A/N: okay here is chapter 7 :D sorry it took so long, family stuff HAHA been a crazy few weeks but I finally had some time to finish this chapter today so I hope you enjoy :D
Also big thank you to all of you, y'all rock :D all your reviews were just so sweet, loved every one of them so thank you, from the bottom of my heart :D
Okay happy reading! :D
Chapter 7
Saturday's meeting was surprisingly easy for Maura. She was prepared for the testimony, she had gone over it with her therapist for two weeks and a couple more times on Wednesday so she barely had to think about it, which was refreshing after the day she had yesterday. And with time left in their meeting they finished off the cross-examination in a flash, giving her and Jane the afternoon and tomorrow to relax before they drove back to Boston.
And now they were on their way to see James and Bass, she couldn't be happier. She missed her tortoise and she missed James no matter how much he frustrated her sometimes.
Maura let out a sigh and looked over at Jane and smiled lightly as she thought about the weekend and how glad she was that Jane was there with her, how she wouldn't have survived this weekend without the other woman by her side.
"What?" Jane asked with a small chuckle shaking her voice as she glanced over at Maura who was smiling over at her.
Maura's eyes focus wholly on Jane, her head tilting in mild confusion, "What?"
"You're staring at me….again I might add." Jane smiled at the woman as she saw a blush rise on her cheeks, "Do I have something on my face?" Jane laughed again before she focused back on the road, waiting patiently for Maura to reply.
"Oh…No, I was just thinking about how wonderful you've been these last couple of days….last couple of weeks really." Maura smiled sheepishly before her eyes dropped to her lap.
Jane smiled over at Maura and reached out to squeeze her knee as a reply.
They fell into a comfortable silence as they made their way through the streets of DC. The sun was starting to set in the background and Maura smiled at the light bouncing off the trees on the familiar streets, getting lost in the beauty of nature instead of her busy mind.
"So what is James like?" Jane wondered, breaking the silence. She peered over at Maura, who like usual seemed to be caught in deep thought while staring out the window.
"He's nice, caring and a very bright and dedicated man." Maura smiled out the window at the memories of the man, "You would like him, he's a lot like you in some ways, except you are a little more stubborn." Maura turned to look at Jane flashing a gentle smile before she focused back on the road.
"I'll be taking that as a complement." Jane said hesitantly.
Maura laughed lightly before she spoke, "Turn in here." She pointed to a small driveway; at the end was a small two storey house with hedges, a perfectly kept garden, and little garden gnomes.
"He married?" Jane asked looking around the front lawn - it looked like a woman at least decorated the place. -
"No, she passed away four years ago…his daughter stops by to keep the lawn, he's never been very good at that, Beth wouldn't let him touch the garden." Maura laughed, "James is a very organized man when working but he's never been very good at keeping his house clean let alone keeping a garden."
"Ahh, he's more like me then you might have thought." Jane laughed and knocked on the door. "So his daughter, is she going to be here this weekend?" Jane looked over at Maura who shrugged slightly.
"Not sure, she doesn't keep a schedule. She mostly comes by when she's free or when her kids want to see him."
Jane nodded and when she was about to answer a man in his sixties answered the door and smiled at them before he pulled Maura into a hug, "It's so good to see you, Maura."
"You too, James," Maura smiled relaxing in the comforting hug. 'This is the most I've been hugged in almost my whole life.' Maura mused in her head before she pulled away and smiled at the man again.
"Oh dear…what are my manners, please, ladies come in." James said and shut the door behind him when they entered the place. James turned around to look at them before he smiled at Jane and stuck out his hand, "James Lucas, you must be Jane."
"Yes, it's a pleasure to meet you, doctor." Jane smiled politely.
"Oh the pleasure's all mine, Detective. You've been so great to Maura, she's told me a lot about you…and I would personally like to thank you for looking after her."
"Well I'll just leave you two to talk." Maura muttered before she walked off.
"It's what friends do, I know you would have done the same for Maura and I know she would do the same for the both of us." Jane smiled and watched as Maura walked out of the hallway looking around the room.
"James, here's Bass?" Maura called from the living room.
"Should be in the kitchen, dear!" James said back. "Care to move to the living room, detective? I'm getting too old to be standing all day." James laughed and led the way after Jane nodded in understanding.
When they walked by the kitchen Jane heard Maura's voice, "Hey buddy, I've missed you." She sounded both happy and sad, almost like how a person sounds when they are reunited with their friend after summer vacation. Jane smiled and looked at the doctor, "She really loves that tortoise, huh."
"Like one would love a child." James smiled as he spotted her sitting on the floor next to Bass. "That's how I found her…I had gone to get her water and when I came back she was gone. I found her sitting on the floor behind my desk just watching him." James said nodding towards Maura, "She really worried me that day." He let out a long sigh as he sat down.
Jane nodded slightly.
"Must have been scary seeing her go through that," Jane mused, never taking her eyes off the other woman, she almost looked like a kid sitting on that floor talking to her tortoise. "I don't know what I'd do if I found someone I love like that…let alone found out they were being abused…then again I would probably not think very much and deck the guy and throw him in jail." Jane laughed bitterly.
"I have thought about hitting him a few times myself but I know Maura would get angry with me if I did…she doesn't believe in violence…thinks it doesn't solve any problems, just makes more…and I agree and see where she comes from."
"Me too, but sometimes a person just needs a good swift kick in the ass to show em what's up." Jane laughed and smiled at James.
"I know what you mean, Detective but I would never betray Maura's wishes no matter how much the dick deserves it."
Jane laughed and nodded in understanding before she looked back over at Maura, "Have you ever met her parents?"
"In the nine years I've known Maura I think I met them once…it was at her med school graduation..."
Jane nodded her head, "What were they like?"
"Stiff." Was the only answer James could give as a description. "They said congratulations and kissed her cheeks, didn't even hug her..."
Jane again nodded her head as she thought about Maura and what it must have been like, "When did you and Maura meet?"
James actually smiled at this question, like the memory was enough to cure him of any aliment, like the look a father gets when they think of the first day they meet their baby or when they take their first steps, his smile was filled with love, love for a daughter that wasn't his but belonged in his heart all the same.
Jane moved from where she stood and sat in front of the man on the opposite chair.
"Well the first time I ever met her was her third year at university, I was speaking at a seminar for criminal pathology and what it would be like to work on a criminal investigation. She couldn't have been more than nineteen at the time and I guess that's what made her stand out." James let out a small laugh and glanced over at Maura who was still sitting on the floor with Bass, relatively oblivious to what he and Jane were talking about.
"Everyone else in the room was in their late twenties but not Maura, no she looked like she just snuck out of high school to come. She had at least three notebooks and even more pencils and she knew the answer to every question, I remember asking myself why she even bothered coming to the seminar if she already knew it all but when I started talking about working with detectives and being there when people had to identify their loved ones, how it felt to close a case and how it felt not to. I saw this amazement in her eyes…like I was a genius and I could do anything." James let out a laugh,
"It's weird to think that I could be amazing to such an amazing young woman, but I was…and I believe you know just what I'm talking about, Detective."
Jane nodded in understanding; she has gotten that look from Maura a few times now.
"She was a remarkable kid and became an extraordinary woman and I'm so happy to know her and to be able to call her a friend…"
Jane smiled at the man, "So what else happened that day? That couldn't have been it." Jane leaned forward, she wanted to know what young Maura was like…a girl filled with wonder, she wanted to know that woman…wanted to be able to see that woman inside the Maura she knows now, to see that light shine through and be able to go, 'Oh, there she is.' to know that she was making a difference for this woman, to know she was pulling Maura out of the cage that her life had become over time.
James smiled, "No, that's definitely not it. In a class with maybe 10 people she stood out but she also tried to blend in…but when the seminar was over and everyone left she stayed…she stared at the projector, it had a picture of an accident victim and she just stared at it. I thought she was traumatized at first then she hummed, she hummed then stood up and walked onto the stage and pulled out the rest of the slides and looked at them…I think she thought I had left but I hadn't and she placed the slides on the desk and spread them out, she must have spent 15 minutes studying those pictures until I heard that same hum, she looked over at me and sort of jumped when she realized I was standing there watching her but after the shock dissipated she motioned for me to come over and so quietly I almost didn't hear her she said, 'I don't think this was an accident' just like that." James laughed.
"She went on saying she wasn't sure because she hadn't done the autopsy and she wasn't there…and that she didn't like guessing but she went on explaining how the fractures to her skull wouldn't have been caused by the accident…and what she had gotten from the autopsy report had told her that the blow she sustained to the back of the head had cause major bleeding to the brain, she was able to get to her car and drive off maybe a few blocks before she died…" James smiled proudly toward the now grown woman, "It was an old case and the killer was already behind bars but I didn't put all the information into the file…nothing for her to draw from but the evidence, it was meant to be a little test for the students…I was so impressed that she figured it out…no one else seemed to care but her. And soon after that day she would help out at the BPD with me and Doctor Green she made notes and was a simple assistant until she graduated medical school and she came with me to DC and became my medical assistant, she skipped a few years in that territory because she had been helping in autopsy for so many years that really she only did about a year and a half before she took her exams and became an official medical examiner. She has always been a bright girl and everybody that has gotten the chance to see her at work has realized that."
Jane smiled at the man as he gazed over at Maura like a proud father.
"I love that girl like I love my own daughter…I guess it's because I've known her for so many years…I saw her grow up, detective and I would do anything to protect her." He said the last part like a protective father before their little girl goes out on a date or leaves home for the first time, it was a fact for him, and nothing could make him not protect her.
"She is one extraordinary woman…" Jane sighed and looked over at Maura as well, "I don't understand her sometimes but I don't need to to know just how lucky I am to know her and to be trusted by her."
James smiled at her, "I can tell you care about her deeply, Detective and I'm happy to know she is being loved and cared for in Boston…I don't think I would survive knowing she was all alone over there and going through everything she is."
"We've got her back…she's not alone….she won't be alone ever again if I have a say in it." Jane smiled in Maura's direction and her heart almost stopped when the doctor turned her head and caught Jane's eyes right away.
"Jane?" Maura's voice filled the room and Jane smiled bigger. 'Oh dear…I think she has me smitten...wait, what?' Jane shook her head slightly to clear her thoughts then she answered.
"Yeah?"
"Come meet Bass." Maura smiled innocently at the detective, she had the look of childlike wonder on her face again.
Jane smiled at Maura, 'there she is…' Jane thought. "Oooh I get to meet your turtle!?" Jane got up and clapped her hands in feign enthusiasm.
"Tortoise, Jane…Bass is a tortoise." Maura shook her head at the other woman.
"I know, Maur, I'm just messin' with you." Jane smiled and crouched next to Maura and Bass, "So this is Bass, huh…He's a big fella." Jane laughed and patted the tortoise's shell.
"I really don't understand your humor sometimes." Maura stated matter-of-factly.
"Only sometimes?" Jane teased with a raised eyebrow.
Maura huffed out a laugh before she replied, "Okay, maybe more than sometimes…but I've gotten better at detecting your sarcasm."
"Yup, you are a real sarcasm cracking machine." Jane said sarcastically with a small laugh.
"Thank you, Jane." Maura smiled with pride until she saw Jane trying to hold back a snicker, "You were being sarcastic, weren't you?"
Jane let out a little laugh, "Just a little bit." Jane held up her hand, her thumb and pointer finger about an inch apart.
"I did say better, not that I had gotten it down yet." Maura pointed out with a slight pout.
"I know, Maur, I'm just teasin' you again. You have gotten very good at detecting most of my sarcasm." Jane smiled and placed a hand on Maura's leg. "Now why don't we go sit in the living room and you can spend some time with James, I think Bass and you have had a lovely visit but he has to remember he has to share you." Jane joked, speaking the last part of her sentence to the tortoise.
"Yeah, you have a good point…I should really speak with him now that you two are done talking about me." Maura smirked at Jane and stood up, strutting over to James.
Jane smiled and shook her head slightly before she followed Maura into the living room.
Jane and Maura spent the rest of the afternoon at James' arriving back at the hotel at about quarter after 6 for another night of relaxation.
"What do you wanna do?" Jane asked as she kicked off her shoes and flopped onto the bed before she shifted onto her elbows to see Maura walking around the hotel room in her usual pant suit.
"Hmm?" Maura looked over at Jane before she focused back on a framed picture on the wall, straightening it as she replied. "I've been thinking about my parents lately, about telling them…"
"Oh?" Jane encouraged sitting up on the bed.
"Yeah…you remember how I said I wanted to tell them when we got back?" Maura looked over at Jane and watched her nod her head in agreement, "Well I've been thinking quite hard about it, what might happen…how I feel about it…" Maura trailed off as she stared out the window looking over the Washington skyline, "I don't think I'm ready, not yet anyway…I think I psyched myself out…" Maura laughed bitterly, "I seem to be doing that a lot lately."
Maura let out a sigh and smiled, looking at the Washington monument in the distance, "I still remember the first time I came to DC." Maura smiled at the memory. "I came here with my parents when I was eight, father had a lecture at Georgetown and mother thought it would be fun to tag alone, see the white house and visit the galleries and stuff…" Maura leaned against the window sill as she reminisced, "I think that was one of my best memories with my mother…I held her hand the whole day as she led me through the city…I held her hand while we watched fathers lecture…I didn't even let go when I fell asleep on the car ride back home."
Maura smiled again as a single tear ran down her cheek.
"That sounds like a lovely day." Jane said, still sitting on the bed. She was too enthralled to learn something about the doctors past to even move.
"It was…that one memory was the reason I chose to come to DC, I could have stayed in Boston and worked with Dr. Green but the memory of the one good day of my childhood solidified my decision to move here, that and that James was the better choice for my career." Maura smiled and turned to look at Jane, leaning her back on the wall. "I stupidly thought that because of that one good day that Washington would bring me nothing but delight."
"And it didn't?" Jane asked shifting so her feet were now hanging off the bed as she watched Maura.
"It did for a little…but soon I started to realize I wasn't fitting in…I never really understood people so I stuck to facts and statistics…and I refused to guess and those quirks seemed to frustrate most of the detectives I worked with." Maura laughed at the memories, "So after a few months being head M.E. on some cases I started to get snide remarks, yelled at and a few unpleasant nick names….personally my favorite was 'Queen of the Dead', it had a nice ring to it." Maura said with a bitter laugh.
"And then I met Don…he wasn't always mean, he was very sweet…he made me feel loved, he made me happy…we barely fought, ever. It was perfect…maybe that should have been the first clue…because no relationship is ever perfect…" Maura trailed off, her thoughts going back to the time before the abuse started, it made her sick to think about it sometimes, it made her sick how much she trusted that man.
Jane frowned at all the turmoil Maura has had to go through in her life. "You're upset." Maura pointed out as she took in the detective's expression.
"Yes, it just pisses me off the way people treat you…if they had had the patience to actually get to know you they would have loved you…" Jane trailed off, rubbing at the palms of her hands. "And what that man did just makes me sick..."
Maura smiled at Jane, "I know but I was content with what I had…for the most part. It was a good job and for Don I'm moving on from that…I'm dealing with it and hopefully one day I'll be able to look back and not hate myself for letting it happen…to be able to trust again."
Jane let out a sigh and focused on Maura, she focused on the way her head tilted slightly to the side as she pondered over things, the content smile on her lips, the way her body seemed to relax against the cool wall and her one good hand in the pocket of her pants while the other lay in her sling.
Maura let out a sigh and leaned her head against the wall closing her eyes and just breathing.
"James was telling me about the first time you two met, today." Jane spoke, lifting the room out from its silence.
"Yes, I heard bits and pieces." Maura stated as she continued to relax against the wall.
"You've known Dr. Green for so long but you two don't seem that close." Jane pointed out and Maura let out a small laugh.
"We aren't, I haven't seen him since I left Boston five years ago." Maura stated looking over at Jane.
"I see…so…" Jane trailed off not knowing how to word her question.
"Hadn't seen him before James set up the interview? No, I hadn't, so it wasn't favoritism…at least I hope it wasn't." Maura answered nonchalantly.
Jane smiled, "What was it like? Being so young and on your own?"
"It felt normal." Maura smiled slightly, "I've been independent my whole life…I didn't ask for things, I was too scared I would be a nuisance so I took care of myself, soothed my own nightmares…I learnt how to cook by watching our chef cook when my parents were away. My life was different from yours, Jane. I didn't have a doting mother, I had nannies and staff…I had teachers and roommates but I didn't really have a mom and a dad…they weren't around much."
Jane nodded as she continued to watch Maura.
"I loved them and I wouldn't change how I grew up…it made me who I am, no matter how messed up I might be…"
"You aren't messed up, Maura." Jane stated leaning forward, resting her forearms on her knees.
"Sure…because everybody has a panic attack when somebody asked them the time…or almost kills themselves in the shower…"
Jane let out a sigh, "You are just going through some things right now, but you will get through this, I'll be here to help you every step of the way, I promise, you will get through this, Maur."
Maura smiled at her, "I hope so…" she let out an awkward laugh after a few seconds and spoke as she pushed herself off the wall, "Okay, enough with this walk down memory road before I turn into an emotional mess." She quickly wiped at the tears that had fallen from her eyes from the memories.
"Lane, Maura, its 'walk down memory lane'." Jane pointed out with a slight smile.
"My mistake," Maura said before she walked over to the bed and sat next to Jane, "What do you say we play some more of those games you brought with you."
"Sure, I'll set up the games and you go get changed, then when you are done you can make some snacks and I can get changed." Jane smirked and hopped off the bed to get out her bag of games, "What do ya wanna play?" Jane asked as she looked over at Maura who was making her way to the bathroom with her night-shirt and toiletry bag in hand.
"You choose." Maura stated before she closed the bathroom door.
Jane smiled and pulled out "the Game of Life" and started setting it up on the bed.
About 20 minutes later Jane and Maura were sitting cross-legged in the middle of the bed, the board game sitting between them.
"You can't do that." Maura scolded Jane as she made the car with her "husband" and two of her "kids" crash into one of the buildings on the board, making sound effects as she did so.
"There's nothing in the instructions about having to keep them alive, anything can happen, Maura. See little Joe and Julie just went up for adoption." Jane said as she placed her two "Twins" in the back of Maura's car, "Now look at that, you and your wife just adopted."
Maura looked down at the little pieces and frowned slightly, "bu–"
"There's nothing in the rule book. Now be a good mommy and take your turn before they grow old and die in the back of your car."
Maura let out a sigh and turned the wheel, hoping for a high number since she was about two spaces ahead of Jane and had seemed to only be rolling small numbers for her last few turns. "Yes! 9!" Maura cheered before she moved her car and landed on a payday square. She stuck out her hand and smirked at Jane, "Pay up, banker."
Jane rolled her eyes with a laugh and counted out Maura's money before she took her turn, spinning a 5. "I should've picked Jenga…" Jane mumble to herself as Maura spun a 7.
"Stop complaining, you are the one that picked this game." Maura laughed and placed her car in its spot and smiled when she saw the retirement home just a few moves ahead of her, "Looks like I'm winning." Maura looked up at Jane and beamed.
Jane shook her head but couldn't help the smile that spread across her own face, "Don't get your hopes up, Princess." Jane smirked as she rolled a 10 and was now a measly three spaces behind the smaller woman.
Maura let out a groan and focused on the wheel, biting her bottom lip as she concentrated on her inner chant of "please be a 10" over and over and let out a long whine before she fell back on the bed.
"Ooooh a 2, tough luck." Jane teased before she moved Maura's car the two spaces and spun the wheel for herself.
Maura was still lying back on the bed with her right arm over her eyes.
"Look at that, I got an 8." Jane gloated and Maura sat up to look at the board.
"You better not have cheated, Jane Rizzoli." Maura warned with a playful tone to her voice.
"Scouts honor." Jane held up her fingers and smiled at the woman who was glaring at her from across the board.
Jane and Maura were now only a space apart and the end of the game was well in their grasps.
Maura spun a three, putting her in the space next to Jane, she stared down the detective as she took her next turn and did a victory fist pump when she rolled a 6 putting her one space away from the finish line.
Maura glared at Jane and took her turn getting a 5 and putting her on the same square as Jane.
She looked up at the detective with a pout and stated, "You win."
"You never know, I could roll a 1." Jane said as she spun the wheel and it landed on the number three and she smiled sweetly at the doctor before she moved her piece into the retirement home.
Maura groaned and spun, getting a 5, she moved the two spaces and smiled at Jane, "I guess second place isn't bad."
"Second out of two people." Jane stated with a smirk.
"Just because you win doesn't mean you get to be arrogant." Maura said with a pout, crossing her arms in front of her chest.
"I'm sorry, how about we sit on the floor and play some Jenga, and you never know who could win at that, totally a game of chance, patience and skill." Jane smiled at Maura and hopped off the bed throwing the life pieces in the box and bringing it with her as she went to go get Jenga out of her small suitcase.
"What do we do?" Maura asked as she walked up to Jane who was setting up the small tower.
"It's easy, I'll show you." Jane said with a smile.
"I'm going to get another glass of wine, do you want anything?" Maura asked as she wandered over to the kitchen in the small suite.
"I'll have another beer." Jane answered as she finished setting up the game.
Maura placed the beer on the floor next to Jane with her casted hand before she sat across from the other woman again and smiled, "Okay, how do we play."
Jane laughed and explained, "Well each person takes a turn and removes a block from anywhere on the tower and if you take it out without the tower falling over you place it at the top and the next person goes and you keep going but if the tower falls the game is over and you lose."
Maura smiled and nodded, "Okay, sounds easy enough." She took a sip of her wine before she spoke again, "You go first."
Jane nodded and started the game. After she successfully removed the piece without the tower falling she placed it on top and took a sip of her beer as she watched Maura scrutinize the tower, trying to figure out her best move.
When Maura found her piece she carefully moved it out. She stuck her tongue out a little as she focused fully on carefully placing it on top of the tower, wide grin spreading across her face when she was successful.
And that's how the game went until the tower started wobbling. Both girls were on their knees - as the tower had grown in size. - and they froze, Maura biting her thumb nail and Jane holding her hands out as if she could catch the falling tower when it fell but alas the tower tumbled and Jane yelled "Jenga!" as the pieces hit the floor and Maura cringed at the noise but a small laugh escaped her mouth when she tried to scold Jane about the noise.
"Shhh, Jane. People might be sleeping."
Jane let out a laugh, "It's only 8 o'clock, Maur. Anyway legally we don't have to be quiet until 11, so we are good for now." Jane smirked and Maura finally let out her laugh.
"Okay, let's play again." Maura said cheerfully before she started rebuilding the wooden tower.
About 2 hours later and 7 games of Jenga, 4 games of Uno and a hilarious game of Guess Who the girls had finally chose to call it a night since they needed to be well rested for the drive back home tomorrow and whatever the day may bring.
They both climbed into their respected sides of the bed and got comfortable, Jane was curled up on her side facing Maura who was lying flat on her back and her arms rested on her stomach.
"Good night, Jane." Maura whispered into the dark room as she started to let her body drift off to sleep.
"Night, Maur." Jane replied as her eyes fluttered closed and she let her mind drift off.
Maura stood in her living room, it was empty except for a large clock on the wall. The ticking bouncing off the walls filling the room with a loud chime as the clock struck 12.
She felt her heart speed up before she turned around at the sound of her name being called, "Mauraaaa, Mauraaaa." It echoed with the sound of the clock and soon a male figure came out from the shadows, it was Don, he started approaching her and with every step forward he took she took two back. Her back hit the wall, the clock above her head.
The ticking got louder as he got closer.
Tick
Tock
Tick
Tock
And soon he was in front of her, her body trembled with fear as he ran his hands up her arms until they found their way around her neck and started to squeeze.
Tick
Tock
"Mauraaaa, Mauraaaa." His voice drawled out, "You've been very bad, baby." Releasing her neck with one hand to wipe the tears from her cheeks, "Mauraaaa, you told on me…Mauraaaa." He spoke into her ear, squeezing her neck tighter, "You know what that means." He whispered before he craned her head to face the other side of the room, sitting on a chair bound and gagged was Jane and next to her was Bass in a cage.
"I told you I would kill who you loved most." He laughed menacingly before he pulled a gun from behind his back and placed it under her chin, "Who first? Your choice, Baby, I already picked mine when I went to go get your little pet."
Her eyes scanned the room and landed on a pair of men's shoes, James' shoes to be exact.
"No…" She sobbed as he pointed his gun to Jane, walking toward her, dragging Maura with him by her hair. "J-jane." She sobbed again and he smirked down at her,
"I agree she does seem like the best choice…maybe I'll make it nice and slowww." He drawled out the last word and pointed the gun at Jane's thigh.
The room went black for a few seconds before she heard him whisper in her ear, "uh uh, eyes open, I want you to see her die." She felt the cold metal against her neck before he whispered again, "I'll kill her no matter what, baby…even if you have to die first, now open your eyes for me." the room came back into view and Jane was sitting in the chair sobbing, she watched the gun get raised to Jane's head.
The clock getting louder in the room,
Tick
Tock
Tick
Then everything went quiet until a loud bang rang through the room.
"No!" Maura shot up in bed, sweat soaking her, and her whole body shaking from the fear that was still pulsing through her body. She felt a hand on her arm and her whole body shut down. She froze in place and her mind went dead, the only things traveling around in her mind were, 'Don't move. Stay calm. Breathe' over and over like a mantra.
She could feel her heart beating in her chest, she could hear the blood rushing in her ears and she held her breath just waiting, waiting for something to happen as her mantra echoed in her mind. She could still hear the sound of the gun shot ringing in her ears.
"Maura?" a voice whispered and Maura's heart slowed down a bit, that voice was not Don's, "It's okay, sweetie. It was just a bad dream…you are safe now."
'Jane…' her brain finally registered the voice and she turned to look at the other woman in the dark of the room, "J-Jane?"
"Yeah, it's me." Jane spoke quietly, running a hand up and down Maura's arm. Jane felt Maura's whole body shaking, she felt the stickiness of sweat on Maura's arms and she let out a sigh, "How about I turn on a light, how's that sounds?"
Maura nodded in reply before she registered it was too dark to see and she managed to croak out a small yes, her throat dry and scratchy from what she guessed was from screaming. When the light was on, Maura was met with the sight of Jane, looking worried as ever but alive and just the sight of her was enough to break free the sobs that have been fighting to come out.
Maura hugged Jane, her hands reaching behind the other woman and holding onto the back of her shirt for dear life with both hands, - not caring about her cast and how hard it was to grip onto something in that moment – she tucked her head into Jane's neck and sobbed.
"You died….he killed you." Maura sobbed and Jane wrapped her arms tighter around the smaller woman.
"I'm fine, honey. It was just a dream…I'm fine." Jane placed a comforting kiss to the side of Maura's head before she mumbled, "I'm fine, it was just a dream." Over and over until the tight grip Maura had on Jane's shirt loosened and her body relaxed a bit. "It's okay…" Jane whispered as she felt Maura's body continue to shake with silent sobs.
Jane shifted them slightly then started rocking Maura side to side, humming quietly hoping to lull her into sleep or at least calmness.
And soon Maura's body went slack in hers and she heard a small snore from the other woman and knowing that Maura was finally asleep she let out a small sob she had been holding in since she woke up to Maura calling her name and muttering "no" over and over again. She pulled Maura into her lap and laid back, Maura's head was resting on her shoulder, still tucked into her neck and carefully she stretched out her legs, Maura's falling in between hers as her two hands gripped onto the sides of Jane's T-shirt.
Jane hummed as she rubbed Maura's back, silent tears falling down her face. 'How can someday do this to someone…' She thought, 'How…' she let out a sigh then continued to hum into Maura's ear, her head resting against Maura's as she too slowly started to fall asleep, the light in the room still glowing.
The shrill ringing of the phone started both women awake, Maura practically leaped across the bed and Jane reached lazily for the blaring object.
"What!?" Jane growled into the phone.
"Detective Rizzoli?" The questioning voice of Aaron Randle sounded through the phone and Jane pulled it away from her ear to look at the device and there in her hand was Maura's cell phone, how it got on her side of the bed she'll never know.
"Yeah, what are you calling for? I thought she finished yesterday." Jane replied finally, her eyebrows creasing before she laid eyes on Maura who was hugging her knees on the other side of the bed, watching Jane closely.
'Holy shit,' Maura thought resting her forehead on her knees trying to calm her heart, 'Just breathe, Maura. Everything is okay, it was just a phone ringing, no big deal…not the end of the world….not a threat of any sort so for the love of god calm the fuck down!' She told herself, her heart still hammering in her chest, just barley being able to hear the words being spoke over the sound of her pulse in her ears. She faintly registered the sound of her name, followed by a few jumbled up words making no sense and nothing to try to piece things together with, 'Calm down…breathe…focus.' Maura sucked in a long breath, her heart starting to go back to its normal pace, slowly but just enough for her to make out a few more words than before.
"I'll try once she calms down. You startled the crap outta her, Detective." Maura could hear the irritation in Jane's voice, but also the care in it.
Maura glanced up from over her knees and caught Jane's eyes right away, they were focused intently on her while she used the last little bit of her attention to focus on the phone conversation she was having.
"Who…who is it?" Maura managed to get out and Jane smiled, releasing a sigh before she answered.
"It's Detective Randle, he wants to talk to you about something."
Maura took another deep breath before she reached out her hand, it still slightly shaking from the adrenaline that was coursing through her body.
Jane smiled and placed the phone in Maura's hand before she reached out and placed a comforting hand on the first thing she could reach.
Maura's eyes shot back to Jane's as she felt her hand on her foot, slowly caressing the top and Maura let out a sigh, feeling her body start to calm down more.
"Aaron?" Maura spoke into the phone and heard the man let out a breath of air himself.
"I'm sorry I startled you, Maura. You are just usually up by now, so I thought it would be an okay time to call." Maura glanced over to the clock by the bed and her eyes widened slightly, 10:38am.
"Oh." Maura answered dumbly as she focused on the time, trying to figure out why she slept so late, she was always up by about 7 each morning, sometimes earlier if she had a nightmare, no matter how much they exhausted her she was never able to relax after. "Oh…" Maura mumble as memories of her nightmare last night and falling to sleep in Jane's arms came back. 'Well makes sense why I had to scramble off of her this morning…'
"Maura?"
The sound of Aaron's voice pulled her out of her thoughts with a small jolt. "Yes, sorry…I ah had a nightmare last night and I guess the exhaustion knocked me out." She dropped her casted hand to her side, her fingers finding Jane's hand that still rested on her foot, trying to get as much strength she might need for this conversation.
"Oh, I'm sorry, Maura. Are you okay?"
"Yes, I'm fine, Aaron." Maura answered, her eyes meeting Jane's again as she got a reassuring smile from the taller woman.
"Good…" Aaron paused, not sure if he should say what he was really calling for, but then again it wouldn't hurt to offer. "Maura, I know when you left you didn't take a lot of things with you and if you want you can come down to the precinct and pick up the keys to your place…crime scene finished with the place ages ago and well maybe you might want to grab a few things that you couldn't when you left." Aaron got out quickly.
'Crime scene? My house was a crime scene...' Maura thought before she tried to articulate an answer. "Uhh…I….ummm I'll come and get the keys for sure….I'm not sure if I'm ready to go back there just yet…maybe next time I come back." Maura looked up at Jane and smiled and Jane squeezed her foot and smiled back.
"Okay, Maura, sounds good…just come by to get the keys whenever you are ready. It seems to be a slow day today so I should be here but if not I'll leave the keys with James."
"Okay, thank you, Aaron." Maura smiled, her heart starting its fast rate again.
"No problem, Maura. I'll see you two later hopefully."
"Yes. Goodbye, Detective." Maura said before she hung up the phone and rested her forehead back on her knees. "I'm exhausted." Maura mumbled when she felt Jane squeeze her foot. She felt the bed shift slightly and soon she felt Jane's hands on her calves before they were placed on either one of her shoulders, the bed shifted again and she could feel Jane sit next to her, their feet bumping when Jane moved to sit in the same position.
Jane rested her head on her knees, turning it to face Maura. She watched her for a few seconds before she moved the woman's hair out of her face tucking it behind her ear and smiled when she saw Maura smile slightly, her eyes opening to glance at her through the corner of her eye.
"Hey." Jane whispered placing a hand on Maura's back.
Maura's smile grew a fraction bigger and she whispered a small "hi" back. "I don't know what to do, Jane…" Maura let out a sigh before she closed her eyes again, "I'm sorry about last night…you must have been so worried….I'm sorry I worried you….you shouldn't have to deal with this kind of stuff, not when you aren't working…you should be able to relax on your time off not have to worry about me…not have to be stuck on cop mode because I'm such a mess…I…I would understand if you wanted to leave….I'm not worth it…I'm used to being alone….I'll be okay, you can leave, I'm nothing anyway." Maura finished, a tear rolling down her cheek. "I'm not important, Jane. You can leave…don't feel obliged to stay."
Jane's hand stopped on Maura's back and Jane shook her head at the other woman, "No, Maura….Maura….look at me." Jane sighed and moved her position again so she was facing Maura's side. She reached out again and moved her hair out of the way, "Look at me, Maura."
Maura opened her eyes when she heard the urgent tone in Jane's voice and glanced over to look at her face and her heart broke when she saw the hurt look on Jane's face. Maura let out a sigh and spoke loudly this time. "See I already hurt you!" Maura moved from her huddled position and turned to look at Jane, "I hurt you! I….I…" Maura stuttered before she got off the bed and started to pace, Jane following her with her eyes. "I don't want to cause you pain, I couldn't live with myself if I caused you any kind of pain!" Maura cried, the memory of Jane in her dream hitting her like a truck, "I don't know what I would do if just knowing me hurt you…" Maura let out a sob, her head hanging as the tears fell, 'I don't want him to hurt you, and I couldn't live without you…not anymore, not after I know what it feels like to be cared for.' Maura finished in her head.
Jane got off the bed and walked over to Maura, taking her face in her hands and raising her head, but the smaller woman's eyes focused downward, not wanting to see Jane hurt. "Look at me, Maura." Jane begged, wiping the tears from her cheeks with her thumb, "Please, look at me." And sure enough Maura's eyes rose and met hers. The tear filled hazel eyes nearly breaking her heart. "You haven't hurt me, you will never hurt me…I'm not going anywhere, Maura…you're stuck with me."
"I'm not worth it, Jane…I don't deserve you, I don't deserve to be cared for…I'm broken...I'm unimportant….I'm nothing." She muttered her eyes falling away from Jane's for a second until she felt Jane's thumb run over her cheek again.
"You aren't nothing, Maura, you are everything, you're extraordinary, you're smart, you're kind and you're incredibly strong. You may be broken, but we all are, we all have baggage but we just need to find someone who can help lighten that load, to fix our cracks and bruises…to make us feel whole again, to make us feel at home. And if I have to tell you how amazing you are for the rest of your life, so be it because I'm not going anywhere, you mean so much to me, Maur, you are my best friend…you make me feel free, and important and loved, you make me laugh and I would listen to you go on and on about science all day if it made you happy, because seeing you happy makes me know I'm doing something right….you make my baggage lighter, Maur…and I can't lose you, I won't…you are important and it kills me that you can't see that, that you won't believe it because of that prick, he is nothing, he is the one that means nothing, Maura. Not you, you are strong and brave and, and you are everything."
Maura cried harder, Jane's words settling in her heart, making themselves at home, fixing a few cracks, healing. "I can't lose you, either…I don't want anything to happen to you Jane…I can't…I can't let him hurt you." Maura sobbed dropping her eyes.
"I don't care about him, Maura, I care about you…I'm not going anywhere, not ever." Jane spoke, "I told you I'd be here no matter what and I never break my word." Jane spoke with a type of sureness that made Maura look up at her, "You can't make me think otherwise, Maur. No matter what you say I'm not going anywhere."
Maura let out a sigh and moved into Jane's embrace, dropping her head so it rested on her shoulder, "You are too stubborn for your own good, Jane Rizzoli." Maura mumbled.
"Sometimes yes but this time I'm stubborn for my own good." Jane stated wrapping her arms around Maura and pulling her into a tight hug, "You are everything." Jane whispered and Maura finally relaxed, wrapping her own arms around Jane and tucking her head into the crook of Jane's neck and they stayed in silence for a few minutes until Jane spoke up again, "What did Detective Randle want?"
Maura sighed, the anxiety that had been slowly filling up since last night had drained, she felt relaxed but Jane always did that, always helped her calm down. "He called to tell me I could come get the house keys from him…they changed the locks after they arrested Don but I didn't get the keys since I was still in the hospital and then James dropped me off at the airport right after I got out." Maura spoke calmly, her head still tucked into Jane's neck.
"Oh, okay…when do you want to go?" Jane asked.
"In a bit…" Maura mumbled before she tightened her hold on Jane and let out a sigh, her eyes closing.
"Okay." Jane agreed quietly and hugged Maura tighter, her hand moving into her hair to rest at the base of her neck, she moved her thumb back and forth along her skin subconsciously. "Okay…" Jane sighed before she too closed her eyes, relaxing from the embrace.
'Oh, god…I needed this, she had me so worried…' Jane thought as she started swaying them slightly. 'She's means everything to me, I can't lose her.'
'What was I thinking? Trying to push her away…that would have hurt all the same…' Maura thought.
A/N: hope you enjoyed this chapter :D I'll hopefully be working on the next one soon :)
take care,
Angela
