Dislcaimer: I don't own anything related to Harry Potter, however vaguely. In fact all I do own are a copy of each of the books.
Thanks to the following reviewers: Freja, Kates Masters Sister, Hannaham, lostindreams1001, Lady Mearle, sunkissed italian, sugur-huny-bun, MoonylovesFlo, Emmas Padawon, tastethesky7 andSaphra!
A/N: For one horrible moment there I thought this chapter wasn't going to get posted. But our broadband is up and working again thankfully. I've updated myspace if anyone wants to see. I've just added some more pictures and things. Nothing major.
Happy Birthday Hannah! This chapter is for you!
Chapter 7
"Okay girls, I have some bad news," Jenny announced, as she hurried into the flat. Tash was already there waiting for Lily, who had just appeared from the bedroom, having just finished applying her make up.
"What? Has Alaska finally realised that if she pulls the end of the toilet roll she can create a mess?" Tash asked. Jenny rolled her eyes.
"No sadly she discovered that last week," she said. "No the problem is that my car's out of petrol."
"You let it get out of petrol?" Tash asked. "Isn't that what the little dial next to your speedometer is for?"
Jenny snorted at her friend.
"Mmm you're right…remind me Tash, what did you do on your second driving lesson?"
Tash shifted on the sofa.
"I burst a tyre," she mumbled. Jenny raised an eyebrow as if to say 'exactly.'
"Don't argue guys," Lily said. "It's my hen night. The last thing I want is for two of my bridesmaids to start arguing."
"Sorry Lily," Tash said. "So are we walking then?"
"Mhmm," Jenny said. "So at least none of us have to be designated drivers tonight." She stopped with a grin spreading all over her face. "Yay! We can all get drunk!"
Tash snorted and held the door open.
"Please, you know I don't drink."
"Mhmm, sure," Jenny said. She had a wicked glint in her eyes and Lily had a sudden urge to test all of Tash's drinks that evening.
"We're off James," she called as she went through the door.
"Have a good time!"
"Any ideas where the boys are going tonight?" Jenny asked as they all lingered on the hall way for Lily to check that she had her keys.
"No and I've said to Sirius I don't want to know what they end up doing," Lily said. "They can do whatever they want to do with James. Short of getting him so drunk he ends up in hospital of course…"
"You're a brave person," Tash said. "Letting Sirius organise James's stag night."
"It's his right as best man," Lily pointed out.
"I know but you're still brave!" Tash said. "I mean, this is Sirius we're talking about."
"Talking about me?" came a voice from the stairs. All three girls turned to see Sirius and Remus standing not five feet from them.
"Just a wild guess," Jenny said raising an eyebrow at Sirius's rather loud orange and pink shirt. "Are you going out tonight?"
"Like the shirt Jenny?" Sirius asked. "I asked Remus if he wanted to know where he could get one but he just said…"
"In your dreams mate," Remus finished the sentence. Jenny rolled her eyes.
"Just don't overdo it," Tash reminded them. "We have the rehearsal at the church tomorrow afternoon."
Sirius saluted her and they both walked past the girls towards the flat.
"Remind me, no alcohol," Tash said. "Our flat can only hold one helplessly drunk person, and from the looks of things, Sirius is going to be that person."
OOO
By eleven o clock Lily and her friends had finished at the restaurant and headed to the nearest club. The group had had three drinks each, but where as Lily (and most of her friends) only felt mildly tipsy, Tash was completely wasted. Added to which the stripper that had been on earlier kept casting the party hopeful glances from the bar.
"Hey can I propose a toast?" Tash asked, pausing only to raise her glass and hiccup. Everyone groaned.
"Another one?" Alice asked. "You've already toasted Lily, James, Vodka and Vo5 hairspray."
Tash frowned.
"Really? Why did I toast that?"
"I think you've had enough Tash," Lily said firmly.
"Really?" Tash asked, in a curious voice.
"Yes really," Lily said.
"Really?" Tash asked drawing out the word a little more.
"Really!" Lily nodded.
"Reeeeeealy?" Tash asked, before bursting into giggles. Over on the other side of the table, Jenny and Crystel snorted.
"So Jenny," Alice turned to Jen. "How does it feel to be a healer in charge? Have you cracked from the pressure yet."
"Crraaaaaack!" Tash said a raspy voice.
"No I haven't cracked yet," Jenny shook her head so hard that her bunches wobbled dangerously. "I'm really enjoying it."
"God you're strange," Crystel said bluntly. "Most healers I know lose their sanity after getting promoted."
"Excuse me!" Jenny said, folding her arms and looking affronted. "My mother is a healer in charge in case you have forgotten. And she's not insane."
"Reeeeally?" Tash asked.
"Oh don't start that again!" Lily said. "Who's idea was it to let Tash drink for the first time in her life?"
"Mine," Jenny said, shifting guiltily in her seat.
"Right we're never getting her drunk again," Lily stated as Tash started to sing (though what she was singing it was hard to tell). "She's really annoying when she's drunk."
"Lily," Tash said, beaming scarily at her friend.
"Do I want to hear this?" Lily asked.
"Yes you do!" Tash said, poking her gently in the arm. "You're getting married next week."
Lily nodded.
"I know Tash."
"You're going to be James's other half."
"Tash I thought I already was James's other half?" Lily asked. Tash frowned.
"Oh yeah…" she said.
"You know what I think?" Jenny said, placing her drink down on the table. "I think, after you get to a certain point in your relationship, you do become the other person's other half."
"No," Tash shook her head. "Coz Sirius's two halves are Rod Stewart and David Essex."
Everyone present snorted in their drinks.
"Hey Crystel," Jenny turned to their old dorm mate. "How are you and Jacob? He's coming to the wedding isn't he?"
Crystel went a very nice shade of magenta and she giggled.
"Yeah he's coming," she nodded, smiling happily.
"How long have you been going out?" Alice asked.
"Just over a year," Crystel said. "I went with him to the Valentines Ball but nothing happened after that. And then last Christmas we met at a party again and we started talking."
"Wasn't he friends with Ethan Roberts?" Tash asked, scowling at her glass. Crystel suddenly grinned.
"Yeah did you hear what happened to him?" Everyone around the table shook their heads.
"He got arrested for selling counterfeit brooms," Crystel said. Lily laughed and Tash cheered loudly.
"How did you find that out?" Jenny asked in astonishment.
"He ended up in St Mungo's when he tried to make a getaway on one of them," Crystel said. "Fractured his cheekbones, his nose, his left arm and both of his legs!"
Everyone on the table laughed again.
"He's not going anywhere then!" Tash said happily. As Lily turned to reach for her drink she spotted the stripper eyeing Tash up.
"Tash," Lily said as Tash stopped chuckling. "The stripper at the bar is checking you out."
"Oooh! He's hot!" Tash squealed. Lily looked at her friend in horror.
"Tash! You have a boyfriend!"
"So?" Tash shrugged. "I'm allowed to fantasise."
Jenny turned to see who they were talking about.
"Eww! Tash! He's disgusting! You've had far too much to drink!"
"No I haven't!" Tash shook her head before wincing. "God I'm getting a headache. Think I'll get another one…"
"I'm coming with you," Lily said immediately. Tash stood up and immediately swayed.
"Guess I'm coming too," Jenny said, holding Tash up by the arm. Her friend shrugged her away and the three of them approached the bar.
"Two rum and cokes, one vodka and cranberry and two glasses of tap water," Lily said, casting a glance at Tash, who had immediately began to talk to the stripper.
"No!" she wailed, turning back to Lily. "I don't want water. Please Lils! Can I have another cranberry?"
"No!" Lily said firmly. "You've had plenty tonight Tash."
"Can I buy you a drink?" the stripper asked. Tash turned and beamed at him.
"You can," Jenny said. "But she won't drink it. Not while we're around."
"Jenny I'm going to the bathroom," Lily said. "Can you get our drinks and watch her?"
"I need watching?" Tash asked. "Cool!"
Jenny rolled her eyes.
"No problem," she assured her.
When Lily returned five minutes later however, she found Tash and the stripper gone and Jenny back at the table, looking as though she might cry.
"Jen where's Tash?" Lily asked in alarm.
"I don't know," Jenny shook her head. "I was keeping an eye on her and then I turned to pay for the drinks. And then the stripper asked me whether I was trying to dress like an apple or a cucumber!" She pouted. "He's mean! And when I turned back Tash was gone. The stripper too."
"Oh brilliant!" Lily said, throwing up her hands in despair. "God only knows what she's doing now!"
"Guess we'll just have to trust her not to do anything stupid," Jenny said. Of course Jenny's plan did not calculate the possibility that Tash could be in danger wandering around the streets of London completely pissed out of her mind. Lily however did calculate for this and glanced at her watch.
"Maybe we should call it a night," she suggested. Her friends groaned.
"Come on Lily, its your hen night!" Alice pleaded. "Tash'll be fine. She's an auror."
"Yeah but she's not normally drunk when she's on duty," Lily pointed out.
"Trust me, so long as she's conscious, we've got nothing to worry about," Jenny said, pulling Lily back into her seat and shoving her drink into her friends hand.
OOO
James was feeling happy. Better than that, he was feeling extremely happy. He was not however as drunk as Sirius, who was having trouble walking in a straight line. Remus was shaking his head at his friend, but was not feeling quite as willing to scold as he normally did. This was largely due to the amount of alcohol that they had shared between them, Peter and Frank and everyone else present at the stag night.
"Hey I found a friend!" Peter shouted. He was in a fairly similar state to Sirius. Accompanying them was one of the strippers from the last club, who had Peter and Sirius on each arm. Peter had originally picked her up, but she was showing a lot of interest in Sirius regardless of this. Peter at this present moment had wondered off to the side of the street and was now patting the top of a dustbin.
"That's not a friend, that's a dustbin," James told his friend. Peter looked at it and then back at James.
"Oh… d'you think it'll be friends with me?"
"So then, we each had another shot," Sirius was telling the stripper, his speech starting to slur a little bit. "And… well everything's actually a bit of a blur after that."
"And you said we wouldn't get a buzz from a shot of vodka!" James said.
"We did!" Sirius said happily, letting go of the stripper and allowing Peter to claim her again. "Buuuuuuuuzzzzzzzzz….!"
"Sirius," Remus tried to catch his friends attention. "Sirius. This is your house."
Sirius was not paying attention. He had crashed into the wall of the ally, almost knocking Peter and the stripper over. Neither of them noticed as they had started making out on the corner of the street.
"Are you okay?" James called.
"He'll be fine," Remus assured him. "Come on, let's get home. It's ten past one."
"Night guys!" Sirius shouted over his shoulder, but he wasn't paying attention. He was more interested in the person that had just walked into him and was now beaming at him in his arms.
OOO
"You shouldn't have let me stay," Lily scolded Jenny. Jenny giggled childishly. Lily couldn't stay too mad at her friend. Being mad was starting to give her a headache. Plus Jenny had forgotten her coat and they had had to double back to the club for it. She had re-emerged looking rather upset about something. Sensing her mood, Lily had decided not to ask.
"Tash'll be fine!" Jenny said skipping beside her friend. "It's half past one, she's probably home by now."
"Or she could be just over there," Lily pointed. Jenny squinted. Sure enough, just outside her flat, Tash was standing on her doorstep, with a confused frown on her face.
"Right, where am I going?" she asked herself. She looked at the door in front of her and grinned. "Oh yeah! I'm supposed to be at Lily's."
"You ain't staying at home in that state," Lily said firmly. "Come on Tash, you're coming home with me. If Sirius is half as drunk as you are your house'll explode."
"Lily?" Tash asked dozily. "Heyo!" she grinned maniacally and threw herself on Lily. "Dicha mish me?"
"I'm going home Lily," Jenny said. "You okay with nutter there?"
"I'll be fine," Lily said. "It's only a few streets away."
"Lily," Tash said. "I just did something really naughty."
"I don't want to know," Lily said, cursing herself for letting her friend get into this state. "Come on, you're coming home."
"I am home," Tash said stupidly pointing at the door. "That is my home. I just came out of there."
"Sure," Lily said, hoisting Tash's arm over her shoulder and staggering down the street with her. As she did Tash swung round and hugged Lily around the waist.
"Lily," Tash said panicky. "The floor is sliding!"
"Yes dear," Lily said, clutching Tash's arm tightly. Her friend was a good three inches taller than she was and dragging her was proving very difficult. "We need to do something about your breath."
"Thank you!" Tash beamed stupidly. Lily rolled her eyes and continued to drag her friend to the end of the street.
"I just did something really naughty!" Tash giggled. "I think I…"
"Yes dear you got drunk," Lily cut her off, trying to untwist her arm, which was being held by Tash's limpet grasp.
"Lily," Tash said again.
"Yes Tash?" Lily asked wearily.
"…I want a biscuit."
"You can have one when we get home," Lily promised. "Maybe an nice glass of water and toast too…"
"I love you Lily," Tash said dozily.
"Its times like this," Lily said as they turned into her street. "That I'm not sure I can truthfully repeat that statement."
A/N: Right just to state a few things.
Firstly I have never been (or ever intend to be) drunk before in my life. And so I'm sorry if the effects of the alcohol are a little out. Much of this was guesswork.
And in regards to the whole 'I burst a tyre on my second driving lesson' I'm rather ashamed to say I did do this in real life. Eh well, no ones perfect especially not me!
And Jenny, before you come after me with your dogs and your pyjamas I have nothing against your clothes! In fact I love your clothes! Green is who you are, never let anyone tell you any different!
As for the whole 'Tash-mysteriously-disappearing-and-turning-up-in-her-street' thing, you'll all find out next chapter.
Hope I didn't confuse anyone!
Next Chapter: Tash and Sirius have some confessions.
May Stardust fall in your dreams!
