trout, "I will."

They both took steps toward each other not knowing what to do. Sawyer knew she was stepping out of bounds but she couldn't let him go all the way to Texas without a hug. Her arms went around him and to her surprise he hugged her back. Closing her eyes, Sawyer took a deep breath, breathing him in, "I'm sorry."

Ben could feel his heart ache and he nodded, "Me too." He quickly kissed her temple and briskly walked past her to the front door. He didn't turn around, he didn't say another word, the door opened and closed, and then he was gone.

Standing in the middle of her kitchen, Sawyer felt her eyes well and knew as soon as that door closed she was turning over a new leaf. She was going to be someone better for her; someone better for him. They may never be together again but Sawyer was certainly going to keep the faith. It wasn't probable and highly unlikely; there were others out there. She was simply convinced Ben was it. Time would only tell.

OTHOTH

So they broke up and Ben's off to Texas. Obviously they were both hurt and I don't think the break up was easy for either of them. Next chapter I'll jump to Charlotte and Graham's wedding and Sawyer will get back into the dating scene...sorta. She may even go on a sushi date. Ha, yes, that's a poke at you LM readers who know more than the others. Who she ends up with...just as the chapter said, only time will tell.

My reviewers continued to be made of AWESOME. Genuine grade A, awesome. This spin off of a spin off has had more buzz and more of a following than I ever imagined. Thank you for continuing to surprise me. I write this story for you guys!

Amanda: I'm so glad you've enjoyed the development of their relationship. Sorry I had to tear it apart this chapter. I'm also really happy that you appreciate the fact that Sawyer is flawed but has (most of the time) good intentions whereas Ben is the dependable one. It's too bad that Sawyer didn't Dillon to the curb but drama makes stories interested and with Sawyer's flawed nature I think it was inevitable. Hopefully you'll like what I've got in store for Sawyer!

Joan: Yeah, most people probably assumed from Charlotte's story what was gonna happen. The fact that you noticed how she became more "human" when she was working with Joel was a nice recognition on your part. I'm glad you picked up on that. Russ probably won't take the break up well and I probably will have him in the next chapter. Graham's been friends with Ben for a really long time so I would imagine that Russ would be invited to the wedding, hence a Russ and Sawyer chat. Ha, lol, I 'm glad you like the name Pilot.

2old4oth: LOL, yes, alcohol will definitely get you every time. And I'm with you. I get annoyed when people call me ma'am too. I mean I know it's unavoidable here in the south but it makes me feel like a really old 21 year old. I'm glad you liked the ring/coin box bit. It did show that she was warming up to idea of marriage and yeah...it would have to be on her own terms. It will be interesting to see what happens when and if she does get proposed to.

Someone who didn't sign their name: I'm glad you liked the chapter and the twist at the end. I always planned to bring Dillion into the story. I think I mentioned him enough for people to assume he was trouble...and without a doubt he caused some serious harm for everyone who likes Sawyer and Ben.

Review Please!