SPOILER ALERT! In this chapter part of the plot of the first year of the Nanoha anime is discussed. If any readers are not familiar with that story and think that they might want to watch it some day, it would be best that they not read this chapter.
Chapter 7
A Long Life's Journey into Night
It was a week later, again on Tuesday evening. Again the business was slow at the Café Mew Mew. There were no more customers than had been there the week before, and this time Ichigo was not alone. Lettuce, Pudding, and Ringo were all working as well, and Zakuro had promised that she would come in a bit later. It had been several weeks since Zakuro had worked at all, and Ichigo had actually begun to miss her presence. But she would be there that evening.
Ichigo had just bused a load of dirty dishes to the kitchen. There had been one large family there, a party of six celebrating a kid's birthday. Now they were gone, and Ichigo had just finished cleaning up after them. Pudding would wipe the table, and on such a slow night, Ichigo could take a break. She thought to sit at a table as Mint would do, and sip a little tea. But before sitting, she took one last look around.
And as it had the week before, her breathing stopped. There was a new customer in the Café, one she had not noticed before. There, sitting at that same little table against the wall up near the cash register, was a girl, a girl with long, blonde hair. Ichigo could not see the girl's face; her back was toward Ichigo. And she was alone; the week before, there had been two of them. But Ichigo was sure: it was that same girl, the fiend from that infernal Bureau, the one that had tried to kill her. And she was back!
Ichigo took a quick look around. Pudding was busy cleaning the table where the family had eaten, but Ringo was advancing toward the blonde girl. And so Ichigo could breathe again, because if Ringo waited on the girl, Ichigo would not have to. She would not have to risk being recognized and attacked. So she quietly sat at a table in the back, where she could keep her eyes on the enemy blonde. There she sat, and watched, and wondered if the auburn-haired girl, or some other Bureau killer, was around somewhere.
But no other enemy made her appearance. Ringo talked to the blonde for a short time, and then headed back toward the kitchen. More chocolate, Ichigo thought. Maybe the girl simply wanted more chocolate. Maybe it was just another coincidence. Maybe they still hadn't recognized Ichigo, or found out any of the other Mew Mews. Maybe all they had to do was to feed the girl's chocolate habit. Ichigo fervently hoped that it was just a matter of more chocolate as she watched Ringo head for the kitchen with the blonde's order.
Then her heart caught in her throat. Ringo wasn't heading for the kitchen. She was approaching Ichigo's table! And her eyes were fixed on Ichigo. She certainly had something to say about the blonde – about the blonde and Ichigo. And Ichigo was sure: that evil Bureau had found her out.
And Ringo wasn't smiling. Ringo was shy, but she always smiled for Ichigo. She had hero-worshipped Ichigo ever since she had joined the Mew Mews, and that hero-worship had never changed. Even when the others had abandoned Ichigo and transferred their allegiance to Berry as the leader of the Mew Mews, Ringo still stood by Ichigo and honored her far above all the others. So she always smiled for Ichigo; but she was not smiling now. Her huge, brown eyes were filled with worry. And so Ichigo was sure: Ringo would bring bad news – the news that Ichigo would now die.
Ichigo's heart seemed caught in her throat. She was trying to look calm but she knew she wasn't succeeding. And now Ringo came before her, and stopped. Ichigo knew she should rise from her chair, but she was frozen.
"Ichigo… san?" the younger Mew began tentatively. She seemed so worried that there were tears in her eyes.
"Ringo-chan?" Ichigo responded, still trying to look calm, but hardly able to speak the words.
"Ichigo, that girl up there, the blonde one…" Ringo's voice faded away.
"What is it?" Ichigo demanded, much too loudly.
Ringo was taken aback. Ichigo had never raised her voice to her before, and so she was frightened. With tears in her eyes, she began to turn away.
And Ichigo saw that. And something inside her heart spasmed, hard. She could not bear to hurt Ringo. She had been cruel to Pudding when she had first met her, lying to her, running away from her, and considering her a pest; and she still felt guilt over that. And hurting Ringo's feelings would be far, far worse. So she spoke, in a lowered voice, "Ringo-chan… What's wrong? You're almost in tears."
And the small, brown-haired girl turned back to Ichigo, and she muttered, "I'm sorry, I didn't want to be a pest…"
Another hurt seized Ichigo's heart. "Ringo, you're not a pest, you never have been. Just tell me what's wrong – or don't you like me any more?"
It was not a fair question, and Ichigo knew it; but she guessed that it would get Ringo to talk to her. And she was right. "Ichigo-san, it's… it's that blonde girl. She's sitting alone and crying, and it looks like she's so sad that she wants to die. I just thought that… that you could talk to her, because you always say the right things…" Her voice died, but her eyes pleaded.
Ringo's hero-worship of her was blind, and Ichigo knew that too well. And Ichigo knew only too well that she did not always say the right things. But she would not say "no" to Ringo. She craved the girl's hero-worship far too much. And so she said, "It's OK, Ringo-chan. I'll go see if I can find out what's wrong." She thought for a second that Ringo would actually be the better one to try to find out what disturbed the blonde enemy, because Ringo had such a kind heart. But she would not disappoint Ringo.
The smaller girl nodded, and Ichigo rose from her chair and began advancing up the room, slowly. A quick glance over her shoulder revealed that Ringo was watching her. And she would not disappoint Ringo. So she kept walking, though it was hard, so hard.
She wondered as she walked. What was bothering that blonde girl? It was probably something to do with the other girl, the one that was not there that evening. They had seemed so much like lovers; maybe they had a fight. Ichigo didn't know much about the yuri thing but she was sure that they could have fights like any other couple, break up like any other couple. Maybe she had lost her lover. Or maybe, Ichigo thought, the girl was hurt – or even dead. After all, she was a magical girl that got into fights. Maybe she had been killed while trying to suppress some magic-user that would not submit to that infernal Bureau. But that would be too much to hope for, Ichigo thought.
And then she was there, standing next to the small table. She could avoid it no longer. The blonde girl had leaned her head forward and had buried her face in her arms on the table. Ichigo wanted to walk away. But Ringo was watching.
"Miss? Can I get you something?" Ichigo's words seemed not go unnoticed, so she said, again: "Miss?"
And slowly the girl's face looked up. Her huge, red-violet eyes were wet with tears and filled with a universe and an eternity of pain and loss. Ichigo had never before seen such a hopeless look in anyone's eyes. But the girl said nothing.
"Miss, I know it's not my business, but… is something wrong? You seem to be in pain. Are you ill?" Ichigo's words were quiet, almost caring.
And finally the girl spoke. "No… I…"
And that was all. But Ichigo spoke again. "You were here… last week, weren't you?"
The girl nodded slightly, but said nothing; so Ichigo continued, "Your friend. Where is she?" Deep in some nasty recess of her heart, Ichigo was hoping that she would now hear of the other girl's demise.
But the blonde girl just said, weakly: "My… friend?"
And Ichigo continued, "Yes. The chocolate lover. I remember you two were eating everything chocolate." But the girl did not answer.
Ichigo knew that she should say no more. She was far, far over the line to say more, especially for a Japanese. But the cat in Ichigo could not be herded or controlled, not even by cultural convention, and so she asked, "Your girlfriend, I think. Is the problem with her?"
"My… girlfriend? You could tell?" the blonde said.
And Ichigo responded, "Look, I've been in love. I know what it looks like." Again the girl said nothing, so Ichigo went on, "Is she the problem? Did you two have a fight? Or is she sick or hurt…?" Ichigo wanted to add "or dead," but she knew that question would hurt the girl too much.
"No… she's OK. Just far away…" the girl answered. And then she said, very slowly, "Na-no-ha. That's her name. She's so wonderful…" Again the girl's voice died.
"Na-no-ha." Ichigo repeated the name. "And you miss her…?"
"Yes, I miss her," the girl said. "But there's a lot more than that…"
The girl's voice died, and Ichigo hesitated to say more. Clearly, the girl's last words were an invitation to say more. But should she? Ichigo did not know. Prudence dictated that she leave. She had an answer for Ringo: the girl was missing her friend; and she had an excuse: she had work to do. But Ichigo had never been a prudent one, and had become much less so due to her feline side. So without further words she pulled the chair from the other side of the table and placed it close to the blonde girl, with its back facing her. Then she sat, straddling the chair, with her arms crossed on the top of the seat back; and she rested her chin on her hands. She looked into the blonde girl's red-violet eyes, and half whispered, "Well, what is it?"
The girl looked dubious. "I don't even know who you are," she muttered. "I don't know if I should…"
"Me? I'm Momomiya Ichigo," the red-haired girl responded. That she should never have revealed her name to this girl did not at that time occur to her.
The blonde girl looked at her strangely. Ichigo was a common name in Japan, but Ichigo had revealed her given name to her enemy when they had fought. Still, the girl did not recognize Ichigo when she was not transformed. Finally she said, "I'm Fate-o… Testarossa."
Ichigo had seen the video of her fight often enough and knew that that was not the name the girl had used before. Yet she continued, "And, ah… Fate-o… what's going on?"
Fate stared at Ichigo with empty eyes. "You'd never believe… never…"
Ichigo shrugged. "Maybe not. But why not try, anyway?"
The girl stared again, and then shook her head. She looked down at her hands. "Well, to start with, I'm not even human."
"You look human," Ichigo said.
"But I'm not," Fate responded. "I'm not even from Earth."
Ichigo shook her head. This did sound ridiculous. Yet the girl's pain seemed real. And Ichigo already knew she was not normal. She was magical, and powerfully so. So she asked, "Where are you from, then? The moon? Mars?"
But Fate shook her head in return. "Mid-Childa," she said. "It's… not from this solar system. You've probably never heard of it."
"I haven't," Ichigo said. "How did you get here? A space ship?"
The other girl nodded. "Yeah. That's the only way, I think." She was silent for a few seconds. "I knew you wouldn't believe me…" Then the tears began again as she went on. "And… and… I was never born. I never had a real mother…"
Ichigo was mystified. She was wondering if this girl was truly insane. "But how…" she questioned.
"I knew you wouldn't believe me," Fate said. "I… was cloned. Cloned from my dead sister. My mother… her name was Precia. She was a witch, a horribly-powerful magic user. She was evil, very… She was doing some illegal magic experiments, and something exploded, and… " Her voice faltered and choked up for a few seconds before she went on. "Precia. She loved herself, she loved power. And she loved only one other… her daughter, Alicia. A beautiful little blonde girl, maybe 6 or 8 years old. And when that experiment exploded, Alicia was… killed. And my mother… Precia… she went off the deep end, as they say. She became convinced that she could resurrect Alicia by magical means, even though everyone says you can't do that, if she only could get to Al-Hazard… That's the place where all magic originated… they say. But others say it's all a myth, that there never was…" She took a deep breath. "She preserved Alicia's body in a giant test tube, and cloned me from her, and magically gave me her memories. She made me as a tool, just to gather for her powerful magical items, so she could get Alicia's body to Al-Hazard. But she despised me, hated me, and I could never do well enough for her. Everything I did was a failure, I was worthless. She would hang me up by my hands and whip me with a magical bullwhip to punish me for my failures. And yet I had those memories of how she used to love me… but those memories were Alicia's…"
The words kept pouring out, while Ichigo simply stared and shook her head. Yet it seemed clear: this girl believed what she was saying.
Bitter tears now poured down Fate's cheeks. "Don't you see? You grew in a mother's womb and were raised by a mother that loved you – maybe even a Dad! I was grown in a test tube, and I was hated for being so worthless all my life!" She began gasping and was unable to go farther.
Ichigo in a way was happy that the chair back was between them, for a great surge of pity welled up within her, and without that chair back separating them, she might have embraced and held the sobbing girl. She had to remind herself strongly that it was not long before that this poor girl had so coldly tried to kill her.
And Ichigo knew the story was not done. So she asked, "And how did you get from there – ah, Mid-Childa… to here?"
The blonde girl stared into Ichigo's eyes for several seconds, trying, perhaps, to judge her sincerity. Then she spoke again, in the same low, pained voice. "There are these ancient magical items called Lost Logia that are incredibly powerful. They say that they come from Al-Hazard, but no one really knows. They turn up once in a while and are always really destructive. Well… a collection of twenty-one of these, called the Jewel Seeds, ended up on your planet by accident. My mother discovered this, and sent me to get them, thinking that they would give her the power to reach Al-Hazard. I was just a kid then, the equivalent of about nine years old. And I found that there was another magical girl here, a kid about my own age, that was collecting them… Nanoha. At first I just swatted her out of the way like you'd swat a fly – she was new at magic, and I was experienced and had been made as a magical weapon. But she eventually forced me into a duel for all the Jewel Seeds. And she crushed me! As always, I was worthless!" Once again her voice was lost in quiet sobs.
"I thought this Nanoha was your friend," Ichigo said quietly.
"After she beat me… she saved me. Or I would have died!" Fate muttered. "By then she was working with this outfit called the Time-Space Administration Bureau. They rule a lot of planets and try to control magic use… Well, my mother had no more use for me, because I was defeated. She took whatever Jewel Seeds she could, and left me to die. But the Bureau took me in. Nanoha led this big attack against Mother's fortress in space, and they destroyed it, along with all of Mother's battle robots. I went in also, to try to help Nanoha, and save my mother… But she completely scorned me, and took those Jewel Seeds, and used them to try to reach Al-Hazard with Alicia's body. But I think she's just dead, now." And the tears overwhelmed her.
Ichigo sighed deeply. "Then how did you end up here?" she asked quietly.
The sobbing Fate gasped several times before getting her words out. "The Bureau took me in, and this lady named Lindy Harlaown sort of adopted me. They wanted me, because of my magical ability. So I've worked for them for about five years, suppressing rogue magic-users and all of that, protecting the fabric of space-time. But then, on your world, I confronted a... cat-girl. Just a freaking cat-girl! Now cat-girls never submit, and so we fought. And she defeated me! A cat-girl defeated me! I was so close to dying, but Nanoha saved me… again. But the damned cat-girl took my magical talisman, and my linker core was destroyed…"
"Your… what?" Ichigo interjected.
Fate paused long before responding. "My linker core. It's part of your soul, or something. It's what you use to do magic. Most people don't have one, so they can't do magic. If they're only damaged, they can recover. But if they're completely destroyed, they never come back! So… I'll never be able to do magic again! They tried everything, but it's… gone. And so I'm useless to them, and so they threw me out, threw me away like garbage! My own foster-mother, that damned Lindy, threw me out…" Fate's face fell to the table, and she sobbed loudly, loudly enough to disturb several patrons of the Café.
Ichigo reached out her right hand and began stroking the girl's blonde hair, trying to comfort her. Then she laid her hand on Fate's shaking shoulder, and the sobs slowly diminished. And then the blonde girl muttered, "Despised by one mother, thrown away by another. I have no family, no friends. My power is gone, so nobody wants me, and I'll never be whole again. All I have is Nanoha, and she pities me. I just want to die…" Her voice died then.
And Ichigo kept her hand on the blonde girl's shoulder and whispered her name quietly. Could this story be true? There was no way that the girl made something like this up to deceive Ichigo. But she could be insane, and be lost in a twisted fantasy that only she could see…
Such pity welled up in Ichigo's heart like she had never felt before. She had hated this girl, feared this girl, wanted her dead. And now, all she could feel for her was pity. She knew the girl hated to be pitied, but she could not escape the pity in her heart.
And she bent forward, and whispered, "Fate-o-san? Could you get up, and come with me? I want to show you something."
Author's Note: This chapter illustrates the primary difficulty in writing crossover fanfiction, at least for me. I assume that some of the people who read this story are Nanoha fans, and some are Mew Mew fans. While the Nanoha fans are familiar with Fate's story, Mew Mew fans may not be. But Ichigo needs to learn Nanoha's story to choose what to do, and the reader needs to know that story to understand why Ichigo does what she does. This leads to my writing this long and cumbersome chapter, and also risks spoiling the Nanoha anime for anyone who has not seen it.
When I am writing fanfiction for a single anime, I can assume that people who read the story know the anime, and I won't spoil it for them. That is not always true with crossovers.
The title of this chapter is of course taken from Eugene O'Neill drama, A Long Day's Journey into Night.
