Chapter 7: Like Violence
"I think that's stupid." I cross my arms over my chest, glaring at the school's health principal.
"We're sorry, but you can no longer attend and do sports, you can't do gym anymore. We'll have to cut some of you classes for therapy. We warned you to gain weight, you didn't. So we have no choice, we only want what is best for our students, Namine, please understand." Her heavy makeup was colored funny, making her look so fake, her words were already fake anyways.
"There is nothing here to understand! If you cared, then you would know the problem! But you don't! You don't know anything! And don't pretend you do because in the end, it will only hurt me more. It's pathetic! It makes me sick!" I scream and that was it. I ran out of the office and down the hall.
How could they say they only wanted the best for me? They don't know what others are doing, but they keep snooping in the wrong people's business.
Such idiots!
I'd ask if I felt the same about the situation if I were someone else. Someone like Xion or Roxas maybe? But whatever, they don't care anymore and all because of my life long friend. Well, I thought she was however.
"Namine! Hold up!" I heard the silver haired boy running towards me. "Where are you going? What's going on between you and Kairi exactly?" He pants, supporting his body on his legs, but not doing a very splendid job.
"Why, she must have told you all of the details already, right?" I smirk weakly up at him.
"Well, I wanted to hear from you." Riku offered and walked next to me.
"I-I...my life...it's tearing apart ever so slowly. I can't even explain everything. It's not going to work."
I knew it wouldn't.
It was too long, too surreal.
"I'm always here to listen." Riku turns me so I was looking at him. "You can talk to me, remember?"
"I won't if you don't tell me, what Kairi said about me, Riku."
He chuckled lightly, "Ah, that, hm, let me see, she said that she was protecting you and that you didn't understand it yet. I think she's just very confused herself."
I nodded my head in dis-satisfaction.
"Are you ready to talk to me now? You don't have to, you can tell me any time at school." Riku rambles on and on.
"No, you can't." I stop in my tracks, head steady and prepared to talk to him about my school-too-light-problem.
The albino boy frowned and tilted his head, having his silver locks swing to his right side,"What? Why not?"
"I'm not going to be able to go to my classes. Which classes? I don't know, but I'll only have 3 instead of 6 periods."
"But why?!" Riku almost shouted. Placing his hands on my shoulders, it fit perfectly, he could probably fit two of me, in his arms. Literally.
"Because of this- I'm under weight. I'm apparently too weak and need help."
"But you were always so small and bony." He comments.
Who was I fooling? Not even myself. I knew that I was un-healthy already.
"No, I am not, I need help, underneath all of these layers of clothing, I am someone with a problem. I have issues with food. Is that what you want to hear?!" I start crying and running away from him.
Why though? Why was I running from him? Why did I think it was his fault?
It was my fault for saying that, I did this to myself.
I really convince myself that I'm alright, but I'm not, I know I'm sick. I look up all of these things about anorexia and bulimia and other eating disorders, I see what the people look like and if I don't stop, I will look like that too.
It's sickening.
I look in the mirror, I see someone who I don't want to see.
The tape measurer tells me that I'm 5ft, 1 in. tall.
I stand on the little device, that will tell me my weight now.
I'm scared as the little thing goes bouncing up and down as it beeps and calculates.
I couldn't look at it. I cover my eyes and jump off of it, only in short shorts and a tank top I tremble towards my door.
No. I have to see.
I force myself a strain of stepping on the device.
Beeping noises once more, rising numbers, lowering numbers. I peek from underneath my eyelids.
The shock. The terrifying truth.
It said it right there.
84 lbs.
Sickening me.
I cover my mouth from letting out a scream, possibly ruining me. No wait, it already ruined me. I ruined myself, mesed myself up.
The tears run down my face, I hick up and sob, it wouldn't leave me alone, I had to cry.
The phone rings, I stare at it in shock. The call is coming from-
Xion K.
I reach out to it. Pick it up and press speaker. I couldn't hold it to my ear. I was too mortified with myself.
"Hello?" She asks on the other line.
"Y-Yes?" I ask trying to sound confident, as if I haven't been crying my heart out.
"Is-, hold up! Are you crying?!" She says concerned.
"N-No..." I hesitantly answer, but a small cough and tear stained shirt tells me otherwise.
"You are! Don't argue! I can tell!" She shouts through the phone. Yep, I was definaletly not holding that phone to my ear.
I try to think of a subject to get off of the topic. "Wh-Why did you call, Xion?" I ask softly, wiping my eyes.
"I was going to tell you that it all blew over."
"What do you mean?"
"Roxas and I talked, we thought about it, wrote about it, we both learned that we're not going to be like this. We're not going to do this to you. I just wanted to let you know."
Her words stunned me. Astounded me. Lovely words.
"Hey." The voice I loved interrupted. "How are you?" He asked.
We must've been on 3 way. Did he say nothing in hopes of me saying something about them? To catch me in something?
"G-Great." I franticly say. "Uhm, I have to tell you two something."
"What is it?" They almost said in unision, I was so nervous, it was if I was seeing and talking to them in person.
"I'm not going to see you as much anymore." I swallow hard and hold my breath.
"WHAT!? Are you moving or something?!" Xion's voice ringed in the phone.
"No. But, it's just that...I feel more comfortable telling you in person, so, tomorrow okay? Bye." I hesitantly rush and push the red button indicating I was hanging up on them.
Breathing heavily, I sit down on the edge of my bed.
Groaning in my head, outloud, it doesn't matter.
But what did matter, was that I was afraid, I was going to tell them the truth.
