Disclaimer: I don't own Sonic and related characters or Xbox. They belong to their respective owners.
The Fanny Pack
It was a warm, sunny day. The sky was bright blues, the birds sang and a slight breeze rustled the leaves. Overhead the sun shone down, not a cloud to obscure it. Yes, it was a warm sunny day, but who really cares about what the weather was like?
Anyway, it had been a very lazy day for Sonic and co. Most of our heroes spent the day relaxing. Shadow the Hedgehog, in particular, was having an extremely pleasant day.
The Ultimate Lifeform sat on the lowest branch of an elderly oak tree in the park lightly dozing. He had been there for most of the day, listening to the calming sounds of nature mixed with the bustle of city life.
"Hey pal, watch where you're going!"
"Taxi! Taxi! Hello? TAXI!"
"Help! That man took my purse!"
See? Very relaxing.
Eggman hadn't attacked in a while, and GUN hadn't sent the hedgehog on any missions, so Shadow had a lot of spare time. The best part of all though, was that the moron Sonic the hedgehog wasn't there to bother him.
Oh no. I totally just jinxed that.
"SHADOW? SHADOW?"
Shadow's eyes shot open as a voice startled him, causing him to topple out of the tree. Shadow landed on his face right at the feet of an all too familiar blue hedgehog.
"There you are!" Sonic grinned as Shadow picked himself up off the ground spitting out dirt and grass.
"What do you want?" Shadow asked. Sonic's grin widened. This better not be another stupid thing like The Game. Shadow thought. Oh shoot, now I just lost the game.
"I just had an epiphany!" Sonic stated proudly. Shadow sighed.
"Realizing t-shirts are named due to their shape is not an epiphany, it's just stupid."
"No, it wasn't that!" Sonic said. "But now that you mention it, I guess it would make sense to call them t-shirts, since they are shaped like the letter T." Sonic shook his head. "But no, I thought of something even better. Something that will change lives and revolutionize carrying items everywhere!"
"Just get to the point."
"The Fanny Pack." Sonic said, swooping his hands in an outward direction.
"That's already been invented." Shadow growled, annoyed that his time was being wasted.
"Yes, but not a fanny pack that can be carried at the speed of sound without being torn to shreds." Sonic gazed dramatically into the distance. "Just think about it. A fanny pack this amazing could make our lives way easier. How many times have we've been running while holding a chaos emerald, only to drop it or having the bad guy grab right out of our hands?"
Shadow looked to where Sonic was staring. Failing to see whatever it was that had captured Sonic's attention, Shadow turned back to the awestruck hedgehog. "I honestly don't think we've ever dropped a chaos emerald."
"Well, there were the multiple times while fighting the Metarex, once up on ARK, twice when battling Chaos, that one time when Chris Thorndyke duped you and Eggman and stole two emeralds right from under your noses.." Sonic counted them off on his fingers.
"Point taken. So why did you have to tell me?" Shadow asked.
"Well duh! I need a business partner. Someone to help me create the 'Ultimate Fanny Pack'!" Sonic nudged Shadow. "So, are you going to help?"
"No."
"Please?"
"No."
"Pretty please?"
"No."
"Pretty please with a chili dog on top?"
"Absolutely not."
"Aw, c'mon. I'll be your best friend!"
"Heck no!"
Sonic took a deep breath. "PPPPPPPPPPLLLLLLLLLLLLLLEEEE EEEEEEAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSE EEEEEEEEEE?"
"If I agree, will you shut up?"
"Yes."
Shadow groaned. "Fine, I'll help you."
Sonic pumped his fist in the air. "Alright!"
VvVvVvV
"Agh! I can't take this anymore! My brain's about to explode!"
"Sonic, we only started thirty seconds ago."
Sonic the Hedgehog rubbed his temples. After Shadow finally agreed to help Sonic with his fanny pack idea, the two hedgehogs had set off for Tails' workshop. Once there, they explained to Tails their plan and the fox lent them an area of his workshop to use as well as any tools they might need. Now Sonic and Shadow found themselves seated at a table in the corner of the room staring at a blank piece of paper. Shadow had already begun to regret agreeing to working with his blue doppelganger.
"Is it possible to burst a vein in your brain just by thinking? 'Cause I think I have." Sonic asked.
Shadow sighed. "Can we just hurry up and design this thing?"
Sonic nodded and grabbed a pencil. "Alright. Let's get started!"
The two hedgehogs stared at the blank piece of paper. And they stared. And they stared a bit more. And a little more. They just kept staring at the paper. Then they went out for lattes. Nah, I'm just kidding. They actually continued to stare at the paper.
Sonic rubbed the grey beard he had grown. He snapped his fingers. "I've got it!"
Sonic ripped the fake beard off of his chin and began scribbling furiously on the paper. When he was done, Shadow looked at what Sonic had made.
On the paper Sonic had written, "Tails can design it for us!"
"You couldn't have thought of that hours ago!?"
Sonic shrugged sheepishly while Shadow gave him a death glare.
Shadow took a deep breath to calm himself. "Let's just find Tails and get him to make this thing."
Sonic nodded and the two hedgehogs left their work area in search of Tails. They eventually found him in another section of his workshop making alterations to the X Tornado.
"Hey Tails! You think you could help us?" Sonic asked the young fox.
"Sure Sonic. What do you need help with?"
"Shadow and I are a little stumped on the whole fanny pack project so we were wondering if you could get us started." Sonic told his younger bro.
Tails sighed. "And by that you mean, can I make the fanny pack for you guys?"
Sonic gave Tails a thumbs up. "Exactly! You know me so well! So will you do it?"
"Yes, I suppose I could." Tails set down the tools he had been using and headed over to Sonic and Shadow's workspace.
Tails began to sketch something on a blank sheet of paper. The two hedgehogs watched him for a while, but soon got bored and headed into Tails' house to play Xbox. A few hours later, Tails called Sonic and Shadow back into the workshop.
"Well? Do you like it?" Tails asked, handing two identical fanny packs to Sonic and Shadow.
Shadow examined the fanny pack. The pouch was bright red with a yellow zipper. The strap to go around your waist was white and had a yellow buckle on the side. On the front of the pouch was a picture of Sonic's head, grinning his trademark grin. "Do you want an honest opinion?"
"It's...it's..." a small tear sprung to Sonic's eye. "It's...BEAUTIFUL!"
"You've got to be kidding me." Shadow said under his breath.
Sonic was ecstatic. "It's perfect Tails! It's so could, we could sell them! We could make a whole business surrounding these!"
Sonic turned to Shadow. "What d'ya say, Shadow? Want to get into the fanny pack business with me."
"No. The last thing I want is to sell these...these...things with you." With that, Shadow exited the workshop.
Sonic shrugged. "Oh well. His loss." Sonic turned to Tails. "Do you want to join me?"
The young fox only sighed.
VvVvVvV
"Shh! It's starting!"
All the Sonic characters sat around the TV in Tails' house. Sonic had forced them to come over so they could watch the commercial for the new fanny packs he and Tails had made (well, it was only Tails who made them, but the fox didn't want to knock his older bro off his high horse.). Soon the commercial had started. Shadow groaned. "Oh boy."
Spokesman: How many times have you been running at the speed of sound carrying a very valuable item, only to drop it or have it taken out of your hands?
(Camera shows a group of random kids.)
Random Kids: Uhh, never.
Spokesman: Well you need the all new Super Sonic Fanny Pack! (A picture of the fanny pack appears on the screen.) Made of a super strong material, this fanny pack is able to withstand speeds exceeding the speed of sound! Not only that, this fanny pack is also highly fashionable!
(The screen changes to show a very fashionable teenage girl.)
Fashionable Teen: Ugh, that thing is so totally ugly. It's like, fashion suicide.
Spokesman: Critics rave, "The Super Sonic Fanny Pack greatly revolutionizes carrying things! A must have!"
Critics: We never said that. You just made it up.
Spokesman: Call now to receive your Super Sonic Fanny Pack for only four easy payments of *mumbles* $99.99. *back to normal voice pitch* But wait! Call now and we'll double the offer! You'll get two Super Sonic Fanny Packs for the price of one! Just pay separate shipping and handling. (A phone number appears on the bottom of the screen.) Just call 1-800-fany-pack to receive your Super Sonic Fanny Pack. Go on, call today!
The commercial ended. Everyone stared at the blank screen. "So, what did you guys think?" Sonic prompted the group.
"That was just...awful...My eyes..." Shadow rubbed his eyes in an attempt to un-see the commercial. "Can someone please throw me out of ARK so I can crash into the planet and get amnesia again?"
Silver nodded. "I have to agree with Shadow. Except for the whole 'crashing into the planet' thing."
Everyone else in the room nodded their agreement.
Sonic's bottom lip trembled. "But...but...I worked so hard on it."
Knuckles placed a hand on Sonic's shoulder. "Face it Sonic, no one is going to buy one of those Granny Sacks."
"It's called a Fanny Pack."
"Whatever. Point is, no one will want to buy one."
Sonic stared off into the middle distance again and whispered very dramatically, "People will buy my fanny packs, I just know it." He clenched his fist determinedly. "I'll show you. I'll show you all. Fanny packs are not useless. They will be bought!"
Sonic began to laugh evilly but the laugh was cut short by a bought of coughing. Everyone backed slowly away from the blue hedgehog, having finally realized that their friend may have finally lost his marbles.
Sonic: I have not lost my marbles! They're right here! (holds up bag filled with marbles.)
Me: (face palms) Not what I meant.
Sorry about taking so long to update. This past week I was at a hockey camp which didn't leave me much time for writing. At this camp though, I realized two things: 1) I missed hockey a lot! 2) Shadow really needs to work on his skating stride. No wonder he isn't faster than Sonic! (Shadow fangirls, please don't kill me for saying this, but it's true.) Also, I will be disappearing again August 9-17 and possibly beyond due to more hockey related activities.
The poll actually ended in a tie between action and horror, with humor in second and family/friendship in third. Since it's a tie, here's what I'm going to do; I will write both a horror and action story for you guys! The first story will be an action one because it's all ready to go (I should have the first chapter up sometime this week.). I have a few details to work out in the horror though, so that wont be up in a while. (Zombies or demons? I can't decide.)
I will try and update this story again soon to make up for the long wait. I have another short thing ready to go. It should hopefully be funny.
Speaking of funny, I watched this random video on Youtube today that was pretty funny. It was "Summer of Sonic 2012: Shadow the Hedgehog in Brief". Great stuff.
On a somewhat related note, who went to Sonic Boom this year? I wish I could've. And also, who's heard Crush 40's new EP, "Rise Again'? I love it, especially the song "Sonic Youth". Truly some incredible stuff.
I'm done rambling now. Please leave a review!
