21st Century Schizoid Man
Written By: Puratinamu Disuko
Beta By: WolfensteinVII
Disclaimer: This is a fan fiction. I do not own anything.
Warning! The goal of this fan work is to make a story of an OP protagonist more interesting than just one sentence curb stomping and bashing. To those that have read Normal, this is a rewrite under a different title with the same story structure but different character takes, scenes, and general plot. Also, this story will be gory with some very disturbing and squicky images of morally sick and taboo actions and thoughts like racism, cult worship, rape, and cannibalism, some vague and others described in detail, at some points in the story. These scenes are not there for the sake of being disturbing to make the story grim dark and gritty, but are there because they are necessary for the plot. This story definitely doesn't reflect my beliefs, so please don't sue me for it. Still, this story is made to be light-hearted so don't expect these scenes to be frequent if these things are what you only look for a story. If you're not into OP characters, can't stand gore, or if you're a minor, then I suggest you look elsewhere to spend your precious free time.
Arc 1: In the Chaos
Interlude 4: Medaka Lunch
It was the end of the world.
Well, not really…
But who would have thought that Medaka Kurokami would ask him to join her for lunch? Definitely not him.
It was just the end of the morning classes, the bell ringing loudly. Zenkichi was pulling out a list of numbers to order take-out when Medaka suddenly entered the Class 1 room, silencing the chatter of his classmates and making Shiranui's eyes narrow to the point she was squinting.
However, instead of walking towards him, his buxom president went beeline for his blue-haired friend.
"Miss Shiranui, can I ask you to let me have Zenkichi for lunch? I have something to ask of him."
Zenkichi alternated his look from Medaka and Shiranui, sweating a bit. Their stare-off was as intense as watching a women's mud wrestling match with all the grabbing and stuff. What was going to happen next?
By the way, women's wrestling matches are super interesting so please don't judge him.
Shiranui, a donut in her mouth, continued to squint at the purple-haired girl, twitching a bit. "How much?"
Medaka stared at her for a moment and then nodded to herself, understanding something.
"A box from Mister Donut," his childhood friend said with a straight face.
"Ten boxes," Shiranui said as her eyes returned to normal, smiling.
"I'm only borrowing him for lunch. Four boxes."
"But you have him as a member of the Student Council. Eight boxes."
"He's my childhood friend. It's my right to ask him to join me for lunch. Five boxes."
"Well, you have a point there. However, you do know he always eats with me during lunch, right? Seven. That's my bottom price."
"I would pay more, but time is running. Six boxes."
The blue-haired girl with the ahoge rubbed her hands, palm-to-palm, in glee. "Hmm, very well, six boxes it is."
Medaka then pulled out her cell phone and called, while Shiranui nodded in approval. Somehow, Zenkichi felt like he was an object being sold in a pawnshop.
As Medaka finished her call, she grabbed his hand and dragged him unceremoniously with her.
"Medaka-chan!"
"No time for talk, Zenkichi, we only have an hour."
"Bring him back in one piece, okay?" He heard his best friend that sold him like an old trinket shout as they left the classroom. He could only hope she would be all right, as it was that time in her cycle again. He was really glad he had already preempted it.
Stuck on worrying about his eternally hungry best friend, he never realized until he was sitting on a table that they had already arrived in the cafeteria, with Medaka sitting in front of him with several bowls of steaming hot ramen and tonkatsu, some beef bowls, and a couple of yakisoba plates. In addition, the longhaired girl was eating as fast as possible. It was reminiscent of Shiranui's voracious appetite, toned down to superhuman levels and done in a very refined manner.
For a several minutes, he just watched Medaka eat. He could definitely say that it was quite fascinating how a girl with a body like hers could eat such a large amount of food. Then again, she was one of a kind, a very special human with a very special body — he wasn't talking about her sexiness, but it sure does count — and to support such a body, she has to eat more than normal to keep with up with her extreme calorie needs.
Placing the empty plate on the table, she regaled him with her red eyes making him gulp. "Why aren't you eating, Zenkichi? I ordered food for the both of us."
"Ah… is that right…. Thanks. Can I have a beef bowl, please?"
Nodding in approval with her stern expression, she handed him what he asked, which he gratefully took with another thank you. He had to admit, having lunch with Medaka sure was different to his usual lunch with Shiranui.
It was a silent lunch for the most part, as Medaka just kept eating while Zenkichi did not know what topic they should discuss to liven up things. He did try to start a conversation several times with normal topics like the weather, the cafeteria food, and other mundane stuff. Sadly, he failed repeatedly, only garnering short answers like "yes" and "it's alright". However, he did notice how Medaka kept glancing at him, seemingly on the verge of telling him something but ultimately does the opposite and only continued eating her food.
Suddenly, a voice called out to them.
"Oh? Can I join you guys?"
It was Nabeshima with a fried fish, rice and miso soup combo in her tray, smiling as her one visible eye alternated between them, settling for Medaka in the end. His childhood friend's sternness somewhat lessened as she released an almost unnoticeable sigh, beaming as she nodded at the eye-patched girl.
The green-haired girl winked at the buxom president and sat beside her.
Thus, the impromptu lunch between the current members of the Student Council began.
"Have you guys heard yet? It seemed Yuubaru-kun had shaken the art world with his paintings," Nabeshima began, after chewing the fried fish's head.
"Oh? I thought it was a failure being that the theme was 'Beach Goddess'," Medaka said, stopping midway on her third beef bowl. "Most of them are quite abstract."
"Well, the paintings are still us in swim wear so it was qualified. They sure did garner much attention, quite embarrassing really, with some of the Art Club members zealously asking me to model for them."
"The paintings sure were… unique."
The eye-patched girl stole a glance at him, all the while smiling her Cheshire smile. "Unique is an understatement, Medaka-chan."
Alternating his eyes between the two girls, a beef bowl in his left hand and a pair of chopsticks in his right while munching on the saucy beef and rice goodness, Zenkichi kept silent as he remembered a particular request that almost made him choke a certain eccentric artist.
Just several days after the horrifying love letter incident, a freshman of Class 12 named Kizashi Yuubaru — he was a youthful guy with short black hair and a homely but pretty enough face that made him look like a girl if not for his uniform — came to ask the council for models for his artwork. It turned out that he entered an art contest — he was not a member of the Art Club, just affiliated with them — with the theme of "Beach Goddess". Medaka volunteered after glancing at Zenkichi, who was watering the flowerpots. Nabeshima only continued with her council work, ignoring the discussion as she signed some papers.
They went to the Art Club room after the green-haired girl finished with her secretary work, Yuubaru leading the way. As they arrived, the purple-haired girl then grabbed her uniform. With flourish, she took it off in one move, and in a flash, changed into a very appealing swimsuit that complemented her long hair. She then posed like a Mister Universe contestant, as she flexed her biceps, which emphasized her large chest. Zenkichi couldn't help but shake his head. The pose was good, but if only she posed like those gravure models….
He also could not help but inch away from the shorthaired third year beside him, who was all smiles. He was sensing something bad from her and something very bad for him, but before he could escape, the erstwhile Judo Captain grabbed his hand so hard that it almost broke. To be honest, he still had nightmares from the mauling he had gotten from her that particular night.
Anyway, it turned out the Yuubaru was an extremely talented artist with how fast he finished. Zenkichi was even sure the black-haired guy had his eyes closed as he did the painting.
Everyone then huddled to get a closer look at the painting. The result made him wide-eyed, the blood on his face draining as his body felt cold.
The whole canvas was just black, nothing but darkness. However, Medaka's silhouette was still discernible, wispy, and almost otherworldly, the darkness enveloping her form accentuating her beauty… like a goddess.
Nabeshima wore the same expression, though tinted with confusion. Zenkichi thanked the small miracle that the voice in her head did not know what the painting actually was, or it knew but did not tell. Either way, the important thing was that the green-haired girl did not know the relevance of the painting. Still, she kept looking at him, her curiosity showing on her pretty face. He never answered her queries.
Medaka, on the other hand, was just plain confused, but then chalked it up as some unique artistic approach by Yuubaru, praising him. The artist was quite ecstatic with the result and was really thankful for Medaka's help.
Then the eye-patched girl did something that made him choke on his own spit.
She decided to try modeling for another painting.
Medaka wholeheartedly agreed, with Yuubaru eagerly nodding at the prospect of another work.
Even then, Zenkichi remained silent, acting his best as though nothing unusual was happening. He even admired Nabeshima's fighter look with her judo uniform as an impromptu coat over her sporty swimsuit with her black belt on her naked waist. He had to be honest, he found the green-haired secretary hot in her outfit.
Just as expected, the eccentric artist finished in a flash, with very interesting results. The painting was of Nabeshima posing as though she was about to grapple someone surrounded by several feline like beasts and black cats with an old marble background under a dim yellow light, the walls full of alien writings and familiar hieroglyphics. However, that was not all, as her eyes were disturbingly yellow and catlike, her eye-patch gone, the irises were slits sharp as a Damascus blade. Some of her hair — which was snow-white in the painting — was clumping, forming like cat ears on the top of her head, her actual ears pointy and almost elfin-like, her skin beautifully bronze, and her wide challenging smile showing cat-like fangs. Similar to Medaka's painting; it also had the same unearthly feeling to it. Still, at least it looked like a fetishistic cosplay painting at first glance, which was a problem in its own right.
The green-haired girl narrowed her one visible eye as she stared at the painting while giving him inquiring looks from time to time. She then turned her attention fully at him, which only meant that the voice never told her what the painting actually meant. Good, the cat was learning. Even if Nabeshima had suspicions on what exactly was happening to her, Zenkichi was sure she was still far from the truth.
Medaka just nodded in approval while the painter was becoming more ecstatic with how the painting turned out.
Zenkichi inwardly thanked his lucky stars that Shiranui was not there… which was a very stupid thing to do since as soon as he finished the thought, the blue-haired girl dashed through the room's door, asking him for food, which was her way of telling him that she would go home with him that day.
Yuubaru, in an artistic high, suddenly pounced on his best friend, somehow managing to change her into a school swimsuit, colloquially named as sukumizu, with her name already sewn on it in a flash. Zenkichi would have been amazed at the eccentric artist managing to do such a feat to Shiranui if not for the blue-eyed girl flashing him a cute grin.
That was when he realized, his best friend knew about the request and Yuubaru's unique talent, and for the fun of witnessing his distress, she got onboard the bandwagon of modeling for the artist's paintings.
Medaka agreed with her usual stern expression while Nabeshima, her usual curiosity very much showing on her face, nodded.
The result actually made his heart stop.
It was a very sexy woman who had some resemblance to Shiranui, smiling lustfully at them, the school swimsuit gone, her body naked as the day she was born with the key parts tastefully covered by unidentifiable black, abstract-like, alien squiggly things, which also surrounded her form, filling up the once empty canvas.
The painting sure did shock the council girls while Shiranui gave him a peace sign.
Still, in the end, nothing extraordinary happened, all normal, which was great. He even managed to evade the girls' beseeching eyes for him to try modeling for a painting. He was normal after all, and just the thought of witnessing… whatever. Though Nabeshima did try to get some answers from him, he still managed evade her questions, however, evading the clawing that happened after was another question.
Zenkichi touched his cheek, feeling phantom pains from the painful memory.
"Hey, Medaka-chan, do you think those paintings meant something?" asked the eye-patched secretary as she nibbled on a fish bone.
"I think so. However, with the painter not even knowing the meaning behind them, we will never know," the scantily clad president said with her usual serious voice as she finished a plate of yakisoba.
Zenkichi could only conclude one thing about Kizashi Yuubaru: the artist somehow had the ability to get a glimpse of the potential and true nature of those he paints. Harmless until the eccentric painter paints the wrong person. The effeminate guy was really lucky. Still, he did ask Shiranui to keep tabs on Yuubaru and his paintings, just in case.
Just as the short conversation about the modeling request finished, silence descended on them as they continued to eat their lunch. Thankfully, Nabeshima was there to save the day.
"Say, have you guys heard of the group Kiyoterae?"
"What's that?" Medaka asked after silently slurping a mouthful of ramen noodles.
"Well, in a way, they are part all-girl band and part idol group that's been all the talk recently."
"Hmm, are they any good?"
"Personally, I really like them, especially their live concerts." Zenkichi entered the conversation, glad for the harmless topic at hand.
"Hooh, so you've seen them perform live, Zenkichi-kun?" Nabeshima grinned wide.
"I do go out sometimes, you know. I'm a normal guy with normal interests."
"So you've seen the lead flashing her bits on stage?" The eye-patched girl's grin became wider.
"Wait, what are you implying, Nabeshima-senpai?"
"What is Zenkichi talking about, Secretary Nekomi?" Medaka asked.
Still grinning, the green-haired girl turned her attention to the purple-haired girl beside her. "Well, you see, their lead, Saki Sukinasaki, is famous for flashing her top during her concerts." She was clearly expecting some reaction.
However, her expectations came to naught as the current Student Council President only nodded. "Oh? Okay."
"Medaka-chan, Zenkichi watches these live concerts…. Don't you feel a bit peeved?" Nabeshima persevered.
Nevertheless, her efforts were in vain, as the red-eyed girl only stared at the now twitching girl. "Why? As far as I can tell, that lead singer that you're talking about was just expressing herself, nothing lewd behind it."
Nabeshima sighed and relented, nodding to herself. "Well, you've got a point there. However, I don't think Zenkichi feels the same way." But she still kept on her attack, so Zenkichi decided to intervene before he gets a beating again.
"Hey, hey, you don't know that. I do appreciate their music; other things just come as a bonus."
At last, the feline-like girl waved her white flag and shrugged. "Oh, well…. I tried."
"Nabeshima-senpai!"
"Anyway, the group is really rising fast in the music world, even surpassing Baby Metal and the AKB groups in popularity on their genre," Nabeshima added ignoring him.
"What record label is this group under?" Medaka asked; curios about something. If Zenkichi had to guess, she was inquiring whether the girls had some connection to some record companies affiliated with the zaibatsu.
"Hmm, I can't remember. However, I do remember some blog posts about their unknown manager being the president of the record company so it must be fairly new."
Medaka tilted her head and then nodded to herself. Zenkichi already knew that the girl band Kiyoterae wasn't connected to the Kurokami Zaibatsu, however…. He decided not to delve much into it; if it comes then it will come, no reason to fret when the inevitable wasn't there yet.
"It seems the Japanese music industry is entering another shift from idol music," Medaka said, giving her own two-cents about Japan's music industry.
"I think that's for the best, the songs were getting repetitive anyway." Nabeshima nodded in agreement breaking him from his sudden soliloquy.
"Hey, I resent that comment! Idol music is pretty good."
"Nah, I'm more of an alternative rock fan myself." The green-haired secretary said.
"Classical music is the best for me, though I listen to what's popular from time to time." The purple-haired president added her piece in the conversation.
Zenkichi decided not to argue and placed his now empty bowl to the table, his chopsticks clinking on the porcelain. "Meh, to each their own I guess."
"So you only listen to Idol Music?" Nabeshima suddenly asked, curious as a cat.
"Well, I do listen to some western songs, but only if they're catchy enough, which is not much since I don't really understand them," He lied. No need to give them clues about his [Lingual Logic] skill.
"But you do listen to K-pop, right?"
He gave a succinct nod like an English gentleman being asked about his interesting interests. "Well, it's pretty good, like those all-female groups." Definitely and especially those female groups. There's just something different about Korean Idol groups compared to the Japanese ones, and nope, he wasn't talking about how Korean Idols and plastic surgery or the sexual themes within their songs and music videos compared to the cutesy and pure feeling of Japanese Idols. However, being the connoisseur that he is, he religiously listens to both. No need to enter a self-debate on which is better; both are manufactured music anyway. Ugh, just admitting it was painful.
"Ahuh, next you're going to say they're super interesting."
"Well, I can't lie, they sure are super interesting."
"Somehow, Zenkichi, my opinion of you gets lower and lower each passing day." Nabeshima said disdainfully.
"Hey, what's wrong with liking female Idol groups? You understand my point right, Medaka-chan?"
Medaka's reply was a cute pout making him feel guilty for his taste in music. However, Zenkichi relented. Good music was good music regardless of its nature. Liking Idol music is normal, especially the happy tune it emanates. Reminiscent of…. Zenkichi shook his head.
He was grateful when Nabeshima veered the conversation to another direction.
"Zenkichi-kun's taste in music aside, can you imagine actually doing something like flashing your chest on stage? Definitely not me." The purple-eyed girl shivered.
"Hmm, I don't think I could currently do something like that either. Say, do the organizers actually allow something like that?"
He was really glad with Medaka's answer. Just the thought of her flashing her top to a crowd of wild maniacs was enough to give him a heart attack. Still, he had to be honest with himself; he did go to a Kiyoterae concert because of the boob-flashing rumor. However, he did get a much welcome surprise when it turned out their music and performance was actually good.
"Well, as far as I know, western female fans and some artists do flash during such concerts… so maybe it is allowed." The cat-like senior answered the president's query.
"Of course, freedom of expression…."
Anyway, the current topic was still making him uncomfortable.
"To be honest with you girls, I find our current topic a bit… you know… inappropriate."
"Aww, is Zenkichi-kun feeling shy of girls talking about flashing boobies?" Nabeshima leered, leaning on the table enough to give him a tasteful view of the senior's cleavage.
"Nabeshima-senpai!"
"Even if this country is a constitutional monarchy, we are still free to talk on whatever topic we want." Medaka nodded, ignoring her secretary's actions.
"Medaka-chan!" Zenkichi shouted scandalously but then sighed. He just could not win against the two. "At least consider my presence when you girls talk about such things."
"Agreed."
"Sure."
Medaka and Nabeshima continued to talk about mundane things, him silently smiling as he watched them. The girls were definitely friends, close enough to talk about anything, whatever girls talk under the sun. It was a very good outcome of the Love Letter incident, making all the stress and the mauling from Nabeshima worth it.
Then Zenkichi remembered something.
"Umm, Medaka-chan, what is it that you wanted to talk with me about? I'm sure it's not about the modeling request and music."
Medaka suddenly stiffened and then took relaxing breath. "Ah, well, you see... are you two free this Sunday?"
"I think so…." Zenkichi answered while Nabeshima nodded. Maybe it was a council project outside the campus. Oh well, at least he had something to do.
"You see, I have tickets for the new water park opening this coming Sunday. I want you and Secretary Nekomi to accompany me, if it's alright with you two."
"Huh?" Zenkichi poked his ears with his pinky. "Can you repeat it again, Medaka-chan? I don't think I heard you correctly."
"Stop acting oblivious, dumbass!" Nabeshima smacked his head with her knuckled hand.
"But!"
"You don't want to come, Zenkichi?" Medaka asked, her sad face almost breaking his heart.
"No, I'd like to! I'll definitely come!"
"Excellent!" his childhood friend said joyfully, clapping her hands, her earlier sad face gone like the wind.
Yes, the apocalypse is nigh.
For him, at least.
