Chapter 6

"The others know," Coulson said a few days later when he and Ward were alone in the lounge.

He offered no further explanation but Ward nodded, understanding what he was telling him. "How'd it go?"

"Fury says they took it fairly well. They had some questions but he was able to satisfy them for now. They're taking a few days to process then will meet to come up with some strategy."

"Sounds reasonable. Have you made any decisions regarding the team?" Grant asked quietly.

"I'm just not sure. I think for now keeping it from FitzSimmons and Skye is definitely for the best, but maybe we should tell May. What do you think?"

"I don't really know sir. Maybe wait to hear more from the director and then you can make a decision?"

"We, Ward. We will make a decision. We are in this together now. And everything regarding it we will talk about before any decisions are made," Coulson responded, looking at Ward closely.

"Are you sure you want me involved in the decisions sir? Maybe it would be best if you all made the decisions. I will do whatever you ask me to and –"

"Fury and Hill both agree. And from what little Fury could say Barton, Romanoff and the Captain do too. The seven of us are all on equal terms in this. We're a team. Nobody makes any unilateral decisions about courses of action to take without consulting the rest of us," Coulson interrupted firmly. He waited to receive a nod from Ward before continuing. "But I think you might be right. We will wait until I hear back from Fury and then make a decision regarding May."

"Sounds good sir," Ward replied. He wanted to ask Coulson more about Fury and Hill's reactions to his story but just wasn't sure how to bring it up.

"Is there something else on your mind, Ward?" Coulson asked softly. The younger agent had his gaze trained on the wall across from them, but every so often his eyes would flick in Coulson's direction, and he thought he could see slight conflict in his eyes.

"Kind of sir. It's just, I don't understand Fury and Hill's reactions to everything we told them. Yours either really," Ward answered, finally looking his gaze on Coulson.

"What about it do you not understand, Grant?" Coulson questioned, still keeping his voice quiet.

"Why are none of you angry at me? Why are you all being so understanding?" Ward asked sadly. "I don't deserve it. I'm a grown man, I made my own choices and they were bad ones and you all are being so nice to me. Do you think they are just pretending so I will help? Because if they are they don't have to. I would help anyway, even if they were angry. But I don't think they are pretending, they seem genuine. I was thinking about it and looking back I think maybe they seem more genuine than Garrett ever did. But then maybe-"

"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay," Coulson interrupted Ward's ramble as he seemed to be getting more and more worked up as he went on. "I promise they aren't pretending Grant. None of us are. Nobody is angry at you, we are angry for you. Maybe you don't entirely see it yet, but what Garrett did to you, it was abuse Grant. And that is what we are angry about. He took a vulnerable young boy and manipulated him, conditioned him to do things he wouldn't have done otherwise. And when that young boy didn't do what he was told, he punished him. That isn't how things are supposed to work. And it will never be like that for you again. You may be a grown man, capable of making his own choices, but Garrett took the right to make your own choices away from you. So the things you did for Garrett, those are on him. And when you realised that maybe something wasn't right, you made the right choice. You came to me, and you wanted to be better. That counts for something Grant."

"But I hurt people. I killed people. For him."

"Did you always know?"

"Know what?"

"Know that it was for him," Coulson replied. Seeing the confusion on Ward's face he elaborated. "Did you always know it was for him and Hydra?"

Ward thought about it for a minute. "No. Not really. Usually it was on a SHIELD op, so I never really knew if it was coming from SHIELD or if it was just from him. But that doesn't excuse what I did. I –"

"I'm not saying it excuses the deaths, all I'm saying is that you trusted someone that you believed saved you from a horrible fate, and you didn't always know that you were doing it for him. He was your superior in SHIELD and you had to follow his orders on ops, because what if those orders were coming down the chain of command? You're a victim of your circumstance Ward. He abused you and you didn't know any better. You are not a bad man. I see that. And so do Fury and Hill. None of us are pretending. We are not angry at you. And we believe in you," Coulson finished firmly, wanting the younger agent to see that they were truly on his side and he was not going to be punished for things that John Garrett had done to him.

Ward was quiet for several minutes, processing all Coulson had said, before he nodded his head.

"Thank you, sir. For being honest with me. It means a lot, hearing those things from you. I promise, I'm going to try to be a man that you can be proud of from now on."

"I'm already proud of you Ward. For coming forward when you did. For seeing the truth, even though you trusted Garrett. For doing the right thing. For deciding that you didn't want to hurt this team."

"Thank you, sir. That means a lot. You're opinion is important to me," Ward said quietly, realising just how true that was. In a short time, what Coulson thought of him had come to matter to him more than what Garrett thought of him ever had. Because Coulson was a good man, who did the right thing. And that was the kind of man Grant Ward wanted to be.

"It's almost time for Skye's training so I'm going to go get ready and find her," Ward said, standing up and heading towards his bunk.

"Okay. And Ward," Coulson called as the specialist reached the door.

"Yes sir?"

"It's nice to see you spending more time outside your bunk," Coulson said with a small smile.

"Yes sir," Ward replied, returning his smile.

Yes, Coulson thought, the young specialist would be okay. They just had to keep offering him the support he had lacked his entire life. Showing him that the way he had been treated wasn't normal and he should never let himself be treated like that. And the influence of the younger team members would definitely be a help in that.