Ten Things That You Should Never EVER Let The Maximum Ride Characters Do
This disclaimer shall now be known as 'The Quest To Make James Patterson Alive Again'.
Me: Noooooooo... /sniffles/
Random Passer By: Are you OK, little girl.
Me: I'M NOT LITTLE! Jeez, I'm the tallest in my class. And I'm not OK.
RPB: Whats wrong?
Me: I KILLED JAMES PATTERSON! And now maximum ride doesn't exist, and fangles is dead, and the world won't get saved, and I'll never have wings! /bursts into hysterical sobs/
RPB: /backs away slowly/ It's OK. Just stay there, and I'll get help...
Me: You think I'm mad? YOU'RE RIGHT!
RPB: /runs away very quickly in oppsoite direction/
Me: Watch where you're going!
RPB: /crashes into old granny?
Me: Thats gonna hurt in the morning!
Later...
Fans: YOU KILLED JAMES PATTERSON!
Me: Oops. Not deliberately!
Fans: You must pay!
Me: GOT IT!
Fans: Oo?
Me: We need to get JP back, right? So, if JP is gone, then all the Itex plants have too, right? Now, I have a reliable /coughcough/ source of info, that says Itex have an advert on ebay-
Fans: Oo?!
Me: OK, so it sounds odd, but... /grabbs RPB's laptop/ ebay... ebay... AHA! Nope, the ad's still up! We must find Itex, and then we will find Jeb!
Fans: Really?
Me: Yep- er, nope, but it's worth a try. And if we don't, I'll have nothing for a disclaimer!
Fans: Sounds good to us.
Me + Fans: WE ARE NOT JP! WE MUST FIND THE EXALTED JP AND RETURN HIM TO LIFE, FOR WE ARE NOT HIM!
So, the disclaimer becomes more random... which didn't think could happen... but watch this space!
Next..
JEB!
(Traitor! I hate him.)
1. I will not let him have any more kids. (I mean, come on! One dead and Eraserfied. One whith wings, running for her life, and charged with saving the world. Not exactly the advert for responsible parenting.)
2. I will not let him out of the lunatic hospital for unstable minds... oh wait, somebody already did that.
3. I will not let him read any more hallmark cards...
4. I will not let him become a teacher. Or any job that requires social interaction.
5. I will not let him eat sugar... actually, that applies to ALL maximum ride characters... Apart from Fang. Fang high on sugar, that would be funny!
6. I will not let him live on his own. He'd forget to feed himself, and die, and then I'd be arrested for neglect... even though he's an imaginary, evil character...
7. I will not let him stalk, date or get married to Dr. Martinez.
8. I will not let him kidnap Ella, and then claim it was because he's her step-father.
9. I will not let him go to college on a refresher biology course, and then tell all the other students to join Itex.
10. I will not let him brainwash nargles into taking over the world...
Bonus 11! I will not let him near any little kids. The urge to mutate them may be too strong... (thanks, St. Fang Of Boredom!)
A/N I know! I KNOW! I'm such a dreadful, horrible authoress. I desrve to die. So, to make up for my horribleness, I shall update... TWICE! Jeb and Total. And in case you haven't guessed from this list, I hate Jeb... I don't care if he is good, I still hate him. But, thanks to my lovely reviewers who are so nice and forgiving... Hopefully... whimpers PLEASE DON'T KILL ME! Actually, if anyone has time, I'd go and read the reviews. They are seriously funny... you guys make me laugh... and now my parents think I've lost my mind. But, thanks to:
MaXiNexSpAzxOfxThExWoRlD - Please stop murdering book characters... its really rather wearing having to listen to their complaints. They want me to keep you under control, you see. But I know thats impossible. As for 'To be mentally ill, you have to WANT it', I never get anything I want... not wings, or to be in books, or to have Fang randomly abduct me... But it's a nice idea. And just to let you know, every time you review, I get more and more worried about you're mental health. I'll do Omega when I feel like it. And I wasn't in a library, and I wasn't worried. And I think I'm gonna shut up now...
A Silenced Angel - Mutant Dairy Cows, now there's an idea... but too late. I've already taken over the world, as you can see. And as for issues, yep! But they don't need working out. They're happy as they are.
Breze Lee - Playing russian roulette is bad... unless it's with water ballons, that is! I did that once, it was fun...
EnergyAngel - You really, really don't want a vampire for a friend. It means that they sit in maths and bite their arm for the whole lesson... which is seriously creepy, and rather disturbing if you're trying to work.
bloodfang therandomflockmember - OK. I forgive you. But beware, I am watching. If you put so much as a finger on my books... /thinks happy pyromanical thoughts of blowing people up/
FangTheBookBlow-Upper - Whoever said I wasn't a mutant? Be afraid, be very afraid... I could get ver angry if you upset me by, say, poking me... MWA HA HA! (I feel so EVIL!)
St. Fang Of Boredom - Thank you for finally poking me into updating... and I used your idea! The one with not flock/max was one I'd alreday made up, but it was a good idea... Sorry for nearly getting you kicked out of your library. But if anyone asked, I had nothing to do with it, right? /shifty eyes/
- SparxFlame
(P.S. If anyone has any special requests for characters they would like to see up here, then please review and tell me. I will do my best to write them up)
The line up so far: Total, Omega. (No one's asked for Ari yet!)
oO0Oo
