Disclaimer: This story is a work of fiction. Ms. Meyer owns Twilight and all of its characters, no copyright violation is intended. References to real people, places and groups are used fictitiously. The plot is my original work. No copying or reproduction of this work is permitted without my express written authorization.
Thanks to Annie for her great advice, you are a fantastic prereader, wifey! And I miss you like crazy. Please be careful over there and CALL ME!
Also, to my lovely talented betas LaMomo and Eifeltwr, I flove you with all my effing heart!
WARNING: THE NEXT CHAPTER CONTAINS VIOLENCE AND GRAPHIC MATERIAL. IF YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH THIS, PLEASE DON'T FLAME!
I WON'T WRITE THIS KIND OF SCENE AGAIN. THIS STORY IS NOT ABOUT THIS, BUT IT IS A NECESSARY EVIL FOR THE SAKE OF THE PLOT.
THANK YOU AND JUST HOLD ON TIGHT.
Chapter Song: "Bad Wisdom" by Suzanne Vega [www. youtube. com / watch?v=cEz5il1Syhc]
CHAPTER 6: Confessions
I watched as Riley ate the third serving of fettuccini that Felix had prepared before he left for the night. I knew it was dangerous to be left alone with Riley, but Christ, he looked like shit! He was way too thin and the odour emanating off him when he arrived made me gag. As soon as he walked into the house I sent him straight to the guest room on the third floor to take a shower and shave. I gave him one of my tees and a pair of sweatpants with drawstrings on the waist, but the clothes still looked huge on him and made me realize how bad he really was, since he used to be of Jasper's build, which was one size larger than mine.
"Christ, Rye. What the hell have you been doing the last month and a half?"
I had found out through my call to Victoria, that after the search at the beginning of the year, Riley had been suspended, but since he refused to go to rehab, he'd been eventually expelled. The rehab had been a condition set by the Principal for him in order to be able to graduate with us in May. That was when he left the apartment where he lived with Vicky and started crashing at friends' houses. Victoria had had his credit cards blocked and his account frozen, thinking that maybe he would return once he had run out of cash.
Boy, she really didn't know how quick-witted her little brother was, huh?
Victoria had told me that, after her trip to Tokyo to help Carlisle fight for Sayuri's custody (that was a conversation waiting to happen), she'd come home to find her home completely destroyed and all of her jewellery boxes and the safe empty. There was no forced entry and the security camera had captured Riley coming into the apartment. She did the only thing she could think of.
She'd reported him to the police.
That was one and a half months ago.
"Been around, Eddie," he answered between mouthfuls of fettuccini.
I rubbed my face, trying to think of something to say to him. He was high, I could see it perfectly through his dilated pupils that made his eyes look almost black, and the way he was looking around told me was trying to find something to steal and trade for his next fix.
After Bella had left with Sayuri, Felix and I locked my parent's rooms, the media room and every unoccupied room as well as the entrance to the fourth floor. The only available rooms where Carlisle's, which was locked with a key he had in his pocket, mine and the guest bedroom where Riley would be staying till Vicky arrived in two hours. Carlisle was supposed to be here by now, that was why Felix had left. But fifteen minutes after Felix had walked out the front door, I got a text from Dr. Cullen himself telling me there had been an accident and he was stuck in the ER for another hour.
One Hour.
Alone with Riley.
I almost shuddered at the thought.
Seeing him now, I knew I could take him down if he tried anything. Besides, he knew that if he did in fact try something, Commissioner Swan would have his ass in prison faster than he could snort a line of coke.
Just one hour, Edward. Be cool and keep him calm.
"Oh God, I missed Felix's cooking," Riley moaned, stretching on the leather armchair he was sitting on as he pushed the empty plate over the coffee table in front of him.
I had kept him away from the kitchen as much as possible, knowing he could use something in there as a weapon. I kept locking and unlocking the kitchen door every time he asked for more food or something to drink. I knew I was acting a little paranoid, but I didn't give a shit. I wasn't taking any risks of him getting a weapon and using it against me.
I had taken his clothes and put them in the washing machine after he'd gotten into the shower. I had searched his pockets and found only a few receipts of the pawn shop where he must've sold Victoria's jewellery.
Nothing else.
My guess was he kept his stash pretty close to him.
Please God, don't let him have a switchblade with him.
I had kept my distance from him, always moving around him away from his reach and always with some kind of furniture between us. Like right now, we were in the living room and he was sitting in one of the armchairs near the fireplace while I sat opposite him, close to an exit, with the coffee table between us.
He was looking at me, or more like eye-fucking me, and it was freaking the fuck out of me.
"My God… you are still so fucking beautiful," he bit his bottom lip and I saw him adjust himself.
Don't gag… Don't gag… Don't gag…
"Thanks," I mumbled.
He chuckled, "Still not used to receiving compliments, Eddie?"
"Don't call me that," I snapped.
Riley lifted his hands in surrender, "my apologies, Edward." He said my name stretching it and making a show of his tongue rolling inside his mouth.
Don't shudder… Don't shudder … Don't shudder …
"So," he clapped his hands, making me jump and take a step towards the exit. Riley just smiled wickedly at me, "so jumpy!" he chuckled.
"You were saying," I asked trying to slow down my poor racing heart.
"I'm tired. Can I crash before my dear sister arrives?" he asked without humour and no wickedness.
I hadn't told Riley about Carlisle, I'd only told him about Vicky coming to talk to him in two hours. Maybe if he felt like it was just the two of us, he would feel more comfortable to talk to me. So far, that was not working at all. I was feeling only more and more tense in his presence and his looks were really starting to frighten me. I searched in his eyes for any kind of deceit or lie, but shit if he didn't just look in fact exhausted.
"Yeah, sure…" I mumbled and stood up motioning with my hand for him to go ahead of me.
I'm not stupid to give him my back!
He stood up slowly, as if he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, and trudged up the stairs looking at me over his shoulder. I noticed he had a small limp, and made a mental note to ask Carlisle to check him out once he was here. I looked at the clock on the hallway of the second floor on our way to the guest room, and noticed it had only been seventeen minutes since I got Carlisle's text.
Forty three more minutes.
You can do it, Edward.
Keep calm.
Keep it together.
As soon as Riley walked into the guest bedroom, he plopped down on the bed and started snoring. I waited a few minutes, watching him from the door as he slept, to make sure this was not a trick. A few minutes later, I walked out of the room and locked him in with my key and went straight to my bedroom. I sat down on my bed and let out the breath I had been holding ever since Riley walked into the house.
I just couldn't believe how much he had changed in the last couple of months. I knew from Victoria that his addiction was getting worse, but I never imagined he'd be this bad. I felt a fear now that I had never experienced before and the way he was looking at me… I got goose bumps just thinking of his hazel eyes raking over my body like I was something to eat. I used to feel empowered by the lust in his eyes, now I just felt sick and scared. I was so lost in my thoughts and so stressed out that I forgot to lock my door. I should have also known better than to sit with my back to the door.
I stood up from my bed and made my way to the balcony to get some fresh air, when I was hit in the head with something heavy. The force of the blow sent my body slamming into the nightstand and I slid down to the floor.
When I looked up, I saw Riley standing above me, holding a thick book in his hand and I immediately knew that I had to make a run for it. A little dazed from the blow, I tried to make an exit to the balcony, but Riley kicked me in the ribs, making me scream in pain. He quickly kneeled down next to me and removed my belt from my waist while I was trying to catch my breath.
He grabbed me by the hair making me scream in pain and as he tossed me to the middle of the room like a rag doll.
"Riley! Stop!" I yelled as I try to scramble towards the door.
Riley stepped on my knee and I heard the bone cracking.
"You broke my knee!" I cried.
"Shut up!" he backhanded me and pushed me to the floor on my stomach.
I tried to escape but he pushed his knee on my back, trapping me on the floor.
"Please, Rye, don't do this!" I pleaded with him.
"I said, SHUT UP!" he growled and grabbed my head and knocked me against the floor, hitting me on the forehead.
I was bleeding down my nose, and I couldn't feel my leg below the knee where he had broken it with his foot. I was gasping and sobbing, trying to fight him, but I was dizzy and disoriented from the blows to my head. I heard the clink of my belt as he tied my hands against the small of my back. He tied them together so tight that I could barely feel my fingers from the pressure as he cut my circulation.
"I thought of just leaving you here and take your most prized possessions to a pawn shop, but looking at you like this," I saw him bite his bottom lip with a look of lust that made me shudder in fear, "I can't pass this opportunity, Eddie." He chuckled evilly.
I had no idea what he wanted until I saw him stand up and start untying the string of his sweatpants. I started trashing, trying to escape him and what he was about to do to me. I looked at the clock and prayed for Carlisle to arrive.
Fuck! Fifteen more minutes!
"I'm going to take what you have denied me all this time, Eddie," he sneered down at me.
"Please, Riley, don't. PLEASE!" I sobbed against the floor completely unable to move.
"Don't worry, Eddie. I'll be gentle." He laughed as he snaked his arms around my waist and ripped my jeans off.
Oh God, this was really happening.
Why didn't I listen to Bella?
Why didn't I ask Felix to stay till Carlisle arrived?
Why did I try to play the hero?
I couldn't fight him off, my knee was broken and I was tied down on the floor. I was completely at his mercy. I thought of my mom and my dad and wished for them to be here. I thought of Bella and started sobbing, recognizing what she'd once been through. I thought of Em and Jazz and cursed myself for not thinking of calling them and asking them to stay with me tonight. I thought of Sayuri and thanked God that Bella was with her; the last thing I wanted was for her to be near the monster that was Riley. I thought of Carlisle and how my last words to him were of hatred. I just wanted to tell him that I loved him, because God, I loved him, so fucking much. I knew that, rationally, it was far too soon to actually be in love with him, however, my feelings were undeniably real and so fucking strong. It made no sense to fall in love with someone so quickly, but I had, completely and irrevocably.
I sobbed, trying to find a way to escape and coming up with nothing.
I truly could not escape.
And Riley was going to rape me.
Oh God… Please! Help me!
I started screaming for Riley to stop, hoping that my screams could be somehow heard from the street, though I knew that was not possible. I started offering him things, bargaining with him. I offered him money, clothes, food… Fuck! I think I offered him my car in exchange to let me go. I knew he wouldn't listen; he was high and had a crazed look on his face.
I tried so hard to get free, but the pain in my knee and the throbbing in my head kept me planted on my spot. I couldn't focus, Riley took advantage of that and started feeling me up. I was crying uncontrollably and felt disgusted when his fingers grazed my torso, my back, and my thighs. He was breathing hard down my neck and I could feel his lips make contact with my shoulder. He suddenly bit me there, hard, and I cried out in pain.
He marked me!
The bastard marked me!
"I own you, Eddie; you are mine to do with as I please!" The words spilled from his mouth like venom. "Why couldn't you just stay with me? We were great together! We should have stayed together…" he sobbed at the end.
"Rye… Please…" I sobbed against the carpentered floor. "Please…" I begged between my sobs, "please don't do this, PLEASE!"
"I'm sorry baby, you know I love you. Why do you make me do these things?" he croaked above me while he took off his sweatpants and socks.
He wasn't making any sense!
I tried to scramble away from him while he was standing, but I knew it was futile. Riley laughed at my pathetic attempt to escape and picked me up, punched me square in the face and let me fall back down on to the ground. He kicked me one more time in the ribs and I felt all the air leave my lungs.
I felt Riley tug down my briefs.
Oh my God… This is it….
Carlisle.
I love you.
Suddenly I heard my bedroom door slam open and saw Jacob running and tackling Riley to the floor as I heard Carlisle yelling for me.
"Edward! EDWARD!" I heard his beautiful voice scream.
"CARLISLE!" I cried out in relief. I could hear him running up the stairs and then finally saw him at my bedroom's door, still wearing the blue scrubs from the hospital, and with a frantic Victoria behind him.
He looked around the room till he spotted me on the floor, "Oh my God, Edward!" he gasped.
He ran to me and I cried in relief, in pain, in gratitude. As soon as my hands were free, he turned me around slowly and held me in his arms; he was lying down on the floor next to me. I tried to sit up, but Carlisle stopped me before I could move.
"Don't move, Edward, please. Stay on the floor, I need you to stay still. You might have a concussion and I don't want your knee to get worse, okay?" he said with tears in his eyes and running his hand gently through my hair. "Vicky, call 911. We need to take Edward to the hospital!" he ordered without taking his eyes off me.
Oh God, his blue eyes.
I love you.
Thank you.
I'm sorry.
I love you.
I heard grunting and saw Jacob still struggling with Riley. Luckily, Jacob being the mountain of a man that he was, had Riley already pinned down on the floor and was struggling to keep him down.
"You're mine, Eddie, MINE!" Riley yelled under the weight of Jacob's body with a crazed look in his eyes making me whimper in fear.
"Oh Riley…," I heard Victoria sob as she took in the state of his brother. She talked on the phone for a few minutes. She hung up and said the ambulance and the police were on their way.
I looked back at Carlisle; he was crying silently and mumbling unintelligibly to himself. He leaned down and kissed me on the cheek. I whimpered at the feel of his lips on my skin.
"I'm sorry, did I hurt you?" he asked with panic in his eyes. His hand was still stroking my hair, but then made a move to pull back.
I quickly grabbed him by his shirt, "No, please… Stay with me." I sobbed against his shoulder.
"Always, my sakura boy," he whispered in my ear making me sigh in happiness at his term of endearment for me.
"Carlisle…" I whispered back, his name sounding like a prayer.
I suddenly felt nauseous and gagged when the smell of blood really hit me. I rolled onto my other side, away from the comfort of Carlisle's body, and puked all over the carpet. Carlisle just rubbed my back and held my head as I emptied my stomach on my bedroom floor. Once I stopped gagging, he pulled me back slowly against him. His eyes roamed all over my body, checking for my injuries, then he took a handkerchief from his pocket and started dabbing my forehead. I never took my eyes off his. I could see so many emotions run through them: relief, anger, sorrow, concern, fear, and something else…
I thought… perhaps…
Was that…
Love?
Oh God, please let it be love.
Carlisle, I love you.
I was getting dizzier and I thought I was hyperventilating; I just couldn't take a deep breath. I could see that Carlisle was moving his lips, saying something, but the ringing in my ears didn't let me hear anything. A small sob escaped my lips and then suddenly everything went black.
I groaned when I felt I was being moved from one place to another. I couldn't open my eyes, everything felt heavy and it hurt like hell. I could hear people around me talking and some beeping sounds. A hand stroked my hair softly and tenderly, it felt nice.
"You'll be fine, my sakura boy. I'll be waiting for you…" I heard someone whisper in my ear. I knew that voice, it was deep and soft like velvet. I struggled to remember whom it belonged to, but before I could identify it, darkness overtook me again.
A thick fog clouded my mind, making it nearly impossible for me to think coherently. Slowly, I began to feel each of my limbs, wincing at the pain on my knee and ribs. The haze and darkness receded, allowing me to take in my surroundings. I kept hearing this infernal beeping sound coming from my left, making my head feel like it was being hit by nails. My eyelids felt as if they were weighed down by leaden bricks. I focused on opening them, struggling, until I was finally able to crack them open a little bit and see behind my eyelashes. I was in a white room and I could feel soft sheets beneath me.
Where was I?
What happened?
Was I waiting for someone?
I remembered pain and the smell of blood…
I gasped as everything came back to me, the memories flooding my mind and making me feel dizzy for a moment. Everything that happened came back to the forefront of my mind - waiting for Riley, feeding him and then locking him in the guest bedroom. I cursed myself for being so stupid to think that a locked door would stop him from doing anything. I remembered Riley attacking me, pinning me down to the floor, looking crazed and lustful.
Me, begging Riley to let me go and struggling to get free on the floor.
Riley, taking off his clothes and ripping my jeans off while declaring I was his.
Jacob, tackling Riley to the floor and getting him off me.
Carlisle, arriving and holding me, trying to console me.
A sob ripped through my chest, making me feel the pain in my ribs, where that motherfucker had kicked me several times. I whimpered and moaned in pain, feeling the increasing pressure on my chest, but I couldn't stop trembling and whimpering. It was like I was living through the whole thing all over again.
I jumped and screamed when I felt a hand on my arm, until I smelled sandalwood, orange blossoms and linen.
"Edward, calm down," whispered Carlisle in my ear as he took me in his arms.
"You are here," I sobbed and grabbed a fistful of his shirt, pulling him closer to me.
I felt the bed dip as Carlisle climbed up and enveloped me in his arms. "Of course I'm here. I promised, remember?"
I nodded, and silence took over. I tried calming my breathing hearing Carlisle's heartbeat in his chest, letting it sooth me. I wanted to know what had happened after I passed out, and I knew that Carlisle had the answers, so I fought against sleep and tried to find my voice again. I took a few more breaths and let my body relax in Carlisle's arms, "what happened to… um…"
"Victoria took him to see their father. She wanted me to ask you if you want to press charges."
"I don't know… Wouldn't he go to jail?"
Carlisle sighed, "I think Victoria wants you press charges so that he can be put into state custody. She said that this way she would be able to force him into rehab and he'd serve his time there."
I thought about it for a minute and nodded, "Tell her to do what she thinks is best."
"Okay, I'll call her later," he murmured against my forehead before planting a sweet kiss there.
I closed my eyes at the feeling of his lips on my skin, "I still can't believe you stayed."
He chuckled, "I told you that I would be waiting for you…"
"Yeah, but I thought…" that you didn't want me, I finished in my head.
Carlisle must've felt my hesitation, and pulled back so he could look me in the eye. "What is it?" he asked, his hand running through my hair and pulling a few strands that had fallen back on my forehead. His eyes were a stormy blue, conveying the sadness inside of him.
"I thought you wanted to keep a distance from me," I whispered.
The corner of his mouth twitched a little, "I find it very difficult to stay away from you."
What is that supposed to mean?
"I'm sorry," I lamely answered, though I had no idea why or what I was apologizing for. I felt embarrassment coloring my face and looked away, trying to hide the hurt I was feeling by his admission.
"No, I didn't mean it like that. Look at me, Edward."
"What did you mean, then?" I asked, looking back at him.
He ran a hand through his hair before setting it on top of mine on his chest; he gave it a gentle squeeze and took a deep breath. "Ever since Tokyo, I haven't been able to get you out of my mind, Edward. When I saw you at the hotel next to Liz and Ted, I thought you were an actor working with Liz, or an intern working for Ted. But when Ted introduced you as his son, I knew I had to act like I didn't know you. Ted and Liz are more than just friends, they are like family, like siblings to me, and I didn't want to lose the only family I had left. I thought that perhaps I would be able to let go of these feelings that you had awoken inside of me. I really did try. I didn't want this," he motioned with his hands between us, "to get more complicated. I wanted it to be real, but I couldn't find it in myself to take the chance."
I was almost afraid to ask, but I couldn't let it go. "What changed?"
He took a deep breath and held me tighter, his hand lifted and his knuckles grazed my bruised cheek so softly I barely felt it, "I care so much about you, Edward. I feel very… protective of you. When I saw you on the floor bruised and tied down…," he let out a shuddering breath, "I will never forgive myself," tears ran down his beautiful and tormented face.
"It wasn't your fault." I couldn't understand where all this guilt was coming from.
"No, Edward. I should've been there…"
I shook my head and cupped his face with my free hand, "You didn't know-"
"I was avoiding you, Edward!" I froze, but before I could say anything he continued, "I was killing time until Victoria could also come into the house with me, so I didn't have to be alone with you."
I gasped at his revelation and felt hurt and betrayed by him. I immediately tried to move out of his arms, but Carlisle didn't let me and hugged me tighter without causing me pain. He sobbed, letting his head fall on my shoulder.
"I'm so sorry, Edward. He almost took everything from you. I should have been there, but I behaved like a selfish coward instead. I am so sorry." He cried and I felt his tears soak my hospital gown.
I was shocked and I really had no idea what to say to him.
My head was dizzy from the information overload. In the span of a week, I had felt so much more than in the last 18 years of my life. I had realized that I was in love with Carlisle. I had fallen in love with this man and it was the first time I had ever felt anything like this. I think I might have always been since our stolen kiss in Tokyo. But could I forgive him for what he had done?
He had acted selfishly and it had almost cost me everything. I understood Carlisle had some major flaws, nobody was perfect, and it was clear that he had been greatly hurt. Looking at him now and hearing him cry on my shoulder, it was obvious he was tormenting himself for what could have been. Was my love for him strong enough to never resent him for this? Was I willing to let myself get hurt all over again? He said he cared for me, but did he love me?
I was so confused.
What the hell am I supposed to do?
So, can Edward forgive him? How many of you think he should make Carlisle grovel for a little while? I seriously want your thoughts, people!
I promise this will be the last time Riley shows up, you might hear from him, but no real threat will come from him. I SWEAR. This chapter was really hard for me to write, it was really emotional for me. I was a complete mess while typing; I think I went through two boxes of Kleenex.
The last chapter originally ended when Riley ripped Edward's jeans off; hence Annie's almost heart attack. So send her a big fat THANK YOU for convincing me to not finish chapter 5 there and to write the whole thing in this chapter.
¡ ANNOUCEMENT !
I'll be donating to the Fandom Fights the Tsunami a Slash/One-shot featuring my favorite slash pair: Carlisle and Edward. The one-shot is titled "Against the Countdown". In this story, Edward has given up hope of ringing in the New Year in Carlisle's arms, while Carlisle is trying to make it home and into the arms of his fiancé as fast as he can. The problem? It can be really tricky trying to get out of the rainforest!
This o/s will have my first FULL SLASH LEMON!
I bet that caught your attention, eh?
I'm dedicating this o/s to my awesome pre-reader Annie who is now volunteering in Japan. She's one brave lady and I'm so fucking proud of her!
Check out the B-E-A-UTIFUL banner that TKegl made for me (btw, I'm totes squealed like a fangirl when she offered making it! LOL). The link is on my profile!
For more info in how to donate go to: Fandomfightstsunami(dot)blogspot(dot)com
Don't forget to check out the blog for teasers and pictures! (Link on my profile)
Now tell me what you think, even a smiley would be fine.
xoxo
Mina
