Brief intermission to apologize for my absence. Due to technical issues, this update is coming to you via 3DS. More spelling errors may be present. In the meantime, happy holidays!

R.W.


Chapter Seven: Unsettled

The Balamb train station signaled the end of the companionship they had achieved. The walk to the edge of town was quiet and neither man was quite prepared for the road back to Garden. Zell walked with his fists shoved in his pockets, shoulders dropped as low as they could get. His gaze never strayed from the path, almost as if he were afraid of what would happen when they got home.

Conversely, Seifer stood tall as ever, head held high with pride. Not one step gave hint to the submissiveness he had shown in court, though he would argue that his actions on the bench had all been self-preservation. Provoking the jury would only have succeeded in getting him the death penalty once and for all. But there was more to it than that; surrounding him was an air of independence, as if he wanted people to believe he didn't need Zell like they all probably thought.

Needing someone was a weakness and he'd shown too much of that already. Hell, it was hard to look at himself without seeing a coward. Though a coward wouldn't have waltzed through the forest and fought a T-Rexaur. A coward wouldn't have taken off after his friends to try and help them on their mission. A coward wouldn't have followed a woman he just met on the promise of opportunity that he had no hold over. No, he knew that he wasn't a coward, and maybe that could be enough.

They hesitated just outside Garden's gates. A small bridge had been bult to close the gap between the school and the ground now that they were living out of a crater, but just staring at the hole in the ground was enough to remind Zell the ordeal he'd been through. Enough to remind him of the fear the team had felt thinking they were going to die in the missile base — or worse, the fear that their actions might not have had any effect and they would have lost their friends anyway.

A hand on his own tore Zell from his thoughts and he looked up to see a reluctant smile as some of Seifer's wall fell down. They had caused all of this trouble together, Seifer with kidnapping the president and Zell with saying who they were. Now, they had come full circle. It was time to face the music and finish the race the same way they'd started. Side by side.

Taking a deep breath, Zell nodded and took the first step into Garden with Seifer only half a step behind. It was dinnertime and students were scarce in the halls, though there had been a few of them to stop and stare as the two blonds made their way to the cafeteria, which was almost overflowing. Their presence seemed to make all noise cease immediately and in a sharp motion, Seifer released Zell's hand and crossed his arms over his chest.

Groups slowly began whispering amongst themselves again, though the boys' paranoia convinced them that they were the general topic of conversation. Shuffling to get food was the easy part in spite of the discomfort. Facing Squall and the gang was significantly harder. Zell's grip on his tray tightened the more his hands shook, standing there with a dumb look on his face at their table. Was sitting there even still an option after abandoning them like he had?

"Hey guys!" he piped up, flashing a smile and trying not to seem as nervous as he really was. "Can we sit?"

Rinoa grinned in return, pushing Squall a little further down to make room. She was the only one who didn't look afraid or like there were eggshells to walk on. The only one who looked proud of them for making it back in one piece, though their peers were certainly cutting them to bits in their minds.

"Welcome back, guys!" As they sat, Rinoa reached for Zell's hand to squeeze as reassurance, but quickly moved on to do the same to Seifer. "It looks like you didn't get into too much trouble on your way back. Did you celebrate last night?"

"No."

Seifer's answer came and went abruptly, ended by the pizza he shoved in his face. Zell's eyes narrowed as he stared at the taller boy, but shook his head and tried to smile at his friends. Saying they slept together obviously wasn't an option, but he could at least say that they saw Raijin and Fujin. It hadn't been entirely uneventful.

"We had an early train," he offered instead. "So after the trial was over, we settled in at Raijin's and passed out. Galbadia's pretty far when you can't fly."

Unfortunately for those who had come to love the freedom of flying, Ragnarok had been given back to Esthar after the war. Selphie had been pretty upset about it, but Laguna said he would take it out for them to use if they really needed it. Squall hadn't exactly been thrilled to find out the president was his father, but it was slowly becoming okay with all of them. They were all happy for him, that he didn't have to be alone anymore.

"So, uh... Are you guys..." Irvine's voice was quiet and he shifted as a result of his own discomfort, awkwardly waving a hand between Seifer and Zell as if that were enough to finish his question. "I mean, I guess, how long have you two... you know."

Mouth agape, Selphie half-heartedly smacked Irvine's shoulder as if trying to tell him he'd crossed a line. As if bringing up the kiss had been deemed an untouchable topic.

"They just got back! Give them some time to figure things out. It's not everyday your friends kiss on live tv!"

At the words live tv, Zell's eyes widened and he began to choke on his food. He'd been so caught up in the moment that he'd forgotten entirely that they were even there to film that. Seifer's own surprise was somehow handled with less composure. Shooting up from his seat, he kicked it to the ground and lifted his tray only to dump the food onto Zell's and walk away. Torn between which boy to help, Rinoa gave Zell a good pat on the back to help him catch his breath, but quickly took after Seifer.

Left to everyone else's stares, Zell only felt more uncomfortable and alone and cornered. He'd never had to consider what a relationship with Seifer could do to the dynamics of their friend group, but it looked like it was time to find out. They all looked betrayed, as if he'd done something bad by just kissing the boy, but they all should have known better. They'd forgiven Edea, even after everything Ultimecia did through her. Though it might take some time, forgiving Seifer wouldn't be any more difficult than doing that.

"Um..." He began, clearing his throat and absentmindedly fiddling with his fingers. "We're not... It's not like we're together or anything. We haven't... talked about it. I don't..." A sigh. "What do you guys want from me?"

"I thought you hated Seifer," Squall spoke with a shrug. As if he had a right to talk. As if he hadn't acted all buddy-buddy with the blond even after being struck in the face by Hyperion. "We were all just surprised."

"I know you said there was nothing going on with the girl in the library but... I didn't think you were involved with Seifer either. You could have told us."

Zell looked away. Quistis was wrong for once. This wasn't something he could have talked to them about. They had been enemies for such a long time and he didn't even know how to feel about whatever it was he and Seifer had going on.

"We AREN'T together," he reiterated. "I'm done talking about it."


"Seifer, wait!"

Rinoa ran towards him with one hand out, happily interlocking their fingers when he stopped and turned towards her. For the longest time she had thought this would never happen again, them being close, but now it had become possible. She wanted them to still be best friends even if she was with Squall. Even if everyone else hated him.

"I'm not going back in there, Rin."

She giggled, putting her free hand on her hip. Stubborn as ever. A good sign he was back in his own brain, which was a relief at this point. None of them were quite sure who he was anymore. Could he still be more man than monster?

"I wasn't going to ask you to." She knew how hard it was for him to be vulnerable. Knights didn't have emotions. Feelings would only get in the way. "But I do think we should talk about Zell. You both deserve to be happy and I don't want to see you get hurt."

"Hah! I'm not here to talk about my feelings, so don't bother."

Rinoa sighed. It had taken a while for him to open up to her in the beginning too. Baby steps. She only wished he still felt he could be that open.

"Then just listen. Zell cares about you and I know you care about him. Don't screw it up by running away. You're actually a pretty great boyfriend when you let yourself love someone. I should know."

And it was true. She had loved him. At the time she had had every reason to believe he loved her too. The way he would look at Zell was too obvious. Maybe the two boys had always been in love. Now she just needed to make sure they got over themselves and gave their relationship a shot. They would only need the one.

Seifer frowned and took his hand back, knowing she had a point. But as far as he was concerned, Zell was just a boy. Nothing more, nothing significant. He was doing just fine on his own. Wasn't Squall always preaching about how you didn't need anyone else to survive?

"Go finish your meal. I'll be in my room."

The grin Rinoa had been attempting to keep fell as Seifer walked away. There was still a lot of ground to cover if her friends were going to live out their fairytale. Maybe it wasn't too late to help that happen.


The rest of the night was composed of Zell groaning and ignoring questions he didn't want to answer. It seemed silly that he had spent all of that energy worrying about Seifer when no one else did and now everyone wanted to know about Seifer. What happened with Seifer. How long it's been happening with Seifer. It was all too much.

Even in the sanctity of his dorm, he couldn't escape it. Thoughts kept running wild, keeping him up. Frustrated and exhausted, he finally got up to do something about it and that was how Zell ended up knocking on a door at one in the morning. Hyne, neighbors with early classes would hate him later.

It was Seifer's roommate who answered the door, hair mussy and no shirt to be seen. The kid's eyes were red, bags underneath the eyes a deep purple. It almost made Zell feel bad for coming all the way there, but after a moment the roommate smirked and walked away. In that moment, Zell decided he didn't like the kid.

"Get your ass up, Almasy. Boyfriend's here for a fuck."

Eyes widening, Zell began to greatly regret not staying in his own room. Seifer was going to kill him, and yet there was a softness in the man's blue eyes as he came to the door that Zell hadn't had many opportunities to see.

Seifer had on a grey shirt, luckily for Zell who would have turned red had he shown up bare-chested as his roommate had. A moment passed in silence without either smiling or showing any real signs that they cared about each other. But who would come to the door in the middle of the night to see someone they hated?

"You okay, Chickie?"

Zell's relief that he hadn't blushed upon seeing Seifer was in vain. The moment he heard the man's voice, his cheeks lit up like Rudolph. Fuck hormones.

"Can't sleep," came his simple response.

It had been enough to satisfy both of them for another minute and then Seifer grinned. It hadn't been easy getting here, but maybe they could make it after all. Stepping away from the door only for a moment, Seifer returned wearing his coat and with gunblade in hand.

"Let's go."

Initial hesitation ceased when Seifer reached for Zell's hand. The two scurried through the corridors together, never letting go. Zell's grip tightened once they were inside the training center, chest nearly collapsing as he felt the pressure of the water all over again. And what if they ran into T-Rexaur again?

"Don't be such a chicken wuss. We'll be fine."

Zell swallowed hard, but nodded. He was a good fighter and Seifer was more than capable of handling a sword. The more often they trained like this, the better team they would become and at least it gave him sonething to do.

What he hadn't expected was for them to fight their way through five grats and duck onto the secret balcony. Couples had a tendency to sneak there after hours and Zell noticed how the two that were there scurried out at the sight of Seifer, as if heading the disciplinary committee actually meant anything right now.

But they weren't there to rain on anyone's parade or freak couples out. No, instead, Seifer silently moved a hand to either of Zell's shoulders and stood behind him facing out, looking over the railing at the world around them. At the stars.

"I'm only going to say this once, but I like you." Seifer's voice was low, breath beating down on Zell's ear as he hunched himself over to speak to the boy, who somehow managed to get redder. "I don't care what your friends think about me."

Zell cared what his friends thought. They were a team and he wanted their support. With Seifer, he didn't know if he'd ever get that. But he sighed and spun around carefully to look into Seifer's eyes. Maybe it was worth the risk.

"This is fuckin' weird."

Though Seifer nodded in agreement, neither man moved. Weird didn't have to mean bad or wrong. It was just new and different and unsuspected.

"What do you say, Chick?"

Before Zell could answer, he found himself pulling Seifer into a kiss and he supposed that was answer enough.

End Chapter Seven