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Chapter 7

It was better that way. She was better off without him. His soul and heart was coal black. Blackened by years and years of seeking revenge on the one man who took his love away. He'd only loved once before in his life and loving him had cost Milah her life. He would not take the chance that it could happen again. Not with Emma.

His hand clenched into a fist beside his body as he stared out on the ocean. He loved her. Maybe he'd already begun to fall for her when they'd climbed that beanstalk, her fierceness, her clear reluctance to let anyone close impressing him, making him want to tear her walls down and look at what she was hiding behind them.

But what could he give her? He was a pirate. A over three hundred year old man who'd lost his way a long time ago. She deserved better. She deserved a man who wasn't burdened with as many scars as he was.

But he couldn't leave her without seeing her one more time, so he'd slipped into her room, watching her sleep for quite some time, his heart and brain fighting a war inside him while he stared down at her. He didn't know how long he'd stayed standing beside her bed, unmoving, before he leaned down and brushed his lips over her cheek, murmuring the words against her skin.

I love you, Emma. I love you.

And he had left the hospital in the morning without saying goodbye, without seeing her one more time. He hadn't been sure he could leave her, that he could explain to her the reasons why he had to go. But he had to go. For her own good.

Then why was he still here? He should be miles away already. But something was holding him back. His heart was still with her and he couldn't leave. Not just yet.

He felt her before he even heard her and his heart thudded hard against his ribcage as he turned around slowly, meeting her gaze. She came and just then he realized that he had actually waited for her. He had hoped she would come to see him. He had hoped she would come to stop him.

She had lost considerable weight in the other realm and now she looked like the wind could blow her over. Everything in him urged him to walk over to her and just pull her into his arms and never let her go again but he stayed rooted to the spot.

"Did I dream it?" He almost couldn't hear her whispered words and for a second he contemplated denying to know what she was asking about but then he locked eyes with her again and couldn't.

"No, you didn't dream it." He replied softly.

"Then why did you leave without a word?" He could hear the accusation in her voice and he straightened, steeling himself for the confrontation he never wanted to have in the first place.

"Because you are better off without me, love."

"Says who?" Emma snapped, folding her arms over her chest. "Isn't it my decision what I want or don't want?"

"Believe me, darling. You don't want to go down that road."

"Why are you wearing a white shirt?" Her question threw him since she had completely changed the subject and he tilted his head, narrowing his eyes as he tried to understand where she was going with the question.

"It was the first I grabbed."

"I don't believe you. You've always worn black." She said calmly and stepping closer, she unfolded her arms and lifted her hand, her fingers brushing along the rim of his shirt, her voice turning low as she continued. "You don't need it."

"What do you mean?"

"You don't have a black soul, Killian. Stop thinking so low of yourself."

He sucked in a surprised breath, stepping back, putting much needed space between them. Why was he even surprised? She was always able to read him as well as he could read her. But he didn't even question his decision when he reached for the white shirt, he didn't put any deeper meaning into it. But she was right. Subconsciously he'd put it on in contrast to the blackness inside of him.

"You are a coward, Killian Jones." Her angry voice yanked him out of his thoughts and he turned around to her, baffled by the venom in her voice. "You are running away. You are running away from this."

"I'm not a coward!" He hissed through clenched teeth.

"Do you know why this works? Do you know why we have this unique connection?" Emma almost shouted, slamming her hand against his chest, blue sparks shooting out of her hand, his skin replying immediately with golden sparks. "Because we knew each other before we even met. Souls that are entwined for eternity. We were always meant to find each other. To become whole again. You and I ... we belong together."

She gulped hard, suddenly not able to say more, the words being stuck in her throat. She didn't want to beg and hating herself for even considering to beg. But her heart constricted painfully in her chest as she saw the conflicting emotions that flickered over his eyes and her voice was almost breaking as she whispered. "Stay!"

For a few moments he didn't move, his chest heaving under her fingers, but then suddenly the expression in his eyes changed and before she could decipher what it meant his lips crashed down on hers, their auras sparking to life and mixing together. Her skin was burning, her whole body was set on fire. Everything was glowing around them, their auras pulsating in a whirlwind of blue and gold as he took her mouth hungrily, pressing his body into hers, his hands roaming over her body and suddenly she froze, leaning back and grabbing his left arm.

Hands. She had felt hands. Plural. Both of them.

The hook was gone, the contraption was lying on the ground and he clearly hadn't realized any of it, too consumed by the heat and passion running through his body as he leaned down and captured her lips in another searing kiss.

"Killian?" Emma whispered hoarsely, pushing him away, her eyes flitting back to his left wrist. "Your hand!"

He stared at her confused before he followed her gaze and let out a surprised yelp as his eyes fell on the glowing light at the end of his left arm. He had a hand. A hand he could actually use and flexing his fingers he stared in complete awe at his shimmering hand and then he locked eyes with her, reaching up with both his hands, tears shooting into her eyes as he smiled down at her and cupped her face, his shimmering hand feeling as real as his other one.

She didn't know how it was possible but she didn't even question it anymore. She'd accepted that whatever connected them was stronger and more powerful than everything she'd seen before.

Grabbing her hand, he pulled her towards his cabin, closing the door firmly behind her and not even stopping for a second before he started to undress her. As they were finally both naked he pulled her into his arms and lifted her up, carrying her to the bed and lowering her down on it slowly before he joined her.

Settling between her legs, he locked eyes with her, the glowing light of blue and gold surrounding them making the situation feel slightly surreal but the moment he entered her the energy of her magic swept over their bodies, everything sizzled, her whole body vibrated and then she could hear him. Hear him in her mind.

Let me in, love!

And she did. She had never believed in the whole becoming one but what happened with Killian and her right now couldn't be described in any other way. She couldn't feel the borders of her body anymore. She was one with him. The breath whooshed out of her as she actually felt him slipping into her. His conscience settling beside hers, his mind wrapping itself around hers and the last remnants of her walls crumbled down as she opened herself up for him completely.

She could swear that time slowed down, everything moving in slow motion as he made love to her and their connection was almost too much to bear, the sensations nearly overwhelming and then she exploded, the fire consuming her, racing through her body and she could feel him everywhere inside her, could feel the emotions that were rushing through him and she opened her eyes, staring up at him, the blue and golden swirls around his body making him look like some Greek God and then everything around her exploded into a blue-golden ball of light, lifting her up and throwing her over the edge, his name dying on her lips as she was sucked into the maelstrom, her mind going blank as all she was left with was a feeling of pure perfection.

~K&E~

His cabin looked like a battlefield. They'd apparently knocked quite some things to the ground and she couldn't even remember knocking down anything. All she could remember was his presence in her, surrounding her, his aura, his mind, his body being one with hers. Turning around, she wrapped her arm around his waist, laying her head on his chest and inhaling a deep breath, she closed her eyes for a second, knowing that she couldn't postpone it any longer. She needed to know his answer. Now.

"Are you still going?" Emma whispered, not able to look him in the eyes. She would let him go. She would not beg if he wanted to go. If he would abandon her like everyone else in her life she would not stand in his way. The seconds ticked by without him giving her an answer and her heart dropped into her stomach.

He would leave her.

"No. I'm not going anywhere." He replied softly, his lips brushing over her forehead, his arm tightening around her. "I'm staying."

Releasing a shuddering breath, she relaxed in relief, pressing her eyes shut to keep the tears from falling and she snuggled deeper into his embrace. She felt him relax under her, his breath evening out and she flattened her hand over his chest, feeling his heart beat under her fingers and convinced that he wouldn't hear her she whispered.

"I love you, Killian Jones."

He opened his eyes, careful to keep his breaths even. He didn't want her to realize that he was still awake. Up until this moment he hadn't known how much he needed her to say it back. But he also knew that she was not ready to say it to his face. But it didn't matter. He had heard her. That was enough for now.