Chapter 7: Lust, Not Like


Clarke could see the nerves working overtime in Octavia, which was rather strange since very few things on this earth scared or even made the girl nervous. She didn't even get pre-game nerves, let alone getting clammy over a guy.

Clarke watched as she fidgeted with her outfit as the music boomed loud inside the club. Thanks to Octavia's nerves, the three showed up to The Drop Ship earlier than everyone else. Although, Raven did not seem to mind and was already off dancing with some she recognized from the Mech- Engineering program.

"You look great, I told you. Lincoln will be blown away." Clarke reassured.

"arrgh I'm sweating already. I'm freaking out. Like, its way bigger than hanging out in the library. Libraries aren't sexy." Octavia moaned.

"Want a drink? It'll help you settle down. I'll be back." Clarke replied and began wading through the crowd. With The Drop Ship being the best bar in Polis, it was understandably packed despite there being two separate floors and a patio with music ranging from top 100 pop to hip-hop reggae and RnB, or so she heard. In their 20 minutes, the group had opted to not explore until now as Clarke bumped her way to the bar and retrieved drinks.

We she returned, Bellamy, Lincoln, Monty, Finn and Jasper were standing around their table talking.

"Thanks, Clarke!" Octavia beamed.

"You beat me to it Griffin, seems you're more chivalrous than I." Lincoln smiled brightly at Octavia, earning a slap across the head from Bellamy with a knowing look. Their voices lowered and Clarke lost whatever words they had exchanged. She could probably guess the warning Bellamy gave.

"So Clarke, how are you for a dance?" Finn asked, invading her personal space. By the scent on his breath he had already been drinking.

"Simple, I don't." She replied turning to greet Jasper and Monty.

The group talked for a while when Clarke felt a playful shove on her shoulder, turning to find the Veterans.

Clarke immediately noticed Lexa and Luna's absence and inquired. "Upstairs, they're really not into the pop genre." Anya called, before spotting Lincoln and racing over, punching him in the shoulder. The two seemed close by their interactions; laughing loudly and playfully hitting each other. From an outsiders perspective they could be siblings.

Clarke leaned forward to Octavia, who did not seem to be enjoying being ignored by Lincoln. "Hey I'm going to go check out upstairs. Wanna come?" Octavia nodded and stood, sliding away from the table. On their way to the stairs, Octavia pulled at Raven who brought along the guy she had been dancing with.

Upstairs seemed like a completely different club. It felt about 10 degrees hotter, was darker and even louder than downstairs. Due to the amount of people dancing and pressed against one another, there was very little room to be moving about. The group stood taking in their surroundings, everyone seemingly as taken back as Clarke was.

Raven adapted first smiling as the song changed to a Drake song Clarke only vaguely knew. Raven grabbed at them to follow her to the dance floor, but Clarke hung back alone, hoping to spot Lexa in the crowd.

She strained to see the dance floor but wasn't able to find the captain or Luna in the crowd, instead she settled for laughing at her friends. Octavia and Raven didn't have any issues dancing to the song, immediately on beat and mouthing the words to the song, laughing at each other's exaggerated movements. Raven's guy-friend didn't fare so well, looking out of his element but doing his best to make Raven laugh. As Clarke watched for a few more minutes, she could start to see a flash of Lexa and Luna, in the middle of the dance floor behind Octavia, who spotted them at the same time and excitedly gave them a hug. Clarke's stomach flipped, immediately nervous and unsure of what to do.

I can't dance… why am I up here… Oh god, what am I doing. She said to herself, but her feet continued to carry her to the group.

As she approached, she saw Lexa say something into Raven's ear who replied by pointing at her as she walked towards them.

Was Lexa asking where I was?

As she got closer, her breath caught in her chest. Lexa looked…. Amazing. She had to force herself to tear her eyes away from her exposed abs, and immediately felt self-conscious with her own outfit. She looked to Luna first who smiled and gave her a hug. As she pulled away she could see Raven nod towards Lexa, widen her eyes and smirk. Clarke chose to toss a dirty look, knowing what the girl was insinuating.

The song changed and the girls all returned to dancing with each other, expect Raven who stayed close with the guy who introduced himself to Luna and Lexa as Wick. Only Lexa remained looking at her and leaned in close to speak "You managed to awaken from your nap, Princess. Glad you could make it." she breathed. Her breath on Clarke's ear sent a shiver up her spine and made her stomach explode with butterflies for the second time that night. The blonde also noted, Lexa smelled of whiskey.

"I take it you had that occasional bourbon on ice?" Clarke replied.

"Well, I had to calm the nerves." Lexa smiled.

"Why were you nervous?" Clarke asked, almost desperately hoping for the only answer that would further complicate things.

Lexa chose to ignore it, unsure of why she had made that admission in the first place. A group dancing then bumped the two knocking them back into the reality that they were the only ones not dancing in the middle of the floor. "Let's dance" Lexa stated.

Clarke shook her head no, not wanting to embarrass herself, but Lexa paid no mind and took Clarke's hand, pulling her closer to the group of friends. Lexa immediately turned to Clarke and smiled, slowly moving to the music. Luna turned to the two and excitedly danced with them, raping the lyrics along with the music. Clarke began to panic and just started moving her feet to the beat of the music and attempted to smile off the evident nerves. When she finally thought she had gotten the beat down, the song made a slow change into a significantly slower reggae song she didn't recognize, but noticed Lexa get excited along side Luna and Raven. Raven immediately began winding slowly into her new friend Wick, who looked just as lost as Clarke. Lexa noticed Clarkes discomfort and took her hands in hers, which did nothing but make Clarke's heart race faster.

Her hands moved from Clarke's to the blonde's hips, as Lexa moved behind her. Lexa pressed herself against Clarke and slowly guided her hips in time and direction with hers.

Holy fuck I'm going to pass out. Focus, just focus on the dancing. Clarke thought to herself and desperately tried to ignore the fact and Lexa was pressed against her. Clarke slowly got used to the beat and was able to dance a little better without Lexa's guidance, and became comfortable enough to copy some of the moves of the girls around her, rolling her hips and grinding her ass into Lexa. Clarke smiled as she felt Lexa stiffen her grip on her in surprise.


Anya, Lincoln Monty and Finn decided to go upstairs in search of the others. When they got there, Anya immediately spotted her teammates and Lincoln made a beeline for Octavia and the two effortlessly fell into beat together. Anya felt a tap on her arm and looked at finn with a questioning look. He pointed a few feet away from Octavia and saw Lexa and Clarke smiling and grinding to the song. They watched for a minute as Clarke turned to face Lexa and continued dancing, Lexa showing off her moves and grinning wildly at the smiling Clarke.

Anya set her jaw and begun to make her way to the two girls. I told Lexa, what is she doing? She thought angrily to herself. Before she got there, Clarke and Lexa started off in the opposite direction towards the rooftop patio. She had every intention of following them before she felt Lincoln grab her arm and shook his head "no". She knew what he was thinking; that she should leave it alone, and she would… for right now, but it would be a conversation she would be having with Lexa after.


Lexa led Clarke through the heavy door and into the cold outside air. The patio was significantly less crowded and quieter than inside, creating a stark and almost shocking contrast. Lexa navigated the patio and sat on a bar stool at the end of the bar, motioning for Clarke to take the seat next to her.

Clarke waited for Lexa to say something, but as a few seconds passed in silence Clarke decided to fill the growing awkward silence. "You really surprised me out there."

Lexa threw her head back and laughed, a motion that only occurred when she was truly laughing and not passively going through the motion. It was something Clarke had noted from subconscious observation since arriving at Polis. "Why was that surprising? You thought I'm just some stern, irritable captain that hates fun right?"

"I never said that. Although, I would be lying if I said I didn't think that at first." Clarke teased, earning a playful shove form Lexa.

"You don't dance often I noticed." Lexa stated, no real tone in her words.

Clarke stared back with a shocked expression. "Was I really that bad?"

Lexa back peddled. "No, you just didn't seem to comfortable with the music."

"Well not as comfortable as you… are you like some secret street dancer on the side? I thought you just dabbled." Clarke laughed.

"Ugh, no." Lexa shot back before getting serious "I just really like music, especially music with a lot of rhythm. I used to drum when I was younger, you know, right after the whole Knight phase."

"Well, see something else I didn't know about you. I'm finding out a lot today. I had never even heard that song before tonight."

"Turn Me On?" Lexa asked.

Clarkes eye went wide for a moment, "Pardon?"

"The song we danced to…. It's called 'Turn Me On'" Lexa grinned at Clarke's discomfort.

Clarke chucked, more at herself than anything and had to mentally regroup. Lexa was still looking at her, smirking with pure amusement in her intense green eyes. She wasn't sure if it was Lexa staring or the entire events of tonight thus far, but Clarke was sweating, and panicking. Goddamn, she looks good. I can at least admit she's hot, especially after that dance. But it doesn't mean I like her. That would be a stupid thing to do, Clarke. She's your straight captain, who only passively enjoys your company.

"What are you thinking, Clarke." Lexa asked.

Wow, she makes my name sound so good. "Nothing" Clarke lied. Okay focus.

"I'm just happy we've been able to become friends." Clarke said,

Why did I say that?

"Oh, we're not friends remember? I never agreed to that contract." Lexa teased.

Clarke cocked her head to one side and narrowed her eyes at the brunette. "Excuse me. You cannot dance like THAT with me and just not be my friend."

"It's just dancing Clarke, don't look too far into it… it comes contract free."

What the hell does that mean.

"Besides, I don't want to be your friend, Griffin" Lexa smirked again, but quickly let it fade and her eyes were drawn to something behind Clarke. The blonde turned to see Anya and Luna approaching the two. Anya was expressionless, maybe even irritated Clarke noted.

"Are you two going to join the team anytime?" Anya stated blandly staring down Lexa.

"When we're ready. We just needed some air." Lexa stated coldly.

Clarke noticed the entire atmosphere change with their tense conversation but couldn't understand the reasoning behind it.

"Yeah, we saw the dance, no wonder you guys needed to cool down," Luna laughed, clearly not in on the captain's tension.

Clarke was the only one to acknowledge what she had said by fake laughing and standing up, getting the silent queue she should maybe go. " I'm going to go find Octavia and Raven, see how they're doing."

"Oh, well when we left Octavia was yelling at Bellamy and Raven was already going home with that guy, Wick. Actually she told me to wink at you for her. Not sure why." Luna replied.

Clarke rolled her eyes, of course Raven did.

"Clarke…" Lexa started trying to stop Clarke from leaving.

"Wow, I should really go then, we've all seen Octavia's temper." She ignored Lexa's plea and opted to listen to Anya's glare and get out of the situation. Luna followed behind her, likely picking up on the tension.

Anya quickly took Clarke's seat. "What are you actually doing Lex, I warned you before we left. Like, it's actually been less than three hours."

" Anya, I am not doing anything. I'm not a child and I don't need your warnings." Lexa shot back, immediately irritated.

"Since when do you even act like this? You never even find anyone attractive now you're grinding up on our teammates! You always tell our rookies not to 'shit where you eat' and date the men's team and now a pretty blonde shows up and you turn into a hypocrite." Anya began yelling.

Lexa threw her hands up in frustration. "I'm not dating Clarke, I don't even have feelings for her! It was you who told me to lighten up and the minute I do you act like I'm already two fingers deep in her. I really don't get you, Anya."

"I told you not to be a bitch to them. I told you to be friends with them, but whatever you're doing with Clarke isn't just friendly. I can see it a mile away like I said earlier. You're friends with Raven and Octavia, and Luna and Echo, but you don't look at them with those damn heart eyes you give Clarke all the time. Trust me, I've noticed and I know you. This person right now, this isn't you. It's stupid and it's going to mess up our team and the season hasn't officially started. Get it together Lexa, I need a co-captain not a shooting guard with a 6th grade crush on a straight girl." Anya finished and breathed heavily. For a moment, she regretted the weight of her words, but decided to stand behind them.

There was a lot Lexa wanted to say, there was a lot she could rebuttal, but it wasn't worth it. Anya wouldn't hear it, even if the older girl knew Lexa wouldn't do anything to jeopardize the team's success. Sure, Clarke was very attractive, you'd have to be blind not to see it, but Lexa wasn't going further than that, not even in her own head. However, if others thought she was now being too friendly, it was an issue of favoritism and maybe she should listen to Anya to a certain degree; as much as she hated to admit it.


The rest of the evening went very strangely and Clarke couldn't help but to zone out and think of her many interactions with Lexa that day. Only two things for the rest of the night caught her attention; the first being the Blake sibling war that occurred. Clarke only arrived half way through but got the jist of it. Apparently, Bellamy warned Lincoln to stay away from Octavia, and got really upset watching them dance together, which only caused for Octavia to discover their agreement and angrily yell at her older brother outside of the club. With that blowout, most people decided it was time to go home.

The second thing that pulled Clarke from her thoughts was Lexa herself. Who left the club with Anya in tow, passing by them and looking but opting to say nothing to Clarke, not even a goodbye. Clarke didn't want to admit it but it bothered her to no end. Now, as Clarke lay in her bed, replaying the events for the 30th time, she grew more irritated in the sudden attitude change.

Clarke heard footsteps crossing the living room that separated the girl's rooms from each other, and instinctively scooted to the left side of the bed, and taking a pillow from underneath her head and placing it on the right side. Without a knock, Octavia came into the room and fell into Clarke's bed, taking the extra pillow in her arms and sighing. For only knowing each other for a year, Clarke caught on to Octavia's tendencies quick. This was the result of Octavia either being too drunk, too sad, or too angry; tonight was a mixture of the three.

Clarke knew she wouldn't have to initiate conversation.

"Bellamy is such a fucking dick." Octavia whined.

Clarke tried her best not to laugh. "He loves you, O."

"If he's going to act like a prick, I don't want to be loved by him" this caused Clarke to snort. Another thing she had realized was that the Blake's disagreed often, but always repaired their issues relatively quick without the need of outside intervention. So now it was comical to see Octavia so whiny over a situation that the blonde was sure, would be cleared up within a day.

They lay in silence for a while as they often did before falling asleep. Octavia rarely needed any advice, just an ear when she was mad. But tonight, Clarke had a lot on her mind as well and opted to not roll over and sleep yet.

"Hey, O." she said out to the silence, hoping her friend was still awake.

"mmm" Octavia tiredly responded.

Clarke chose her words carefully; nervous with how her friend was going to respond. "I'm going to admit something and you can't freak out okay."

"Your little show with Lexa tonight made you wet and you want me to go back to my own room?" Octavia chuckled, clearly joking to irritate the blonde. What she didn't know was that she wasn't far off from the truth.

"Okay, can we be serious for a second?" Clarke breathed.

Clarke's worried tone made Octavia roll over and prop herself up on an elbow, looking directly at Clarke. "Okay, you like Lexa?"

The blonde was momentarily stunned with the educated guess but still corrected the brunette.

"Like is a strong word…" Clarke thought for a second, "but not like….lust. I think is appropriate word."

Octavia's eyes grew wide with surprise. While she had thought it was a small possibility, she also didn't think it would ever come to light.

Octavia slumped down on the pillows, using one to cover her face. "Oh God, Raven was right."