I am sorry. I know it has been forever since I updated. cowers in fear for the angry mob ;) Can I make it up by handing out cookies to everyone ?;)
Thanx to my wonderful Beta Annette without who this story would have been worse than it is now ;)
Harry had made his way through some bushes when he realized that he hadn't taken his clothes with him when he left the 'scene of the crime'. If there ever was anything worse than having to run off after having been intimate with your enemy; it would be, having to run off naked after having been intimate with your enemy.
He knew that there was no way he could go back to Draco now to pick up his clothes. He thought his choices over, which worked so much better now he wasn't crying from embarrassment, and came to the conclusion that he would have to try to get to his...and Draco's tent without being seen by Remus.
The moment Remus' name popped up in Harry's mind he felt confused. He knew he had feelings for his teacher, but why had he slept with Draco? Maybe, it had just been some 'fun' to him as well. Then why did he get so worked up about Draco's comment that it had all just been sex? Harry stood still for a moment and leaned with his back against a tree. He didn't feel like thinking about this now. He had planned to get in Remus' pants not in Draco's, but things never did work out his way, did they?
Carefully, so as not to get too scratched up by thorns and low tree branches, the sad black haired youth made his way back to camp. Luckily, it wasn't that hard to find, because Remus was calling out for both him and Draco. All he had to do was follow his teacher's voice.
Harry carefully stepped over some twigs that where lying on the forest floor, as not to attract Remus' attention. Just when he made a big step to cross a slippery tree trunk he heard a way to familiar voice answer to Remus' calls.
"Here I am!" It was unmistakably Draco's voice and when Harry saw the blonde's figure walking up to Remus, the ground seemed to slip away from underneath him. Literally! Just seconds ago he had put his right foot next to his left on the tree trunk and now he was laying on the moist earth.
"Where have you been, Draco?! Have you seen H-…What was that?!" The worried teacher asked Draco while both he and the blonde made their way to the source of the loud thump-sound they had just heard. Harry couldn't help but notice both of the men's eyes almost pop out of their heads at the sight of his naked body sprawled on the ground.
It took Remus a while to find his voice back and when he did it still sounded slightly unsteady. "Harry? Uhm, what…happened?" Remus asked while he obviously tried to act like it was expected of him as a teacher and look away from his pupil's naked body. If Draco had needed any more confirmation for the teacher's attraction to his pupil, he had it now.
Although Draco had felt worried at seeing Harry lying on the ground, obviously in pain, this now made place for anger. "I will leave you two alone, because you obviously need your privacy," he spat out eying the naked man who was now standing in front of him. Because of his anger he forgot that he was the one who helped Harry get out of his clothes in the first place. "Was this your way of seducing him Harry? Well, when you look down you can see it worked out just fine!" commenting on the slight bulge that had grown in Remus' pants. Said teacher had tried his very best to hide it and now blushed involuntarily.
"Harry, what is he say-" But Remus was cut off by Draco who clearly was not done ranting to Harry.
"Maybe you should tell him how hard you came in my mouth or when I slid my finger in-" But Draco never got a chance to finish his sentence because Harry's fist had hit him hard in the stomach. It was difficult to say whether he was red with embarrassment about what Draco had just exposed or just from anger.
Remus was too stunned about what he had heard the blonde say to stop Draco from falling over. "H…Harry…" Remus got a grip on himself and on Harry's wrist after Harry landed his third blow while yelling at Draco to shut up.
"Harry? Harry?! Harry stop it!" Remus' arms slid around Harry's waist and he used his bodyweight to haul the angry man away from Draco. "Harry? Can you hear me? You need to calm down." Remus told Harry while he dragged him to the little lake at the other side of their camp site.
He helped Harry sit down and looked for something to cover the younger man's body with. When he did not see anything he settled with having Harry sit next to him instead of across, since he knew better than to walk away now to fetch a blanket. This way he wouldn't be confronted with Harry's nakedness to much. Luckily, his own body had gotten the hint and toned down the excitement in his pants.
He carefully placed his hand on Harry's shoulder. "Harry? Are you OK?" He asked in an almost timid, but caring tone. Knew perfectly well he was not fine, if the fight had been any indication, but this was Remus and with Remus Harry never minded him asking such an obvious question.
Harry silently shook his head. He didn't dare to look up, too scared to see the man of his dreams looking disappointed at him.
"Harry," Remus started, while looking out over the lake. "It hurts me to see you like this." His voice was thick with emotion.
Harry could finally muster up the courage to look up and face the older man's loving, but worried gaze. He noticed that the gaze that rested upon him, how gentle it was, made him feel uncomfortable. "What do you mean?" He knew entirely to well what his teacher, close friend, and love interest was talking about; but he could not yet speak to him about his broken heart. The wounds that Remus rejection had inflicted on it had not yet healed.
Remus sighed and again spoke the words that he had mentioned way too many times in the past couple of minutes. "Harry, please. I know you must be going through a difficult time, but I am worried about you." Before he could stop himself, another string of words slid past his lips. "More than I should." He bit his lip and looked away from Harry's widening eyes.
"Remus? What do you… I mean. Would you care to explain... Why did you say that, Remus?" Even though Harry's heart had made a little leap of joy, he dared not be happy yet, afraid of the disappointment that, without a doubt, would come.
The teacher who had meant so much to young Harry—and now also to adolescent Harry—decided it was time to come clean to his pupil. He could no longer hide the truth. It wouldn't be fair towards Harry, but it was most definitely unfair towards his own heart. His hand was lying on the moist forest floor and he tried to distract the rational part of his brain by twirling a little piece of twig between his fingers. He knew that he could never take back what he was about to say. It scared him not to be sure whether or not this was the right thing to do. He was always so sure of himself, and right now he wasn't sure of anything.
"I've always tried to be a good teacher to you, a friend even, but my heart betrayed me. I thought I could be loyal to values of the age we live in, but my heart wants something completely different." Remus' gaze was fixed in front of him. He could almost feel Harry gaze pulling the words right out of his mouth.
"What I am trying to say is that I have feelings for you Harry. Feelings that go beyond friendship." The teacher looked up to meet Harry's eyes, knowing he must feel betrayed because Remus had lied to him about this.
"That's why I would like to know what happened between you and Draco. And don't go telling me it was nothing, because I can see it touched you deeply." His wit instructed him not to mention Harry's naked body as the biggest indicator of what had probably expired between the two young men.
Harry couldn't believe what he was hearing. 'Remus…Does he love me?' He looked at his teacher and just had to know if it was really true or if this was just a figment of his imagination.
"Remus, do you -- Have you got -- I mean --" He had trouble finishing his sentence, because the possible answers, both positive and negative, clouded his thoughts.
The man in question, seated next to him, nodded slowly but firmly. "All I want is for you to be happy, Harry. Just, be careful I wouldn't want..."
Just as sudden as Remus' confession had come, Harry had started to bang his fists on Remus' chest. He didn't use real force since it was more out of helplessness, then out of anger. "Re..mus, why didn't you ever tell me? You should have told me! That's just mean!"
The soft-hearted teacher softly took hold of Harry's wrists, but made no further attempt to calm his pupil down. Knew this was what Harry needed right now. Now he knew he lost something he could have had if he had tried a little harder.
"Harry, just listen to me." Remus spoke softly while using his fingers to lift up Harry's chin so he could look the upset youth in the eyes. "I think there is someone more suitable out there for you; someone your own age. Some who..."
"If you mean Draco… he doesn't want me." Which was Harry's way of telling Remus he did fancy the blonde.
The older man couldn't help but to smile. "I wouldn't be so certain Harry." He carefully used the same hand he used to level Harry's face with his to caress the boy's soft but tearstained check.
"Can you give me one reason why he would be so jealous off ….uhmmm…us, if it wasn't because of his affection for you?" Harry had to let these words sink in for a while. The caressing fingers had moved to Harry's lips and he had a lot of trouble to thinking clearly. After what seemed like 5 minutes, but where merely 20 seconds; a soft whisper came from the boy's pink lips. The tip of his tongue touched Remus' finger. The older man flinched unintentionally and decided it was better to pull away. "He hates me. After what I did…"
Remus looked questioning. He suspected that "something" had happened. But he couldn't quite figure out what made one person naked and the other person covered in mud from head to toe. "Harry I'm almost afraid to ask, but what happened?"
The blush on Harry's cheek should have told Remus all he wanted to know and more. "Can't you guess Rem?" He had had trouble pronouncing even those 4 words, that's why he didn't trust himself speaking more than just that.
Remus sighed and shifted slightly. "I guess I should be happy for you now, Harry." Remus tried the cheery approach but he didn't make it past a half hearted attempt to a weak smile.
"Remus, wait. It didn't work out. We fought a..afterwards." Remus' gaze slowly trailed over his pupil's naked body. "But I wanted it to. Work out I mean." Harry's embarrassed blushing struck Remus as cute and innocent, but the words where like a dagger piecing his heart. He decided to let it bleed, because this was better for all of them. He had known it from the start.
Remus slowly rose from the cold ground and took of his jacket and draped it around Harry's shoulders. "Can you still make it up to him?"
Harry shrugged. "I don't know if I should."
"Why not?"
Harry turned his head a bit and looked up at his teacher. Remus stood next to him, folding his arms in front of his chest, almost demanding an answer.
"Wouldn't you mind, Remus? Now I know you feel the same. Isn't there just a little chance we'll…..be together?" By the pause he unintentionally put between the words he could answer the question for himself. He started to develop feelings for the hot-headed blonde. He wanted him in the same way he had wanted Remus for the past year. He wanted to caress the blonde's lips. He wanted to see those blue eyes look longing at him. He wanted to feel those lips on him and those hips against him. Moving, rocking, everything…
"Remus, wait! I have to… before it's too late!" Harry wrapped the jacket tightly around his shoulders and ran towards the tent he and Draco shared. He was going to make it up to the blonde, whether he wanted it or not.
Remus could do nothing but stare as the young man he'd never have made his way towards Draco. If this was the right thing to do, then why did it hurt so damn much?
I know, cliffhanger. Next chapter will probably be the last. I'll make sure this one is done sooner than the current chapter--...
Please leave a comment, because this will make me work harder. If you have ideas or wishes for the next chapter, please feel free to send them.
