AN: Planning on going to once a week updates on this fic. I appreciate all the favs and follows, thank you. Just needed to wrap up a few other stories I had going so I could concentrate on this one.


Covert Affairs

Chapter 7

Goodbye General Grab-Ass


"Why do you think Mustang is the guy who will change the country?" Ed asked as the car made it's way up the long drive to a large old home on a hill. He wished Al could come with them but he already agreed to babysit Elicia so the Hughes could go to the retirement party. He was curious to meet someone else's teacher, he never really thought about how other alchemist's learned their skills before now. In his mind, teacher was synonymous with Izumi Curtis and it seemed like Zane's teacher was nowhere close to being her. Then again, who was?

"When the war ended, we all stood there looking up at the Fuhrer, listening to some speech about victory and glory. Hearing our comrades cheer and drink in the intoxicating words coming from his mouth, eager to head home and leave the war behind...happy to have survived and relieved to just be done with it. Wash their hands of all of it." Zane sighed. "Then there was Mustang's voice as he told us that he'd do whatever it takes to protect the people he loved and in turn they'll protect the ones they loved. That's what we try to do. All of us on this team. Our families, each other. Just like you protect your brother. That's the man who should be leading this country out of the dark ages. "

"How much did Mustang tell you about my brother?" Ed asked.

Roy warned him the kid tended to focus on the one unimportant thing in a statement. "Ed, to protect each other you sometimes need to know each other's secrets. Otherwise, you work against each other or to the wrong objective. "

"I don't know, I feel pretty fucking betrayed right now." Ed said coldly. "Those are our secrets and we own the rights to who knows about them. That's not his call. He's my damned boss, my teacher...not my fucking Dad. Even my Dad doesn't get to make any calls about my life either!"

"Ed, calm down." Zane said quietly. "It's a concern we both have as alchemists. Nobody is trying to rob you of your freedoms, but we are both have more experience with our work blowing up in our faces than you do."

Ed lifted up his arm, "Really asshole? I lost and arm and and leg. AND MY BROTHER'S BODY!"

"Wow you're dramatic." Zane sighed. And yet the the kid wondered why Mustang would share that information when he just broadcast it to the countryside. "Right now, we're both trying to stop another tragedy. Worried that there is a ticking clock that you haven't considered. I'm concerned because I was ordered to work in a lab with alchemists experimenting with blood seals after the war."

"Oh my God! Talk about drama and secrets! Why the hell can't you just come out and say this to begin with!?"

"You would have gotten out of the car in Central." He shrugged.

"Ok, so what is this Touchy Feely Alchemist's specialty?" Ed huffed. Maybe he just wasn't asking the right questions.

"He worked on capturing souls."

"OK, stop the car." Ed growled. "I'm done."

"He's the man who wrote the manual on blood seals." Zane saw Ed fidget and pull at his collar.

"That's not really...uh..."

"Yes it is." Zane said. "It's capturing a soul and locking it onto a foreign body. "

"Do you honestly think he can help me get our bodies back?" Ed asked, afraid that this was another one of those quests that ended up with some alchemist crying and explaining how his obsession ruined his life. "Or have something to help us with our research?"

"I don't know. He's a hoarder, you're going to have to ask him because only he knows what he has in that damned house." Zane cleared his throat. "Just don't move anything. He'll know."

"So what? Just walk in there and tell him what we did? That my brother is bonded to a suit of armor because of a failed attempted at human transmutation?"

"Don't worry, I'm sure he heard you when you screamed it a few minutes ago. No need to repeat yourself." Zane mumbled and wished the kid had a volume control."I'm more interested in finding out more about blood seals. If we could attach ourselves to inanimate objects forever we would have people walking around with eternal life. We don't. So there has to be a catch."

"You're suggesting, the seal is a temporary fix?"

"It worries me. There is a reason that alchemy is based around transmutation circles, that everything always comes full circle. Death to life, life to death. Man died, becomes grass, cow eats grass, man eats cow. A loop. Just like electricity, a circuit must be established in order to let the current flow."

"But when the circuit is disconnected, like a light switch..." Ed didn't have to continue. He thought about someone scraping the seal off Al, breaking the bond. Then again time would do the same thing, it didn't have to be a physical entity that did it. The blood would eventually deteriorate.

"I can shock a heart into working again, but if I continue to shock it to keep it working then I burn the tissue." Zane shook his head. "I can buy someone time, but often it's not a permanent fix. Something has to be done in order to change the initial problem, why the heart stopped. "

"Exactly what were you ordered to do in the lab?"

"Electrocute prisoners. Stop their hearts." Zane put the car in park. "The violent deaths, they're the easiest souls to grab. There is more anguish and anger, a more powerful force of energy in a soul that has been ripped from it's host too soon. Souls wither as the body ages, its why in a natural death they leave the body and slip away. It's why you hear of ghost stories, spirits unable to rest. It's very much the same concept. It makes it easier to pull the soul back and attach it to something."

"You've done this?"

"I helped. I forced the soul out, someone else was there to shove it back in a different container. Hence why I only vaguely understand blood seals and we need Hisalde's help."

"Who did you do this to?"

"Criminals." Zane hung his head. "People who already sold their soul to the devil to commit horrible acts of violence. It was supposed to make it easier to take the soul violently. Because they were already slated for execution."

"So this...is what you're trying to save me from?" Ed asked. "Being ordered to do things, like that?"

"Yes." Zane took a deep breathe. "That and the experiments definitely had a half-life."

"Dammit! Didn't anyone ever teach you to lead off with the important points first?"

"I'm not exactly the best at interpersonal communication, per my annual review." Zane admitted. "I spend a lot of time by myself working. I'm much, much better with written reports."

"Next time, write me a damned letter."


"I look stupid."

Rebecca put her hand on her hip and wished he was shorter so she could smack him upside the head. Damn men, so high maintenance. "You look great, Jean. I could do without that damned cigarette in your mouth but you look really fucking good."

He smiled and held out his arm for her as they prepared to enter the ballroom at Central Command. The military facility was designed to be impenetrable and imposing, mainly to keep the government's central offices safe but a huge part of that was to intimidate visitors. Nothing said "Don't fuck with us' better than hosting parties with these walls. It sent the same message to foreigners and Amestrians alike, nothing short of a nuclear blast would compromise the walls of this building or this regime. So as civilians and officers from far off posts walked down the halls, hearing their footsteps echo into the depths of the command center, Jean Havoc couldn't help but wonder if they realized what the architecture was subconsciously implying. He looked down at his girlfriend who looked absolutely amazing in her dress and smiled. "You look great tonight."

"I better, this dress cost a fortune." She heard him snort, she was never one to take a compliment well. "So did the underwear."

He coughed as he accidentally inhaled a bit too much smoke. "Tell me shit like that and I'm going to want to leave early."

"It's not like we paid to be here." She said and moved a little closer to him as she saw a pretty girl checking him out. Then Major Armstrong waved at them and she heard him bellow something about his little sister. Damn. Apparently having a nice rack was also one of the Armstrong traditions passed down from generation to generation. "The bank gave me the tickets since the General does so much business with us."

"I like what you're thinking Miss Catalina." He gave Breda a salute as he noticed him standing at the guard station. Crazy bastard insisted he be here tonight, he wasn't sure why he wanted to torture himself like that.

Rebecca gave Breda a smile and then checked the rest of the crowd as they finally entered the ballroom. She could see Christmas's girls waiting tables as well as hanging on the arms of some of the officers. Overall it was a decent distribution of people, the servers tended to go unnoticed , the escorts would hear the shameless boasting and she and Riza would be able to mingle. Who would really take notice of either of them anyway, just two women enjoying a party with their dates? Then there was Grumman who was a boisterous and ridiculous mess, waving his drink around and trying to relay information to General Armstrong who didn't hide the fact that she wanted to knock his geriatric ass across the ballroom. She directed Jean over to the buffet table, trying to avoid having them all deployed so close together. The server at the table smiled and handed her a little hors D'oeuvres on a folded napkin, she popped the little tomato and mozzarella beauty in her mouth and shoved the napkin into her cleavage. Thankfully Jean was busy helping himself to the 'tiny wrapped wieners' and didn't notice. She'd need that napkin map later to see if she couldn't do some investigating on her own.


Roy watched his wife go over to talk with her Grandfather who was trying to flirt with General Olivier Armstrong. There were moments like these when he wondered if the old man was starting to lose it but he wasn't about to walk in in the middle of that disaster no matter what! Instead he wandered over to pick up a wine glass and approach the dynamic duo of Kimblee and Whitman who seemed to be having a surprisingly good time. That worried him, but he was still riding that glow of euphoric bliss from the laundry room incident this morning and felt like he could handle them.

"So the scrap-booking incident?" Haley asked and watched Solf grin.

"I sort of had it coming. I used my artistic nude self portraits and underestimated the sexual appetite of the middle aged housewife." Kimblee replied and tinked his glass against Mustang's. "I should expect it being the Central Times "Most eligible bachelor of the Year", right?"

"That just shows how low the Central Times has managed to fall." Roy grumbled. God! What a fucked up world they lived in when that sleazy bastard was a heartthrob.

"Don't be so jealous, pretty boy." Solf snorted. "My good looks and perfect answers to the questionnaire solidified me as the only choice."

Roy frowned. "What questions?"

"How would I change Amestris for the better." Solf smiled.

"So they liked the answer, "Blow it the fuck up?". " Roy asked and watched the grin form on his face. "Or the fact that you're the trendsetter who wears a white tuxedo, black shirt and white tie to a black tie affair?"

"I said the country needs less warning labels so we can encourage the culling of the weakest members of the herd." Solf glanced at Alex Armstrong. "I guess it was better than whatever that muscle head said. He probably wants more Alchemist Suicide hotlines and Mandatory Parenting Classes for all these loser parents that walk out on their kids."

They both watched him saunter over to the table where the Whitman family was trying to act interested, but clearly felt themselves better than the rest of the party-goers. Roy cleared his throat. "You're not worried about him talking to your parents?"

"Can they honestly think any less of me?" Haley asked.

He shrugged. Once upon a time he actually envied her for having a family, huge home and an impressive family history. Until he actually found out how horrible their childhood was. Made him thankful that nobody ever expected him to be anything instead of trying to pound him into a mold they made for him. Speaking of molds... "So where is the bullet mold?"

Haley cocked an eyebrow and smiled as Kimblee offended her parents somehow. "I can't believe I'm actually saying this, but Kimblee's a fucking riot. He needs to go to all parties from here on out."

"The bullet mold." He repeated. "What's it going to cost me?"

"That lead I told you about...I need someone to seduce her."

"I'm married." Roy pointed at Kimblee. "Take him."

"He's not exactly seduction material. He makes people cry." Haley smirked as her Father bristled with irritation and Kimblee laughed.

"Who is this you want seduced?" He queried. It was odd for her to choose the tactic over the option of violence. Really odd.

"Her name is Solaris Whitley, she married General Whitley about a year ago." She replied and chuckled as Kimblee got his ass grabbed again by General Gribaldi. "She's way too hot and intelligent to be that moron's wife. The woman practically drips sexuality out of her pores."

"Well sometimes relationships work that way." He frowned as Kimblee threatened the old general by flashing his hands and explaining what happened when he used them. The old man grabbed his balls for it. Roy almost snorted wine through his nose.

"How bad do you want the bullet mold?"

"Fine. Take Havoc." he countered.

"And what? Sacrifice him to the pagan god of sexuality in hopes that I can somehow get her interested in me?" She looked over at Havoc stuffing cocktail wieners in his mouth. "He's like a smoking Sasquatch."

"Take Havoc, when he's successful, send him home with the bullet mold." He repeated and drank some wine.

"If he's not, book yourself a trip to West City because I'm not giving that up until I get what I want."

"Which is what?" He asked. "Confirmation she's using him for prestige and money? Use your brother, he's loaded and single. Why is this any of my business anyway?"

"Zane's saving himself for marriage and thinks my gut feeling is dumb because it has no scientific backing. He's also pissed at me for making him shock some guy into arrhythmia so I could get that information about the Bank. " She sighed. "There have been way too many instances of Cretans showing up at a convenient time to try and take out one of the top brass at Western HQ. Meanwhile our supply trains are getting hit making it difficult to re-supply places like Pendleton. This is being orchestrated from within the walls of Western HQ and every time I make a move to correct it I'm redirected. That woman showed up on Whitley's arm and everything escalated. In the last six months tactics have changed. The assassination attempt on General Vale at the operahouse, our team's compromised intelligence...they're playing by different rules now. I need someone to get in her dress and be important enough to leak her information. I know that old goat talks in his sleep, he takes a nap in staff meetings and revealed his safe combo last week."

"Why the hell can't you just tell me this instead of dancing around the issue and blackmailing me?" Roy narrowed his eyes at her and she casually shrugged.

"You would have said no. You would have filed it under Western Command problems and not yours. You happen to be a possessive asshole about your resources."

He frowned. Truth is he would have demanded proof and denied the request. He didn't work off hunches. "Well..."

"Besides...you're getting sloppy. You should have figured out I was up to something when I gave you the gun to begin with." She finished her wine and smiled.


Riza was watching Roy's discussion with Lt. Colonel Whitman as Grumman discussed current status of affairs with Olivier Armstrong. The conversation over there seemed to be getting heated.

"Olivier!" Grumman threw back his head in an outrageous laugh before covering his mouth with his wine glass and saying, "I don't care who Raven is, if he touches you again break his face and we'll bury the body."

"I can handle him." Olivier didn't need the old bastard getting protective. "He is the best lead we have on the leak so if he wants to come to Briggs for an inspection, then let him."

"All he wants to do is inspect your bed." Grumman muttered through clenched teeth and a smile. "That man is not the man he used to be."

"If he's compromising my troops, then he'll never leave Briggs alive. However I don't look at it as a slap on the wrist from Bradley for pushing for a war, I see it as an opportunity to lure an enemy into my domain and play by my rules. Let him come and lord over me with his superior rank, he's already getting sloppy trying to rub against me like a fucking cat in heat." Olivier noticed the a fore mentioned General waving at her from across the room. He was even sitting next to his wife. Nice.

Riza admired her Grandfather's rather clever way of relaying information as his face looked like he was a shameless flirt but the words coming from his mouth were all business. "Have you heard of an agent that goes by Odysseus, grandfather?"

"He'll have been a name from the past, possibly the individual who changed Drachma's pathetic spy force into something that's wormed it's way into the top ranks of our government. Probably about five years ago or more." She glared at Raven again. "Another reason I'll let that bastard think he can worm his way into my pants. I want to see how he handles a few spies that might do some name dropping."

He smiled and shook his head. Damned Bradley, he was trying to hobble them even more with this move. Sure he was trying to send a clear message to Armstrong that she was not untouchable, but it was so much more than that. "I'll task Christmas."

Olivier looked over as Mustang pointed an angry finger at Whitman and she wondered exactly what their problems was. "I'd go over there and save that moron husband of yours before she breaks his finger. Hate to have him lose his magic snapping abilities, I'm sure manually starting the fireplace would just about kill him."

Riza sighed and walked over to see what Roy was fired up about now. It was one sure way to ruin his chances at promotion if he picked a fight in front of Central's Top Brass with the General's daughter who was always looking for a fight. "Roy, sorry to interrupt but..."

Roy gave Haley one last glare and then put on his smile for his wife. "Actually, there is something Lt. Colonel Whitman wants to tell you."

Riza raised her eyebrows. "Me?"

Haley sighed. "It was my porn."

"I'm sorry...what?" Riza blinked at the other woman.

"Roy was translating my imported porn so I would have something to give to my crippled friend Sgt. McClellan for his 60th birthday. Since the weird stuff is really hard to find around here, I have to import it from Xing. Roy can read Xingese as well as use alchemy to replace the foreign text with Amestrian. He was working on it as a favor for me."

"You said it was a habit you picked up during the war." Riza looked at her husband who gave her an apologetic smile.

"He was trying to protect you and technically McClellan had his porn habit back then. See...I sort of imported illegal hentai using the military postal service and had it shipped directly to our military academy." Haley continued, the rehearsed story sounding rather convincing if she didn't say so herself. "We could have both gotten in serious trouble for it and he really didn't want to get you involved. Stupid on my part, I didn't think it through. I just was in a rush to get it translated since the shipment was delayed. Anyhow, he was covering for me and I doubt he has a porn addiction. Borderline alcoholic...definitely some mental issues...but no porn. I'm sorry if I caused problems, it wasn't my intention to make him even bitchier than he normally is."

"Really?" Riza looked up at him and saw his glare return as he seemed to want to stare Whitman into a pile of ash.

"Unfortunately yes. I lied to you to cover up my old friend's stupidity." Roy wanted to be happy with the instant line of bullshit she spit out as an excuse, but he wasn't too thrilled with the jab at his struggle with booze or his problems caused by the war. However she believed in selling a lie with truth and Riza knew his real problems even if he never wanted to talk about them.

"Who are you calling old? You're turning 30 before me." Haley snapped back and watched those dark eyes dance with anger. She was glad they didn't make pyrotex contact lenses or he'd blinker her into oblivion.

Riza wondered if that was what this was all about. He was super sensitive about his age, especially since he had accomplished so much in his early twenties then plateaued as he approached the 30 marker. "I suppose I should start planning your birthday party Roy. I'll make sure you get an invitation Colonel Whitman."

She grinned. "Wouldn't miss it! Well, if we're done here I have to go tease my brother about breaking his wrist and his new rather repugnant male secretary. " Haley bowed to them and punched Mustang's shoulder as she passed him. "Don't forget to invite Solf, he'll be the life of your birthday party!"

"Enjoy you night out with Kimblee." Roy snorted and watched her stiffen. "Maybe you should get your nose out of the porn and take advantage of that dick while you're here."

"Ha...Ha." She said dryly and waved a goodbye over her shoulder and looked for her next mark. God, it was like being in the academy again, Roy whining about his damned love life and nobody getting any damned work done because of it.

Riza turned to him and looked at his clenched jaw. "You were really going to take the blame for that, just to protect a friend?"

"Protect you. If somehow this came back on me, I didn't want you to have to lie for me." He was surprised when she kissed him.

"Thank God. I thought I drove you to looking at that garbage because I've been working so much."

"No, I...never needed anything but you." He whispered and she hugged him. He let the tension of the conversation he just had leave him and welcomed her embrace. He could hear an 'Awww' that sounded like it came from Alex Armstrong. He didn't want to turn and look in case the man already found a way to rip his shirt off.

"Sorry I doubted you." She smiled at him and watched that glow return to his face. "However right now my Grandfather wants to talk to you about your career. He doesn't understand where your ambition went."

"My ambition?" He repeated. Great! No sooner does he lose the 'pervert' label than he's saddled with 'lazy'. He looked up as Olivier Armstrong raised her glass in a mock toast and gave him a smile. Oh fantastic! Now she was going to be part of the intervention to put his career back on track? What the hell was Grumman up to? "I'm an alchemist, my ambition revolves around research and truth. Besides, I scored quite a few points having Fullmetal certified and written into the record books as the youngest state alchemist ever."

"Roy, I'm not trying to start a fight I'm just relaying an invitation to talk with my grandfather." She looked over as Grumman brushed a loose strand of Armstrong's hair back behind her ear and laughed as a vein began to throb on the woman's forehead. "Perhaps sooner the better as he apparently is trying to get castrated tonight to avoid having his annual physical exam next week."

Roy was pretty sure if he hadn't already been mentally damaged by his job that he would have been forever scarred by his encounters this week. First it was the automail penis, then Grumman flirting with Armstrong and now the mental image of some army doctor telling that old man to "turn your head and cough." Worse was that the old shit was probably going to find a way to mention he was taking his foster Mom out on a date this weekend. He was glad he put aside his ambitions for a while, clearly there was a lot more to fix about this country than just the government.


Olivier narrowed her eyes at the smiling Haley Whitman and growled. It annoyed her that the second highest ranking woman in the Amestris Military seemed to be just as bad as the rest of her family in whoring around. However that was not why she was agitated. The sneer managed to lure the other woman over. "That boyfriend of yours sent me flowers."

Haley smirked and replied without hesitation. "Not surprising. He calls out your name in bed."

That made Grumman almost choke on the hors d'oeuvers he was eating. He looked over at Kimblee who was clearly trying to threaten Gribaldi but was having a hard time doing so as he needed his hands to protect his posterior. Then Whitman cleared her throat and he looked back to her smile as she played with the straw in her drink.

"Then again, so do I." Haley watched the Ice Queen tense. "Though I'm more of a offensive player so your lack of action up in the North is beginning to cool off my fantasies. Thought you'd be more aggressive, I was hoping I'd be the one pinned down by a superior...not you."

Roy heard those cool words from his subordinate as Riza lead him over to the confrontation. He caught the look of fury in Armstrong's eyes and then looked at Grumman. Neither of them ever thought they'd be so happy to see Kimblee saunter over.

"So out of curiosity.." Kimblee rubbed his ass and frowned. "Did Grab-ass ever touch you girls in the academy because he's really coming on a little strong thanks to all that scotch."

"Lt. Colonel Whitman, "Armstrong said making sure she reiterated the fact that the woman was still way outranked . She also wasn't going to let that little comment slide, no matter what the distraction. "If you're going to pick a fight best you remember who your enemy really is. I'll give you a little hint, look West."

"I'm not in charge of the entire region, I'm just a simple soldier waiting for my turn to go to war. You however..." Haley had to pause as some awful guttural sound came from the man in a white tux beside her.

"Ugh." Kimblee spit out the little spinach quiche he picked up off the servers tray as she passed. "Since when did they start liquifying garbage and putting it in pastries?"

Roy sighed. Thank God for the tactless. At least the man was good for defusing situations as well as bombs.

"Maybe it's Soylent Green." Kimblee looked at the half chewed substance on the napkin. "Not to ruin the book or anything, but you don't seem like the crowd to enjoy that genre. Soylent Green...it's made out of people."

They all stared at him as he wrapped up the napkin and threw it at General Hakuro's drink, sinking it into the champagne glass with a splash. He turned his gaze away as the General stood and looked around for the culprit.

"I bet philosopher's stones are made out of people too. Poetic really...look into the soul to see Truth. Truth really is that spinach quiche tastes like ass." Kimblee felt around in his tuxedo pocket for a candy or something to get the nasty taste out of his mouth. He found a cherry flavored cough drop and determined it would do the trick. He looked at his date and popped the lozenge in his mouth, then grinned to show the ruby red corn syrup product displayed in his teeth. "Now cherry...that's a different story entirely."


Rebecca looked over her shoulder as she approached the ladies bathroom and made sure nobody was standing guard in the hall. She pulled the napkin out of her cleavage and looked for the office that was marked on the map. According to it she could gain access to a separate hallway through the mail room. All it would take was a few picked locks.

She put her hand into her dress and pulled the underwire out of her bra to use as a lock pick, then shoved the napkin back into storage down her dress. In a few seconds the door clicked open and she allowed herself a cocky smile before slipping into the dark room.


Roy excused himself from the party as soon as he saw Grumman slip out. He was determined to catch the old man alone, be it in his office or the bathroom, and discuss this promotion issue in private. It was drawing way too much attention to him and right now he really needed to keep everyone's eyes off him. He purposely passed Kimblee to make sure he wasn't causing too many problems. Basque Grand wasn't a man with a sense of humor nor a high tolerance for people questioning his authority.

"Crimson, you're out of line." General Grand hissed.

Kimblee snorted. Leave it to the guy in charge of the entire Alchemist corps to continually call you by your certification name to remind you who you worked for. "All I'm saying is that it would be nice if Shou Tucker made something useful. Like a unicorn! It doesn't even have to shit rainbows, it just needs to be a goddamned unicorn instead of all those fucked up monstrosities he's been churning out. It's like walking into a Miyazaki film when you go into his lab."

Roy gracefully slipped between a few tables to avoid going near that conversation. He finally spotted Hughes who raised his glass in a salute as he introduced Gracia to a few Generals. Then he saw Frank Archer marching over to insert himself into that situation in order to kiss ass and Roy turned again. He almost spilled wine on a girl and then recognized her face. "Vanessa?"

"Hey Roy!" Vanessa smiled and whispered, "Shh...don't say anything. I'm working tonight."

He nodded and continued to make his way out of the ballroom. He briefly wondered who had hired her as an escort but determined he really didn't want to know. He finished off his wine and placed it on a server's tray as he exited the room and made it into the hallway. The door shut behind him and the quiet and cool air of the hall was a welcome reprieve from the room behind him. He heard footsteps heading down to the East wing and walked briskly to catch up.


Grumman sat down at his desk and rubbed his temples. He finally managed to slip away from the party and get to his phone. He looked at the stack of 'While you were out' post-its on his desk to see if Christmas's girls had managed to find anything. Most of them were reports about the Crimson Alchemist and his suspicious behavior and ridiculous statements. Apparently he really upset one of the girls by telling her he'd rather get a blow-job from a panda because it would require fewer vaccinations. God he was weird.

He put his hand on the phone and wondered what the next generation of officers was going to do with this country. Before the war, Central was tingling with excitement over what the Academy was producing. Loyal Frank Archer, quirky but destructive Kimblee, talented and patriotic Mustang, the clever but manipulative Whitman, that sharp, observant Hughes and the deadly accurate Hawkeye. He smiled, Riza had been an outstanding cadet and her marksmanship scores still were the best they had ever seen. However he took her from that and despite the horrors she saw in her job, he was glad he did.

All those officers returned from Ishval changed, maybe not as drastic as the breakdowns of both the Strong Arm and Lightning Alchemists, but they all were different. War did that, it wasn't a foreign concept to him, however there was a distinct difference this time. These officers lost their innocence exterminating their fellow citizens, not defending their country from attack. They lacked a cause; something that would put the mind at ease when they asked themselves 'why?'. In one simple move the military used up the best group of young officers they had seen in years. If he didn't know any better, he would have said it had been done on purpose. The determination and skills they had possessed straight out of the academy, a fresh approach to strategy and leadership had been crushed and dampened out in the desert. Had they looked to Aerugo instead, they would have dealt an crippling blow to the country.

He shook his head. Seeing those faces again at the party apparently made him nostalgic. Drumming out an old, tired soldier like Gribaldi and watching the Generals of tomorrow mingle amongst old comrades made him remember how their files ended up on the table in the Fuhrer's office. The top brass ogling cadet files, aptitude test and professor assessments. Intelligence reports detailing their personal lives. How they had picked through and chose these kids futures for them, with only sheets of paper in manila folders. He drew in a deep breathe and knew his old mind was pushing those memories to resurface for a reason. He just wasn't sure what that reason was.

He finally picked up the phone and dialed Christmas's, smiling when he heard her raspy voice come over the line. "Well Hello to you too Madam. I happen to be in the mood to unwrap a little Christmas present, so why don't we start off by telling me what you're wearing?"

Roy's hand was on the doorknob as he heard Grumman's voice carry out of his office. He felt bile rise in his throat. He knew that the old General was dating his foster Mom, but knowing relationship statuses was not the same as hearing the old bastard's voice in that perverted pitch.

"Switch phones, I don't want those degenerates in the bar getting something for free...I'm not."

Roy gulped. She was charging him for this!? He wasn't surprised his foster mother would do that but he was appalled that his grandfather-in-law was paying for phone sex from his Mom! Then the cheerful old man's voice turned husky and it got worse.

"What's in it for you? How about a lonely sailor who has navigated these seas for five long years wanting for the touch of a fine woman. I'm Odysseus looking to nestle my ship in your harbor, before the weather turns and the seas freeze."

Roy turned away and shuddered. He needed to find a bathroom to either regurgitate the spinach quiche or drown himself in the toilet. What the hell was that!?


Kain Fuery threw down his headphones and shivered. "Oh My God!"

"What?" Breda asked. Was this the break through they had been waiting for?"

"I just heard General Grumman talking dirty to Colonel Mustang's Mom!" Fuery gave another involuntary shiver.

Breda patted the kid's shoulder as he crossed his arms and put his head down. "I'll go get you a drink."

"I'm too young to drink."

"After hearing that, no you most certainly are old enough." Breda shook his head. Had they uncovered anything tonight? Anything that was worth this poor kid losing his innocence like that?


AN: Thanks for reading. Reviews appreciated.